I stand here helpless, my arms extended, knowing full well darling, your war’s not ended...
You were unsure if waking up in the morning or falling asleep at night next to Bucky was better. Waking up with his arm thrown over your waist, his legs tangled in yours. You would press your back deeper into his chest and he would nuzzle your neck as the sun sprinkles in through the blinds, and it felt magical. Falling asleep was a challenge for both of you, but together a peaceful night was usually achievable.
The two of you had quite the nightly ritual. When it was time to truly wind down, you would brush your teeth and wash your face, slip into a nightgown (Bucky had his favorites, and would usually lay one out on your bed), then grab your book and hop under the sheets. Bucky was always close behind. Sometimes he would pick up a book as well, but every night he would first pull back the sheets and rub your feet and legs, mumbling something about how hard you work all day both inside and outside of your home. How much you do to keep him happy and keep your home organized does not go unnoticed by him. Once he can feel the muscles of your legs and feet relax, he moves his way up, hands grazing across your stomach and sides, tickling a little as they go. Then he finds his way up to your shoulders, gently pushing you forward and slipping in behind you. He always spends a while on your shoulders and back. The amount of tension you carry there visibly weighs you down, and he does not want that for his baby doll. Once you feel relaxed, you lean back against Bucky and this starts the next part of your nightly ritual. Bucky would lay down, and you would find your way to his chest. You would open up your book to read. He would open his book and read only a chapter or so, then put it down and play with your hair instead. More than he loved reading, he loved watching you read. Your breathing would slow, your brow furrow. At first it would worry him and he would ask you what was wrong. You would look up at him confused and assure him nothing was wrong, you were just reading. Then he would remember all the other times he had seen that same little expression on your face, you were concentrating. Leave it to you to look upset when all you are doing is focusing. He had never seen something so adorable.
Now that you think about it some more, bedtime with Bucky is definitely your favorite.
Tonight was a little different.
Instead of falling asleep to Bucky playing with your hair, you were trying your best to stay awake as Bucky kept rambling on about whatever came to mind. You were exhausted, but he rarely behaved like this, forcing conversation, and it concerned you. Part of you wanted to stop him and ask him what was wrong, but you knew it was best to not push him before he was ready. Bucky always opened up to you in time.
Eventually you lost the fight to sleep and nestled deeper into his chest, the hums of his words still filling the room.
A loud clatter ripped you from your sleep. Turning on your bedside lamp, you hear something coming from your bathroom. The sound is too faint to decipher, so you get up to investigate.
Bucky was curled up in the fetal position on the floor of your shower, body shaking from sobs, the rest of the room an absolute mess.
Immediately you ran towards Bucky to check if he was injured. Seeing no physical injuries, you climbed in next to him and pulled his head onto your lap. Running your hand gently through his hair, you started humming your song. His sobs softened and shoulders started to relax as he felt you be present with him in the moment.
You did not ask him to explain, and he did not try. That can come later. Right now he just needed to be grounded with your touch.
Slowly you started to stand and try to get him up, to come back to bed. You would both be much more comfortable there. The floor is no place to relax or feel safe. You led him back to bed and got him situated before laying down next to him. Bucky put his head back on your chest and you began to rub his head and neck until he finally dosed off to sleep.
You felt absolutely hopeless. What Bucky has experienced is a horror you will never know. How are you supposed to help him through that? He may be home, but his war is far from over.
I love you Bucky, and I am here for you now and forever. *****************************************************************************************************
Summary: (Bucky x reader) When Bucky gets called back into service, he promises you to be back by Christmas. But unfortunately, things don’t always turn out the way you hope for.
Warnings: wartime angst, fluff. If you want to be happy, then really sad, then happy again, I recommend this fic for ya.
A/N: Day 9 of the 12 days of Christmas! This one is dedicated to @picassho-18 . My goal was to make her simultaneously cry happy and sad tears, and I think this might do the trick. I’m not a historian but I tried my best to do my research on the time period (late 40s). I’m super proud of this Bucky fic and I hope you enjoy it!!!!
Please drop me an ask or comments or anything, I love hearing from you lovelies! That’s what keeps me going!!
“Babies? Now sure as hell ain’t the time to be starting that, sweetheart.”
“I know, I know… but you’re home. You’re back for good this time and I want to leave this war in our past.” You cuddled up closer into his chest, tucking your head under his chin. “Our whole marriage has been dominated by this war, Buck.”
“And you want to start a family… so we have something a little cheerier in our lives?” He chuckled softly.
“So that we have something that is ours. Yours and mine, not decided by any government or general.”
“Y/N… as much as I want to, I-I can’t.” Bucky carefully let go of your waist and sat up, covers falling off his shirtless torso. “I love your optimism, but you know this isn’t over yet. I couldn’t live with myself if we had a kid and I missed the first five or so years of their life ‘cause I was down in the trenches.”
You sat up as well, rubbing his back with a comforting hand. The fear and dismay on his face just at the thought of that brought a dull ache to your heart, so you brushed your lips over his cheek and whispered, “okay. Then we’ll wait.”
Bucky smiled and leaned over to kiss you gently. “Just until I’m sure it’s over. I won’t have to leave you ever again.”
Thank you for 400 followers! I will brainstorm a writing challenge or something to celebrate, so keep checking back for updates! Thank you again, so much!
Summary: You and Bucky cuddle but it's not enough for you.
WC: 560
Warnings: is there such thing as too much fluff? biker!bucky (he needs his own warning)
A/N: this was inspired from this TikTok I saw. Hope you like it!!
Masterlist
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(gif not mine)
It was miserable outside. The air was heavy with electricity, promising. A storm was coming.. You could hear the wind howling, shaking the trees in front of your bedroom. It was going to rain soon.
You loved when the weather was like this, because you would always open the window to let some fresh air in, and the sweet smell of petrichor would fill your lungs and it was one of the things you adored the most.
The only thing you enjoyed more than this, was being all snuggled up in your bed, with your boyfriend Bucky, while the world outside was momentarily falling apart.
You prepared everything: the window was open; the blankets were ready on the bed, and you were already in your comfiest clothes.
But there was only one thing missing: Bucky.
You scoured the entire house, finally finding him in the garage, busy working on his bike.
"Hey sweet girl," he lit up, seeing you enter the room.
"Buck it's raining!" you exclaimed. He knew how much you liked storms, and he shared the same excitement as you, knowing what they meant. He knew the drill: storm equal cuddles.
"Is it?" he asked, only to be answered by a clap of loud thunder, rumbling in the distance.
"Let's go then!" he put down his tools, and picked you up, resting you on his shoulders, making his way towards your shared bedroom.
The air in there was frizzy.
You jumped into the bed, squealing excitedly. Bucky disappeared momentarily to change out of his clothes, which were dirty from working in the garage all day.
"Come on, Bucky! Hurry up, it's going to stop raining soon, and this sounds like a good one"
He came back immediately, dressed in the red Henley he knew you loved so much.
"I'm here, I'm here," he grumbled, getting in bed with you and covering you both with your fluffy blanket.
You cuddled up next to him, but no matter how hard you tried switching positions, you couldn't find the perfect one. Big spoon, little spoon. You always felt too distant from Bucky. And you were practically glued to him.
"Could you please stop moving so much? I'm trying to cuddle here!" Bucky whined.
You got up on your knees, huffing. "I just...I can't find a comfortable position…"
But then, an idea popped up in your mind.
Straddling Bucky, you grabbed the hem of his Henley and put it over your head.
"What. Are. You. Doing?" Bucky asked, pretending to be irritated, but in reality, he was amused.
"Shut up." you pouted, struggling with the t-shirt, which was stuck on your head. Bucky unbuttoned it, chuckling.
"Here you go. You're free now, little koala," he grinned, seeing your head peeking out of the Henley.
"Much better," you exhaled. "Hi." you smiled at him.
"Hi baby," he replied, kissing you softly.
You placed your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent, a mix of his cologne and laundry detergent, blended with the smell of wet grass, that was filling the air of your room.
Bucky was lazily caressing your back, listening to the soft pitter-patter of the rain falling on the roof, and every time the thunder was too loud and scared you, he placed a soft kiss on the top of your head.
Yes, rainy days were definitely your favorite ones.
He hated shaking hands with people he doesn’t know. He hated when he had to spar with anyone other than Steve while training. He hated when the team had to pose for cameras during a gala. He always chose the single seater during movie nights, so no one could sit near him and make him uncomfortable.
Well, all of these were until you came along.
Bucky never talked much with any of the team members, except Steve and, occasionally, Sam. Although he wasn’t much of a talker he still was very nice to you and you liked him. He always brought you coffee when he left for starbucks, smiled at you in the mornings and voted for your movie everytime you and Tony got into a fight about which movie to watch. But again, you never talked much. Until one day he saw you listening to his favorite Ella Fitzgerald song. He was surprised and just wanted to ask you your favorite songs from his time, but the small talk quickly blossomed into a new friendship.
As your friendship continued, love came along so slowly and naturally, as it was always there, and you two quickly fell into a relationship.
And as your relationship grew, he started showing you a side of him that you’ve never seen before
Bucky always held your hand during Tony’s parties. He always made sure that you sat on the seat next to his during dinners, so he could put his hand on your thigh. Some mornings, the team would find you two in the kitchen, you making breakfast as Bucky hugged you from behind. He even started sharing his single seater with you, you in his lap, his hands on your waist as the movie played.
You liked Bucky’s touch. You liked cuddling with him every night, your head on his chest, legs tangled. You liked it when he wrapped his arms around your waist during galas. You liked playing with his hands, drawing lines on his palms with your fingers, as he read. You liked how he always came to your room first after solo missions, how he hugged you liked he had been gone for years.
Because to him, it really felt like years.
Bucky never thought he would be touch starved for anyone, but there he was waiting for quinjet to land, dreaming about the way you would wrap your arms around his waist, how you would rub your little hands on his shoulders as he lifts you up, hands on your waist.
After what felt like an eternity, quinjet finally landed. Bucky took his backpack and started running. By the time he reached your door, he was out of breath. Worth it. He knocked on your door first, always the gentleman he is. When you quickly mumbled a come in. He swears, he had never moved so fast in his life. He opened the door and you were in his arms in seconds.
Bucky had never felt more relieved.
“I missed you”
“I missed you too, baby”
a/n 2: my requests are open! so if you want to request anything or just write feedback (or literally just talk about anything) slide into my inbox <33
Summary: Steve couldn’t remember the exact moment he fell in love with you. There are too many moments to count.
Warnings: Nothing at all, this is tooth-rooting fluff with the soft golden boy. This blog is 18+
Authors note: I don’t know where this came from. I’m soft and I miss my boyfriend so I needed something loving. This is only the second thing I’ve wrote and I’ve never wrote for Steve so hopefully it’s not too trash! (word count: 530)
Thank you @dreatine for the tag! I finally was able to come up with an answer. I realize these characters are all kind of similar as far as why I identify with them... so I will try to come up with some more different reasons for each
I identify with Peggy Carter because she is independent. She can take care of herself and does not rely on others, but does enjoy the company of her chosen few. I also admire her bravery and confidence in herself, a confidence I hope to have myself. Peggy is also fiercely loyal to those she cares about.
I identify with Aria because of her quick wit and empathy for people. I have always been compared to her by my friends. Friends and family always tell me I am empathetic to others, even going as far as to tell me that I am like a “human sponge,” absorbing the emotions of everyone around me. I also like to think I have a little bit of Aria’s “spunk” and free spirit.
I identify with Bonny because she will do anything for those she loves, even if it means sacrificing herself. I always have put those I care about before myself, and I know I will keep doing it, any time my friends or family need me. It does not matter how big or small the need is.
up next: @saviorgenius @belladonnabarnes @moteldwelling @emmabarnes
Shattering glass. You jerked upright as the sound ripped you from your sleep. Your hand immediately flew beside you, desperately searching for that familiar arm, but instead of meeting warm flesh your hand found cold silk.
Where is he?
You wanted to call out his name, but your instincts told you to stay silent. The rational part of your brain tells you the shattering glass was likely the result of him dropping a glass while trying to get some water. But the other part of you, the part that has learned the world holds plenty of evil when you take off your rose colored glasses (or have them ripped off by someone else), told you the noise had nothing to do with your boyfriend or anyone who should be in your apartment.
More shuffling, a heavy mass bumping into one of your end tables. The light pulls of the lamp sitting atop the table slapped the lamp rod, soft screams for help.
What if they already got to Bucky? As much as you could not stand to think about that, nothing else made sense. Bucky was home, and there was no way he would let an intruder fumble through your apartment for this long. If they could incapacitate Bucky, you had no chance. You rolled over the bed to his side, opening the top drawer of his nightstand. His gun stared up at you, and with a shaky hand you picked it up. Going back to your side of the bed, further from the door, you knelt behind the bed, your head barely showing above the top. You positioned yourself, hands holding the gun atop the mattress, aimed at the door.
The doorknob shook, someone twisting from outside your room. With a slam the door opened and hit the wall. A scream left your lungs as you squeezed the trigger, and suddenly your body was shaking.
Your eyes flew open, only to be met with steel blue hovering above you.
“(Y/n), are you okay? You were screaming in your sleep. I kept trying to wake you up, but I didn’t want to scare you more.”
His words were muted by your heartbeat echoing in your ears. Your hand flew up to his face, touching his cheek before tangling your fingers in his hair. Your mouth opened to respond, but the words were tangled in your throat.
“Babydoll, are you okay? Can you answer me?”
His eyes desperately searched your own for an answer, scanning the rest of your face and body for any insight into what you were feeling.
The best you could do was nod and hope he understood that physically you were fine, but your mind needed some more time. While you did not do this often, it was not the first time it had happened around Bucky. He understood how real nightmares can feel, and he had his own fair share of panic attacks. Of course he wanted to do whatever he could to help you, but even with his own experience, he always had to carefully navigate you during your panic attacks. Sometimes you needed him to hold you tight, close to his chest. Other times he could touch your shoulder and it would make everything so much worse.
You closed your eyes and tried to take a deep breath. It was shaky, but you got some more air.
“There you go baby, keep breathing. Is it okay for me to touch you?”
Again you nodded, and he laid down behind you, gently pulling you towards his chest. Feeling his heart beat against you helped pull you back to center. Slowly you felt the muscles in your body relax, and so did Bucky.
“Are you okay?” He asked quietly, and the vibration of his chest brought you comfort.
Your voice was weak and hoarse, but you were able to force out a word for Bucky. “Yeah.”
“Bad dream?” You nodded, really not ready to have a conversation yet. Bucky could sense your still dissolving tension and pulled you a little closer. One of his hands moved to your head, gently massaging your scalp and playing with your hair. “We can talk about it later, whenever you’re ready babydoll.”
Another nod.
“Do you want to try to go back to sleep?”
You nodded one last time against his chest.
As terrible and realistic as that nightmare had seemed, you knew you were safe. Wrapped in Bucky’s arms, nothing could touch you.
