"It was too much, the way he thought about her."

"He knew it was too much, but he couldn’t stop." 🌙 Amateur artist and writer and in everything in life | 🌙 Jurdan is all I can draw | AO3:LoreLorelay

[avelanlorelay]

My Jurdan fics in Ao3 (tfota)

Dernière Danse

Completed | post-canon | post The Queen of Nothing | fluffy and angst | drama

“Give her everything you have and Jude will never be satisfied. Humble yourself and beg, swear your love every day and keep promises all your life. And she’ll tire of you. She’ll get bored and look for another fool who will interest her more. She’ll break your heart until there’s nothing left to hurt.” Once upon a time, there was a boy with a heart of glass that broke into a thousand pieces. But his mother was wrong. Jude Duarte didn’t give in to easy feelings. She honored her choices and valued the love of those who were faithful to her. Jude was loyal. “Say what you like, I’m no longer the silly, needy boy you looked down on. I know that passion and love aren’t the same thing. And Jude loves me as much as I love her. It’s sincere, and you can’t ruin it like you do everything you touch.” She stared at him with eyes blazing with anger Then a smile spread across her flushed lips. “You’re right. You’re no longer the silly child I used to despise. Now, you’re the foolish boy Jude Duarte will despise.” She stroked his jaw with her sharp nails and turned away, heading back to the palace without looking back.

Please, Come Back and Tell Me You Still Love Me

Completed | modern au | angst with a happy ending | a shot with 3 chapters

“If you want to go, then go, I won’t stop you.” Cardan managed to say, treacherous voice sounding hoarse, Jude’s hands gripping the door handle. “But if you go, know that you need never come back, forget I exist. Forget everything.” Please, come back. Please, let go of that damn door and tell me you still love me. Come back to me, Jude. He pleaded in his mind for a long moment where she remained motionless. Then Jude turned the knob and walked away without looking back, the door slamming with a bang behind her.

The Bodyguard

In progress | modern au | bodyguard romance | romantic thriller

When Jude Duarte was given the task of protecting rising rockstar Cardan Greenbriar from a dangerous stalker, her intuition already told her it would be a tricky mission. But the capricious, irresponsible and annoyingly attractive boy seems to make everything even more difficult. As if being threatened by a crazy stalker who wants to destroy his life wasn’t enough trouble to deal with, Cardan Greenbriar could never have imagined that having a scary bodyguard and a breathtaking girl would make him even more out of his mind. None of them were prepared for what was to come.

Love, that force that compels us to be sometimes better and often worse

Completed | The Prisoner's Throne spoilers | a shot with 4 chapters

Some deleted scenes of Jurdan from The Prisoner's Throne.

Tales of Enemies and Lovers

Series of one shots

Fireflies

Completed | one shot | romantic fluff | post canon | post The Queen of Nothing | on tumblr

“I am the one who desperately wants you.” He stroked her cheeks in his long-fingered hand. “Say what you want and I’ll give you anything, anything you wish. If you asked me for the stars, I’d go up to the sky and knock them down for you. I’d make the planet stop spinning, Jude. Just ask and I will give you everything I have and steal what I don’t have.” “I don’t wish for anything. All I want is you. It is more than enough.” She slid her fingers under his chin and pulled him to her, their mouths intertwining effortlessly. Cardan steals Jude from the feast to show a surprise. Based on the deleted scene from The Queen of Nothing.

How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Picnics

Completed | one shot | romantic fluff | post canon | Mortal word

Based on a Tumblr request: Jude and Cardan go on a family picnic in the Mortal World, but when a boy flirts with Jude....

Positions

Completed | one shot | romantic fluff | post canon | fluff and smut | pillow talk | on tumblr

"How do you prefer it when we make love?" He asked suddenly. Jude stared at him with a frown. "What? Are you delirious with fatigue?" She asked, her mind sluggishly not understanding what he meant. "I'm serious." He retorted offended. "I mean, what's your favorite way to make love? How can I explain.... The position of our bodies."

Hummingbird

Completed | one shot | romantic fluff | post canon | domestic fluff | on tumblr

She opened her eyes. There was no way she wouldn’t wake up, with him moving around so much. Jude thought about waking him up with a poke and asking what his problem was. Instead, she watched.

The Demanding Queen

Completed | one shot | romantic smut | post canon | fluff and smut | pillow talk | on tumblr | little smut

He caught her by the waist when the Queen almost tripped in front of the guards as they passed through the door of their chambers. Cardan had to caught a laugh as well. Seeing his wife drunk was as rare as seeing dragons. He kept his grip on her waist as he closed the doors to the royal chambers, and what a surprise it was when Jude threw herself on top of him, knocking them both to the floor. "Tell me you love me. Tell me I'm the only woman in the world you desire." “I love you." Cardan obeyed without hesitation “You are the only woman I desire. You always will be." “Now tell me something you've never told me before." “If I could go back in time, you would have been the only woman in my life."

[avelanlorelay]

Cool girls celebrate Halloween all year round 🎃 The Bodyguard - The Halloween

The truth is that I’m very embarrassed abt being so late 😭😭😭

[avelanlorelay]

Cool girls celebrate Halloween all year round 🎃 The Bodyguard - The Halloween

The truth is that I’m very embarrassed abt being so late 😭😭😭

[avelanlorelay]

hi! regarding what you said about being embarrased to write smut… I understand being embarrased bc usually sex is a taboo topic but please know that many people write smut, and many people read it and love it! though it’s difficult to overcome the embarrassment but my advice is you shouldn’t let it ruin something you love

also many people like the way you write!! personally i am one of them!!

as a reader i can tell you that i love reading smutty scenes especially when they’re super explicit so go!! have fun!! i promise that you’ll have at least one person (me) gushing over you fics!!!

also, what you mentioned some time ago about wanting to write about cardan being jealous of oak bc he has jude’s love and attention, i’d LOVE to read it. you said that you thought some people would think it’s weird but personally i think it’d be such an interesting piece !!

i’d adore to read your take on cardan’s relationship with nicasia vs with jude, too

so don’t feel embarrased about the way you write!! sending you so much love 💖💘💝💕💞💓💗🩷💖💘💝💕💞💓

Sorry for the delay to answer and thank you very muuuch, your message made me sooo happy 🥹🥹 Also this topic are very funny to me because I believe most of us in Jurdan fandom are women and we are just “yeees I wanna read about sex explicit” idk is just so relatable bc I love read that type of story too, especially when comfort and trust are involved, and some people just underestimate women sex interests, but we can be worse than men lol.

Thank u very for appreciate my ideas and writing 🥺, I’m just killing myself to finished the next chapter of The Bodyguard (I just realized writing post canon is easier to me 😭) and I will work on that ideas, especially on explicit stories with sassy Jude, I hope you like them and sorry my English 💗💗💗💗

[madockisser]

lots of ppl have mixed opinions on cardan in the first book, which is fair, but me personally, just LOOK at how subtle he is at protecting her. and i don’t just mean when he stuck his foot in the water to scare the nixies away from jude when his buds threw her and Taryn in the river, i mean these:

This one, when he thinks that dains spies are about to beat Jude’s ass over who gets the pretty prince, so he cautions her away from picking a fight w them. And that’s AFTER she’s kidnapped him LOOLLL

And this. really cute and subtle way of saying “be careful babe!” but he makes it seem sorta like an insult. like she would be wasting his time if she went and died. he keeps himself so well guarded so as to not get himself hurt again PLS. guys i am normal about him.

him reaching for her after he learned that valerian tried to kill her AGAIN. 😐 i need him.

And then this one. imagine how he felt seeing her leave the tower covered in blood knowing that valerian was in there w her. and Hollys annotation here. yeah ok im so normal- this proves that he didn’t expect his cruelty to encourage valerians murdery lust for jude. to encourage Locke to take her as his prize, to encourage nicasia to humiliate the twins to get cardans and lockes favor.

AND DONT GET ME STARTED, on when he’s drunk and his families been murdered and he’s officially elfhames #1 most wanted and he’s telling Jude to be careful, that she shouldn’t be at balekins evil little revel 😭😭 he worried more for her than he did himself.

and i could just GO ON. and i shall:

when he sends her a dress made for royalty opposed to one that made her look more like servant/ would allow Taryn to outshine her (she could never tho)

When he told Locke to piss off and began dancing w her when Locke was abt to tell her that he’s been fuxking her sis the whole time.

When he saw her (canon according to Hollys annotations) after she stole Sophie (the human servant at hollow hall) and didn’t do or say anything AND PROBABLY EVEN TOOK THE FUCKING BLAMMMEEE IM SO SICK.

anyway I’m sure there’s more so feel free to add on 😭

But i just LOVE how cardan knows how jude is, the way that Taryn describes jude in her novella- as someone who doesn’t back down from a dare, who picks fights with anyone and everyone, who brings those that pick on her down to her level. he knows his wife so well, even in the first book, he knew her so much better than even her father. than ANYONE even Taryn. bc Taryn was all like “promise you’ll stop bothering them!” Like do you KNOW who you’re talking to lmao

anyway I LOVE TYEMEMEMMEMEHSIAPS someone sedate me fr

[avelanlorelay]

I was rushing to get chapter 14 of The Bodyguard posted on Halloween, but my job insists on getting in the way of my whole life 😔

I'm sorry, please let's pretend Halloween is in November too 😭😭😭

[avelanlorelay]

Thinking about writing a one-shot comparing Cardan's relationship with Nicasia and Cardan's relationship with Jude, I asked myself: why exactly did Nicasia stop loving Cardan? Because she's a big, empty, whiny idiot? Obviously. Because Locke attracted her, perhaps with his magical charm or just because he was different from Cardan? Also. But something tells me that his melancholy bothered her.

I've already written about this in The Bodyguard, but it's canon that Cardan and Jude recognize each other because they both have wounded souls. Nicasia, however, doesn't seem to have suffered at any point in her life, and although Locke is practically an abandoned boy with a ruined family, he seems extremely insensitive to it, but Cardan isn’t. He has always had a deep bitterness inside him, a restlessness that haunted him, created by his fears and abandonment.

She liked his personality, and I don't believe Cardan was such an absent lover that he made her feel needy, but I think something kept them apart. In the novel The King of Elfhame, it is said that the evilness of both brings them together, but while Nicasia is evil for pure pleasure, for Cardan cruelty is a defense mechanism. If being a villain is what unites them, but most of the time Cardan strives to be a villain, then what really unites the two?

In the tale “The Lament of Lutie-Loo,” Cardan tells the fairy that he also feels imprisoned in front of Nicasia, which makes me wonder if he shared his sorrows with her. He told her about his life, of course, but did he confide in her? Did Cardan seek out Nicasia when he felt sad and inadequate, or did he prefer her company just to get drunk and forget his suffering? Did he seek the comfort of her embrace, or did he continue to wear his mask even with her, while hurting others in an attempt to lessen his own suffering?

In his letters, Cardan writes to Jude that she knows all his weaknesses, referring to his cowardice and cruelty. Now, when Nicasia asks Jude to save him from his curse, she simply cannot understand why he does good things, like helping mortal slaves.

Jude likes Cardan's good side, but she loves him for his bad side too, because she loves him for who he is. Nicasia, on the other hand, only admires his cruel side. While Jude embraces Cardan's suffering because she understands it, Nicasia helps him ignore it.

If Nicasia didn't love Cardan completely, then did she really love him at all?

[madockisser]

Out of all of Cardan’s miseries, out of him being tortured in his youth, out of him being abused, belittled, and neglected by nearly his whole family. Out of him laughing and drinking himself sick as a coping mechanism so he doesn’t fall into deep depression. Out of him desperately clinging to his abusers for a glimpse of love. Out of him being the last family member, to hold up and keep the Greenbriar legacy alive— out of ALL of Cardans various sufferings- he suffers most at the thought of Jude never coming back to him. put me out of my misery honestly

[avelanlorelay]

Wrote this and now I'm wondering if male faes also have to wait at least 10 minutes to get hard again lol omg i need help

[avelanlorelay]

Every time I listen this song I remember Cardan and Jude lol 🥹

You were clever Knew when to deliver your lines > Jude always has a sharp reply at the tip of her tongue. And make it seem like you weren't that bright >When she had to pretend she wasn't as skilled and intelligent as any fae You were better In every way by design You were too good for a man's confines > Too good for any ordinary man to have any real chance, sorry

How come we never even dated But I still find myself thinking of you daily? Why do you always leave me aching When you were never mine for the taking? > Cardan thoughts during TCP and TWK, I just know

I can't make you love me No, I can't make you love me Babe, I can't make you love me > Self-explanatory

You are a pretty one Nice to romanticize But you don't make yourself easy to like > How many times did that boy fantasize and dream about Jude, only to find the real version of her who hated him the next day? You like to have your fun You dance around the line Of what is wrong and what is right > And so it is to fall in love with a girl who walks the line between being a heroine and a scheming killer

[avelanlorelay]

Thinking about write short stories about Jude being sassy because oh my, the man she has as her husband T*T

[avelanlorelay]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I wrote this, it's kind of smutty, but I just wrote it without really thinking too much kkkkkkkkk. I think it turned out cute (I like writing about my girl being vulnerable sometimes, please, she needs a little peace T*T)

[avelanlorelay]

Wanting to write more explicit jurdan hot stories but I’m so embarrassed. I’m afraid that people think “girl u are so perverted, omg”. But now that I’m dating I have so many ideas 😭😭😭😭

[imaginelovewrite]

You’re not perverted for writing plenty of people write smut

[avelanlorelay]

I know, my ideas aren't even fetishistic, just... graphic. But thinking about people reading it is embarrassing. I've been embarrassed even by all the more implicit scenes I've written, lol T*T

[avelanlorelay]

Wanting to write more explicit jurdan hot stories but I’m so embarrassed. I’m afraid that people think “girl u are so perverted, omg”. But now that I’m dating I have so many ideas 😭😭😭😭

[veerbles]

finished the cruel prince trilogy and have surprisingly little thoughts for how action-packed the queen of nothing was.

too much plot has happened for me to hang onto my hatred for taryn, but she was still forgiven wayyyyy too easily, to the point where it kind of undermines jude's whole characterization. but alas. she wasn't horrible in this book and I'm glad she murdered locke and freed us all of him.

I don't hate the idea of taryn/ghost. kind of weird that she can like, control him now? power dynamics are fucked up in this world. but I guess I can see how they can make each other better.

bomb and roach supremacy!!! would a hundred percent read a series about their allies to friends to pining to lovers journey. he thought he has no chance 🥹 she longed for him in silence 🥹 they saved each other 🥹🥹🥹💘💘💘

all of the side characters in this book were sooooooo much more interesting than previous books. fand and grima mog, I'm looking at you.

glad for the plot twist with jude's exile being a trick, because it made her relationship with cardan much more believable and substantial.

the pacing was good, the plot lines were good, the resolution was good (if not a bit simplified). I enjoyed it

[avelanlorelay]

Finally somebody talking about Liliver and Van, we need a tale about theeeeeeeeeeem 😭😭😭

[avelanlorelay]

Writing Jude biting Cardan’s chin and thinking: why doesn’t he have a beard? Even when he’s already a man, it’s not mentioned. I’m not complaining, of course, but in some male fae it just doesn’t grow? Madoc and Baphen have beard, don’t they? Maybe it depends on age, but the idea of Cardan shaving is hot lol.

[avelanlorelay]

How can a villainous prince have weaknesses such as a tail, a nervous tic, and being a devoted lover. That's so funny.

[avelanlorelay]

Thinking about write short stories about Jude being sassy because oh my, the man she has as her husband T*T