Ficlet: Minerva x Bacchus - First Impressions
A/N: Written because I can. Also, because @artsy-alice’s comics with them are hilarious and inspirational.
We also know the whenever an anti-Lyredy post surfaces, it is custom to write a Lyredy fic in its honor. That’ll be tomorrow…
Minerva frowned as she entered the bar, wrinkling her nose at the heavy scent of tobacco and booze. This was hardly a place she would go of her own accord, but she had no choice in this instance. She promised Sting to look out for Yukino – as if she’d have to promise him that; she’d do it on her own without his direction—and part of this mission required visiting a sleezy dump like this place to gather information.
Her green eyes traveled over the bar occupants, calculating and categorizing. Years and years of habit had been ingrained into her, and it was impossible to get rid of the habit of making snap judgments about strangers and their weaknesses just because she wanted to do better. Aside from that, as long as she did not act on them inappropriately, it was a useful thing to be in the habit of. It had saved her on missions more than once, her underlying, suspicious nature and manipulative tendencies.
Yukino was fairly easy to spot, being a bright, pure spot in this gross, grubby establishment. Even out of her normal outfit and in something more appropriate for their mission, she most certainly looked out of place. Minerva, on the other hand, had carefully chosen an outfit to blend in and make-up that screamed trash. It was something she would be glad to scrub off immediately. How demeaning and debase, advertising oneself in such a fashion. Did these women have no pride?
Leaning over Yukino was a man who also seemed to have no pride. Recognition tickled at the back of her mind, but Minerva was mostly focused on the fact that his leering, drunken face was inches away from a flustered and uncomfortable Celestial Mage that so happened to be Minerva’s guild mate. And that man was about to get the surprise of his life.
She forced herself to walk over and cut between them without instantly transporting him to the nearest volcano or ocean. Smiling, which involved a lot of shiny, white teeth, she leaned over Yukino’s shoulders and stared at him menacingly.
“Are you bothering my friend, honey?” she practically choked on the word and his sloppy grin widened, “Jus’ bein’ friendly-like. No harm, doll.”
“Yukino, are you alright?”
She flushed at the question,“Y-yes, Minerva. He was just being nice… I think.”
Minerva patted her shoulder a little and crooked her finger at him, “You. And me. A private talk.”
“Oh ho hoooooooooooooooooooo…”
He blinked, surprised at the sudden transportation then promptly gagged and spent a good minute mastering his stomach. She was mildly impressed. Usually those who weren’t used to her magic succumbed to the wrenching feeling of transported in a highly unnatural fashion.
She poked his chest when he straightened up, still looking a little green, and said each word slowly so the dolt would understand in no uncertain terms what was going on.
“Do.not.hit.on.Yukino. Do.not.look.at.her. Or. Talk. To. Her. Or I will make you regret it; do you understand me, Bacchus? I am well aware of your reputation and the reputation of your guild, Mr. Wild Drunkard. And Yukino is not for men like you! I will geld you if you touch her again.”
He blinked a few times, taken aback by her venom, before shrugging, “So she’s for a woman like you? Gotcha.”
“Excellent. Wait… what?!”
“Gonna return me now? Left my beer at the bar, y’know.” He scratched his head and yawned.
“Explain what you meant.”
“What? Oh, you’re a jealous, protective girlfriend. Ain’t the first time, lady. Jus’ gotta say somethin’ and it’s all cool.”
“I am not Yukino’s girlfriend. I am her guild mate and her senior!” Minerva fought the urge to stomp her heeled foot… right into his. She was the bigger person. She was better than that. She would not resort to violence.
His lidded eyes sharpened a bit and he looked her up and down with new interest. A smirk quirked the corner of his lips at what he saw.
Too late. A hand reached out and cupped her backside, giving a firm squeeze. And before either of them knew what was happening, she’d snatched up said hand and gave it a squeeze of her own. To the point where there were cracking sounds and he was cringing in pain, pleading and bending back as she put more pressure on the captured fingers mercilessly.
“Oww oww oww, let go! Woman, I need those!”
“Apologize. Now. And you do not need all of them. Four will serve just as well as five, hmm?” she purred, shoving back a little harder and making his knees buckle slightly. He was asking for it, she assured herself, when she wondered if she was being too harsh. It wasn’t like she was legitimately torturing him…
“I’m sorry for grabbin’ your delicious ass—OUCH—your very private personal property that is so grabbable—OUCH—for the love of Zeref, woman, let go! I’m sorry for bein’ a pig! Sorry, sorry, sorry –aahhhh.”
He nursed his fingers, shooting her a baleful look, and she glared back. Maybe next time he’d think twice about pulling that poor behavior with a lady. Probably not, but at the least, she could hope he got punched in the nose regularly for it. Also not likely, but it was a hope.
“Sooooo… how ‘bout I buy you a drink, to make up for it, yes?”
She smirked at his persistence. She had to admire his commitment; most guys would have run away screaming by now. Sissies.
“I don’t know. Can you refrain from being a mannerless cretin?”
“Sure. Jus’ gotta get you drunk ‘nough you don’t notice—OUCH. I was kiddin’, just kiddin’!” he yelped unconvincingly, holding up his hands playfully and giving her a wink. Oh yes, he definitely had some guts. It had been awhile since she’d run into a man that wasn’t a boy.
“Then I believe I will allow you to buy me a single drink to prove your sincerity for your apology.”
“After that, we shall see, won’t we?” she sniffed, shooting him a look. He seemed to catch it and beamed hopefully. She rolled her eyes a little and showily snapped her fingers to take them back to the bar. This couldn’t go too wrong with Yukino as wingman, right?
