hello! i don’t know if i’ve ever actually introduced myself here & if i have it’s been years so here we go again:
hi! i’m kat & i’m a 24 year old lesbian ෆෆෆ
basic rules & info:
this is a lesbian sneeze kink blog, so minors do not interact!
also, this is a side blog, so i don’t like / follow from this account!
more below the cut :)
fics:
h/eated rivalry: i’ve written a few h/eated rivalry fics & am working on more (slowly but surely!) you can find these tagged under #lavsnzwrites . you can also find them under #h/eated rivalry but i include posts in there that aren’t just my fics so if you’re specifically looking for my writing search #lavsnzwrites
ocs: i’ve written a few fics but it’s been YEARS but if you want to find my writing it’s under #my fic, #paisley oc, or #rowan oc. i can’t promise everything is under #my fic but everything is under their names (or it should be, but who knows if i did that). i don’t know if ill write them again i think that era is over
wavs: i’ve also posted a few wavs, which should be under #my wav or #my wavs
asks: asks are so welcome about pretty much anything (as long as you’re not mean, please don’t do that lol). i’d love to chat & answer any questions about me or anything like that! i love chatting & can yap forever so please do not be scared to use my askbox, i love when people do!
dms: i’m open to most dms! i can be a bit awkward so please don’t take that personally if i am. i do however draw the line at men dming me, i will not respond to those if i receive them. thank you for understanding <3
likes: sneezing, allergies, colds, & most things that go along with all of that!
dislikes: emeto. i cannot do it whatsoever my emetophobia is so awful. i carry tums & zofran everywhere i go because i can’t handle it lol
i think that’s it for now but if anything comes up i’ll add to this!! i really love this community, i’m so happy to be here 🤍
the first time shane lets himself make a mess with his sneezes is after he tells ilya about the kink & his honeymoon rhinitis. ilya is violently into the kink & tells shane he wants him to make an absolute mess of himself. he induces shane & tells him to show him how horny he is, how turned on he is by ilya & shane of course indulges him because he can’t so no to ilya. he doesn’t cover or try to minimize his sneezes. he truly lets himself go for the first time. this all leads to the best sex of their relationship thus far
the first time shane lets himself make a mess with his sneezes is after he tells ilya about the kink & his honeymoon rhinitis. ilya is violently into the kink & tells shane he wants him to make an absolute mess of himself. he induces shane & tells him to show him how horny he is, how turned on he is by ilya & shane of course indulges him because he can’t so no to ilya. he doesn’t cover or try to minimize his sneezes. he truly lets himself go for the first time. this all leads to the best sex of their relationship thus far
i think ilya is so sweet with shane’s nose once he learns about shane having the kink. gives it so many kisses & will wipe it for him after sex because shane’s honeymoon rhinitis can get a bit messy. he holds tissues to shane’s nose & has shane blow & at first shane is so embarrassed but ilya coaxes him into doing it with sweet words & more kisses. he catches shane’s sneezes into tissues as well because he knows shane prefers when his sneezes are covered even though ilya doesn’t care
i think ilya is so sweet with shane’s nose once he learns about shane having the kink. gives it so many kisses & will wipe it for him after sex because shane’s honeymoon rhinitis can get a bit messy. he holds tissues to shane’s nose & has shane blow & at first shane is so embarrassed but ilya coaxes him into doing it with sweet words & more kisses. he catches shane’s sneezes into tissues as well because he knows shane prefers when his sneezes are covered even though ilya doesn’t care
ilya never really used tissues, he only did when his nose truly made a mess or he had to blow it. he always kept at least one box in his apartment / house, but didn’t stock up. for better or for worse, he sneezed into his cupped hands, so tissues weren’t on his mind, until shane
shane, being the polite sneezer that he is always sneezes into his elbow & will even try to sneeze into a tissue if he can get one in time to cover his sneezes. if he can’t get a tissue to sneeze into, he grabs one immediately after to clean up his nose and to softly blow, even though his nose isn’t usually a mess after sneezing
ilya picks up on this without shane having to say anything & starts stocking up on tissues for once. he keeps a box both on his night stand & the night stand on the other side of the bed. he has tissues in the living room & also the bathrooms for easy access
shane asks ilya about the sudden influx of tissue boxes & ilya explains that they’re for shane because he prefers to use them. shane gets extremely horny about this & they proceed to fuck about it
hi!! just wanted to say we miss you over here and i hope you’re doing alright!! sending so much love your way!
oh my gosh aren’t you the sweetest!! thank you for this it made my night!! knowing someone cares enough to miss me being on here is just so kind i did not realize i am an account that can be missed !!
tiny update: doing okayish. i’m once again dissociating into my phone during this surgery recovery, my screen time has been crazy lol. unfortunately i am dealing with lots of post surgery nerve pain. my leg feels like it’s constantly on fire & literally nothing is helping it which is making it hard to be horny because pain which leads to me not being on here as much. truthfully i am mostly on here when im horny & can have horny or fandom thoughts which is hard to do while i’m in pain because ouchie! pain!
i had a few hr fic ideas a few months ago & now they have vanished, so if anyone has any ideas pls send them my way. need to practice my typing so i can up my speed for law school so maybe writing fic will help lol
thank you again for checking in angel, i so appreciate it!! 💖
second surgery was almost 2 weeks ago & it went well. i seem to be on the path towards healing. i know i said i would maybe write during recovery, unfortunately i have only written scholarship essays & cold linkedin dms. i have also gotten a kobo so ive been using that as well. once upon a time there were ideas in my brain. i just need them to come back
anyway this is a proof of life message if anyone cared LOL just realized i haven’t been on for like half a month oops
Little late-night posting for @lavsnz. I wrote this while watching my team go down 0-2 in the playoffs 🫠 I can’t will my naive positivity into being anymore, we are screwed
—
On a freezing cold evening in Ottawa, Shane Hollander pressed a tissue to his nose with a sniffle and rolled his eyes at the TV screen. “Jesus Christ,” he said as Colorado gave the puck away to the other team for the third time in the two minutes since overtime had started.
Ilya came into the bedroom, and Shane was unsurprised to see that he was barefoot and wearing a black tee and sweats. One thing Shane had learned since he and Ilya had started living together was that Ilya would not allow the weather to impede upon his personal style. As in, he wouldn’t wear a long-sleeved shirt in the house unless he was sick or icicles were growing out of his nostrils.
Ilya gave him a knowing smile. “You just cannot stay away from work even when you are sick, hm?”
Shane turned his attention back to the screen and shook his head as Colorado tried to capitalize on a sloppy line change by Arizona. “These guys have no fucking clue how to play three-on-three.”
“Mm. Not every player can be you or me. Too bad for them.” Ilya stood next to Shane and stroked a hand through his hair, wincing as the Arizona goal went in on a wraparound that the goalie should have easily stopped.
“You can say that again,” Shane muttered, automatically leaning into his husband’s touch.
“Wow. You are very polite at chirping.”
“Yeah, well, not always.”
Ilya raised a brow. “Oh?”
Shane felt a flash of annoyance at his amused face. “Yeah. One time, Scott Hunter—”
“Oh, right, I saw that. It was adorable. You looked like angry kitten.”
Shane scoffed. “Fuck off.” He ignored Ilya’s chuckle and looked back at the screen. Two grown adults in the crowd were fighting over a stick the goalie had tossed over the glass for one of their kids.
Ilya sat down next to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “My grumpy little kotik…”
“Fuck off.” Shane shut the TV and turned to smush his face into Ilya’s chest, sighing happily when Ilya wrapped his arms around him in response.
“Your color is much better,” Ilya said. “How are you feeling?” He pressed a kiss to the top of Shane’s head.
“Better,” Shane said with a sniffle. His nose definitely felt less blocked up. “Glad I’m not on Colorado.”
Ilya laughed at that, and Shane grinned as he felt the vibration from the sound against his cheek. “My Shane is such a hater.”
Shane was about to say “fuck off” for a third time when the tickle that had been bothering him for days flared back up in his nose. “hih-!” He started to get up when Ilya tightened one hand around him and used the other to gently maneuver his head back to his chest. “Ilyaaah! hih! hip’schhh! hdt’shiew!” He felt himself blush as he sneezed directly into Ilya’s shirt, his failed attempts at stifles coming out in wet bursts that just felt so…cold-y. “hIDT’schiew! ISshuhhh! hy’ISHHhhiew! snf! Fuck—ISHhuh! I can’t— ISHHhhoo! Fucking stohhhp,” he said, adding another, “hy’ishoo!” for good measure.
“Wow, bud’ zdorov, lyubov moya,” Ilya said, sounding surprised. He released Shane and passed him some tissues. “Your cute little nose is still so full of sneezes, sweetheart.”
Shane had taken in a breath to blow his nose, but he paused at Ilya’s words and felt his entire body shiver. How—how—could this huge fucking hockey player with the physique of a Greek god and the personality of a rambunctious golden retriever with the zoomies say the sweetest and most tender things to him? God, it stopped him in his tracks every single time. (Also, this kind of talk made the part of Shane that enjoyed sneezing perk up - in more ways than one. Ilya knew just what to say to get him to melt AND want to fuck. He had quite the gift.)
He’d just let Shane sneeze into his fucking shirt, then been so gentle and attentive with him. If Shane Hollander was expected to be polite, then Ilya Rozanov was expected to be an asshole, and this was not asshole behavior.
Shane knew that better than anyone.
“I love you,” he said, pride and gratitude seeping into his voice. Ilya looked a little confused at Shane’s intensity but kissed his forehead and told him he loved him, too. Now that Shane knew what love felt like, he never wanted to let it go.
He lay back down against Ilya’s chest, then jerked his head away. “Wait. Ew. You should wash this shirt.”
“Later. After we take a nap.” Ilya started to lay down, but at Shane’s horrified face, he said, “Fine, fine, I will put Shane Germs Shirt in the laundry.”
When Ilya came back from the laundry room, Shane was blowing his nose softly and wincing at the popping it caused in his ears. Ilya noticed his look of discomfort and said, “Are you all right, sweetheart? Can I get you anything?” His beautiful blue eyes were full of worry and of love, and it made Shane forget his pain.
He shook his head. “Just you,” he mumbled sleepily, patting the bed so Ilya would lay back down. Ilya complied, and the two held each other close as the snow fell outside their bedroom window.
Wrote this in a feverish (not literally) three or so hours. Can’t stop won’t stop with these sneezy hockey guys. (If you’re wondering why I’ve come out with a lot of fics over the last few months, the answer is too much free time, which I am VERY grateful for, but I would also like a full-time job and more money, please, library hiring people. 🫠) This is based on @lavsnz’s prompt, which I have been thinking about for days, that kink!Shane is too shy to blow his nose in front of Ilya until Ilya <3 encourages <3 him <3 to <3. Also inspired by one of my all-time favorite fics by @bigsnzstanacct, which permanently altered my brain chemistry in the very best way. :)
cw: slight NSFW, dom/sub vibes (haven’t written it much before, I hope it’s turned out okay!) Also sorry for the stupid-long intros 😅
———
On a warm summer day at the cottage, Shane decides he’s had enough with the wobbly deck chair he’s avoided fixing for the last two weeks. He can’t concentrate on his book without feeling like he’s going to topple over the moment he breathes in a little too deeply. Ilya, who’s been lounging in the sun next to him (and who probably needs more sunscreen soon), lifts his sunglasses and gives Shane a questioning look when he crouches down to inspect the chair leg.
“Loose screws,” Shane mutters, and heads over to the boathouse for some tools. He hasn’t been inside this room for at least two summers except to grab the jet skis, and the moment he opens the door he’s greeted with a threatening glitter of dust floating throughout the room. Shit. He really, really wants to fix that chair. Even though his nose is already twitching with a warning.
The tools are neatly organized and labeled in drawers, but Shane is having trouble seeing through the tears in his eyes. He coughs once, twice, three times, the sensation making his nose buzz and his eyes burn, and he hastily grabs from the drawer that he thinks says “Allen wrench” and holds his shirt over the lower half of his face.
He stumbles out of the dusty room, opening the door to the shining light of the sun, and—
“TSCHHHhiew!”
The sneeze is louder and stronger than Shane’s regular, and it wrenches its way out of him before he even has time to cover. Before he can get embarrassed about how the sound echoes a little across the trees, he’s gearing up for another…and another…and another. “TSCHHhh’yuh! HDT’SCHhhh! hyih…! hy’IDTSCHhhh’iew!” Leaning against a birch, Shane allows the sneezes to overpower him, hoping that they will clear his nose of all the dust lodged within.
“Shane?” Shane opens his eyes and blinks the tears away to see Ilya walking towards him, a little clumsy in his sandals on the forest floor, looking concerned. “Are you okay?”
“I…hehh…” Shane wants to reassure Ilya that he’s just peachy, nothing to see here, but his traitorous body does the talking for him. He folds down into his elbow, turning from Ilya as best he can before the sneezes strike. “hyy’ISHHhhuh! -ISHHhhuh! ish! ISH! ish’hew!”
Ilya is murmuring something softly, putting a hand to Shane’s back and guiding him back to the cottage as he keeps sneezing in little “ishh’hew! hy’yishhh!” clusters. “Bud’ zdorov, sweetheart,” he’s saying, which is soothing for Shane to hear and helps him feel better about the tears and snot dripping down his face.
When they get back inside, Ilya hands over an entire box of tissues. Shane is barely able to pull a few out before he’s burying his nose in them. “hy’ishhhoo! ahh’schiew! ahhh-chooo!”
Ilya is behind him, rubbing his shoulders in gentle circular motions. “Bud’ zdorov, bud’ zdorov, bud’ zdorov. Was there too much dust in that room, lyubov moya?”
“Y-y…-cough!-…yeah,” Shane croaks, voice somehow shot to hell. He takes a big breath in to blow his nose, but then he remembers. Ilya knows.
This kink that he’d managed to hide for so long…Ilya knows about it now. He knows Shane’s deepest, darkest secret. And while Shane is thrilled about that, and thankful for how accepting (and accommodating) Ilya is, he’s still…shy about a few things.
For one, the word “sneeze.” Something about saying it out loud is embarrassing. When Ilya is the one saying it, especially in the context of indulging Shane (“I hhhahhve to sneeze, Shane”), it’s the best. But it feels awkward on Shane’s tongue, like he’s saying something filthy out loud in front of his teammates or - god forbid - his parents. Shudder.
But also…blowing his nose. It’s one of his very favorite parts of his kink: seeing someone grab some tissues and blow out the itch and congestion in their nose? Wondering if the sound they make will match their personality or be wildly out of character? Ilya has, in Shane’s opinion, the perfect nose blow: loud, unabashed, and thorough. It’s so so so hot.
But Shane? Something about the naked vulnerability of blowing your nose in front of other people makes him cringe. He just can’t do it. Even in front of Ilya. Why does he love so much when Ilya does it but wants to hide away when it’s himself? He’s never been able to wrap his head around it.
And so now, he sniffles back his congestion and decides to simply rub at his nose despite the fact that he could really use a good blow. He hears a “mm?” near his ear.
“Do you not need to blow your nose, Shane?” Ilya murmurs.
Shane doesn’t think his face has ever been any hotter than it is right now. “Wh-what?”
“Your nose,” Ilya says, walking in front of Shane. “Isn’t it very stuffy?” He searches Shane’s face. “Bastard dust.” He runs a hand down Shane’s burning cheek. “I do not like that it did this to you. Are you okay, lyubimyy?”
“I…uhh.” Shane is frozen in place, hypnotized by Ilya’s low, sweet voice and the gentle way he’s cradling his face in his palms. He’s also trying to ignore the sensory nightmare that is the trickle of moisture threatening to make its way down to his Cupid’s bow. He sniffles again, and thickly.
“See, there,” Ilya says. “You are sniffling. You should blow your nose, sweetheart.”
How is it that Ilya looks both worried about Shane and like he knows ex-fucking-actly what he’s doing?
Shane shakes his head. “No.” It sounds more like “doh,” and it makes him blush even more.
Ilya laughs. “Why not?”
Shane shakes his head again, but brings up the tissues he’s holding for another firm rub.
“Shane…” Ilya says, and Shane can see the wolfish hunger in his eyes. “You are…too shy to blow in front of me, aren’t you?”
Ilya wants to win this game. Shane will not comply. “Doh,” he says again, starting to walk away. But then Ilya has his arms wrapped around his chest, holding him in place. “Ilya,” Shane growls.
“Yes, yes, you are very fierce. You also need to blow, Shane.”
“I’b goidg to murder you,” Shane says.
“You are being very cruel, dorogy. You should listen to your very smart boyfriend. He knows,” Ilya puts his lips back near Shane’s ear, “that good boys do what they are told.”
“Oh…” Shane can’t stop the breathy sigh from escaping him. Ilya’s body around him is warm, and the slight pressure he’s putting on Shane’s upper half feels so good, and Ilya is doing what he does best: turning Shane the fuck on.
“Are you going to be a good boy for me, Shane?”
Shane can’t manage anything but a strangled, “hmnrghh.”
“You are not very good at using your words, Shane.”
“You’re an asshole,” Shane says, then moans when Ilya moves his hands to his waist. He barely registers that his nose is leaking. He sniffles once more, involuntarily.
“Ah, see, there are those sniffles again. Not very good for you. You will feel better if you blow,” Ilya says, then takes the tissues out of Shane’s hands and cups them to Shane’s face.
Shane is sure that this will be the moment his heart finally stops.
“Don’t you need it, Shane? After all those cute little sneezes of yours…don’t you need some relief?”
Shane whines, then takes in a huge breath and blows his nose. It’s not loud, but it’s not quiet: it’s snuffly and long and it makes him cough a little at the end. Ilya rubs and pinches the tissues around his nose with such care that it makes Shane want to fucking cry. He turns to face Ilya, who is looking at him with adoration in his eyes and his smile.
“You were so good, krasivyy. So good for me.”
Shane launches himself into Ilya’s arms and they fall together onto the couch, lips locked, tissues flying in the air, Shane’s allergy attack forgotten.
someone not caring if they get sneezed on by their partner is sooo intimate ive been into it lately for that reason. like not in a particularly gratuitous or messy way, theyre just always Close and touchy its bound to happen with their partners general sneeziness. like theyre so gross and domestic that a misdirected sneeze is like. something to be paid no mind to. they are both covered in eachothers Being as a whole anyway
after shane tells ilya about the kink at first he refuses to blow his nose in front of ilya & if he has to he’ll do it only partially. it takes ilya holding him hostage in a cuddle & coaxing him to fully blow his nose because he knows shane needs to, & whispering small praises about how good shane is once he’s done it