I'm not too sure and I'm not too proud @awkwardpterodactyl - Tumblr Blog

What if it was actually Littlefinger and not Lightbringer and someone is just illiterate?

Also you can tell when people have had people be terrible to them cause they always try and include others. People who have never dealt with that don't even realize when they are isolating people.

You ever feel like everyone who talks to you is just wait for someone better to talk to?

I am boatloads of creative ideas, but no time or skill to execute them.

#creativity #lame #im a visionary in my head #hello #ideas #yep #no skill

Tipsy me watches the same TV episodes I watch all the time, but comments on them like I'm watching them for the first time.

#i did this with new girl #i also make sitcoms seem more intense than they are #tipsy rewatch #new girl #the office #parks and rec #the league #archer #how i met your mother

You: Fleetwood Mac makes repetitive songs sound good.

Me, an intellectual: None of Fleetwood Mac's songs are repetitive because the effortlessly change the drum beat and are constantly layering new guitar melodies with vocal harmonies.

#Fleetwood #mac #fleetwoodmac #stevie nicks #lindsay buckingham #mick fleetwod #christie mcvie #john mcvie #rumours

When James Brown, Michael Jackson, and Prince are dead, but you’ve ripped all of them off, so they just decide to give you a Grammy......

#the grammys are cancelled #the grammys fucked up #justice for kendrick #justice for donald glover #grammys got it all wrong #justice for kesha #justice for pink #justice for sza #justice for gaga #justice for lorde #justice for khalid #the grammys never give black artists their due #the grammys never give female artists their due #fuck bruno mars

Actually, I lied. Day 2 got easier once I got almond butter and some fruit. But it was impossibly hard when I realized I’m going to Philly on Thursday (aka the land of cheesesteaks, and pretzels, and panzarottis, and diners, and Wawas). I miss Wawa. What I would give to have their cannoli dip and mac n cheese.

#elimination diet #day 2 #philly #wawa #ill stick with iced tea #i hope my friend makes some vegan brownies

Yesterday was Day 1 of my elimination diet. In Phase 1, you cut out gluten, dairy, soy, and eggs. They should rename Phase 1 “Survivor: Grocery Store”, because both times I went to the supermarket I had to outwit the packaged foods, outplay other shoppers vying for the best produce, and outlast the urge to eat every cheese item or Lil Debbie snack I saw. Also because last night I had grilled fish and cornmeal mush for dinner, basically the only things, besides rice, that they eat on Survivor.

#survivor #elimination diet #day 2 is easier #fish tacos #dont like rice #rice moves #cleaneating #making my colon happy

anyone realize that the two bumbling, British officers in Pirates of the Caribbean, are just an older, British version of Drake and Josh?

#potc #jack sparrow #elizabeth swann #will turner #drake and josh #josh peck #drake bell #those boobs #emphasis

This is probably the best thing I’ve done.

#damon wayans #junior #barty crouch jr #barty crouch senior #new girl #Harry Potter #happy endings #my wife and kids #igor karkaroff #DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOLBET OF FIRE #hello father

Interviewer: What are your current goals?

Me: Well, at this moment I am aiming to spend an entire Independence Day dancing to Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA” on a city block, but that can happen any year.

Interviewer: Because there’s a 4th of July every year?

Me: No, because it’s a timeless ballad.

Interviewer: ...

Me: So...

Interviewer: It does excellently layer the carefree attitude that American desire over an allegorical tale of the need for expanding domestic capital. You’re hired.