Just a spur I had, hcs of Hollanov with mreader who's a household object. Happy birthday @reallyromealone
TW: Fire mention in Stefan's, monster/scaring in xxXShadowl0rd420Xxx, slight NSFW on the last point on each hc, nothing too much in detail (terrible puns).
Say it's sometime between Heated Rivalry and The Long Game.
While staying at the cottage in the summer, they recieve an anonymous package with date-ocles (I couldn’t think of a pun combining date and monocles) instructing on how to use it and for an object to be “awoken", both must be wearing a monocle and be concentrated on an object.
Shane was already put off by the anonimity of the parcel, so he was planning on doing what any responsible person would do: Just ignore the package or send it away. Ilya, however was curious to test the package out. He was the one who took the sunset-colored monocles out, and mangaed to convince Shane to at least consider.
The directions were simple enough to follow, and no harm done if they did a step wrong. After some deliberation,
Darkness
You scared them the first time you revealed yourself to them- taking away the light was one thing, but revealing your monstrous, hulking form? That was whole 'nother thing.
Shane definitely let out his fear more, though Ilya also shows it to a tinier degree. It only took some more visits for them to realize that the dramatic edgy persona didn't mean you were malicious.
As a matter of fact you, it became kinda adorable to them how you kept this font. Cuteness aggression would take over and they would try to fight you- Ilya tackling right in the stomach while Shane would grab you by the "horns".
After seeing your "human form", it's a touching moment for all- Shane and Ilya get to see a more softer side, and you get to be more honest to them and yourself.
Ofc it's a change, but they like it how you're more man-handleable and similar to them. The (physical) emo boy aesthetic is the one style that stays the same.
You're surprisingly good at video games, and depending on who tells you first, you pretend to either not know the video game cover to annoy Ilya, or repeatedly ask Shane which cover he's on.
You're a more subby guy for them in human form, but you get all dom in monster form to twist them any way you want. Making them shiver out of pleasure rather than fear. Though, those two aren't exclusive.
Stove
Right off the bat, you told them that your kitchen was a no-nonsense zone, and that they either HELP or GTFO.
Ilya’s humor regularly got under your burners, which also scared tf out of Shane- you being a potential fire hazard. Luckily for them, you never (physically) resorted to that degree.
Mr. Cluckles has to calm you down, and Shane needs to be the one to pull Ilya from provoking you.
Speaking of which, Mr. Cluckles is adored by both Shane and Ilya- the latter calling him nugget. Mr. Cluckles is indifferent to the name.
After getting to know them and vice versa, you show a softer side of them. Mr. Cluckles smugly chirps how he knew you would warm up to them ba-dum tss but you shush him.
Both of them can count on their man to make them a hot and delicious breakfast/lunch/dinner/whatever when they don’t have time and energy.
You often cook something new for them, unless they have a request of a previous dish you made.
Now...despite being "sturdy" in all senses of the word, you get preheated by them easily, also in all senses of the word. Putting their meat in your oven.
Water Heater
You had a voice so gentle that when you were "awoken" by them.
You were honestly more glad to see them than the other way around- being stuck in an isolated room got really down sometimes.
Luckily for you, your cordial demeanor had them coming back when it was just for a chat.
You were a bit of a perplexing object: When thinking about the water heater, Shane and Ilya would have envisioned a battle-hardened man with rusted metal as clothes, but no.
You would always be asked to jump in the hut tub with them, so as to actually relax instead of just working.
Shane is the one who likes be held by you, even if it isn't anything related to water. You just have that warming inside that makes you akin to an electric blanket.
Ilya on the other hand likes to be the one who does the holding- protecting his water heating man makes him feel bubbly inside.
The three of you always have the opportunity to "generate" water and making it hot.
Anon ask: More Z-Team with AI Reader because holy shit that was awesome HC's.
Fun fact I got this ask a few hours after I posted part one, this is gon' be unorganized. TW: Misanthropy, animal abuse (doesn't actually happen), slurs (?[clanker is used]), electrical harm, I think that’s it.
Reposting this bc I don't know if it showed up correctly. Credit goes to @kutsante (on twitter) for the first template, and @pwingless for the second template.
Z-Team x AI! reader headcanons pt. 2
After debriefing you on your new duties, rules, and essentially "life", Blonde Blazer gave you the name "PPAI" (Phoenix Program Artificial Intelligence). Pronounced 'Pie' for simplicity's sake.
When Sonar asked you for predictions/future on stock outcomes, you didn’t immediately help, saying that it would be akin to cheating.
"C’mon PPAI pleeeease I’ll give you half of my c0ke stash!” “What the HTML would a computer do with a supply of Benzoylmethyl-ecgonine?”
Sonar had to learn how to ”give” java and cookies in order for you to help him out occasionally.
It is mentioned that sorcery exists via Punch-Up's backstory, so it is an interesting question on whether magic can or can't overpower technology.
With some persuasion, you've had a lesser assignment in trying to get Punch-up to his normal height or at the very least track another sorceress to help him. No skin off his back if you can't.
I mentioned in the first post that each member + Robert got a setting on their earpiece/computer. On the first few shifts that you worked with them, most shut you out or called you a clanker. That only mildly bothered you the first few times, but it got irritating after a while and you had no progress.
It didn't help that sometimes you would legit make a mistake, and the others would clown you for supposedly being super smart.
You managed to electrically zap them, with much effort, along with forms of sabotage as mentioned in part one. That, along with taunting them by reminding them of past failures, either in their lives or the current dispatching session.
Y’all know how every member brought a lamp when they met up at Robert’s party? You would show up using a drone carrying a solar-powered lamp for him.
BEEF! During the time of having recently captured by Royd, animals were no exception to your dislike of anything biologically living. Once you found out there was a fat stupid little chihuahua casually roaming around the office, you already began to think on how to kill him. Luckily for him, you had other pressing issues at hand. (And also because Robert would’ve purged you right there and then.)
One wrong way on how you bonded with the other members is no matter who was recruited, you were also annoyed at them.
You had to babysit them- Waterboy on doing actual hero work for the first time or repeatedly pulling Phenomaman from his depression.
Your first time with them would consist of you short circuiting with the former, and trouble communicating with the latter.
During the bar fight, you were good at being the stealthy one. Since you weren't that well known, you were surprisingly dangerous if you were inhabiting a robot body. With or without your robot host, you could easily hijack other's tech and use it against them.
When you started "fighting" with Shroud, that was one of the first times you've seriously been "hurt". Parts of your algorithm were simply too slow for Shroud's calculations, and his own cybersecurity was able to defend itself and attack back.
It didn't help that you were overworking yourself on finding solutions to fight Rampant Red Ring Riots (say that three times fast), enforcing security from hackers, helping Robert bypass online guards, talking with multiple people at once, etc.
At this point of the game, you've already built an okay-ish report with your teammates. As a matter of fact, after Chase wore himself out, you were quietly working on solutions to heal him. You partially came up with the idea of using the amulet on him.
As such, they were worried for you when you over-exhausted yourself and needed time "healing". A.K.A., Royd rebuilding your code.
The way im still seeing Shane Hollander x Fem!reader fics as if that man isn’t gay… guys can we stop this shit. Even when Ilya is involved, it’s so gross. Ilya is bisexual but Shane has no interest including a woman in the bedroom next to his lover
So, this isn't a full-on fanfic I have. This is merely an inkling of a few extra prisoners and some of their backstories: TW because of torture, allothat.
Zina
Zina is the youngest of the group, 13 years old pre-AM.
She is stuck in a child's body, and while she still retains (little) childlike wonder, she is just as mature as the rest of the prisoners.
Pre-AM, she lived in Northland, New Zealand, and was about to move with her parents to New South Wales, Australia.
Because she still has her childlike personality, AM will use that to it's advantage. Sometimes Zina gets fooled/scared, but sometimes she can "tough it out".
Her torture chamber is similar to a blender. She is inside the plastic "jar" and tied to the bladeless center pole. AM will cause her to spin 800-1000 RPM for hours at a time, and will suddenly stop for a few minutes before continuing, sometimes in the other direction. This causes her to have a lot of internal bleeding, bruising, and nausea.
José
Older than Zina, younger than Ted.
In his early 20's, and is constantly worried and every once in a while, "jumpy". If what he's trying to convey isn't understood, he'll give up, not to the extent of Nimdok though.
Pre-AM, he was already a young dad to his son. He and his girlfriend were teens when she got pregnant, and didn't want the baby. Soon after his son was born, he and his parents moved to Texas, America from Coahuila, Mexico.
AM has taken Josés ability to produce any English. José can read and listen to English and understand perfectly, but AM has removed his ability to speak and write English. Thus, he can only speak Spanish to the group (AM has prevented the other seven from learning Spanish), use gestures, drawing, or nonsensical sounds. It's frustrating for him.
His torture chamber is similar to a car seat, in a glass box. There are multiple seatbelts that restrain him, and an overhead shower constantly floods the with freezing water. The water level is always at head height, so he has to keep his face up so that his mouth is the only part of him that breaks the surface. The temperature of the water makes it hard to breath normally.
Akari
Slightly younger than Nimdok, older than Gorrister.
In her early-mid 60s. She keeps calm under pressure for others, and when she does feel negative emotions, she hides it well.
Pre-AM, she lived in Okinawa, Japan all her life. Was into music and taught piano, harp, and shamisen independently after retirement from a university.
She is usually looking out for others, but won't give into false hope/futility when it's obvious. When she gets overwhelmed, she'll step away from the group for a while.
Her torture chamber is in a cage- she is spread out and tied in an X-shaped crucifix where metallic rods will protrude from the ground and violently hit her. She is unable to cover herself.
Them-centric
After AM took over, it would take a long time for the three to meet each other.
After years and years of exploring, José and Akira found each other. Since José hasn't been able to speak English years ago, he tried again after meeting Akari- to no avail.
They stayed together, and "developed" their own language: Akari memorizing certain sounds/words/gestures that José made.
After finally coming across Zina, she stays a few feet away from the duo. Since AM tormented her while she was alone for much longer, she'd obviously be distrustful.
After finally getting closer to Akari and José, Zina also knows the "language."
With the main prisoners
Ellen is finally "happy" that she isn't the only woman in the group upon meeting them, though the age gap between her and Akari is somewhat a barrier, and the one with her and Zina is a bigger one.
Akari will treat her (Ellen) the same as she does the others, but she might open a bit more to her every once in a while.
On the subject of relatability, Nimdok will also be one of the "original" prisoners that will be closer to Akari because they're the oldest humans. He will also be one who will open up to her, and vice versa.
Gorrister will refer to José as "kid" seeing as how he's 30~ years older. Zina he sometimes refers to as "little girl", not out of maliciousness. He's rough but still cares about the two.
Zina will be scared of Benny the first time they meet- obviously, he sticks out like a sore thumb. He knows this, so he tries to stay away from her for a short time, with the interactions they do have him being extra patient over time. They become close eventually.
Benny and José have learnt to be more physical with each other, as they both have difficulties with english- Benny speaks it improperly, and José can't produce it at all.
José likes Ellen well enough. Though she can't replace Akari, she's one of the more gentler prisoners. Nimdok speaks to him as though he could speak english, to which José will only sometimes find it mildly confusing.
Zina looks up to Ellen as a mother figure. Akari is more of a grandmother figure, and José being an older cousin type to her.
Ted can't say that him being the youngest is a reason for others to hate him, but it could still be leverage that he was the youngest of the original 5.
His usual snarkiness attitude to José, irritates to which he responds back despite the language barrier. Ted knows it's an insult back, but is moreso baited at not knowing what José is saying.
Zina he ignores, but Akari will come to their (everyone else's, original 5 included) defense, not afraid to get strict if he crosses a line.
That's all I have. Next two fic will be Dispatch Z-Team x AI reader and Under the Shell.
Okay, today is Speak Your Own Language Day, so I should be speaking Spanish, HOWEVER I want to use this day of language learning and appreciation to explain something about how Spanish works, and Hispanic people already know that so it wouldn't make much sense to explain it in Spanish, which is why just for this post I'm gonna use English.
I'm gonna be talking, of course, of grammatical gender, because of this viral image:
I'm sure you've seen an image like this floating around and people crying about how having non-binary be translated with a feminine and masculine form depending on usage defeats the purpose of the term.
But it doesn't!!!
Spanish is not like English, it has ✨grammatical gender✨ which has nothing to do with gender identity whatsoever. It's not that we believe chairs are female and stools are male, our grammar is just like this. Every word has a grammatical gender and there must be grammatical gender concordance. Thus, non-binary must have both a feminine and masculine form to use depending with which word you're pairing it.
Let's say you want to talk about a "non-binary person". 'Person' in Spanish is 'persona' a grammatically feminine word (despite its usage being gender neutral and encompassing people of any gender, as I said, grammatical gender ≠ gender identity). Because 'persona' is a grammatically feminine word, you have to apply grammatical concordance accordingly, and so to say "non-binary person" you would say "persona no binaria".
Now let's say you want to talk about "non-binary gender". 'Gender' in Spanish is 'género' a grammatically masculine word, and because of that to say "non-binary gender" you would say "género no binario".
See? It's not about grammatically imposed misgendering, it's about how this language is built.
But Shine, I hear you say, that's all nice and good, but how do I refer to my non-binary friend? And well, dear reader, you're in luck because I'm not only Spaniard but also non-binary myself.
In Spanish 'friend' (like a whole lot of words) has a feminine and masculine form. When those words are used to refer to people, grammatical gender does match gender identity. For the most part. And broadly speaking, feminine words are associated with the vowel -a, and masculine with the vowel -o (this is not universal, there are exceptions to this, I'm trying to paint the broad picture to give you a general idea).
So what about gender neutral? Well, officially we don't have one. The Real Academia Española doesn't recognize it... But the RAE isn't word of god, it compiles usage, so the more a term is used, the more chances it will be officially recognized. Not using a term because it's not officially recognized is actively detrimental to the goal you want to achieve.
Okay, not an official gender neutral, but what have we come up with? Well, at least in Spain, it's associating gender neutral to the vowel -e. So you have the femenine ella/la/-a, the masculine él/lo/-o, and the gender neutral elle/le/-e.
Now time for practical examples!
"My friend, David, is a boy." 🇬🇧 → 🇪🇸 "Mi amigo, David, es un chico."
"My friend, Liz, is a girl." 🇬🇧 → 🇪🇸 "Mi amiga, Liz, es una chica."
"My friend, Alex, is non-binary." 🇬🇧 → 🇪🇸 "Mi amigue, Alex, es no binarie."
And that's how you do it!! At least in queer friendly spaces in Spain, can't speak for other places. I have seen the 'x' thrown around to make gender neutral in Spanish, but -e is way more intuitive for spoken language, so I like it better.
But anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk and remember I generalized a lot when doing this. If you're learning Spanish I can only wish you good luck in dealing with our bullshit if you come from English, and assure you that once you internalize our orthography rules you will never again mispronounce a word you read for months before you hear it spoken (we have a very consistent spelling/pronunciation system, gotta be one of my favourite things about my language).
I've done this after hearing about the passing of Tom Kane, The Voice of Professor Utonium and HiM from The Powerpuff Girls. He's also done some other voices works in Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, The Wild Thornberrys, Star Wars, etc.
This one really hurts me... As the Professor is one of my favorite Cartoon Dads of all time, and it's really heartbreaking to know that the man behind this wonderful father character has now left us...
Rest in peace Tom Kane, thank you for all the Childhood Memories you gave us...
