Baltimoregal's tumblr

I am a bad blogger. And I'm not any better at this than I am at blogging.

[fbdirectory]

[baltimoregal]

[catchymemes]

[baltimoregal]

Tattoos are MUCH cheaper, as well.

[oneweekoneband]

Modest Mouse - Missed the Boat

I have to admit that until now I sort of wrote off We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank as a decent but forgettable Modest Mouse album, but for the life of me I’m not sure why. Maybe I thought the addition of Johnny Marr—who admittedly kicked ass in The Smiths—would overwhelm MM’s sound, or the pseudo-nautical theme that is a reoccurring, and equally disappearing, thread throughout the album, or maybe it was just that MM is evolving into a band very different than their LCW-era days. And maybe none of those reasons had anything to do with it. In fact, there’s a pretty good chance I hadn’t even heard the full album until yesterday.

We Were Dead is a very, very good album that doesn’t live up to the relatively unbeatable standard set by their previous output. It’s hard to overlook this fact but I also feel it’s unfair to judge the album purely on that basis. As I was listening to the album, I was surprised how much I enjoyed songs that I previously had written off and how many songs that seemed to be completely new to me. The album certainly has its dips (“Florida,” “Fly Trapped in a Jar,” “Steam Engenius”), but it also has some highlights that showcase everything that’s great about MM, like “Dashboard,” “Fire It Up,” “Parting of the Sensory,” “Little Motel,” and finally “Missed the Boat” (on a semi-unrelated note: MM is one of the few bands who consistently picks great single cuts). Despite the new additions in the studio and the most “indie” (in the mid-00s sense of the term) sounding album to date, We Were Dead is pure MM in the sense that I can’t conceive of any other band making this album. We Were Dead was released in 2007 and it’s an album that—I don’t know how else to say this—MM gets to make. If they’re making material this consistent fifteen years into their career, God speed little doodle (I had to throw a Simpsons reference in here somewhere eventually.)

“Missed the Boat” concerns finding joy and happiness in an unplanned life and is another in a line of MM songs that seem to speak directly to the fears and insecurities of directionless youth. People who are naturally “looking towards the future” but are “begging for the past”; people who got “caught looking at somebody’s else page”; people who “listened more to life’s end gong/Than the sound of life’s sweet bells.” “Missed the Boat” doesn’t wallow in its own shit; it admits that even those good times “never seemed to last,” they still happened and they carried those bad times “all so well.” Brock even asks “Was it ever worth it?” before transitioning to the poignant image of people dancing at their own wake.

“Missed the Boat” shines in part because of James Mercer’s background vocals especially present in the chorus, which does sound like a Shins chorus circa-Chutes Too Narrow. He brings a rousing quality to the message communicated and nicely parallels with Brock’s voice and is a testament to MM’s ability to look forward instead of perpetually treading the well-worn material of their past (despite the part of myself that desperately wants them to do that, you know, for old time’s sake).

But I love “Missed the Boat” because of the strange tiny-man-telling-a-joke-and-clapping-his-tiny-hands-in-front-of-a-tiny-curtain imagery in the last verse. The last couple lines are: “Sitting, drifting around in bubbles/And thinking it was us that carried them/When we finally got it figured out/That we had truly missed the boat.” It’s a perfect illustration of people doing extraordinary things even when they’re not on a path of any kind. It demonstrates our capacity of compassion expressed in unusual ways. In this case, it was a group of people carrying a tiny man drifting in bubbles. What have you done today?

[baltimoregal]

#perfect

[lolmemez]

Great

[evanzbuck]

Just don’t forget about me, okay? I would never.

MAX CHAPMAN and CLANCE MORGAN in A League of Their Own (2022-)

[baltimoregal]

They were SO. GOOD.

[baltimoregal]

This is Lark, the new kid. She’s 5 months old and a little wild but sweet and smart. Her older brother Goose is unsure but slowly adjusting.

[chaoticnutcase]

16th century ring that unfolds into an astronomical sphere

[rosit-aaa]

*For the people asking this ring is available HERE with free shipping

[fcntasmas-archive]

the last of us on hbo: here’s your first two episodes, full of the TERROR of humanity!! infected!! corrupt government!! marshal law!! senseless killing!!

us: ah

the last of us on hbo: and now for your third episode. the gut wrenching love story between two men who found each other at the end of the world and became so entangled in one another that when time finally wore them away, they left together. also on the nature of daylight plays over their last day together

us:

[aubrey-plaza]

THE SHAPE OF WATER (2017) dir. Guillermo del Toro

[bicolossus]

These are the best tags @puddle–wonderful

[uncleromeo]

[aquadraco20]

Good catch! Shape of the Water doesnt use modern day American sign language, but this was intentional. There were two ASL coaches who taught Sally Hawkins (the main actress) how to sign using period appropriate ASL to match the time period depicted in the film.

[dear-ebony-rose]

^^^ ALL of this!

[milf-source]

(source)

[guyinthechair3]

[creekfiend]

To all the 13 year olds out there being viciously mocked online by other 13 year olds for being into stuff I've never heard of, hang in there, one day you'll be like 30 and be like "what on earth are all these 13 year olds viciously mocking each other online about, I've literally never heard of that" and yes it IS as great as it sounds

[creekfiend]

If you're like "Pip did you make this post bc you heard the world 'hydroflask" for the very first time on this day and it made you feel like you were living in star trek, but like, the bad version, like the one that turns into mirrorverse?" the answer is yes

[creekfiend]

Someone invites me to give an It Gets Better speech. I tap the mic and then whisper "one day you will have to google Absolutely Everything that teenagers hate each other about"

[56blogsstillcrazy]

This is also where I’ll add for those who don’t know (although many do) that Michael K Williams was a club kid turned choreographer and dancer before the acting. He did a gang of tours, and choreographed Crystal Waters 100% Pure Love video (he’s in the middle)

[steveyockey]

thankful for everything this guy did and ESPECIALLY the empathy and care with which he approached playing gay characters. rip to a legend in the truest sense

[comeasyouarenana]

[meantfortheshore]

[moremetalthanyourmom]

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

[youcangofindatree-deactivated20]

Gotta try it

[clevermanka]

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

[emmagrant01]

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

[mercurialkitty]

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

[songbirde108]

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

[onethingconstant]

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

[naeonnoir]

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

[retroasgardian-deactivated20180]

[spiduhgirl]

It’s called the Murder Strut.

[elegantmess100]

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

[b3gayd0crim3]

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

[linkedsoul]

One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him.

It works wonders.

[noping-out-deactivated20241117]

In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them.

If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm.

[chasing-asterion]

[seperis]

Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how.

Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you.

Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds.

[taraljc]

I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT

[marithlizard]

Patriarchy Chicken and The Murder Strut, dance names for the new millenium. 

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

OH MY GOD I HAD BARELY SCROLLED DOWN THIS POST AND WAS GONNA SAY “JUST TAKE SOME ADVICE FROM ME THAT I LEARNT FROM AN OLD TUMBLR POST ABOUT WALKING LIKE THE WINTER SOLDIER FROM YEARS AGO” BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT TO BE THIS POST

I first discovered this a few years ago when I was an insecure 14-year-old, and since then I indeed do the “murder strut” and staunch everywhere I go, literally works wonders

[cade-the-god]

murder strut works wonders in the airport and school.

[fullyfunctionalminiaturebeehive]

Back in HS, other kids would kinda stream behind me like the tail of a comet because I was several inches taller than most of the student population and the Murder Strut was just…how I walked. Amazingly effective.

[fuckyeahjenimc]

I have been told this is how I walk and my friends tend to stream behind me. I am the smallest of us all, but also most likely to knock someone down.

[rocktheholygrail]

The Good Place (2016-2020)

[biglawbear]

Oh this hits differently in 2021