----- 𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚡𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚒𝚐 𝚐𝚞𝚗 !! // this is an independent, selective and private blog for 𝙽𝙸𝙺𝙾𝙻𝙰𝙸 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙽𝚂𝙺𝙸 from cod zombies. this depiction is primarily based upon the dark aether / black ops 7 version of nikolai with some inspiration from ultimis and primis nikolais. 𝙰𝚂 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙳 𝙱𝚈 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝚈 ( she/they, 27, est )
carrd. pinterest. spotify. headcanons.
𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴𝚂 𝙰𝚅𝙰𝙸𝙻𝙰𝙱𝙻𝙴 𝙵𝙾𝚁: cod zombies, the walking dead, heated rivalry, baldur’s gate 3, dragon age, star wars. more available upon request !!
𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈 𝐀𝐌, a rabbit hearted girl. frozen in the headlights. it seems i have made 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐞.
an independent, selective original character 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍. as nurtured by mary ( 27, she/her, etc ) 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝟏𝟖+. triggering and sensitive topics will occur on this blog. alternate verses include the walking dead and a song of ice and fire with more to come.
----- 𝚂𝚆𝙴𝙴𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴𝙵 𝙵𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙳𝚂 𝙷𝙸𝙼. every risk he takes as a soldier is carefully calculated but the idea to kiss her was pure instinct. one that he feared he would regret but no. now, she is kissing him but with greater fervor. his lips part, beard scraping along her porcelain skin as he tilts his head. it has been years since he has kissed anyone like this. he couldn’t even remember the girl’s name.
his hands wrap around her waist, holding her almost possessively. fingers dig into her soft flesh whether to steady himself or her, he doesn’t know. probably both. he needs her closer. that’s all he can think of now. so he pulls her so easily into his lap as if she weighs nothing. the kiss breaks with a soft smack of their lips. his lips are wet, his already dark eyes nearly black with a look in his eye that is so foreign to him. complete and utter want.
“ you tell me to stop, and i stop, “ he says, in a low, gruff voice. nikolai is panting, if only out of sheer anticipation of what he feels might be coming. “ right now, i cannot stop. i kiss you until you forget your name. i touch you. i want to make you feel good, kotik. “
his pants are getting tight. that definitely doesn’t happen very often. he didn’t even know he could get hard anymore. he shifts her slightly, moving her hips upwards so she doesn’t feel it. yet. he doesn’t want to scare her off so soon if she doesn’t want to do this.
The gun is forgotten, bits and pieces clattering to the floor as it slips from lap. She settles atop his thighs now, digits still tangled within dark hair.
A warmth floods her, one that no fire Nikolai could make would ever compare to, and yet it’s still all his doing just the same. She can feel it pooling between thighs and part of her aches to be filled. The other part knows it’s a stupid idea… maybe they should keep their hands to themselves and their pants on… but they’re not promised tomorrow. They’re not even promised the next thirty seconds. Holly does not wish to die before she can feel his calluses graze her soft flesh.
Lips meld together in response to his words. It’s clear it’s a resounding yes, that she has no intention of stopping. Tongue swipes against his before pulling back just enough to speak.
" Then don’t stop. " Another desperate kiss is made, before again speaking. " Я не хочу, чтобы ты. "
——- 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚛. he gives her a smile, eyes heavy with the growing lust he feels. her russian is getting better. not perfect but he can tell she’s practicing. his hands, large and eager, begin to map her body. he doesn’t lean in to kiss her again. no, he wants to watch her. he wants to see how she reacts to certain things. like now, how his hands roughly grab her breast, squeezing. they fit perfectly in his palm even with the uniform on.
“ such perfect tits, malyshka, “ he smirks. his other hand returns to her waist, guiding her back down to full sit. there is no mystery here. he’s incredibly hard and prominent through his own trousers. he guides her in rolling her hips one time as an experiment. the way he feel her heat seeping through his uniform drives him crazy. he sinks his teeth into her neck for just a moment, sucking a rough kiss into the delicate skin. “ come on, baby… that’s it. take what you need from nikolai. or he can use fingers. or mouth… “
The press of his lips to her forehead does something funny to her heart. Butterflies swell in her stomach, the muscle pounds against her ribcage, and had it gone any faster she'd think she was having a heart attack. The kiss to her forehead was very much needed, soothing something within her, but the slight trembling of her hands do not cease. Digits grasp at the fabric of her trousers in an attempt to hide it, eyes fluttering shut. However when he pulls back, she forces them open once more. There's a beat, thinking of her response. And then-
Breath is completely stolen from lips as he leans in. It's unexpected, not something she had really THOUGHT Nikolai would do... however she is not complaining. Her cheeks feel hot beneath his touch, exhaling a very shaky breath after he pulls back. A moment passes as Holly processes what just happened. One blink, two. A nod 'yes' to his question.
" Yeah, it does. " Words are spoken hardly above a hush. Hands leave from fabric to wrap around the nape of his neck, pulling him in to press lips against his again in another kiss, though this time it had been a little more desperate than the last.
----- 𝚂𝚆𝙴𝙴𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴𝙵 𝙵𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙳𝚂 𝙷𝙸𝙼. every risk he takes as a soldier is carefully calculated but the idea to kiss her was pure instinct. one that he feared he would regret but no. now, she is kissing him but with greater fervor. his lips part, beard scraping along her porcelain skin as he tilts his head. it has been years since he has kissed anyone like this. he couldn’t even remember the girl’s name.
his hands wrap around her waist, holding her almost possessively. fingers dig into her soft flesh whether to steady himself or her, he doesn’t know. probably both. he needs her closer. that’s all he can think of now. so he pulls her so easily into his lap as if she weighs nothing. the kiss breaks with a soft smack of their lips. his lips are wet, his already dark eyes nearly black with a look in his eye that is so foreign to him. complete and utter want.
“ you tell me to stop, and i stop, “ he says, in a low, gruff voice. nikolai is panting, if only out of sheer anticipation of what he feels might be coming. “ right now, i cannot stop. i kiss you until you forget your name. i touch you. i want to make you feel good, kotik. “
his pants are getting tight. that definitely doesn’t happen very often. he didn’t even know he could get hard anymore. he shifts her slightly, moving her hips upwards so she doesn’t feel it. yet. he doesn’t want to scare her off so soon if she doesn’t want to do this.
----- 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚖𝚊𝚗, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝. maybe a younger and more reckless version of himself would have taken her in his arms, and let his mouth show her things unknown with words. but he is older, wiser and she is all he has in this world. he has no family to care for. the comrades he has made in the army are scattered to the wind, dead for all he knows. she is his precious gem in this sea of shit. he will be damned if he let his loneliess allow him to put the trust she has bestowed upon him in peril.
and yet… her hands enveloping his, a hopeful part of his heart wonders if she feels the little spark that ignites in his soul as well. its a part of him that wants to pull her into his arms and kiss her until she’s breathless. to whisper in her ear that no matter what happens, he will be at her side until she either grows tired of him or he dies.
he squeezes her hand in understanding, dark eyes meeting hers with a look of full earnesty. he cracks dirty or dark jokes often, but in this moment he is completely serious. “ there is no debt. in every universe, i will do this for you. i will do this a million times, even if it kills me. you… i have never felt this about another. english not good enough to express depth of it. just know, you are special to nikolai, “ he confesses. his hand raises to cup her cheek, to hold her gaze to his. “ what could i do to help sleep ?? you are exhausted. i see it. let me help you, malyshka. “
There is, once again, a hitch in her breathing as hand presses to cheek. It's her turn now, leaning into the warmth he offers, lips pressing to the meat of his palm. Had this been another time and another place, she would have marked him with her painted lips. But now she wonders, had this of been another time and another place, would he even give her a second glance ?? For Holly it's hard not to think about it.
Though he mentions every universe. Was there one where they hadn't met like this ?? Hands remain clean from blood, love coming not of forced proximity, but from a genuine place... perhaps even a family, had he wanted one. Heart aches for a different life, one where neither of them had to endure to survive. Or maybe she's getting to ahead of herself. Holly wonders if this was even love at all. She definitely feels something in the pit of her stomach, and this time it's not the dread.
A flush rises to pale flesh from cheeks to the tips of her ears. He should be no stranger to this look of hers with the things he speaks of and how easily worked up she gets, even without him touching her. Chest rises at inhale, tears threatening the brim of her eyes as she attempts to blink them away.
" I don't know, Nikolai. " She admits. " I am exhausted, but anxiety and fear of sleeping too hard is keepin' me awake. I'll just keep goin' until I can't anymore. But I'm okay. "
——- 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛. he hushes her softly when he sees the tears brimming in her eyes. decorum be damned. his other hand rises to her cheek. his lips find the smooth skin of her forehead, before grazing down her temple. “ we can stay like this as long as needed. or i can let you be. or we can finish your gun… “
his eye search hers for a long moment. so worried and anxious about the path ahead. he is too. he won’t admit it. he has to be strong for her. he needs to be her rock in this storm.
he doesn’t have words that he can give her definitively. he cannot promise tomorrow. he cannot promise safety but he can promise to stand by her side until they find what fate has in store for him.
so he does the only thing he can think of doing. his lips find hers. it is not demanding or rough. it is tentative, and so feather light as to not frighten her. he pulls back slowly, just an inch.
“ does this help you feel better ?? “ he asks, earnestly. “ or does this make it worse ?? “
Breath catches in throat this time as he pulls hand from the hunk of useless ( for the moment ) metal. The unfinished weapon brings her anxiety but lips pressed to palm quells it for the moment. Eyes have not torn from the gun held within opposite hand for quite a long time.
" Спасибо. " Accent is not quite there, though the sentiment is. Fingers fold as if to capture the kiss he had gifted her so delicately. It belies his rough nature, but she cherishes it just the same.
" I could not survive had you not helped me, Nikolai. " Holly feels bad about it !! And yet Nikolai has not complained an ounce this entire time. He had always been willing to be the one to get his hands dirty, diving in first when it came to it. It was more than the nurse could have asked for.
" I am unsure if sleep will find me t'night. I am eternally grateful, y'know. " Eyes finally tear from the gun to find his gaze, as sweet as it had always been when casting a glance upon her. Words were low, almost a whisper as if there were other ears to hear them, and she spoke them only for Nikolai. Hand leaves the unfinished weapon within her lap for the time being. It now joins the other, encasing his larger digits between two smaller hands. " Nothing I can offer you in this life will ever be able to repay this debt, I need you to know this. "
----- 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚖𝚊𝚗, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝. maybe a younger and more reckless version of himself would have taken her in his arms, and let his mouth show her things unknown with words. but he is older, wiser and she is all he has in this world. he has no family to care for. the comrades he has made in the army are scattered to the wind, dead for all he knows. she is his precious gem in this sea of shit. he will be damned if he let his loneliess allow him to put the trust she has bestowed upon him in peril.
and yet… her hands enveloping his, a hopeful part of his heart wonders if she feels the little spark that ignites in his soul as well. its a part of him that wants to pull her into his arms and kiss her until she’s breathless. to whisper in her ear that no matter what happens, he will be at her side until she either grows tired of him or he dies.
he squeezes her hand in understanding, dark eyes meeting hers with a look of full earnesty. he cracks dirty or dark jokes often, but in this moment he is completely serious. “ there is no debt. in every universe, i will do this for you. i will do this a million times, even if it kills me. you… i have never felt this about another. english not good enough to express depth of it. just know, you are special to nikolai, “ he confesses. his hand raises to cup her cheek, to hold her gaze to his. “ what could i do to help sleep ?? you are exhausted. i see it. let me help you, malyshka. “
Perhaps death would not be such a harsh thing in a world where all you're meant to do now is survive. Holly was not made for this, roughing it in old buildings, siphoning water where ever they could find it, hunting and cooking her own meal. She would not have made it this far had it not been for her Russian companion, one she had no doubt been wary of before, though he's proven himself time and time again to be a good man.
Fingers work diligently, metal scraping lightly against metal. She works well, but not with a quickness like Nikolai always had. She was trained in precision and accuracy, that much was true, and it came more in handy when handle the thing put together. When taken apart and attempting to reassemble it ?? She was no where near the skill level he had possessed. It often brings her a sense of dread. What if he hadn't been there and she needed him ?? Holly would have to make do on her own, though she hopes she will not be left alone in such a state of the world. Besides, Holly has need for Nikolai, just in other areas of... want.
He shifts closer. Her chest rises with a silent inhale, barrel slipping from frame as she attempts to reassemble it. That was very much his doing. The proximity, the good girl. Holly releases a shaky breath and immediately attempts to cover it up with the clearing of her throat. It doesn't help that he's so close she could feel the warmth of him even through their layers of clothing and those few inches of space between them.
" I think I'm getting faster at it. " Words are spoken, regardless of her fuck up at his praise. Holly won't ever admit it, but she'd do almost anything to hear that again.
----- 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚕𝚢. even nikolai, drunk and stupid as he is, can see the way her demeanor changes when he gets too close. her hands slip and he eases her. his hand reaches over, placing it upon her trembling ones. “ easy there, kotik. deep breath. i am not zombie. i do not bite… yet. “
there will be much more pressure if her gun gets jammed mid fight and she has to improvise. he knows she can do this. fuck, she’s a nurse. that is something he cannot do. he can kill and maim and terrorize his enemies like the red menace he is. he cannot heal or cure or be someone’s hope. at least not for anybody but her. she’s different. he’d do anything to be her hope. he watches her correct herself and the piece of metal slides easily into the right place.
“ i can see already. i need stop watch. next time, i will time you, “ he teases but he knows already the dread that would come from that statement. “ i tease you, kotik. “
but, is he teasing ?? his hand hasn’t moved. it still rests covering hers, his finger tips tracing the soft milky skin of her wrists. “ you are very brave. braver than nikolai. you will outlive us all, Мой маленький выживший. “
a beat as he raises her hand, lips pressing against her palm in a brief kiss. “ it is dark now. long day of killing hell pigs tomorrow. will you sleep ?? “
----- 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 !! these are probs gonna be put in queue alongside memes! multis, pls specify muse. also lmk if there is a specific verse you'd like to use.
——- 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛. in every circumstance, he finds himself mesmerized. don’t get too attached, he tries to remind himself. the girl will end up dead one of these days knowing his luck and once more he will be wandering these streets alone with one more reason to drink himself into the grave. if there is a god, he sent nikolai an angel and that’s why he stares.
they sit in a bombed out building. he built the fire low, just enough to give them a bit of light and a bit of warmth. not big enough to catch the attention of any zombies limping past. he watches her hands doing exactly as he taught her.
“ take care of gun and gun takes care of you. “
he tells her that often and it seems to have stuck with her now as she cleans her firearm. her fingers are small and soft whereas his are large and calloused. two entirely different circumstances but fate has brought them here.
he takes a swig from his bottle of vodka. he is nearly to the end of it. tomorrow, he will make a point to find more. “ mm… you are good now, malyshka. not much more and you will have no need for nikolai, “ he comments. he moves a bit closer, sliding up beside her to focus in on the way she is reassembling her firearm. “ good girl. just like nikolai taught you. “
----- 𝙹𝚄𝚂𝚃 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚄𝙶𝙷𝚃𝚂 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙽𝙸𝙺𝙾𝙻𝙰𝙸 !! since i did an exploration of niki's psyche, i figured i would write a more dirty nsfw headcanon post just for silly fun times. so, if niki were to get laid, what would he be like ??
𝟷. 𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙. while i think he wouldn't want to ask for help per say, i think he wouldn't mind a little guidance. he tries his hardest though. in fact, he has a wicked amount of enthusiasm even if the technique isn't all the way there. (he actually has a quote of that in the game. it's more about enthusiasm than technique.) yeah, he is sucking on the labia majora (sorry for the medical term. idk what else to call it) but he's making love to it with his mouth. if he just moves his head a little bit to the right, he'd be good as gold.
2. 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚜. this is just a personal headcanon based on one of his perk up quotes. "fingers faster than brain. perhaps always were..." bro doesn't need help in the fingering department. yeah, he might need you to show him where you like to be rubbed but when the fingers are inside, he's suddenly knows exactly what to do.
𝟹. 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚎𝚝. at some point, niki says he is quiet and stable unlike his family. there is not a planet in this universe where nikolai knows how to shut the fuck up. he talks dirty in your ear (might not even be good dirty talk. he just says whatever comes into his head) and bro is grunting. when he finishes, it's feral. it's loud. it might be uncomfortable, but you will know he enjoyed it.
𝟺. 𝚑𝚎'𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚛𝚢 (𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝) 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎. when i say almost anything, i think he has a hard time being submissive and being degraded due to his self esteem issues. he'll kind of take it to heart. he will absolutely not have anything near his butt. he's had a few bicurious encounters but in those instances he was always the top and it was never any kind of penetration. he just closed his eyes and decided to pretend it was a girl. always decided in the end he is definitely a straight man.
𝟻. 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜… niki is around 6'1 in the dark aether. he definitely has muscle but the muscle is under the dad bod. he kind of has the best of both worlds where he has that dad tummy but you can tell he can lift. he is very hairy. basically a rug on his chest, hairy arms, hairy legs, hairy back, hairy ass. there is no point manscaping either. it's just gonna grow back the next day. ... as for lil nikolai... well, and if i said a solid 7 inches uncut with girth... yeah, now what?
𝟼. 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚢. right here is the kink tier list...
----- 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢, 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚝. 𝚕𝚎𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚔𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚒 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚡 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎. or should i say, nonexistent sex life. you can kind of piece together how he views sex, his romantic life, his relationships with other people in general and how he views himself with small comments he makes throughout the black ops 7 levels. ( i do take some inspo from interactions from other games, but for now, i am just going to focus on black ops 7)
𝟷. 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐. he admits in a voice line that he doesn't have any sort of romantic life at all. in past versions of nikolai, he was once married (but unfortunately his wife died). this nikolai is very single. i don't necessarily believe he wants to be single or at least he doesn't want to not have any luck if u catch my drift. when he uses his voice lines such as - "is most intimate nikolai has been in years" - he sounds very downtrodden by saying it.
𝟸. 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕. a lot of it is due to his experiences in war, especially his ptsd and his connection to the demon toor bala. he unfortunately got a lot of trauma in afghanistan that really changed how he views building relationships with people. he has voice lines with carver and takeo that basically explain how he doesn't like people getting too close to him anymore. he's lost too many people and in a realm of never ending horror, he doesn't want to get too attached to people. kind of circling back to more of the root of his difficulties forming relationships, he also had a pretty difficult childhood where he didn't really have a normal bond with his family. his family, besides his mother, would often ignore him. he had a good relationship with his mother though! but she died :( along with everybody else in his family who were killed at a family wedding.
𝟸. 𝚗𝚒𝚔𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚒 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚖. while sometimes he big talks himself, the root of his issue is he thinks very poorly of himself in actuality. a lot of this stems from his experiences in afghanistan and what he deems as a personal failure with his experience with toor bala. he doesn't find himself particularly smart. he beats himself up quite a bit when he doesn't do well at something or he fails at something. on the other hand, he also just doesn't like how he feels in his body. he calls himself a cockroach. he calls himself ugly. he says he's bad at quite a few things. he also makes some fat jokes about himself. i feel like he is constantly putting himself down.
the only romantic experience that nikolai specifically talks about (at least with bo7 niki) is he mentions his first kiss with a girl named katerina. he speaks about it quite sadly so it can only be assumed that it ended pretty badly.
anyways... this is just a little drabble. i honestly might uhhh... write a more positive nsfw headcanon post but i feel like its fun to explore his psyche. he masks everything with dark humor so its interesting to read between the jokes.
i think about niki's sorry excuses for dirty talk all the time. i need someone to fuck him for me so your muse will cringe through the whole thing and then tell him its never happening again.
----- 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝙰𝙻𝚆𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙸𝙻𝚈𝙰 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝙷𝙸𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶. always texting some girl. maybe american ?? he wasn’t so sure. but he had caught glimpses of his phone and it always seemed so vague. the messages unnatural in nature like a code. and then the new york raiders won the cup and scott hunter kissed a man on television. the russian hockey scene was disgusted by the display. nikolai couldn’t judge. 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚊𝚖 𝚒 𝚝𝚘 𝚓𝚞𝚍𝚐𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚗'𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚜 ??
it had clicked with him then, after seeing ilya’s reaction to scott hunter. 1+1=2. 2+2=4. ilya + jane= jane is a man. he kept this to himself, this realization. he could be wrong. he could just be reading into things that didn’t necessarily need to be read into. and yet… he does.
because now he is sat at a bar in moscow. the vodka goes down smooth. so much better than what he’s given in america, canada, or wherever they need him overseeing ilya. svetlana sits beside him, drinking something of her own. some cocktail. he’s known her as long as he’s known ilya, which is handful of years now.
something has changed lately with her. she doesn’t seem herself. “ tell me if i am wrong, “ he breaks the silence. “ but ilya seems changed. i get it, his father died. but there is something more to that. alexei told me he has not heard from ilya - “ a deep exhale. “ cannot say that i am too surprised by that. but have you heard from ilya ?? or is he with jane ?? “
its so interesting to see how many people are writing asoiaf now. maybe i do am asoiaf verse too? it low key makes me wanna revamp my stannis baratheon blog that i made and never touched but my hyperfix is on niki atm so i gotta lock in
its hard for me to choose a house for niki... i think its more realistic for him to not come from a noble house and for him to be a mercenary like bronn. i feel like he and bronn would get along so well.
