BaconBits @baconbroderick - Tumblr Blog

osakaxkobe

monkeysaysficus

Me making perfectly round meatballs

hyrude

when mitski said “be the cowboy,” this was the cowboy she was talking about

juicepleaze

@asltwas

reallybadblackoutpoems

the raven (1845) - edgar allan poe

actual-mothman

op change ur fucking url

weonsinnombre

brosefvondudehomie-deactivated2

They really like chicken I guess

pileofknives

We need the fucking vaccine

sedlex

teatops

JDHSKXHSK I’M LOSING IT OVER THIS

kickerofelves

newkidsonmycock35

ugh i love jean grey

fairytale-villain

wrathofthegiraffe

I want a reimagining of Hamlet that is completely faithful to the original except that Hamlet is replaced with Craig Middlebrooks from Parks and Rec.

nicoleanell

this is my friend Horatio and HE DROVE ME HERE.

chrisisoninfiniteearths

Is… is this not basically what Hamlet is like?

smoretime

@ofgeography

ofgeography

QUEEN GERTRUDE Alas, he’s mad!

HAMLET

OSRIC You are not ignorant of what excellence Laertes is–

HAMLET

GHOST Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder.

HAMLET Murder!

GHOST Murder most foul, as in the best it is; But this most foul, strange and unnatural.

HAMLET Haste me to know’t, that I, with wings as swift As meditation or the thoughts of love, May sweep to my revenge.

Ghost I find thee apt; And duller shouldst thou be than the fat weed That roots itself in ease on Lethe wharf, Wouldst thou not stir in this. Now, Hamlet, hear: ‘Tis given out that, sleeping in my orchard, A serpent stung me; so the whole ear of Denmark Is by a forged process of my death Rankly abused: but know, thou noble youth, The serpent that did sting thy father’s life Now wears his crown.

HAMLET

sashayed

FIRST PLAYER

….But if the gods themselves did see her then When she saw Pyrrhus make malicious sport In mincing with his sword her husband’s limbs, The instant burst of clamour that she made, Unless things mortal move them not at all, Would have made milch the burning eyes of heaven, And passion in the gods.’

POLONIUS

Look, whether he has not turned his colour and has tears in’s eyes. Pray you, no more.

HAMLET

sashayed

GUILDENSTERN

Good my lord, put your discourse into some frame and start not so wildly from my affair.

HAMLET

sashayed

HAMLET I loved Ophelia: forty thousand brothers Could not, with all their quantity of love, Make up my sum. What wilt thou do for her?

KING CLAUDIUS O, he is mad, Laertes.

QUEEN GERTRUDE For love of God, forbear him.

HAMLET

ofgeography

HAMLET To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, ‘tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: there’s the respect That makes calamity of so long life; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely, The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay, The insolence of office and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscover’d country from whose bourn No traveller returns, puzzles the will And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all; And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pith and moment With this regard their currents turn awry, And lose the name of action.–Soft you now! The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons Be all my sins remember’d.

OPHELIA Good my lord, How does your honour for this many a day?

HAMLET

ofgeography

HAMLET O God, your only jig-maker. What should a man do but be merry? for, look you, how cheerfully my mother looks, and my father died within these two hours.

OPHELIA Nay, ‘tis twice two months, my lord.

HAMLET So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for I’ll have a suit of sables. O heavens! die two months ago, and not forgotten yet? Then there’s hope a great man’s memory may outlive his life half a year: but, by'r lady, he must build churches, then; or else shall he suffer not thinking on, with the hobby-horse, whose epitaph is ‘For, O, for, O, the hobby-horse is forgot.’