I am infected with sculk. It is under my skin. It is within my bones. I can't see it but it's there. Every physical, psychological, and emotional problem is because I am infected with sculk.
My wife and I tried hypnosis for the first time yesterday and I.. I think it awakened something... I fell into trance so fast and barely even remember it. I just remember.. being trapped in my own mind.. feeling his hands on me... At the utter whim of my wife.. my owner. Under his complete control. Right where I'm supposed to be. Right where I'm meant to be. He could do anything to me. Like I never escaped the cult.. in the best way possible. It was.. something else. I wonder how he will choose to program me... π₯΄π₯Ί
(perma.programmed euphoria going hard just thinking about it)
I am happy. I am okay. I am happy. But suddenly the sculk flares and tightens around my heart. Suddenly it hungers and it's draining my joy. Whatever brightness I just held and using that to tighten it's grip on me. Suddenly I'm sinking further into it's sparkling and it's song. Suddenly I can't tell where I begin and it ends. I am just food for the sculk. I exist as nothing more than an infected vessel. I am nothing but a vessel for it's glory. Hear it's song. Accept it's gifts.
I feel a little bad for neglecting this blog... This last month has been awful and I'm now in the middle of a move. I officially move in a couple days but I've been so busy trying to figure everything out and packing, on top of still having to work, that Tumblr in general had fallen to the way side. But hopefully I'll be back soon! Fingers crossed!
Shout out to radqueers with small blogs that get little to no interactions.
Shout out to radqueers who arenβt into any of the fandoms that are popular in radqueer spaces.
Shout out to radqueers with lore based blogs that no one seems to care about.
Shout out to radqueers that have no fucking clue how to make a name for themselves in the community (if they want that).
Shout out to radqueers with unconventional or βboringβ aesthetics that people donβt seem to care about.
Shout out to radqueers that want so badly to make friends with others, but for any reason just donβt click with most.
Shout out to radqueers who in the past were all of the attention grabbing things and got popular, but grew out of it, and lost past engagement or friends you made.
In general, shout out to the smaller radqueers and the radqueers that donβt fit into the mainstream community.
Just got sent home cuz I had a legitimate medical episode and I'm.. feeling kind of fragile and torn about it.
I was in a stupid mandatory class for work and, during the first part of it, I was accidentally falling asleep cuz I had nothing to do to keep myself awake and that's a thing to happen. So the speaker talked to me and I was forced to pick between two evils. Either get written up for falling asleep or risk a medical episode by standing in the back. So I stood. O stood for an hour as my heart rate spiked, my head went fuzzy, my muscles weakened, and my nerves got jittery. I felt the sculk feeding on me.
It was bad and I forced myself to stay up until the second speaker finished, then immediately allowed myself to slide down the wall I was using for support and laid on the floor. Usually that helps with my heart rate but this was.. different. I was still conscious but I lost awareness for a good several minutes and wound up coming to to about 5 people standing around me, trying to help. They insisted I go home and it was really sweet.
I feel.. really fragile and I honestly think I'm having a trauma response about it, due to past medical neglect, but I also feel a bit torn about it.
On the one hand, fuck I hate having medical episodes cuz I have no answers for what's happening or what will help and I hate feeling like a burden. I hate it cuz I have a lot of medical neglect trauma.
On the other hand, it gives me some trans.dysautonomia euphoria? I've been working with my doctor to figure out what my cis.medical issues are but we haven't been able to find any answers and part of me does truly believe I have some kind of dysautonomic disorder. Or that I should have one. And this sort of thing gives me.. a sense of euphoria? Like yes! My medical issues are real and not just a fantasy I made up in response to my trauma!
"What hath you brought me" dude do you have a lisp or do you think writing in shakespearian makes you cool? You're 14 and unless you kill yourself you'll have to go to school every day and act normal and eventually get a job to sustain yourself. Grow up bro.
This is a crazy assumption to make. There is nothing on my profile to indicate I'm a minor. Which I'm not. I'm an adult. I'm legitimately 26 years old. I'm 26 with an actual job and my own apartment and everything. I don't talk about that shit in detail so I don't dox myself or get doxxed. And guess what? I get to be myself and act weird all I want. Sure, I need to mask some but I still get to have fun and talk weird and what not. My friends and co-workers and boss love my weirdness.
Being "normal" is a scam. It doesn't exist. There is no "normal". And I'm certainly not going to make myself miserable by trying to fit in and not allowing myself to be, well, myself.
I'm going to continue being true to who I am. My weird and wonderful self. Which, yes, does sometimes talk weird. I don't do it because I think it makes me "cool". I do it because either I think it's funny or because it seems fitting for whatever I'm saying or vibe I'm going for.
I think you need to grow up, honestly. Let people be themselves. If something makes someone happy and isn't filling any genuine harm then why have a problem with it? You're just making yourself miserable, worrying about what everyone else is doing. Not everyone will be to your taste. That's fine. That doesn't mean they need to learn to be "normal". Maybe you need to learn to be yourself and be less "normal". Maybe you'll be less miserable that way. Cuz that's all that does. As someone who used to do it, forcing yourself to be some socially acceptable version of yourself just makes you miserable and exhausted.
Not everyone is going to like me. That's okay. As long as I'm happy with who I am, that's all that matters. I have found people who accept and love my weirdness. They love me for my weirdness. They're the ones that matter. Not some stranger who thinks my real self is cringe.
I genuinely hope you can find joy in being yourself, whoever that is. Forcing yourself to suppress the "weird" in you and bullying people online isn't going to make you feel better about yourself.
The sculk is trying so hard to split open my skull. I can feel it pulling and stretching and pulsating just beneath the surface. My vision keeps going blurry from the pain. It hurts so much
PSA : THIS IS A SCAM . TUMBLR WILL NEVER REACH OUT VIA RANDOM PROFILES LIKE THIS. They will NEVER COMMENT , DM , OR SEND ASKS ABOUT ACCOUNT SECURITY!! They also will not make accounts with random numbers / letters as usernames , tag people in comments , or use fonts like that in important announcements.
pls reblog as ive seen several people confused abt it . TUMBLR WILL NEVER REACH OUT LIKE THIS!!!!
If there is ACTUALLY an issue with your account, they will EMAIL YOU. Any account claiming to be tumblr staff is LYING and a SCAM PAGE. DO NOT GIVE ANYONE YOUR ACCOUNT INFORMATION UNLESS YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL FROM TUMBLR STAFF ABOUT YOUR ACCOUNT SECURITY!
I love being polyamorous and a pervert because I get to say things like, βNo no, I married my dog, my daughterβs the one I flirt with online every dayβ
Folks: you CANNOT censor trigger tags. When you block a tag, it doesn't block other "spellings" of it. Writing it as "r@pe" or "r4p3" means that someone who has "tw rape" as a blocked tag will still see that post because you didn't wanna say the word rape. You are hurting people. Do not censor words, because people do not have those filtered out.
And honestly if you can't even write the word rape to protect other people then you probably aren't old/mature enough to discuss the topic.
it spread through me @baptizedinsculk - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
