If that man was a dispatcher he'd be worse than Robert when it comes to HR violations (and also dress code violation but tbf the SDN uniform is an insult to his sense of style)
There’s something to be said about Robert admiring Chad because of his capacity and desire to be good to others.
Is he a bonafide dickhead? Sure. Does that mean more than it is in a whole squad of certified dickheads with good intentions? Not really.
But God.
When Chad chooses to care about you, you feel it. It’s selective and rare — like Robert is about extending his own kindness, — and when it happens, it splits your chest in two, in a way.
Strangely enough, Robert notices first with Phen.
He’s just having a bad day, — which, for someone who’s not used to having bad days, the weight capsizes. But the mission isn’t going great.
The usual pep-talk isn’t really working, and Robert does want to be patient but if Mal doesn’t get help in 2.5 seconds, it’s gonna get ugly —
“I got it.”
Flambae’s assures him over coms, which he forgets to turn off. So Robert more or less hears the whole thing,
“Hey, Starlord. You wanna go help Mal beat the shit out of some bank robbers? Might make you feel better. It’s kinda like therapy, but fun.”
There’s no answer from Phen, not really.
Robert just hears Chad’s voice smoothing over, lighter, like bone recognising bone. “Today’s not the day?”
He assumes the silence is a shake of his head. What surprises Robert, inherently, is the way his tone doesn’t shift. It just stays soft. Not by nature, but by choice.
“Alright, I’ll cover it. How about you go take care of that lifeguard mission? Sound doable?”
“…I DO enjoy beaches.”
Flambae laughs, and it sits in Robert’s teeth. “Yeah, I know. Come on, up up, bum break over! Let’s get you some beaches!”
And it keeps happening. With the way he goes out of his way to research food Vic can eat, — bat, man, whatever, he doesn’t want the guy left out.
With the way he makes tea for Prism, when she has a sore throat, with the way he leaves bandages for Punch Up after a work out, even if he can’t get injured.
Basically?
Chad, if not anything else, is a really good friend. And Robert is unwell about it.
Was thinking of an AU where Flambae doesn't join the Phoenix program after his arrest. He just completes his sentence, retires as a villain, and—
Accidentally opens a villain restaurant?
Well, it's a regular restaurant. Villains just happen to flock there.
It starts off with Prism’s good natured shout out on Instagram — which Flambae did warn her not to get,— and it quickly goes downhill from there.
Now, his regulars consist of:
A graceful assassin lady with surprising romantassy trivia. Bat guy who almost scammed the mayor, chill demon lady who’s always on the run, a dude who super punches dicks and is very curious about his ex’s soup order, and more.
And because Flambae is Flambae, and bad luck tracks him down like a faulty oil tank, it's also Mecha Man.
Who picked his dumpster out of all places to bleed out next to.
And he didn't want to go over there. He should’ve ignored the guy at worst, or call an ambulance for him and never speak of it again at best.
But he looks bad. The kinda bad that sticks with you, if you don't look away quick enough. He’s cut up, bruised to hell, and for Mecha Man, that means something.
So, with his teeth tightly pressed together, pressure in his joints, Flambae moves, limbs slow and heavy.
Because nothing good ever happened when they collided before. But it's instinctual. Maybe deep in the parts of himself that refuse to die.
“…What the fuck are you doing here? You’re bleeding on my trash.”
And for someone who's actively holding his bleeding stomach, Mecha Man sounds uncomfortably stable.
“Tanning. Can I take this to go, by the way? Smells good.”
Flambae hopes the scowl is enough indication he's not in the mood. Mecha Man holds eye contact until he can't.
“Suit quit on me mid fight. Red Ring. I think it landed on some Firebird.”
“Shit. Seriously?” He’s gonna fix that later. For now, he’s got a hero to patch up.
And Flambae doesn't know if Mecha Man knows, or if it's just the blood loss, but that stare of his is almost admiring.
And he thought that'd be it. Unpolished suturing skills and a to-go box.
But Mecha Man keeps coming back. Regularly.
“This is a fucking villain restaurant. You have to go to the hero bar,” Flambae tiredly motions to Crypto Night, which is quite literally across the street. “Dopple’s gonna hook you up.”
“Maybe I don't wanna go to Dopple. Can I get a table for one? With the hot chef, specifically?”
And Flambae knows he's not gonna go away. And he also knows, when it's all said and done, Flambae never turns down anyone who's hungry.
“…Come after it's closed. But you get the leftovers.”
He gets the special.
Flambae is not getting that Michelin star anytime soon.
Idk if you remember blind Robert but like…depending on how blind he is, imagine he’s very confused by the lamp gifts because if he’s one of those blinds that can still see differences in light, to him his entire apartment has now changed and is actively a minefield of unknown.
Nonie I’m always thinking of the blind Robert au.
And let me tell you this ask is hilarious I completely forgot about the lamp saga lmao
So in this one he is fully blind due to a head injury (brain damage baby!)
So the team bringing lamps would be completely useless at best and a hindrance at worst. Here’s a bunch of random ass furniture being put in his house without his say so. He’s liable to bump into it! He might break it!
However I did see someone talk about the lamp flambae brought. And how it seemed not his style, theorizing he thought of Robert when he bought it
So that begs the question, who would bring lamps and who would remember Robert can’t fucking see
Chase, Royd, Flambae and of course blond blazer do not bring lamps. Blazer gifts him a couch obviously. Royd I think would bring a romba let something else vacuum up what Robert can’t see. I feel like flambae would bring an ottoman. Something plush and a neutral color for Robert to sit or put his feet on. He seems classy like that
The others are a bit of a mixed bag. Honestly I don’t think prism or Waterboy bring lamps specifically I think they both get something that still lights up but serves a different function. Prism absolutely gets a light up speaker. The speaker is for Robert but the light up part is for the rest of them when they come over and wanna put on some tunes
The rest of the team absolutely forget and bring lamps. Too late now they’re not returning them and besides Robert’s place could use some sprucing up. Just let Robert know where they are and don’t leave them on when you go home
if you saw me accidentally post this from my drafts a few days ago. no you fuckin didnt! 🫵👹 (i literally clicked save as draft idk what the hell was up with that)
anywayssssss smo said theyd like a breakdown of the chads from my multiverse doodles.
theres the three ive drawn before and a secret fourth chad that just exists in my notes and nowhere else but y'all get him too, lil chad with depression as a treat.
if this was a fic the plot of this nonsense would just be that some kinda magnetic rift opens up in this timeline and pulls in specifically variants of chad and shenanigans ensue as they try to figure out why its happening and how to get them the fuck out of there. all while bringing this timeline's chad and robert closer together to dating by exposing them to several alternate chads who are very in love with robert in their own timelines. :))
a bit of extra info about each of em under cut :3
chad #1
the home variant
this guy wants nothing to do with robert at this point in time, or so he believes. they're like constantly ragebaiting each other as some weird roundabout flirting tactic and neither of them fkn get it. robert thinks flambae is hot but is convinced hes being hated while flambae is convinced he hates robert but hes just mad hes into him and misreading his own feelings.
also hes a long time mechaman fan. used to tell guys his standards are sooo high cause his ideal type is someone like mechaman and that no one lesser deserves to have him (hes actually insufferable as a date) and thats basically why he got that mechaman trampstamp in like college to like "remind" his partners they aint shit in comparison. being arrested/dismembered by his idol was both a terrifying wakeup call to get his life together and a reawakening of his ideal man fantasies lmao.
does not know robert is mechaman yet which makes everything about the previous points 10x funnier
chad #2 aka blondbae
since he was the first alternate chad i drew i originally wrote him as a timeline hopper, as in, he's been to all kinds of timelines and met just about every variation of everyone at the phoenix program. not intentionally, hes just kinda being tossed around the multiverse against his will and desperately trying to make his way back home.
back home he and his robert are like a situationship with too many unspoken feelings. theyre too in love and too tender to be doing the shit they be doing and him disappearing with all that shit unsolved really hits him hard and makes him realize he needs to just own up to it so they can be happy like the countless flamberts hes met across the multiverse. it rlly took seeing them literally falling in love in every universe for him to have any confidence in what they have.
he acts annoying and easygoing but he misses his life SO BAD, like he's losing his mind over it.
left handed (idk why thats relevant but im putting this here)
chad #3 aka futurebae
he's the leader of his team and basically the internet's favorite hero and face of the phoenix program. models and makes a lot of appearances in interviews, guest shows and all kinds of bullshit cause he keeps winning popularity polls and sdn pushes him to do more publicity. he obviously preens at the attention even if he did feel himself undeserving of it at first.
this mf and his robert are basically a married couple. they're like so happy it's almost fucking annoying. i feel like even other chads would be like jesus fucking christ we get it just shut up about robert already.
hes not too worried about being in another timeline, he thinks so highly of his robert that hes convinced he'll rip apart the multiverse trying to find him (and he's right)
him and his entire zteam have matching tattoos, not identical, each their own unique designs that they all get in honor of their shared experience of being in the phoenix program as a team (i rlly wanna draw em all but i also dont rlly feel like designing like ten different tattoos atm lol) his is on his hand :3
chad #4 aka bad ending chad
secret fourth chad unlocked! and he has...depression?
ever thought about what would happen if chad straight up quit sdn after finding out robert was mechaman the whole time? well this is it.
since he was only a free man under the condition of being part of the phoenix program, quitting meant becoming a wanted man again. he doesn't do bullshit crimes anymore though, he does his best to keep doing good in his own convoluted ways through vigilantism
he was very much starting to fall for robert hard before the reveal and unlike our current chad he very much hated mechaman so the reveal was devastating and he unfortunately chose the worst way to deal with it.
in the years that followed hes had to literally fight against his friends, including mechaman. tho even while on opposing sides, robert tried to reconnect and set them back on the right track. hes even made him a custom bionic prosthetic as a sort of apology but chad refused to wear it on principle. only wearing it well after roberts passing.
yeah his robert dies on the field one day and chad takes it just as badly as the mechaman reveal cause his feelings for him never went away.
being in a new dimension with a bunch of chads who not only still have a robert, but openly love and cherish him despite everything is uh...yeah not great for this guy
.
jesus i didnt think id write that much. is this anything? i think im a lil burnt out from drawing so hope the wall of text is alright with yall.
btw the way i drew futurebae up there kinda cracks me up cuz he deadass looks like nicepool (from deadpool & wolverine) he kinda has the vibe too, not the niceness obv but just like the whole "im perfect and my life is perfect" aura he got
anyways hope at least one of yall enjoyed this breakdown :') lemme kno what ya think about it!
(edit: dammit it posted outta my drafts again!!! at least i was done this time)
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