Bay ay ley!

Names actually Bailey. Uh, just so you know. I work as a mechanic at the best shop in Lima, the Hummels! Flick me a message if you want me to change your oil, or something?

[baileyythomas]

Text > Bailey

Sam: dude

Sam: as soon as i learn how to do math your title at raining darts champion is SO mine lol

Bailey: wait why do you need to learn

Bailey: our phones have calculators bro. but you're never going to beat me. I am the KING.

[baileyythomas]

thekittywilde​:

You know I would… But I’m not four years old anymore, so soz, that’s a pass from me. 

theres no reason you can’t! age is just a number, right? 

but if you really want to pass on all of this fun, thats your call! 

[baileyythomas]

huclarington​:

I’m sure the people who raked said leaves were very pleased their work was entertaining for you.  

Unfortunately, running and jumping both are off the list of recommended activities for me for the foreseeable future.

oh shit. i didn’t even think of that. do you think theyll be mad I ruined their work? should i go back and rake them again? 

what happened bro? did you pull a hammy? i did that during squats once it HURT. 

[baileyythomas]

themarleyrose​:

Oh my gourd, i still can’t be-leaf iI’m saying this but humpty dumpty isn’t the only one having a great fall. It’s okay if you hated those puns, I have like twenty more fall puns but I’m told smaller doses are safer. Though, jumping in the piles is a close-ish second to stomping on the leaves and hearing the satisfying crunching sound.. Right behind corn mazes and pumpkin carving though of course…

i love them! bring on more fall puns, people autumn- know how good they are! that one definitely wasnt as good as yours. youre gonna have to teach me how to make good ones! I dont know- if you jump in the pile its like a MILLION crunching sounds at once. 

[baileyythomas]

lizzieparker​:

IT SOUNDS REALLY FUN I’M IN. I don’t have a backyard T_T BUT i could know someone who does. maybe, pretty sure. I’M EXCITED

you dont have a backyard? even i have one. its like 3 square feet, its a balcony, but it counts! can we borrow their backyard?? would they let us?? 

[baileyythomas]

lizzieparker​:

ME. PICK ME. 

you really don’t mind? i promise it’ll be total fun! i want to hit all the major parks in lima, and maybe someones backyard? do you have leaves in yours? 

[baileyythomas]

text| Puck

PUCK: NICE

PUCK: wait, like, two different people, or two rounds with the same one?

Bailey: TWO PEOPLE. i was super nice. i didnt even need to change myself!

[baileyythomas]

you know whats the best part of autumn? leaf jumping. I went for a run today and I found like FOUR piles! it was wicked! does anyone want to go on a leaf jumping marathon? 

[baileyythomas]

text| Puck

Puck: nice, man! just be confident. you've got this.

Puck: oh! and tell her she's not fat. chicks eat that shit up.

Puck: what do you mean, how they work? you just say "yo wanna smash"? and they'll tell you yes or no. it's pretty easy.

Puck: then again, i am like way hotter than you, so....

Bailey: BRO. i got caught up and im only getting back to you now.

Bailey: guess what

Bailey: I got laid

Bailey: TWICE!!

[baileyythomas]

🧠brainless bailey🧠

CAT: exactly, and you get to spend the night too

BAILEY: Wait. Thats not a real law, is it?

[baileyythomas]

🧠brainless bailey🧠

CAT: Want to visit the precinct? Maybe have a go at the handcuffs? I'll even let you sit in a cell

BAILEY: wait like, going to jail for being too funny?

[baileyythomas]

🧠brainless bailey🧠

CAT: Why??

BAILEY: to get to the other side!

BAILEY: I think its just the funniest.

[baileyythomas]

👻BAILEY BOO👻

Andrea: I just get my regular Ben and Jerrys ;-;

Andrea: You're hired for the night~

Bailey: Ben and jerrys is good! but it gets no gains.

Bailey: WICKED. A job! I'll come over then? do you want me to bring my fluffy blanket :)

[baileyythomas]

🧠brainless bailey🧠

CAT: tell me a joke

CAT: other than yourself

BAILEY: why did the chicken cross the road?

[baileyythomas]

👻BAILEY BOO👻

Andrea: DO YOU WANT TO BE MY CUDDLE BUDDY? ;-;

Andrea: I'm so lonelyyyyy

Andrea: What does protein ice cream taste like?

Bailey: HELL YEAH. Im a GOOD big spoon. its the strong arms.

Bailey: you can get like, any flavour but i got chocolate. so its like chocolate ice cream but you get GAINS.

[baileyythomas]

🧠brainless bailey🧠

CAT: are you a himbo?

BAILEY: those are good right??

BAILEY: id add the word bro in. HIMBRO!

[baileyythomas]

👻BAILEY BOO👻

Andrea: I'm being a lil burrito right now, ;-;

Andrea: It can be better if I've got a cuddle buddy but otherwise, yeah~

Andrea: How about you? 😊

Bailey: A burrito? EPIC. i could so go for being warm and toasty like that

Bailey: wait wait. Did you know, I am good at cuddles?

Bailey: I'm good! I had a wicked sunday catching up on brooklyn nine nine and eating protein ice cream