[iemergedoutofthewater]

This is a website

[gondwana]

[imcompletelylost-deactivated202]

I’m a simple person: I hear a groovy bass line, I listen to the song 2359521706437821 times

[naidje]

what if his neck just did that?

[torturelabyrinth]

If only there was some kind of law the USA could pass to stop people from getting randomly shot with a gun in public. Ah well . My crazy unrealistic dream

[fairy-faggot]

Calling cumming "finishing" is fine and all but like...we are not finished though. The bell does not dismiss you, I dismiss you. Sit back down.

[ur-daily-inspiration]

lifeonthe_ranch_

[spacehippieface]

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

FINE! I'll do it myself

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

Why did 12 people reblog this today??? IT IS ONLY AUGUST!!!

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

I see it is once again August 😮‍💨

[justyoureverydaytwstsimp]

August reblog ☺️

[tzikeh]

Close enough

[salvadorbonaparte]

"on god's green earth" is way too fun to say even when you don't believe in god and know most of it is blue, actually

[hangsawoman]

me at the convent: no god for me thanks i'm just here to fuck the nuns

[redstonedust]

i think if i was a biillionare i simply wouldnt be a billionare. like id buy myself everything i could ever need and give the rest away. idk why someone would need to sit on so much money like girl. use it. youre not gonna be alive forever.

[thethirdromana]

There is nothing that makes me feel dirtier than going, "well, this is a bit of a weird pairing, but I can't be the only freak, I'm sure it exists on AO3!"

And then it doesn't fucking exist on AO3.

[thethirdromana]

Post without tags? Tumblr, babe, there is only one thing I could be tagging this as and that is the pairing in question, and now I know it's just me, I will be tagging it with my credit card number, expiry date, CVV and mother's maiden name before I do that.

[veryluckyclovers]

[cometcrystal]

they dont even seem happy its like theyre just fucking with her out of obligation

[fairycosmos]

[bumblebeebats]

This was genuinely what it was like growing up in New Agey circles btw, my mum's friends would come round like "So I went out to the woods this weekend and fasted and meditated and I had a vision of the Sacred Stag and all my guardian angels and I asked them how to find love and they said that I need to focus on my own healing first and stop repeating cycles of the past" and then the very next week it'd be like "So I'm back with James again" girl..... the Sacred Stag could not have been more clear....

[transgenderization]

Uh oh! The Oracle has killed herself rather than face the future she foresaw. Market analysts are speculating this may be bad for the economy

[stormsbourne]

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

[tibli]

tbf to the body, stomach bugs are easier to flush out since they are already in The System That Flushes Things Out From The Body, and that includes BOTH ends.

with a cold you gotta wait for the macrophages in your blood to start Eating Everything, and they are. not big. it takes them a while. please be more considerate of your macrophages in the future, theyre doing their best

[sasuke-offical]

what the fuck i’m paying osmosis jones the big bucks for then ?