okay so for my comeback to tumblr I think I gotta come in w a bang and do an angsty type oneshot or continuation so likeā¦ maybe??? now I just gotta find out w whoā¦
ignore this I just need to get this out so I can come to terms w it (longish vent under the cut)
so I just realized something last night and now Iām quite literally going insane like Iām genuinely fr tweaking out bc see thereās this one girl that Iāve grown pretty close with and like at first I ofc knew I found her attractive she has a curly wolfcut thats like midlength she dyes every few months and sheās a couple inches taller than me (which is pretty rare bc Iām somewhat tall) and she has these pretty green eyes and a gorgeous smile and laugh and bro I genuinely cannot like itās hard to even look at her sometimes and her piercings make her even more yk like how can I not find her attractive??? her voice too bro (I might be whipped?)
but ok I need to get past that part of the vent or wtv this is but like we met through a mutual friend and at first we only talked to each other when the friend was there or in group settings but then like we started talking to each other like one on one and texting and hanging out and itās like not only is she attractive on the outside but her personalityā¦ we have similar humor and shit I really cannot like it feels like sheās charismatic without even noticing
I remember the first time she hmu at like 9 something at night and was like wanna play a buzzfeed quiz party and I was genuinely so confused bc I didnāt know that was even a thing but ofc I said sure and like I thought it was gonna be her me and the mutual at least but then we went otp and it was just us and I was like oh okay this is different! but i didnāt really say anything ab that and so then we just did random quizzes and talked for like a good 2-3 hrs or something and then I made some bs excuse for why I had to leave and like since then just on random days weād just do the same thing
and like this one time we were hanging out and I lowk wanted to watch this real madrid game that was happening at the same time (I keep up with soccer stuff I literally have the notifs on on my phone) but ik she doesnāt really care about soccer so I was just gonna watch it after we hung out bc this was like around noon or something I forgot but like I think she saw the notif (I need to invest in a new privacy screen mine is literally horrible) bc then she started like asking me about soccer and like it turned into us watching a little bit of the game tg???? like almost halfway idk bro
but like atp I didnāt like her like that or at least knew that I liked her (??) like that yet I just acknowledged her attractiveness but like thereās just so many things that she does and just ab her that gets me and now I feel like the relationship isnāt just platonic anymore yk?? it might just be the delusions idk but like I also think she might like the mutualā¦? ik the mutual has a bf now but like thereās just this vibe she has when the mutual is there idk
I donāt think Iām imagining it but I very well might be bc I constantly self-sabotage bc I have these internal conflicts when it comes to romantic feelings but like I just realized last night that I fr like her and itās really messing with me bc thereās a friendship here now and I genuinely cannot deal with potential rejection bc sheās just really nice to be around and talk with and I donāt wanna mess that up by having these dumb feelings for her
I feel like Iām just so all over the place rn and I feel so uncomfortable with the idea of talking to any of my friends ab this
went back on insta for the first time in like a month and saw the dance vids w taeyong bada uploaded now Iām working on some of my drafts thank you my wife for giving me motivation šš½
why is karina apologizing for dating someoneā¦ bro I was joking around but I swear some of these fans have such a seriously unhealthy parasocial connection to her like bro let her live and date who she wants she donāt even KNOW youā¦ I feel bad for her fr
yall where did that group rescene come from?? like genuinely bc the other day that one mv they put out came up on my youtube homepage and I like that classy concept theyre going for but like I genuinely dk this groupā¦ what label are they under?? have they debuted?? I have sm questions š§š½āāļø
that heartbeat drama on prime getting me mad like the mc girl just pushing every one of my buttons I canāt bro Iām trying so hard to like her bc sheās honestly an okay person but sheās getting me mad annoyed
I HATE how Iām actually on the same wavelength with h*wlā¦ tell me how I just searched for some chris brown angel numbers choreo to watch and that furry H*WL just posted a choreo class vid on the jj academy yt acc a day agoā¦ lord I canāt take this
just wrote a 500+ word acid trip of a myth on how one of the states were formed for my mythology class in less than 40 mins and it lowkey motivated me to start writing againā¦ potential comeback szn??? if I change my theme from my lover ryujin just know Iām in the works + thinking ab renovating my accountš§š½āāļø
donāt kill me bc ik Iām so late but I just fully finished s2 of sweet home and Iām lowkey confused on wtf just happenedā¦ like song kangās 5 seconds of screen time and that little girl that was literally birthed not even 3 months before looking like a 8yr oldā¦ also 3/5ths of the og lineup being dead bro jisuās death hurt me BADD š the bob on eunyu ate tho she fr carried the season!
me when one of the ppl I genuinely donāt like texts me and I have to act like thereās no issue whatsoeverā¦ like bro how can you cheat on your man with your BEST FRIENDāS MAN of all ppl that YOU got together atp youāre just evil and sick bc wtf
