BAD BOY, GOOD LIPS.

BLAINE DEVON ANDERSON. seventeen. senior. resident badass. cheerios. gay. single. My name’s Blaine Anderson, and I’m not someone you’d want to mess with. I'm one of the Cheerios, which means I'm probably better than most of you in this sad excuse of a school. Don’t like my attitude? Feel free to take it up with Sue. But until then, keep your mouth shut or I’ll shut it for you. If you see me in the hallways at school, don’t say hi, because I know I won’t.

[struckbyhummel]

Oh. I’m sorry about that…. And, um, well maybe you won’t be as into me as you originally thought. Romance and musicals, they’re sort of like my obsession. After Pulp Fiction and Cougar Town - oh, and coffee, and all of the Harry Potter Series. You…You’re very charming. You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, per se. I’m just not used to…this.  

I…wow. I’m sorry. I had no idea. I guess you really can’t judge a book by it’s cover. When did this happen? Here I though I was pretty much the McKinley Titan’s main target since Sophomore year. Seems like fighting fire with fire just won’t resolve anything. But if it works for you then that’s great. I just rather lay low. I don’t look at them, I don’t talk back to them, I just stay invisible. It’s actually worked pretty well…for the most part. I- you know exactly what I thought you were suggesting.

You never quit do you?

[banderbadties-blog]

Oh, that’s such a shame. Our budding romance is over before it even started. Call it a gut feeling, but something tells me you’re not a coward, Hummel. So maybe this, whatever this is between us, isn’t as hopeless as you think. Great, so you like coffee, as do I. Truthfully, I probably should have already picked up on the fact when you suggested the Lima Bean. See? We do have something in common after all. I can be very charming when the situation calls for it, especially when I have something, or in this case, someone, I really want for myself. This... as in the attention? 

You really ought to quit saying sorry, Hummel. It wasn’t your fault. Heck, you didn’t even know me back then. It happened two years ago, I think. I’d like to think that even if you avoid the others, someone’s bound to notice you sooner or later, whether you like it or not. But one thing’s for sure, though. You’re definitely not invisible anymore, not after I just declared to the whole school that I want nothing more than to bend you over a table. ...I have no idea what you thought I was suggesting, but I’m going to assume that you’re good at that too.

You’re right, I don’t. I can’t promise I’ll take things slow, so you might as well just get used to it. Is tomorrow morning a good time for our coffee date?

[inspirationforboys]

[struckbyhummel]

Alright so if he’s not your type, what is? So you’re saying you’ve only been with people that you’ve actually felt something for? I don’t mean to offend you or anything, but I find that so of hard to believe with the very…um, forward things you’ve said to me within only knowing me for like 2 minutes. 

Oh my god, it’s not a date. If you don’t mind me asking, what would were you trying to protect yourself from? It’s sort of hard to imagine that you would need a uniform to protect you from anything. Doesn’t that just create a bigger problem though? I mean using physical violence can get you in deeper trouble with a person than finding other ways to revolve issues…like you can get suspended and that would be on your permanent record. What? Oh god, I actually do mean homework - I don’t know what the heck you’re suggesting but I can help you with like editing papers or research.

Um, a casual hang out? That’s what the kids say these days, right?

[banderbadties-blog]

I can’t say for sure, to be honest. I used to like guys who’re into romance and musicals, but my ex boyfriend turned out to be a coward in the end, so perhaps that’s not the most ideal type to fall in love with after all. Someone nice, I guess. Someone kind and accepting; someone like you. I don’t make a habit of sleeping around with strangers, Hummel. Despite my outward appearance, sex is sacred to me. You say two minutes, but it sort of feels like I’ve known you longer than that. I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable, though. You’re adorable when you get nervous and flustered; I couldn’t resist myself.

It’s a date to me. Oh, the usual, really. Bullies, heartbreak, betrayal. I got taunted at my old school and it really... it pissed me off. I knew it’d be challenging, coming out and all, but what they did to me... I refuse to go through something similar again. Well, I disagree. Why should I resolve things peacefully when I can just punch them in the face? Ignorant bullies won’t listen to reason, and the only way to get them to stay the fuck away is to physically hurt them. I’ve tried being nice, and where did it get me? Here. Alone, and having to join a club that I didn’t even like. I actually do mean homework as well, Hummel. Color me curious though, what did you think I was suggesting?

Sure. But like I said, it’s a date to me. 

[struckbyhummel]

I’m as nice to you as I am to everyone else, Blaine. If you think he’s so good looking then why don’t you go after him yourself? He seemed pretty into you from where I was standing. Um- Wow. Well, that’s a really personal question…But let’s just say, hypothetically speaking, it did if only for a moment. It wouldn’t make me a strange case to be a teenage who just wants to get it over with and like you said, Sebastian is a conventionally guy. And he seems like he’s not really the type to play mind games after the fact…But really, I couldn’t. Call me silly all you want, but I want my first time to mean something with someone who cares about me.

If you didn’t do it for the popularity or the uniform - though admittedly red does look good on you - why did you do it then? Oh. I didn’t know how much of those rumors really held true…Um, is punching people in the face really something you feel the need to do? Wait - it’s not? Then what else do you want? Like…homework help? 

Okay whatever but it’s not a date.

[banderbadties-blog]

He’s not my type, Hummel. He’s into everyone and that’s the problem. I’ve been through enough to recognize the warning signs of potential heartbreak when I see one. Oh no, I don’t think that’s silly at all. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to want your first time to be something really special. I mean, being intimate with another person in that way, it requires courage and a willingness to be vulnerable. Having sex is like making a promise to someone. At least, that’s the case for me.

Well, in that case, I’ll make sure to wear red on our upcoming date. I joined the Cheerios to protect myself, simple as that. I have zero interest in actual cheerleading and I think Sue’s a literal nightmare, but as long as people know not to mess with me, then I’m fine with shaking those damn pom poms every once in a while. I don’t need to punch people, per se, but I won’t let those assholes get away thinking I’m weak either. I’m done being nice to those I have no reason to be nice to. Yeah sure, homework. You’re good at those, aren’t you?

If it isn’t a date, then what should we call it? 

[struckbyhummel]

Oh. He was really just being nice…And like I said, it’s not like anything he says can really be taken seriously. I’m really just being polite. I think the more appropriate question would be that are you sure that you just aren’t a tad bit obsessed with me?

But the fact that you’re a cheerio and on top of the social pyramid puts you pretty high on the popularity chat nonetheless. Why do you say you’re not a nice person? From what I’ve seen, you don’t seem to be a particularly mean or rude person. Um, thanks…but I might be more inclined to believe that statement if it weren’t for the fact that you’re obviously trying to um sleep with me. …Okay, fine. How about we start at the Lima Bean then see where it goes from there?

[banderbadties-blog]

A little too nice, if you ask me. Although, to be fair, I can’t deny he’s pretty good looking. Which brings me to ask — did the concept of sleeping with him ever cross your mind? Mm, polite. Sure, I believe you. Oh, but I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’m obsessed with you. You’re hot, Hummel. And I think you know you’re hot, hence those sinfully tight pants. 

I’ve never wanted to become a popular person, nor to be seen as one. I joined the Cheerios for a reason, and before you say anything, no, I didn’t join it for the clingy, polyester uniform. Well, I’m sure a nice person wouldn’t smoke under the bleachers after school and go around punching people in the face. Everyone in this school calls me the ‘bad boy’, remember? ...But isn’t that what people do when they’re attracted to someone? I mean, sure, it’d be nice to get into your pants, but sex isn’t the only thing I want from you. 

It’s cute, the way you act like you don’t really want this. Coffee sounds excellent. It’s a date, Hummel.

[struckbyhummel]

Private: Oh…I see, I’m sorry. I’ve had a short conversations with him, and he’s quite the character but if I were you, I wouldn’t take anything he said too seriously. 

Oh. That. I just meant…you’re just- you’re this really popular, cool, and unapologetically confident guy. Like you said, people part like the red sea when you down the hall… And me? Well, I’m pretty much the opposite of that. I hope you didn’t think that I mean you were you in a bad way. Honestly, I wish I was a little more like you.

[banderbadties-blog]

Private: I probably didn’t like the way he was flirting with you either. You’re being very sweet. Are you sure you aren’t attracted to me?

People part like the red sea because they’re scared of me, not because they think I’m cool or any of those adjectives that you just used to describe me. Simply put, I’m not a very nice person. Oh, don’t sell yourself so short, Hummel. I think you’re the most interesting person in this place and the way you talk about Pokemon on the dash? Fucking sexy. So yes, I’d still hang out with you even if sex isn’t part of the day’s agenda.

[struckbyhummel]

Private: Oh. Well, it’s fine, really. It’s not like you’ve emotionally scarred me or anything… Do you mind if I ask what put you in a bad mood?

[banderbadties-blog]

Private: I’m... glad that’s the case. Oh, it’s nothing really. Just Smythe being his usual self. But uh- thank you for asking, Hummel. That’s very nice of you. 

What did you mean earlier when you said I’m... me?

[struckbyhummel]

Private: No, no, no- I mean, a little. But I just really suck at talking to people. So it’s partly my fault.

[banderbadties-blog]

Private: It’s not your fault, Hummel. I was in a bad mood. I never intended to scare you.

[struckbyhummel]

Well yeah- but I like most people. I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed anything.  Oh god,I didn’t it like that. I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this. 

[banderbadties-blog]

...I scared you, didn’t I?

[struckbyhummel]

I- Uh, okay. I’ll keep that in mind.  Wow. I must say, somehow I thought you’d use that information to just make fun of me. Consider my pleasantly surprised. Because you’re…you. But if you really want to, we can definitely hang out. 

[banderbadties-blog]

You really do like me, don’t you, Hummel? Guess you’ve heard plenty of negative things about me. Just because people part ways for me to walk by in the hallways, doesn’t make me a sex addict. 

[struckbyhummel]

...ANYWAYS- Thank you. I appreciate that. Well, that’s really a matter of opinion. ‘Let’s have intercourse.’ sounds much less crude. I-Uh, well…no. And I have no shame in saying so. It’s really a personal choice. It’s not like I haven’t had offers. You’d really want to hang out? Even when you know it won’t involve any sex?

[banderbadties-blog]

‘Let’s have intercourse’, huh? It’s sort of romantic. If you use those exact same words on me, I’d definitely say yes. Oh, I’m sure you’ve had offers. I have good taste, after all. Good, because you shouldn’t be ashamed, Hummel. Sex isn’t an achievement, and being a virgin certainly doesn’t make you less of a person. Why wouldn’t I?

[struckbyhummel]

I don’t think I can recall ever stating that, but I do think that you think pretty highly of yourself that you would just assume that. It is, so please avoid defiling the only place where I can claim sanctuary.  I don’t- I mean, it’s just the proper word. And I didn’t say that…but I think you and I have very different ideas of what hanging out is.

[banderbadties-blog]

But my assumption was correct, wasn’t it? Fine, but only because you asked so nicely. It’s a little weird to say ‘let’s have intercourse’ instead of ‘let’s have sex’, Hummel. Have you not had sex before? So, if I let you decide on the idea, you’d hang out with me?

[struckbyhummel]

That’s- I didn’t need to know that. Not even a little bit. I don’t doubt that you’re the type to get away with most things but I know for a fact that Linda would not appreciate people having…erm, intercourse in her library.

[banderbadties-blog]

I thought you wanted to know me better, Hummel? Didn’t like what you read, did you? Oh, but of course. The library must have been a second home to you. And you can use the word ‘sex’, Hummel. Though, I must say that you make the word ‘intercourse’ sound a lot more hotter than usual. So, is that a no to hanging out this weekend?

[struckbyhummel]

That is not what I meant…Besides, how could you want to even do it in such a public place? You could get arrested for that.

[banderbadties-blog]

Because I’m into most kinks, Hummel. Unconventional sexual practices, if you must. Oh, I have my ways. You’d be surprised how charming I can be in times of need. I’m sure the nice, old lady at the library wouldn’t mind giving us a secluded corner to relax in. 

[struckbyhummel]

OH MY GOD. What the hell are you talking about?! That’s- that would not be the proper use of the library table. 

[banderbadties-blog]

Hm, I guess that’s true. Wouldn’t want to risk breaking the table now, do we? 

[struckbyhummel]

I have been called sassy on a few occasions, but I’m glad you’re not mad I was little worried there for a second- Wait, excuse me - You what? Uh…is this a joke?

[banderbadties-blog]

I don’t do jokes, Hummel. So what do you say? How about a little rendezvous at the public library this weekend? I’ve always wanted to fuck someone bent over a library table. You can work on your high notes, and I can pretend I’m a hardworking student for once. 

[princeofparadise]

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