aves

and the things we do today will be tomorrows news

[under-the-arch]

[culturistjack-deactivated201804]

I'd very much like to punch a feminist.

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.

[olisaurusrex]

I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs

ready when you are

[thattallsummonerguy]

Or if you’d like to have some more options….

I’m 6’4” 228 pounds and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football. Just in case you are looking for variety.

[wontbeafraid-deactivated2014041]

what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.

[nevergenders-moved]

im tiny, i’m like 5′4 and 130 lbs but u can fight me too

[scumbagsblog]

Reblogging for the last one cuz that’s adorable

[likeits1995]

SO PROUD

[ghost--ranger]

The Fantastic 4 we deserve

[crimezi]

OMG IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREEN SHOTS

[stars-for-thought]

We will all protect the small one.

[cover-your-ears]

I stan

[keithiskogained-deactivated2019]

it got better!!

[babygoose-deactivated20240106]

plot-twist: the small one could actually kick everyone’s ass

[raccooncryptidd]

If one day I see this on my dash and DON’T reblog it assume I’m dead.

[postmastered]

the small one is hiding an absolutely ripped torso under that shirt 

[theyoutubetags]

50 questions you’ve never been asked tag

1. What’s your favorite candle scent? 2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister? 3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother? 4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married? 5. Do you know a hoarder? 6. Can you do a split? 7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? 8. How many oceans have you swam in? 9. How many countries have you been to? 10. Is anyone in your family in the army? 11. What would you name your daughter if you had one? 12. What would you name your son if you had one? 13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test? 14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child? 15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight? 16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series? 17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent? 18. Did your mother go to college? 19. Are your grandparents still married? 20. Have you ever taken karate lessons? 21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is? 22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to? 23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in? 24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray? 25. Is your father bald? 26. Do you know triplets? 27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook? 28. Have you ever had Indian food? 29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant? 30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden? 31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)? 32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender? 33. If you have a nickname, what is it? 34. Who’s your favorite person in the world? 35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs? 36. Can you whistle? 37. Do you sleep with a nightlight? 38. Do you eat breakfast every morning? 39. Do you take any pills or medication daily? 40. What medical conditions do you have? 41. How many times have you been to the hospital? 42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo? 43. Where do you buy your jeans? 44. What’s the last compliment you got? 45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning? 46. What flavor tea do you enjoy? 47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own? 48. What religion will you raise your children to practice? 49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real? 50. Why do you have a youtube?

this tag was not created by me.

[officialrung-deactivated2020010]

you know whats great about little kids? its so easy to make their day. they ask me what my dogs name is and i say pikachu and they go

[becherdireinen]

Find someone who will be there for you at 2am when you’re falling apart, but also at 3pm when you love life and they make you love it more.

[four-toed-creed]

[ahsteria]

tag yourself ; terms of endearment

love - overthinker, long baths with rose petals, sad yet powerful smiles, old libraries, often found staring at the stars, hands smudged with graphite, no sleep™

honey - messy hair, loud yet beautiful laughter, bold colors, swirly handwriting, pink lipstick, wandering through art museums, dancing for no reason, vibrant dreams

sweetheart - summer breezes, compliments everyone, probably owns a pair of overalls, tea drinker, can’t sing for shit but still does anyway, favorite type of food is dessert

cutie - likes baking, says they’re stupid but is actually really damn smart, wants pastel hair, takes really nice notes, ice cream, favorite article of clothing is an oversized hoodie, pretty eyes

darling - s o f t, fav color is either yellow or pink, lots of flowers, wants to pet a cat, sleepy, actually has time to eat breakfast, rainy days, lip gloss

[straightboyfriend]

not to flex but i’ve never watched a pewdiepie video

[cielantro]

science side of tumblr tell me why

ain’t nothin but a heartache

[sakura-haruka]

[siyanie-zvezd]

[skeeterlikes]

This is my favorite video of all time, I’m not even exaggerating

[punkconcert]

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

[somewhat-honest-abe]

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

[gh0sthoodie]

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

[vulpeculavolans]

TRANSCRIPT:

JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.

AUDEINCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast. 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.

AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS

MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.  

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now - let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all! 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”

[whatsitnot]

Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[unconventionalbrain]

this is the best and most relatable thing I’ve ever seen “listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast” also I was instructed by my therapist to meditate this week and one problem I brought up was the sitting thing, and I still have not done it

[lillyjetaime-blog]

Being able to endure something does not equal an obligation to withstand it.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Rick Riordan finally snapped and released emails he sent to The Lightning Thief movie makers….

I can’t stop laughing

[eggings]

apparently almost no one’s seen the video it’s free real estate comes from so here it is

[ampervadasz]

Menő

[forgotten-sea-god]

[screenshotsofdespair]

[infiniteedge]

Odysseus tricks the giant Polyphemus (8th century BC)