Unfiltered

Don’t wear shoes, they/them

[barefeet-only]

Affliction of Blood Master Post

Prompt/Prologue: It's Just the Spice in My Eyes

Ch 1: Say Shawarma Right Now

Ch 2: I promise the Tea Isn't Poisoned

Ch 3: Shakespeare in the Park Got Nothing on This

[vampiresdontsleep]

[autismfox]

Someone else come fuck that guy for me

[thenyanguardparty]

[barefeet-only]

I love finally going to the doctors office after months of chronic pain just for my body to be like, so would you like to feel mostly normal today? Mild pain? Would that be good for you? And I’m sitting here like STOP GASLIGHTING ME WHILE IM ACTIVELY GETTING EXAMINED

[barefeet-only]

Something that always makes me laugh in fan fictions is when someone orders a soda in a bar and everyone looks at them crazy. Like, do y’all not know how common it is to just get mixers with no alcohol? Maybe it’s just because I used to be a bartender but everytime I read a ff and someone gives a face because a character orders a Pepsi or something it throws me so hard lmao

[barefeet-only]

Project Hail Mary was so fucking good, Hollywood give me more hopeful movies please

[barefeet-only]

I need more social media fics of people reacting to Hollanov but their reaction is man why did Hollander settle for Rozanov? Like this man is canonically the hottest man in the MHL, but for some reason all the social media fics are like why Hollander.

I need people to be like damn somehow Rozanov bagged a ten. He’s so lucky it’s not fair. Etc etc

[escuerzoresucitado]

[barefeet-only]

It’s so funny to me that they said Shane was Japanese in the show because Hudson is the most Korean looking man I have ever seen lmao. From what I’ve heard in the books, which type of Asian Shane is never really is that important so I don’t get why they wouldn’t change it. It just threw me so hard when Iliya was like your mom is Japanese or something. Because I’m staring at Shane like “babe you gotta correct him”

[barefeet-only]

Hot take maybe but I don’t think that Shane was always so uptight. Like I don’t think he was as strict on the diet or the drinking during the season when he was younger. I imagine teenage Shane probably did do underage drinking and ate burgers. But as he got past his rookie season and the pressure externally and internally from his public and private life was getting higher and higher he started getting stricter.

[polartss]

”genetic” girl WHATEVERRRRR

[sheisraging]

Ilya trying to keep a doped up Shane from airing all their laundry is so special to me.

[barefeet-only]

It's the shushing for me. But also Shane is locking-in in the background pretending to be all serious. I love these two dorks so much

[barefeet-only]

I need more fluffy bilingual struggles Heated Rivalry fanfics. Like I want Shane to be sitting on the couch talking to Iliya being like “can you pass me the -“ and completely forget the English word remote. He just sits there like trying to buffer through that he completely just switches to French and spits out “télécommande!” in frustration and Iliya is sitting there like ???? But also cackling because this is the first time he’s ever seen Shane make a mistake in English.

Or you can have Iliya talking with Shane like “God that hideous hanging glass should just fall down and spare the people from seeing it.” And Shane is just left there mouthing “hanging glass?” Until it clicks for him like “Chandelier?!”

Even better Shane is staring at Iliya one day and just has to get his feelings out. But Iliya understands English and what he feels can’t be captured by the language so he just softly murmurers “⁠大好きです” to him while Iliya is asleep.

[speedlimit15]

why didn’t gandalf just carry the ring to mordor himself with these tongs

[speedlimit15]

like i’m picturing him being really careful and looking at it and carrying it exactly like this while walking or riding through the woods and across rivers and up mountains and through valleys and he doesn’t drop it even once except at the very end where he tidily drops it into the volcano. frodo sam and the crew and even gollum wholly undisturbed. sauron can’t find him bc of the meditative aura surrounding him which is generated by his immense focus on not dropping it

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

World's most tense egg and spoon race

[green-great-dragon]

this somehow became the funniest thing on earth in my head and I had to draw it so

[barefeet-only]

DpxDC

Danny has favorite cities (in America, mostly) to haunt. It’s just something he does for fun when getting chased around Amity gets too boring and also he’s a grown ass adult with free will. His cities to hunt list from least favorite to most goes like this:

5. Metropolis, city is too boring and clean. The alien in charge there is cool and will chat with him if he finds Danny. However the people there never react to him, probably because they are more concerned about which building is gonna collapse next.

4. Gotham, the city is already haunted and Batman is kinda mean to him. The people there are super jaded to haunting can be really hard there but the spooky atmosphere puts it higher on the list. Danny isn’t sure why but whenever he talks to a batfam member they always seem super critical if he’s actually a ghost or not, which isn’t really fun when you’re trying to haunt someone.

3. That random cult in the mountains. Sometimes when Danny takes a natural portal out of the Ghost Zone he ends up in one of these mountain cult locations across the world. Since they seem to be the same group every time they get grouped together as one location in Danny’s mind. Cult always freaks out when Danny shows up and it never fails to make him cackle. If they weren’t so creepy Danny might seek them out on his own but alas he only goes there when the portals mess up.

2. Bludhaven, like Gotham haunted af. However, the people there actually respond to him whenever he does spooky shit so that puts it almost to the top in Danny’s heart. The hero there is funny too so whenever he gets called to Danny’s location because the person who is being terrorized can’t take it anymore, Danny isn’t too heart broken to haunt him instead.

1. Central City, holy shit does Danny love to haunt here. The main heroes (Flashes) don’t believe in the supernatural at all. Every time Danny shows up they are convinced it’s either coincidence, completely explainable science, or a metahuman. Danny has never even shown these guys his face because it’s just too funny to watch them freak out. He barely messes with the civilians here because even though they freak out, watching the Flash try to rationalize why a hotdog is chasing him around at high speed is 10x funnier. 1000/10 highly recommend.

Least favorite city: London, sad fucking middle aged twink in a trench coat exorcised him on his trip and it hurt like a bitch. Danny ran away because the guy wouldn’t let him explain plus he was a massive prick about the exorcism. Will never go there again, or might wait 30 years when the guy is probably dead to explore without the threat of having to hear that bitch ass ever again.

[barefeet-only]

I think the thing that makes me laugh about Vox the most is that he died to a tv falling on his head. This mainly comes down to my dad having a tv falling on his head as a kid and he’s told me in depth how much damage it did to him. So every time I think about Vox dying I just giggle because he died while my nine year old father lived and likes the being up the story any time he can

[barefeet-only]

What I’d give for Z-team to find an old photo of Robert from like a year or two ago and see he’s like 20 lbs heavier with twice the muscle mass he has now. And they’re just like, “Bitch? The fuck happened to you that you look like sad Tom Cruise?”

Cue Robert just looking up from his computer sipping a coffee like “You guys know I was in a coma for months right? You tend to atrophy real quick when you aren’t moving around for long periods of time.”

[st4rrocked]

After Hours