these are the things we lost in the fire

caroline | 19 | she/her | anthropology major | pre med | emt | icon by fluidpansy.

[boota]

do people actually preheat their ovens

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

this is the worst post i have ever fucking seen

[hammerfelll-deactivated20220522]

this is such a fucking power move

[rubyredwisp]

Maisie Williams’s cute “date” to the Emmys (x)

[rubyredwisp]

Peter traded his Emmy for Maisie’s date

[linguisticjubilee-deactivated20]

[mouldysushi]

He looks so proud of it

[weeniebagel]

welcome to anti chickfila. we love gay people, our food sucks, and were only open on sundays.

[fleetnaturals-deactivated202110]

every gentrifier-owned bagel shop in Boston

[lexlexpdx]

Middle aged man, walking with an open pocket knife, trips on a wire, and inadvertently impale himself with the knife. Alert, oriented, no neurological deficits, small amount of venous bleeding (blood in the picture is clotted). Trauma system entry straight to OR. The knife was found to be penetrating 13 mm into the temporal lobe. Missed any major structures and vasculature. 45 minute surgery. Got to see him the day after, and he is walking, talking, absolutely no neurological deficits. He is one lucky son of a bitch.

[emergency-nurse]

this absolute bastard.

[skeppsbrott]

So this has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it three days ago.

[toastoat]

this is the polar opposite of Everybody Knows Shits Fucked

[bebeocho]

i didn’t know this til i looked up the video on youtube, but this dude is a super cool and accomplished musician! his name is Rushad Eggleston–wikipedia describes him as “an innovative musician who has changed the way the cello is played,“ but according to his personal website he’s a “cello goblin & otherworldly jester currently touring earth” 

[thoughtportal]

Happy Labor Day. Today I learned about probably the first strike to happen IN SPACE.

[belligerentbagel]

“We would never work 16 hours a day for 84 straight days on the ground, and we should not be expected to do it here in space.“ 

The day when three NASA astronauts staged a strike in space (Hiltzik, LA Times)

[anarchetypalarchive]

so i’m riding the elevator up to my apartment when the emergency phone in the elevator starts ringing 

and i just stand there for a second because this thing is like thirty years old and has never rung or even been used from what i know

but eventually i answer it thinking maybe something’s wrong with the elevator?? it’s an emergency phone it’s probably an emergency??? i dunno

except i shit you not it’s a telemarketer 

a telemarketer that’s as confused as i am when i finally interrupt him mid-spiel to inform him he has the wrong number and then interrupt him again to explain further that “uh, no, seriously, this is an elevator phone. i’m standing in an elevator. talking to you. on the emergency phone. i really think you got the wrong number”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“yeah,” i say.

there’s some mutually-confused silence.

“so, this is my stop,” i say. “i gotta go.”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“good luck,” i add, because telemarketer guy seems like he’s having an existential crisis. and then i hang up on him, because he’s having an existential crisis and won’t actually end the call, and because again i’m talking on an elevator emergency phone and, you know, this is my stop, i gotta go.

[solardrake]

Fuck dude! I’m purble

[pokemonsnap]

[automodownremade-deactivated202]

guy who invented wine: dude this grape juice is still good

[nitrosplicer]

This picture of a bunch of college kids trying to keep from getting busted by the police is like something from a baroque painting

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

   I just drove my uncle and myself to the hardware store, and he said to me “Molly, I want you to know that being Catholic doesn’t change anything. If you someday get married, your wife will be welcome in this family. Don’t ever think otherwise.”

  That is really nice, but I am not gay???

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I’M LAUGHING SO HARD. SPOILER ALERT 2012 ME; YOU’RE SUPER FRICKING GAY.

[flawlice-deactivated20160906]

war boys be like ‘oh shit who brought fucking death death’

[gemstone-enemas]

#moon moon will ride eternal

[purpleprosegang-deactivated2022]

[focussoup]

I can’t believe I just saw a post referencing moon moon in this the year of our lord twenty-eighteen

[lynati]

Bold of you to assume the lord is present this year.

[mirrirr]

I’ve seen people speculate about this in fics and meta, so…

It isn’t every day that the U.S. military feels obliged to respond to a crazy fan theory, but when it happens, you can be sure it’s probably about Captain America.

When a fan took to Reddit with a theory about Captain America’s active-duty status in the U.S. military, he calculated that it would be just over $3 million that he would be owed for the 66 years he spent frozen in the ice before he was thawed out to join The Avengers.

The Army actually quibbled a bit with his math, saying that not only would Steve Rogers be a candidate for back pay, but that if he were to be awarded it, he would likely get significantly more than the poster had counted.

“If Capt. Steve Rogers (aka Captain America) were not a fictional character and the circumstances surrounding his disappearance and recovery actually real, he may actually be entitled to receive back pay,” Army spokesman Wayne Hall told The Tribunist. “However, a wide variety of variables would have to be taken into consideration to actually calculate the true amount of back pay to which he would be entitled to receive.”

Hall indicated that any promotions that might have been bestowed upon Rogers would also have to be taken into account.

[X]

[feliciates]

“However, a wide variety of variables would have to be taken into consideration to actually calculate the true amount of back pay to which he would be entitled to receive.”

I’d love to see a bunch of Military paymasters hashing this out, with the most anal one screaming, “They didn’t cover, ‘frozen in ice for 70 years’ in the rule books!”

[attndotcom]

A brilliant explanation of consent for anyone who STILL doesn’t get it. 

[bolontiku]

Never not reblog

[cake-warrior]

Starbucks Barista: you ok?

Me: I’m fine

My brain: I wonder if people realize that the book of Leviticus was not written by a person, but actually dates to the time when the Greeks were dominating the Mediterranean and spreading their culture to the places they traded with, which included public baths and same-sex relationships, which the Levites of modern-day Israel couldn’t allow because they believed that they were the descendants of Levi, descendant of Jacob, whom God himself referred to as “Israel” and were therefore the chosen people that HAD to maintain their ancient traditions, so they introduced the Code of the Levites (aka: the Book of Leviticus) which included a contradiction to every single Greek custom to scare the descendants of Jacob from marrying any Greeks or attending public baths — meaning that people of the United States of America — the first free and modern democracy — have political platforms and personal opinions about homosexuality that they think is founded on the word of God, but in reality stems from a set of laws that were designed to prevent Jewish men from taking baths with Greek men

[xelbleedsglitter]

My surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on Tuesday that I’d be down and out for about two weeks. 

My brother: TWO WEEKS? Holy shit.

Surgeon: Well, consider this.  She and I just had a knife fight.  And I won.  Because she was asleep during it.  

My brother: Oh.  Yeah, okay, that’s fair.

[tinsnip]

Your surgeon sounds fucking hysterical.