"unalive" should just mean the opposite of undead. if undead means a dead thing thats alive, unalive shuld mean an alive things thats dead. no i dont have any examples. ☝️yet
retail employees
YOU ARE THE REASON

@theartofmadeline
RMH
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styofa doing anything
hello vonnie
Keni
One Nice Bug Per Day

titsay

Discoholic 🪩
Monterey Bay Aquarium

if i look back, i am lost
macklin celebrini has autism
Mike Driver
Three Goblin Art
Not today Justin

tannertan36

Kaledo Art
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
dirt enthusiast
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@awkksaucee
"unalive" should just mean the opposite of undead. if undead means a dead thing thats alive, unalive shuld mean an alive things thats dead. no i dont have any examples. ☝️yet
retail employees
i wanna be a cowboy baby (HD remaster deluxe edition)
it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here
relationships and jobs are temporary. your shitty unpopular tumblr blog is forever
Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.
I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.
Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust
Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily
Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?
Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.
Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?
Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that
Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.
Me: I uh. Did not let go.
You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships
People on tumblr will just say anything huh.
Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.
Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?
This website is free
We pay in other ways.
the verticals vs the horizontals is tomorrow
*gets out a flat-head screwdriver*
Sometimes I think a lot about my mom's cat
My mom's cat is a common domestic shorthair we found on the side of the road as a kitten
Regular cat, not a maine coon or one of those massive breeds. His mom was smaller than a loaf of bread
But in a sort of a Clifford The Big Red Dog situation, he grew super fast, and really really big, and took a super long time to stop growing
Worried that she was overfeeding him, she eased back his portions, but he stayed a massive round baby
When he started having kidney problems, she took him to the vet.
The vet took a look at him and said, "holy fuck, what are you feeding him", checked the nutritional listings on his chow, and told her "Yeah, maybe he's reacting badly to the amount of grain in this, try a meatier diet"
So my mom wound up special-ordering this specific high-protein prescription cat food made of like. Kangaroo meat or some shit that cost like sixty bucks a bag
And, as typical act two in an episode of House, he somehow got worse on the fancy specialized stuff that was supposed to be Primo Athlete Olympic Feline Blend
Like. WAY worse. His guts were inflamed and his kidneys were shutting down and he was all sore and HE WAS STILL HUGE, just miserable and sad
So shetook him back to the vet, where they had to help him pee (he was apparently close to bursting and had some kind of blockage too) and went "Yeah no this is NOT normal and we don't know what's going on, we're gonna do some tests but in the meantime you should go back to what he was eating before, at least that wasn't actively killing him" so she did
And he still wasn't great, but he also improved
And so they take his blood and do an ultrasound and a couple g's later she gets a call back like "this is gonna sound crazy, but we want you to put him on a low-meat diet. Just the least amount of protein and iron and shit. We need you to find the grainiest, filler-iest dollar tree kibble available and give him some of that bad bad shit"
And my mother is a woman of science. So she did
And he GOT BETTER
His energy picked back up, inflammation went down, he started drinking normally again, got back to pissing like a fuckin champion
And so it turns out that out of all the random ass freeway bonus cats we possibly could have scooped out of a ditch, WE got the one-in-a-million freak of nature with a SPECIFIC genetic defect that means a paleo protein free range diet is essentially poison and he THRIVES on cheap ass garbage
Like. He medically NEEDS junk food
I dont really understand how that works, but i cant argue with results.
If we had four of him, they'd outweigh my mom. And he's FINE
Also blind, but that's unrelated
Im not using him as a symbol or a metaphor or anything. I just keep catching myself thinking about my mom's Big Fucking Cat
Yall are demanding a cat tax so here's him at 25 pounds
This does not do him justice but please know he's bigger than my auntie's hunting beagle
I was thinking about how ‘Grinch’ and ‘Scrooge’ are words for people who hate Christmas but aren’t exact synonyms and then this chart happened.
HELP???
wym i don’t know how to flirt? i literally tell you random and unimportant fun facts
im too mentally ill and too emotionally dysregulated for things to be happening to me
Ah yes. The mythical Playoff Baby buff
how am I supposed to tell people that this is my favorite color specifically because of the funny hex code?
New idea for the Irish flag
Irish tricolour with #69b00b and #fa6607
the 69 boob faggot Irish flag 🫡
Okay, YES!?
But the funniest thing about this is that I think you've actually discovered the one single piece of content that could have simultaneously upset both J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis so bad that they are, as we speak, clawing their way out of the grave ready to fight.*
*whether they're going to fight you or just each other is not clear yet, we'll just have to wait and see.
ok but when did sauron ever make gifts?
The ring?
FIIIIIVE GOOOLDEN RIIIINGS
but they were all of them... deceived
for a partridge in a pear tree was made
NINE GO-OLD RINGS
Seven for the dwarves
Three for elves
None for hobbitses
And One Ring to rule them all
Sauron literally called himself Annatar, the Lord of Gifts, during the Second Age. And he certainly had a workshop staffed with small green beings...
Years ago I overheard (eavesdropped upon) a telephone conversation between a public parks official and a golf course owner.
Parks Official: No sir, you cannot
Parks Official: No. They are a protected species
Parks Official: You CANNOT shoot them
Parks Official: Or poison them, no. Or trap them
Parks Official: If you like, we can-- no, I'm it. I'm the ranking official here. There's nobody above me. My boss? You mean... the governor's office? Sure, I guess. Okay bye
After he hung up, he gave me this thousand-yard stare before answering my unvoiced question.
"There's a flock of flamingos at the 9th green disrupting golfers. He wanted permission to go out there with a shotgun and take care of matters, but sensed there might be... legal ramifications. So he called us."
I laughed. "Does that happen often?"
"Oh, we get calls like that a couple times a month."
Country clubs should be burned to the ground and their golf courses turned into community gardens i am 10000% serious
KAPOW!!!!!