I swear I wasn't always this full of feels.

I think I had something cleverer here initially, but let's be real: this is Tumblr. It's full of cute animal pictures and shouty gifsets and fandom flailing. Sometimes I write fic and sometimes I cosplay but mostly the flailing. Who can say? I'M UNPREDICTABLE.

[praguegirl]

let’s settle this shit but do NOT reblog if you’re gonna be modest about it like a little BITCH. anyway privilege check tell me which ones apply to you: hot, funny, can dance, can do math, can spell, can drive, can cook

[crunchbuttsteak]

If I had a nickel for every big name Harry Potter fanfic writer who started their own cult, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.

[lookingforsarahjay]

Oh man, are we talking about Snape wives?? I because every time I remember them I just have to stare off into the distance for a while.

[crunchbuttsteak]

I’d have three nickels.

[merry-kuroo]

What is a Snape Wife? Someone fill me in on all these Harry Potter cults 😂

[iamthecraftmaster]

Snape wives (or as they called themselves, Snapeists) were an online cult made mostly of middle-aged women who believed the following

Severus Snape is an omniscient, unkillable entity residing on the astral plane.

Snape is the one true god.

Snape possessed JKR to write the Harry Potter books, but she got several things wrong; most importantly Snape dying.

The spirit of Snape abandoned JKR because she wasn’t good enough for him and created the Snapists instead.

Snape chose several Snapists that have a special connection with him to lead his religion.

Snapists can serve Snape by marrying him and becoming sister-wives (there was lots of debate on if they could have boyfriends/husbands other than Snape in the real world).

Snape contacts his followers who are worthy, both in dreams and by possessing real life people.

To be worthy of Snape, you need to be… basically a tradwife. Obey Snape in all things, never question him, don’t be independent, be pretty, be thin, only have feminine hobbies, etc.

The snapewives wrote a crazy amount of fanfiction about Snape, both erotic and otherwise. Plus they had their own prayers, ceremonies, shrines… shit was wild. The whole religion fell apart when one of the leaders criticized Snape and was subsequently bullied out of the community and another decided that the one true god was actually Jethro Gibbs from NCIS.

[keyofmgy]

when the second half of that last sentence hits you like a brick in the face

[raisedbylibrarians]

Wait, what were the other two HP cults?

[icarus-suraki]

Less Weong/Eliezer Yudkowsky of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality 

Thanfiction of Dumbledore’s Army and the Year of Darkness fame

And I remember the era of Snape’s on an Astral Plane.

I was there, Gandalf. I was there 3,000 years ago…

[raisedbylibrarians]

Thank you, and also, now that I have googled these, I’m pretty sure there was a reason I forgot all of this.

[gothkrispies]

I wish I could go back to five minutes ago when I didn’t know that Snapewives existed

[porcupine-girl]

Wait wait I did not know that Methods of Rationality had a cult.

I mean I’m also not surprised, having read like a dozen chapters of it and then bailed because it was too self-righteous and condescending.

[madlori]

If you’re interested, YouTuber and Tumblr commentator Strange Aeons has videos on all three of these.

[typewriterchan]

the phrase ‘married on the Astral Plane’ is forever in my head and I fucking hate it

[chandri]

I remembered Snapewives and scrolled down the list thinking "okay but what was the Thanfiction HP cult, I know there was one, they're always in there somewhere..." And ah, yes. There it was.

[luckthebard]

I don’t think anyone at Critical Role knows what the word “nonce” actually means.

[tavella]

Sigh. The number of people who don't realize that nonce has a different meaning in the US than the UK, and thus insist that it was used wrongly, when it was used for exactly the right meaning in US terms.

[luckthebard]

I’m from the US and I’ve literally never heard someone use it in “US terms” before. I’m not even sure what the “US term” is supposed to mean.

It’s not included in the Wikipedia entry for the slang term, which only acknowledges it as a British slang term. Merriam-Webster only acknowledges its original meaning as related to time. The Cambridge dictionary actually only includes the UK slang meaning. Dictionary.com includes both the original meaning and the UK slang, with no supposed US version of the term acknowledged.

So excuuuuuuse me if a lot of people know this primarily UK slang term by its UK usage, given that it’s not widely used enough in the US for even native speakers or the internet to acknowledge an alternative slang usage.

[chandri]

Just so many possible magical blood sources to be making paint with. No matter they couldn't pin it down.

[chandri]

Okay I still can't tell whether Yanessa believes Teor took Wicander or knows Wick ran, somebody please please insight check her

[chandri]

I have a strong suspicion that the magic paint + Hallowed Round arrangement is part of Thjazi's second attempt to (I'm guessing) re-link the severed Shaper afterlives, or at least to somehow secure the Old Path safe from whatever Primus Tachonis is planning to do to destroy it. I'm imagining some kind of passive ritual involving the play and the imagination and engagement of the audience conjuring some great and powerful mythopoeic protection, which is not only very cool but Extremely On Brand for Brennan, and I'm very excited to find out what it looks like - but I am also sure that they're still missing a piece: either the Stone of Nightsong or the Pariah Blades, or both.

[chandri]

Okay, again, really, really, extremely not what that word means, Liam and Whitney...

[chandri]

...Brennan. I. I don't think they got it.

[chandri]

I'm so dumb is Hollis's mistress Grandma Lloy?? They're talking about turning the Pariah Blades into plowshares, guys, not the Stone of Nightsong!

Has Thaisha read that letter yet??

[chandri]

Okay one thing I am sure if is that the Sundered Houses don't know what Thjazi planned for the paint. The paint was part of his end-run around them. Maybe Halovar was sort of peripherally involved in the production, but I don't believe for a moment that what they thought Thjazi was doing is what he actually did. I also don't think a genuine servant of Halovar would have described the fouling of the vat of orc blood at Tannessar as "ruining something that deserved to be ruined."

[chandri]

Ohhhh is the paint orc blood??? Like the blood from the cauldron at Tannessar? Definitely better fits "what we ruined deserved to be ruined" than Grandpa Halovar. I have no idea why I never thought of that. Did I fall for a classic It's Too Obvious So Don't Look Over Here misdirect? 🤣

[utilitycaster]

I...do not think that's what the paint situation is? like I don't think it is at all? And I'm not sure why they think it is?

[captainofthetidesbreath]

I've been stuck on the blood because, like, there's no way it's blood from Aetheon, the Halovar celestial, because there's no way House Tachonis knows about that to even use it. And I don't think House Tachonis would be knocking over Filament shipments without House Halovar noticing. It's also known to be related to a river, so it can't be Aetheon. So where the fuck is it FROM.

[talonboot]

take my mermaid quiz boy

If you were a mermaid, what animal form would your lower half take? Are you a slithery eel, a powerful shark, or maybe a colorful reef fish?

[captorations]

pratchett will write an entire book about the grim reaper pretending to be santa claus while the grim reaper’s granddaughter goes about hunting down the dumbass who decided to kill santa, and then right when you think you’re done and the oddly pointed shenanigans are winding down he hits you with “humans need fantasy to be human. to be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape,” and knocks you into next wednesday

[catflowerqueen]

#YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT ARENT TRUE#HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME#god those words are engraved on my heart#gnu terry pratchett

[mxflint-original]

“Why does the third of the three brothers, who shares his food with the old woman in the wood, go on to become king of the country? Why does James Bond manage to disarm the nuclear bomb a few seconds before it goes off rather than, as it were, a few seconds afterwards? Because a universe where that did not happen would be a dark and hostile place. Let there be goblin hordes, let there be terrible environmental threats, let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope. It may be a grim, thin hope, an Arthurian sword at sunset, but let us know that we do not live in vain.”

[drgaellon]

GNU TERRY PRATCHETT

[hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon]

Gnu Terry Pratchett

[letslipthehounds]

GNU Terry Pratchett

[pricklylittleloaf]

GNU Terry Pratchett

[powersimon]

The carrier of carriers. A tribute to Terry Pratchett

[writergeekrhw]

GNU.

[skarabrae-stone]

“You took an oath to uphold the law and defend the citizens without fear or favor," said Vimes. "And to protect the innocent. That's all they put in. Maybe they thought those were the important things. Nothing in there about orders, even from me. You're an officer of the law, not a soldier of the government.” -- Night Watch, by Terry Pratchett