The trials and tribulations of Evan Buckley

moved to another acc until my shadowban is lifted

[banedean]

Welcome to the blog of confusion and why are you like this?

Don't be a Zionist, come help the Palestinian [x]

Hello people and welcome to my blog. I'm Dean and a 23-year-old business student who writes fics to cope for a living. I do not welcome any bigots, minor or any people that I just don't like in general. I will block you unprompted and I do not care. I write most of the time but most of my writings are for fandoms who are long dead by now or my ship is just not that popular as I wished it'd be, but hey, that won't stop me from destroying everyone's heart.

[I tend to refer myself as they/them but you can call me with anything bcus i dont mind really]

I love receiving comments for my fics and love to talk about them in my asks, so if you have any question or just yell at me in general, my ask will always be open for you.

The fics that I've written on ao3:-

9-1-1:

Bad Omens - Eddie Diaz was supposed to be dead after the shooting in S4 EP13, but for some reason, he was thrown into a time loop, and he had to re-live the horror of being shot in front of Buck all over again.

White Collar:

I believe (That plan involves Me getting my own planet) - All Neal Caffrey wanted was to live a normal life now that he's a CI for the FBI, so why is this unfamiliar man with beautiful brown eyes disturbing his sleep and now his whole life?

You and Me (but mostly me) - Neal Caffrey had thought that he had left his old life and the people in it behind in that explosion, but when he met a certain cat during a sting, maybe - just maybe - he was not over them as he had thought he'd be.

Well I didn't tell anyone (but a bird flew by) - Having a contingency plan is a must, especially when he used to live with a certain Bat. But Neal Caffrey never really thought that he was supposed to be using it on one of the most important people in his life

House Md/DPS: [in the proper order to read]

Twin Size Mattress - House has other friends and nobody knew about it - not even Wilson

Bloodied and Afraid - Gregory House realizes that he's in love with James Wilson. And the proper way to cope with it is to run away.

The Sun and A Puck - A House in a Dead Poets Society fic nobody asked for but I still wrote it because it seemed fun

House Md:

The Rain Never Came - A Hilson Sickfic nobody asked for but I still made it, because why the hell not?

So I Stayed in The Darkness With You - House is miserable after Wilson has left him and the only way to cope with it, is to discuss his feelings for his former best friend with his dying patient.

Heart is Buried (in Venice) - In a world of black and white, Wilson is the only person who can show him how beautiful the colours are when they are truly shown to him. (Soulmate Au nobody asked for but I still wrote it)

Just Believe - Christmas time just hit the House-Wilson apartment (not really) and House is one song away to write a strongly worded letter to a famous Mariah Carey

One Piece:

Kill Me Slowly - Rob Lucci is trying to convince himself that he has a heart arrhythmia whenever Sabo is around him.

Summer Child - Sabo Newgate is used to face his demons alone but sometimes he forgets; how comforting it is when someone else is there with him to face that said demon.

“I spent most of my life waiting for God to love me, and then I realized the only thing that matters is I love God. It’s the same with you. I have loved you my whole life. I never loved anyone but you. You are my great, consuming love. And most people don’t get one of those. I did. I have no regrets.” - Tim Laughlin

“Because, if you die, I'm alone” - Greg House.

“Let time pass” - Mobius M. Mobius

"Dick Grayson, He was my starcrossed soulmate. He will never be replaced" - Koriand'r

"But now I know, I need her giggling in my ear. I need her beside me at night. I need her hand in mine. I love her." - Dick Grayson

"You were my last real thing" - Larry Trainor

"If you're gonna make this about me choosing between you or my son, you're gonna lose every time" - Eddie Diaz

"I'm an Army doctor, which means I can break every bone in your body while naming them." - John Watson

[poughkeepsiesjr]

I love buddie. I love them so much. I love how they'll fight when they miss each other but can't stand fighting for more than a day because read: they miss each other. I love how they like doing grand gestures for each other. I love the way their lives seem to endlessly thematic revolve around a piece of furniture (couch). I love how they have no name for what they are to each other except in knowing that they occupy the same radius around christopher. I love how quick buck is in tucking his tail in and saying the words "I'm sorry" and how eddie can never say the words but he makes up for it tenfold by fixing whatever's upsetting buck. I love how they'll get in each other's face but never flinch because it's not about controlling the urge to hit them it's about controlling the urge to hold. I love that everyone else can see it. I love that everyone else only views it with softness in their eyes. I love the way they're always standing on opposite sides of the door if only for the joy of seeing the other's face when they walk in.

[dana-duchovny]

[exhuastedpigeon]

Eddie showing Buck that there's plenty of things you can get at the airport.

[gayeddies]

so true bestie

[banedean]

Have you been getting notifs of being tagged in the last 2 weeks? (Asking because of the shadow-ban)

still nothing 😭😭😭😭 now I'm thinking about deleting this acc and making a new one

[gayedmundodiaz]

Do the bts not realize that it is normal and healthy sometimes for people to fight and argue and scream with the people they love? No, not all the time, no not physically, but when someone is backed into a corner, suffocating on their grief, they’re going to lash out, they’re going to get a little mean, they’re going to test the strength of the bonds of their relationships just to make sure it’s still holding and after a rupture there is repair and you come out stronger on the other side what part of this is so fucking hard to understand??

[desertbuddie]

Tired of seeing the bad Eddie takes so for little reminder for everyone:

"I want more complex characters" meanwhile can't handle Eddie or Maddie 🙄

[gayeddies]

i forgot to announce it but uh offscreeneddie -> 911onao3

(also known as sadgayeddie and hurtingbuck)

[banedean]

also if you're calling Eddie's grief as 'abusive' then you're just racist. idc what's your explanation, you see a Latino man grieving and he didn't even done anything threatening or have been violent to his previous partners before and suddenly, he raised his finger and you clocked it as abusive, you're a big ass racist and get out of my fucking house.

[andtheywerecoworkers]

TIA PEPA COMING IN CLUTCH!!! OH THE WOMAN IN THIS SHOW ARE EATING TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[banedean]

God, the argument in the kitchen isn't about who's right or wrong. it's about how two people are going through grieve and doesn't know how to handle it properly with each and only knows how to lash out with each other. it's not how 'Buck is so childish' or 'Eddie is abusive' it's about how these two men had lost the most important person in their lives and doesnt know how to comfort each other about it.

if all you're gonna do is paint the other as the bad guy then you guys need to work on your comprehension because it is seriously lacking at this point

[gayeddies]

does anyone else feel upset that everyone makes buck feel bad for feeling bad? like everyone says he's never allowed to make things about him, but he literally lost someone he thought of as a dad.

sorry for the late answer! got this when i was at work and didn't have time to answer it until now.

i mean, yeah, i get what you're coming from. grief is strange, you never know how it will take form, but you are allowed to grief in any shape or form, and i think buck grieves in a way that he kind of expects other people to have the same kind of grief as him?

he was told by bobby to be there because they will "need him", but he takes that a bit too literally and like a mission to try to make sure they are doing okay, that HE is the one sole person that can make sure they are okay, and he won't allow himself to grieve fully until he has completed that mission, i guess. but he comes to a point where he realizes it isn't working, and instead thinks he's doing it wrong and that no one needs him. which makes him turn himself inwards even more.

and since everyone is grieving in their own ways, they will inevitably clash, and also see the facades they are trying to keep up (even if they might not know they have one). i think all of them are just handling things in such different ways and it results in someone finding a thing that works for them and then they genuinely just want to give that same advice to someone they love that is in the same situation, thinking that might help, but it might just be the opposite of what they really need.

and eddie knows buck, knows how he is, but since he is grieving himself, fighting his own battles with bobby dying without him there, he eventually also gets to a point where he makes it about himself, because he too is feeling sorry for himself and his situation, and only wants buck, the person he trusts the most in this entire world, to see him and ask if he's okay for once.

i think both of them, in that moment, just wanted to be the smaller person for once, being asked if they were okay, being the one felt sorry for, just being allowed to grieve without that facade.

and since they are each other's safe spaces, eddie especially feels like he can let go of the frustration he feels about the whole thing, opening himself up and peeling off a layer of his facade and his grief, and that safe space makes him be able to be angry at buck. they don't need to pretend with each other, and i think eddie felt like buck was doing that, even if he once was the person who told eddie that he doesn't have to pretend with him.

god, sorry for the absolute wall of text, i have no idea if it's even coherent. i lost my brother a year ago and i've been thinking a lot about grief since.

[niconicodayo]

[sluttynurse]

rap has probably been the most consistently popular and influential genre of music for the past 40+ years but your average person on tumblr is less willing to listen to it than a random white teenage boy in the suburbs or a 4channer who lurks on /mu/ every once in a while

[assteios]

ask a tumblr user why they don't listen to rap and you get shit like this lmfaoooo

[squidwardtestacle]

[solidcores]

buck + getting turned on by eddie getting angry. in case you forgot. it seems like some of you did.

[dinobot]

call her ai the way she makes me generate slop

[dinobot]

people do not like this one . And for that i would like to say youre welcome