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About gay dating apps

Okay. Been thinking about this for a long time and haven't found the right place to write about it. As an effeminate gay man of color trying to find love in this golden age of technology, I have encountered numerous - mostly white muscular cis men - profiles on dating apps posting: "No fats" "Vanilla only - no spicy, black or rice" and my personal favorite, "No fems" time and time again. Not gonna lie, it hurts. Especially when the media has fed me that "the one" is probably white (i.e. every Disney movie ever). Years have taught me that is not the case. Like, at all. I also came to realize that these men not only battle with inner homophobia, but are also super racist. Or are they? Racist I mean. The inner homophobia is a total bitch and lingers on you even at twenty five years old, I mean, I'm comfortable in my own skin, why the fuck am I not okay with my homosexuality?!?!!??!? But I digress. Just because this particular generic white man you see portrayed in every tv show, or movie, doesn't want to have sex with you doesn't make him a racist. He's just not into you. Stop playing the victim because he doesn't find you "pretty." What the fuck has he added to your life? Being hot? There are WAY MORE generic white dudes out there who are actually nice. And aren't you the racist one? Why do you only like white men? What is wrong with the other races? You are adding to the problem just because you didn't get your way with this dude who not only has rejected you, but has proven what a close mind he has about the world - and men. Please google if you don't know them: Idris Elba Mario Lopez Harry Shum Jr Rahul Kohli Zayn Malik Just to name a few famous people who can get it and are NOT white. Believe me, I get it. Dating sucks. Rejection sucks even more, but don't victimize yourself just because someone obviously attractive doesn't get hard when he looks at you.