Happy another homestuck day for those who still practice it

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@averyisalemon12
Happy another homestuck day for those who still practice it
Based on this tweet!
The most important thing you can do today, as a United States citizen, is ignore whatever the fuck is going on on the white house lawn
“There’s a monster inner”, another one repeated, “don’t ya think of going. None of thee poor sods came back who wandered in.”
Simon heaves an annoyed sigh and tightens the holster on his hip. The same dance every time.
“I’m aware, old man. That’s my job.”
“Thee one before ya said thee same. Never came back anyway. We get y’all folks all thee time. Just growing the list of lost souls, that’s what ya doing. None can deal with that monster.”
“He’s right young man”, the woman chipped in, “don’t throw your life away. We made peace with our lot long ago, the monster doesn’t leave the wood and we don’t go in. You’ll just die for nothing.”
Another sigh escapes him unprompted. Every time Simon got called in, the same exact dialogue was repeated over and over again. It’s as if every small town out there had the same script they just shared around. Don’t go there. So many tried. You’ll die. Yada yada. Heard that, been there.
“I’m called exactly for those reasons. My specialty is extermination of high risk entities like this one”, the last magazine goes in and Simon finally straightens up, “so go home and let me do my job.”
The old man shakes his head and grumbles away. The woman looks at him mournfully.
“You will not return”, she says finally and wanders off after the man.
Okay wow. That’s a new one. A nice encouragement for a battle to come. Instills good humor for sure. Jeez these people are weird sometimes.
Simon shakes his head and walks towards the wood line. It’s thick, the untamed undergrowth everywhere, high branches overhead blocking the sun as soon as you step under the trees.
He walks deeper and deeper, the gun at the ready and nerves tightly wound. The forest seems… average. Non at all what supernaturally infested places supposed to look like. The sun is scarce, but it shines through the tree tops here and there. Birds are singing around and animals hustling in the bushes from time to time. It’s quiet and serene, but not deadly so. If he didn’t know for certain, he would’ve signed this forest off as a false alarm.
He does, however, know for certain. So however much this entity will try to deceive him, it will not succeed.
That’s what Simon thinks to himself. Those thoughts however, do not save him from promptly being lost in the endless greenery. It’s beautiful here, peaceful. One too appreciative look at the trees around and Simon realizes that he lost the trail. Great. He sighs, angry at himself for the rookie mistake. Of course this entity would warp the space around it. What did he expect? This forest was nearly paint-perfect. There is no way such a place could exist naturally. Of course it’s designed to scatter the attention and disarm the entity’s prey.
As soon as the realization hits, however, the wooden tablet pops right in front of him.
“If you found yourself lost, please follow the guide”, Simon reads bewildered, “is it for real right now? I have never seen a more obvious trap.”
“🎶Stupid human🎶”
Simon whirls around, aiming the gun at a… rock? It definitely looks like a rock with spidery legs. A nature spirit? What is it doing here? They usually avoid entity infested places.
“And why is that? What are you doing here, little guy?” He did not expect an answer, however—
“🎶Stupid. Doesn’t understand simple things. All humans stupid. Why Grace help them, question? Don’t approve, statement. Ungrateful. Come here, make mess, then leave. Come all the time. Why humans keep coming, question? Grace told many times to stop. Never listen. Always come and get lost. Stupid-stupid humans. Create work for Rocky. Human think Rocky has nothing better to do? Stupid human. Come with Rocky. Will show human how to leave🎶”
Simon blinks, momentary stupefied by the chatter. He had never met a nature spirit that knew so many words in any of the human languages. All the others he’d seen usually either ignored people completely, preferring their own singing tongues, or used one or two words to mess with them. But he had never met any that could communicate like this. Wait a second…
“Leave? No. I need to find the entity in this forest. Can you help me?” He enunciates carefully, not sure if the spirit can understand him completely. “It has different energy from yours. An enemy. I can help you get rid of it if you show me where to go.”
The spirit stands quietly for a long second, then… sighs. Not exactly, but somehow Simon could tell that what it did was an equivalent of an exasperated sigh.
“🎶Knew human was stupid🎶” it shifts, turning around, “🎶follow Rocky. Will lead human to Grace. Don’t approve. But Grace said to show the way if humans ask. Grace also stupid. Rocky surrounded by idiots, statement.🎶”
That’s one bossy spirit he found (or rather it found him). Were they always like that and people just didn’t understand, or is this one an exception? However it may be, the important part is that the spirit will lead him to this Grace. Is it the entity with a name? Not good news if so. Named ones are the most tricky to deal with. And the fact that this nature spirit listens to it does not instill confidence as well. Whoever it is, it’s a powerful and dangerous entity. He should get ready.
***
“That’s it for today, class, I’ll see you tomorrow! Don’t forget about the litter collection duty this evening! We had a group of tourists in the east yesterday. Oh! And Adrian asked to see you, Tides, something about a new stream near their house.”
Whatever Simon was preparing himself to, this was not it. He wasn’t even sure what he was seeing exactly. Was it a… classroom? In the middle of the forest? Full of nature spirits learning English?
What. The. Fuck is happening here.
Spirits of all kinds scattered around, most not sparing him even a glance. Some stopped to talk with a… man? The teacher? But soon shuffled away as well.
It was definitely the entity. Simon raised the gun, preparing to fire. He will not take any chances here. However disarming and innocent it may look, he will not fall for its tricks. He is an experienced hunter and will—
The man turnes around and Simon freezes in place. Falling for its tricks. But god damn it, why does it have to have the most beautiful, kindest face he’d ever seen in his entire life?
The man smiles sheepishly and Simon’s arms fall a degree lower still, gun barrel aimed down now. Is this the entity? He can’t feel any malicious energy from it. For all intents and purposes, this guy feels like a normal human being. Is it a trick? What is happening here?
“I’m sorry for making you wait”, the guy steps closer, seemingly unconcerned about the gun, “the kids had a lot of questions today, I couldn’t just send them away like that. Are you a hunter too? Felt you on the western border earlier. You lot definitely like my forest a lot”, he chuckles and steps closer again, extending the arm for a handshake, “I’m Grace, by the way. May I know your name?”
And just like that Simon snappes out of the enchantment and jumps away, raising the gun again and firing at the entity. A name? Yeah right. As soon a they know your name it’s game over. And he almost fell for it! How stupid!
Grace blinks at him as bullets hit his body, drawing shimmering golden blood from the newly formed wounds. Light crawls from them like a spider web, making the entity look like a cracked vase with a candle inside. Apart from that, however, his enchanted weapon doesn’t seem to affect the entity in the slightest. Shit.
“Woah woah”, Grace lifts his hand in surrender, stepping away. No trace of anger on his face, “okay, no names. I get it. Were you also sent here to kill me then? Don’t want to rain on your parade here, but that won’t be possible, I’m afraid. I am not a what you call an entity, you see. So your weapons won’t harm me, not really.” He nods down on his torso, where the bullets hit him and Simon watches with horrified eyes, as the light pushes small pieces of metal out, sealing the wound with golden blood. Oh he is screwed. He is so screwed.
Simon throws the gun away, drawing the dagger out. He prays the xenonite amalgamation will work. If not, he knew he will die here like all the others. A lost soul, huh? He should’ve been more cautious. Ava always said this overconfidence will kill him one day. It seems, his asshole mentor was right once again.
these homo SUCKS
art by @niochemblyat
I always know its getting toasty out in the world because girls start reblogging this post like crazy
new body who dis
this is the first time in my life i thought oh i hope there’s music
how is trump alive?? like hes rlly gone thru his whole life like That …. and no one has ever just fuckin decked him?? gave him the ole one two? knocked his lights out??? incredible
sorry to improve your day without much notice but
NEVERMIND REBLOGGING AGAIN BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WE ALL NEED
This is cathartic
People just becoming politically aware are never going to appreciate just how fucking hated this guy was before he was in politics. He was hated for over half a century. Everyone aware of him mocked and derided him as a cheating, greedy corporate asshole and mindless bully and this is by far not the only time anyone clocked his ass but it is probably one of the only times it got caught on video. Hatred of him was bipartisan all my life and it just goes to show how easily right wingers can be suckered by anyone who kisses their collective asshole on their pet agendas.
Never forget that the reason Trump seems like an over-the-top stupidly villainous antagonist from a 90s movie is because half of them were based on Trump and making fun of him.
The reason The Simpsons and a handful of other comedies ‘predicted’ the Trump presidency was because he kept saying he wanted to run and nobody could think of anything funnier than a President Trump.
Seeing tr*mp just get fucking decked instantly made my night better
aw fuck yeah
this made my whole fucking life better
this is my new background for google.
i’ve survived two trump presidencies without seeing this? shame
It is wednesday my dudes
They've been mass-reblogging this since last friday. I have no idea why.
this website is crazy
This comic was commissioned on VGen and written by @fill2kill on Bluesky! This was a lot of fun to work on and i’m very happy with the end result!
BloodyMary comic based on "It's Worth It" by HulkJanitor (me) on Ao3.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/85475771/chapters/227282216
i love these two lmao
he’s right where he wants to be
hehehehehe * sudden moment of clarity that straightens my spine * what is this. who am I. * the clarity fades * hehehehehehe