there’s just so much that’s so wrong with society’s views and attitude towards fat women that you don’t realize affect you until they do like. it’s 6 year old me thinking a classmate in the same dress is prettier than me because her dress is a smaller size. it’s 16 year old me being secretly pleased when a man catcalls me because it means that he finds me attractive. it’s 21 year old me feeling like i need to send a disclaimer to any man on a dating app so they know what i look like before they meet me. it’s my dad saying “you look good, have you lost weight?” when he hasn’t seen me in a while. it’s my ex friends telling me how brave they think it is that i wear a bikini to the beach. it’s practicing how to sit and stand and hold myself in a way that makes me appear smaller and more compact than i am. it’s being afraid to take up space. it’s the assumption that fat = unhealthy and thin = healthy. it’s the survival of the phrase “you’re not fat, you’re beautiful!!” it’s the desire to have thick thighs and protruding hips and large breasts but not wanting the stomach and love handles that come with it. it’s the fat actress always playing the comedic best friend. it’s the few, so very few, love stories with a fat romantic lead being centered around weight loss and body image. it’s the popularity of the biggest loser. it’s the concept of a revenge body. it’s the need for fat women to be femme and fashionable to be slightly accepted. it’s flat tummy teas. it’s thigh gaps. it’s waist trainers. it’s everything the kardashian jenners push and advocate. it’s all around us and you don’t realize it until you realize it and then you can’t stop realizing it.
