AvPD Fleurdelys

[avpd-fleurdelys]

for the purpose of anonymity you may call me fleurdelys, my pronouns are he/him. i'm 19 and i have avpd. i have done a lot of research into the disorder as well as lived with it for years, and i do enjoy talking about it.

this blog will probably be a mix of venting, personal experiences, and maybe some research talk.

i don't have much else to put here, just know i am pro self diagnosis, against terms like "narcissistic abuse", and my blog is not for people who are "transavpd".

[bpdohwhatajoy]

Telling someone how you feel is a humiliation ritual

[houndmother]

automated text reply that just says YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON I AM LETTING DOWN

[avpdculture]

avpd culture is the perpetual cycle of "i'm socializing a lot, this sucks because it's terrifying and i need to crawl back into my shell forever" to "i'm barely socializing at all, this sucks because it's miserable and i need to get better so i don't have to live like this"

~

[avpdculture]

avpd + adhd + autism culture is god, i just want to talk about anything, or not talk, and have someone simply get it, but god every place that's supposed to be safe just makes you feel even more like a freak and nobody will ever understand it

~

[avpdculture]

avpd culture is realising that you have intertwined your life with someone else's so much that leaving them, which your brain desperately wants to do, will leave a hole so big in your heart that life will become straight up unbearable. getting attached to people sure is a nightmare

~

[avpd-fleurdelys]

babygirl i can feel embarrassed over things you haven't even heard of

[ravenlynclemens]

avpd

[equalperson]

HORRIBLE AVOIDANT REALITY: you have to talk to people to start therapy. or get a job. or make friends. or keep friends. or get your emotional needs met. or

[avpd-void]

AVPD is like every sentence I say makes a [LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER] sound ring inside my head