i feel like a shit person but at the same time i don't for not being here that is. i feel excluded from people, and it's no one but my fault. i have pushed close and even not so close friends away, and i am sorry. i am going through a really rough break up right now. 3 and a half years with someone you love so deeply and now it's over. he was a big part of my life, i keep forgetting he is gone. i look at little things and think “oh he’d love that” but remember he’s not apart of my life anymore, and it hurts. i am sorry, i am ranting but i don’t have many people to talk to, and i just need to write something to slightly explain my out of the blue absence, and i i need to write to get things off my mind. i am sorry i haven’t been here and i hoping i can start my new character today, get some muse into him/her and pour my emotions out through my character. i hope everyone is doing okay. /:











