By example. Telling people "you can do it" is what in my country we refer to as "armiamoci e partite"(let's go and take the guns then you will go fighting - more or less). Gender conforming women who are in women-dominated fields that tell girls to get into STEM is... Quite laughable, because the next question is "if we can do it, then why didn't you?" As a teen that was my thought process at least. It's kind of hypocritical. Idk if I explained myself.
Parents have the biggest role imho, especially fathers(in my case it was him at least lol). My dad taught me how to use a pc when I was like 4 or 5, I've learned how to fix an electric switch, I know how to do a lot of house maintenance. My dad is also the one who used to watch Star Trek with me as a kid, especially Voyager and it's science women there. The Scully effect is real: showing positive examples of women in STEM to girls works.
Another thing is a lot of times we focus on how much men are horrible to women in male-dominated fields instead of celebrating the women who are successful in them, giving supportive advice and helping them thrive. This doesn't mean to never discuss these things, but imagine that you're 16, you open social media and you read over and over how women have it bad in STEM. This does discourage people.
No one wants to pick a career that social media describes as "you'll get sexually harassed all day long until you're 60, you'll be discriminated against and you'll have everything stolen from you". These things do happen, don't get me wrong. But it's very rare to see the positives in working in these environments, or in general, to have a more balanced viewpoint, or even better, what to do if it happens to you.
I also quote you on sexism being a bar in these jobs btw, frankly the worst sexism I've experienced for being a woman in STEM was during elementary and middle school, and this is never addressed properly in my experience. The perfectionism mandated to girls is a gigantic barrier for women interested in STEM. Girls don't get to understand that talent isn't real and that sometimes you need to try over and over to find a solution to a problem, which leads to many many girls to self-exclude from these subjects.
And even if you are good at it, you'll still get discouraged. For example: I had a B in algebra without ever opening a book all last year of middle school. I didn't study, I didn't do anything, but algebra comes natural to me, so I was good at it.
I still got told I suck at math and that computer science wasn't for me, which wasn't real lmao.
Also yes, girls only clubs and activities help a lot, but I've never personally experienced that so idk.
Edit: another thing that got me inspired in the comments is about tools. I do/did (I don't have the time at least) some woodwork with my husband. My dad taught me how to use tools, and there's this false belief that you need physical strength to use tools, which isn't true in my experience (but I lift weights). You need to understand safety, and you need to have respect for the things you're using because if you don't then you'll get injured. But in general, tools have been invented to actually make things easier for humans. Tools are yes designed with male hands in mind, but with practice and patience (safety first always) you can learn too.
Another thing: when I do electronic repairs having small hands and less strength actually means I'm less likely to fuck things up, so take this as you wish.
Unfortunately I think with the whole "pink collar" bs and girl math going on we backtracked so much from when I was a kid. I still got called a boy on the regular, but I didn't get bombarded with messages about how much I'm not a woman from various angles.
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