⌗⭑︰❝ 𝕮ᵃʳᵐʸ 𝕭ₑₐᵣ ❞ ⊹₊

¿ǝɯ ɥʇıʍ ɓuıʞɔnɟ noʎ ǝɹɐ ʎɥʍ penned by korv | ( mdni )

[b3rzatt0-a]

You're watching the fire, and you're thinking, 'if I don't do anything this place will burn down and all my anxiety will go away with it.'

literate portrayal of Carmen Berzatto from The Bear

all information about muse is here in the carrd.

follows from @whiskeyk1ller ( please read the carrd )

NAVIGATION | PLAYLIST

No amount of good is worth how terrible this feels

filter used on pfp, banner, and pinned is lilac ink by kaijucatrph. all graphics and dividers made by @korpsekorvid. if seen elsewhere, they're stolen!

[whiskeyk1ller]

had to remake carmen a new blog because apparently the other one is shadowbanned so excuse the spam if you happen to see any from him

@b3rzatt0-a is now archive and @b3rzatt0 is his new one!

[b3rzatt0-a]

@stmoon sent 🛀 + 🧖‍♀️🧖‍♂️ + 😏

it’d been a long shift at the bear, a rare day where sydney wasn’t on the roster, and it showed. carmen was exhausted, dirty, and ready to collapse into bed. he wanted to see syd first.

he’d shown at her door, and she’d taken one look at him and steered him to the bathroom. the bath she’d run was nice, warm around his aching limbs. a luxury he would have never afforded himself. the air was scented with whatever she’d put in the water, a light sheen on the surface.

his curls were dark and dripped with water where they hung around his head, eyes captivated by sydney’s figure.

“joining me?” he asked quietly, as she stripped her clothing off. each article of clothing revealed soft skin to his eyes, his hands itching to touch but he keeps them pressed to his thighs.

[spookiesmausoleum]

Send 🌶️ for a nsfw headcannon about my muse

Or send 🌶️ + a word / question for a specific one

[b3rzatt0-a]

@stmoon sent ☎️

for a long time, carm just stares at his phone. he wants to, no needs, to call her. hear her voice on the other side, know that she hasn't... that she still liked him, juvenile as it is.

taking a deep breath, he finally hits call. the phone rings. and rings. and rings. long enough that he thinks it's going to go to voicemail, or ring forever, that she had abandoned him. just like mikey.

when it finally picks up, and he hears sydney on the other side, he almost cries.

"syd...hey." carm tries to cover the emotion in his chest with a simple enough greeting. it's not effective, such as his voice wavers.

[stmoon]

sunday meant sleeping in and doing nothing, but syd had never been good at staying still. she was contemplating trying her hand at braiding her own hair for once, just to keep busy and give herself something to do. she considered her options while she manned a pot, stirring idly the phone buzzed on the counter top, derailing the train of thought rather quickly as she saw the name that populated on the home screen.

"hey baby." she managed to answer after fumbling the device, nearly pitching her cell phone into the pot of bubbling broth. she hadn't been expecting a call from him, or anyone for that matter. not that she minded. she was still getting used to this— and realizing the world wasn't falling apart around them. it wasn't always going to be an emergency or disappointment on the other end of the line. she smiled when he said her name, but it wavered right along with his tone.

"sorry, i was simmering stock. making some soup for sug." she pressed the phone to her ear, holding it in place with her shoulder as her hands busied themselves again. sure and steady as they stirred, her tone soft and even. "miss me already?"

[b3rzatt0-a]

baby. it zings through him like lightning. the fear, self—doubt, and anxiety bubbling in his chest simmers and calms, soothed at her words, her voice, the fact he is hers. because that’s what that means, isn’t it? he is sydney’s baby.

“always. you know i’m nothing without you.” little bit of self—deprecation leaks through, though he believes every word. carmen is very easily a wreck if not for syd’s steady presence. he takes a drag on his cigarette, exhaling long and slow. the smoke clings around his head.

“i’m sure sugar will love that, she’s been busy with the baby.” and isn’t he just an awful brother that he hasn’t gone over to help her yet? carm makes a mental note to see if he can tag along when syd delivers the soup.

“just called to hear your voice. you doing okay?” it’s more than that, and he takes a deep breath, finally calming. carmen hates getting like this, feeling like a bad person, bad partner, letting the anxiety overtake his rational thinking. he’s never known how to not be this way. he’s lucky that syd indulges him.

[b3rzatt0-a]

@stmoon sent ☎️

for a long time, carm just stares at his phone. he wants to, no needs, to call her. hear her voice on the other side, know that she hasn't... that she still liked him, juvenile as it is.

taking a deep breath, he finally hits call. the phone rings. and rings. and rings. long enough that he thinks it's going to go to voicemail, or ring forever, that she had abandoned him. just like mikey.

when it finally picks up, and he hears sydney on the other side, he almost cries.

"syd...hey." carm tries to cover the emotion in his chest with a simple enough greeting. it's not effective, such as his voice wavers.

[b3rzatt0-a]

for a long moment, probably close to a full three minutes, carmy is silent as he stares at sydney. she doesn't seem to notice, drunkenly fumbling through her bag as she is, but the silence stretches until it's uncomfortable. he turns her words over in his head, lets them tumble around, files their sharp edges down on his thoughts. the ones he has to keep to himself every damn day.

Carmen does know that he touches her. too often, painfully aware. it's like she is a force and he just a magnet, helpless to resist the pull. He likes to know sydney is here, that she hasn't tired of him, decided he wasn't worth the effort.

She stares at him touching his mouth and wonders what it would feel like on hers? He's constantly touching his mouth because he imagines her lips on his. he wants to devour her, arrange her like an offering on a platter, and feast. god, what a pathetic pair they make.

"can i kiss you?" it's out of his mouth before he makes the conscious decision to ask, startling him up off the floor where he was sprawled. fuck. carm is never drinking around sydney ever again, this was a horrible idea.

[stmoon]

the moment stretched, yawning and aching and growing. heavy. sydney would have noticed, the salient blanket folding over her, but her attention was in the depths of her bag. rummaging. focusing on the task so she didn't freak the fuck out. spilling her guts to her friend, or whatever the fuck he was. the lines had blurred too long ago, their tethers tangled like shoe strings she tripped over constantly. she could barely tell her up from down when it came to them. her hands fumbled around the fabric, pushing aside the odds and ends that filled it to the brim.

"aha!" her fingers wrapped around the stem of the bottle, yanking it out of the bag with a cheer of triumph. she held the whiskey up to the light. bourbon. some mid-range double oaked reserve. a profile of dark chocolate and caramel and marzipan and—

she blinked, brown hues moving from the alcohol to him. staring in that way she usually did, except without fear of being caught this time. carmy seemed just an unmoored as she was, surprised by his own question. for some reason, the thought of him being thrown off by her in the same ways he rattled her made her smile.

"please." fuck, was that weird? it wasn't like she was begging to be kissed. okay, maybe she was. was she breathing? she fought the urge to bring a hand to her chest to check, shaking the thought from her mind as she leaned closer. her tongue darted out, wetting her lower lip, tasting the whiskey that stained the two-toned flesh. the bottle rested on the floor next to her hip, feeling heavier, the bag already long forgotten. something about his features in this lighting made her stomach flip. she should have been used to him being this close, but her heart still rattled at the proximity. "i mean. yeah. yes..."

[b3rzatt0-a]

his eyes tracked her tongue, mesmerized by her mouth. taking a deep breath, he lifted a hand and placed it lightly on her cheek. her skin was warm. this close, he could smell whatever products she used in her hair, and the whiskey on her breath.

“okay.” carm said simply. both in response to sydney and a reassurance for himself. okay, he was going to kiss her. he was terrified. his heart was racing, and he felt sweaty, but he wasn’t going to check if it was true.

one last look over her face, making eye contact for a second with a shallow nod, just barely a dip of his chin. then his eyes slipped closed and he crossed the last miniscule inches of space between them.

electricity zapped up carmy’s spine, adrenaline coursing through his system and making his limbs numb. he was kissing sydney adamu. her lips were soft, pressed against his, just a chaste kiss at first, skin to skin. then he tilted his head so his nose slid along hers until they fit together, exhaling. his hand moved to cup sydney’s jaw instead of holding her cheek, sucking her bottom lip between his own. she tasted like whiskey.

carmen thought he was going to die. his head was fuzzy, from the alcohol or the experience, he wasn’t sure. his chest felt tight and he couldn’t breathe.

abruptly he pulled away, heaving for air. between the alcohol and the kiss, he’d thrown himself into a panic attack.

[pansyfemme]

sorry for displaying suicidal tendancies do you still think im hot

[calisverse]

SPICE GIF BASED PROMPTS / MEMES PART TWO.

spice and nsfw roleplay meme based around gifs detailed different situations. send a number and a couple (ff / mm / fm), receiver will write a starter based around the gifs sent. this meme is nsfw and contains graphic sex*al content, do not interact with this if you are a minor. gifs were found on google images and searches.

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

FF / MM / MF

[sugar-and-spice-roleplay-memes]

Send ☎️ for my muse to call your muse.

Specify for multi muse blogs

[loveridden1999]

i have that dog in me. you know. the losing one

[ierjmovjch]

richie's eyes are open when carmen kisses him, something awkward about himself he'd never been able to really control, although they quickly close after something inside breaks then. like a dam he'd been building within himself finally burst when carmen's teeth knocked into his in some sort of desperation, a wordless ‘don't abandon me’ written into the kiss so deep he could almost feel it.

he knew what a don't-leave-me kiss felt like, he'd been the giver of one too many times to count.

while carmen panicked, richie was calm, steady under the younger's white knuckled hold on jacket lapels. there was no water to be tested, no way to tell where the lines started and when they were okay to be crossed, so richie kissed carmen back with the same eagerness he presented, going so far as to reach a hand up and tangle it in his blond curls already.

not pausing for a moment to push carmy away and berate him.

the hand on his cheek remains there, used as leverage to get carmy closer to him, like richie was trying to swallow him whole with his larger figure. fingers grasp at his jaw as he kisses him, murmuring his name once and pulling away to mutter, "i'm not gonna," before kissing him again. "i won't leave."

one more time. lips pressed wantonly against carmen's, nose crushed into the curve of his cheek. kissing hard, not caring to make this moment tender or sweet. not yet at least. he has carmen pinned between the countertop and his own body, disallowing the other's escape. he almost feels as though he should be guilty for wanting this, he should comforting carmen, consoling him, not tongue kissing his dead best friend's little brother—

god, he's pathetic. still. he thought he went through some growth. god forbid a man has a little backslide.

[b3rzatt0-a]

carmen gasps into the kiss, despite initiating it. somehow he had expected richie to shove him away, curse him out, leave. this isn't what they did. they fought, and yelled and even spent hours hanging out just being friends. richie was carmen's best friend. but they didn't do this.

god, this was better than carmy had pictured. imagining since he was old enough to notice other people and decided richie was what he wanted.

tears coated his lips, made the kiss salty and bittersweet. it was perfect. carmy gave as good as he got, pressing into richie until he couldn't breathe, nipping at his lip and sucking on the sting. richie's words are like a balm on his soul, a soothing touch on shredded nerve endings. not an ending, not a beginning, just there. richie was here, and he was kissing carm like he wanted to live inside his skin.

he let richie shove him against the counter, moaning pathetically. his hands gripped rich by the hips, pulling him in until carm could grind their lengths together.

"fuck." his head tipped back, separating their lips, eyes squeezed shut as he moved. it felt so good, something he hadn't experienced in god knows how long. carm wasn't one to indulge in his own base desires, and he didn't do one-night stands. this was the closest he's gotten to any action in... years.

the fact it was richie made him feel on cloud nine.

"come on, touch me. not gonna break." he whispers between them, needing richie's hands on his body. he resolutely ignores that they are in the kitchen, of their workplace, which is borderline open to the public.

[b3rzatt0-a]

[ txt: syd <3 ] oh. probably the van.

[ txt: syd <3 ] i'm not dignifying the rest of that with a response

a minute long pause between texts

[ txt: syd <3 ] ... there's no one in the office?

[stmoon]

[ txt : 👼🏼 ] heard [ txt : 👼🏼 ] i think we are far beyond dignity, but sure [ txt : 👼🏼 ] yup [ txt : 👼🏼 ] everyone already left... it's just me... all alone... [ txt : 👼🏼 ] i already took of my shirt btw [ txt : 👼🏼 ] so don't take too long

[b3rzatt0-a]

[ txt: syd <3 ] oh.

suspiciously long pause

[ txt: syd <3 ] if you heard the pots falling in the kitchen no you didn't

[ txt: syd <3 ] it was a ghost or something

[ txt: syd <3 ] coming

the thought of all that pretty skin on display strikes carm stupid, tripping over his own feet. he has to take a minute to compose himself before he can go over to the office. his dick is rock hard in his work pants, simply the idea of getting to witness such a gorgeous woman like sydney has him worked up. fuck.

he stands in front of the door for longer than is necessary or appropriate, before he knocks. knocks like some kind of idiot.

"syd? it's carm." who the fuck else would it be, carmen? sorry, he doesn't want to startle her. and okay. maybe he's fucking nervous. he hasn't been with anyone in a long time, and sydney is someone who's always felt unattainable. especially for a guy like him. very gently he opens the door, stops dead at the sight of her.

[stmoon]

✶☾ previously on , ft. @b3rzatt0

[ txt : 👼🏼 ] typing... [ txt : 👼🏼 ] typing... [ txt : 👼🏼 ] um wow okay that was [ txt : 👼🏼 ] dude you know that like... there's no one in the office right now except for me? [ txt : 👼🏼 ] just saying that could definitely fix one of your issues.. maybe both [ txt : 👼🏼 ] the question was if i should take the train or the van for the next floral pick up... didn't realize that heated discussions of transit options got you off [ txt : 👼🏼 ] or was it the flowers? you can be honest. this is a safe space [ txt : 👼🏼 ] even i can admit saffron are kinda sexy

[b3rzatt0-a]

[ txt: syd <3 ] oh. probably the van.

[ txt: syd <3 ] i'm not dignifying the rest of that with a response

a minute long pause between texts

[ txt: syd <3 ] ... there's no one in the office?

[b3rzatt0-a]

✿

( @ierjmovjch )

send ✿ for my muse to send your muse a suggestive text!

[ txt: richie ] when he wears those suits it makes me wanna climb him like a tree [ txt: richie ] and yet SOMEHOW the 'dirtbag' look is HOTTER? [ txt: richie ] fuck. fuck. disregard. i was NOT talking about you btw

[ierjmovjch]

[ 📲 carmen bear ] ;; should've said to my face back then instead

[ 📲 carmen bear ] ;; i still have a lot of those shirts btw. wear em when its laundry day

[ 📲 carmen bear ] ;; youre cute as hell in your aprons

[b3rzatt0-a]

[ txt: richie ] i am not- fuck you [ txt: richie ] do you wear them on request...

[ierjmovjch]

[ 📲 carmen bear ] ;; on request and for a price. of course. i don't do deals without getting paid.

[ 📲 carmen bear ] ;; some of those shirts are really tight too

[b3rzatt0-a]

[ txt: richie ] what the fuck are you on about? [ txt: richie ] i said you're hot and you're trying to get me to PAY you??? [ txt: richie ] fine i guess your dick will suck itself

[greymvs]

when i say "the big 3" this is exactly what i mean

[b3rzatt0-a]

📲 when are u closing

📲 should stop by my house. after

( @ierjmovjch )

[ txt: richie ] the same time as always? [ txt: richie ] why?

[ierjmovjch]

[ 📲 carmen bear ] ;; okay then come over after work. im not feeling up to snooze

[ 📲 carmen bear ] ;; or don't idc

[b3rzatt0-a]

[ txt: richie ] you're still acting weird [ txt: richie ] sounds like you do care [ txt: richie ] i'll be over