I'm trying my hardest for you. And it's because you're worth it, it's because I won't abandon you like I've been abandoned. It's because I see you the way the Gods intended. I see you, not whatever you see yourself as. And I'll love you till death consumes me.
You're my most important person so of course I'm going to worry. After every time I feel I made a mistake, after every misunderstanding, after every fight, every argument, every tear. I'm going to feel as though I'm not worthy. My mind is going to want reassurance and it's not because you've given signs. It's because I'm afraid, I'm walking a path I haven't walked with someone. Trusting, being so close to each other.
Yes I'm going to want to have hope you'll still want to marry me after seeing the worst. Yes I'm going to want you to come to me for comfort. Yes I want to be on tour. Of course I'm gonna hope I'm the one you think about when you have your erotic thoughts. Of course I'm gonna pray for you and hope you think about me.
I'm going to need you to be patient. Right now we're both proving that every rose has its thorn. I'm not letting go even if the thorns tear my skin, I'll keep watering you, feeding you, helping you grow to be stronger. And I'm gonna hope you're not wanting my demise after we've had a misunderstanding.
I'm deathly scared, not of you, not of what you've done. I'm scared that my actions, what I've done when I'm hurt, tired, drained, overwhelmed, and scared. Have made you have thoughts of my unworthiness. If I'm gonna be honest, I don't know why you've stayed. I don't know what you see in me. And not because I hate myself, but because I've made mistakes.
With my own logical thinking, you don't mean me harm because if you did then you would've hurt me by now. You don't want to drain my money because you know I won't tell you no, yet you don't ask for it often, and when you do you don't ask for much. You don't want me to overthink because when you can you try to update me.
I don't know why you stay, I hope I'm worthy but I want you to feel these words when I say them. I'm going to make myself worthy of you. I'm sorry for my wrongs against you, just know I pray for you every night and I keep you in my thoughts.
