I wish I put as much effort into my life as Phil Collins did into the Tarzan soundtrack

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@barockyroad
I wish I put as much effort into my life as Phil Collins did into the Tarzan soundtrack
i think the minimum wage should be 10000 dollars
Per what
second
i realize this is about turning 30 but my brain keeps saying it’s about the Dust Bowl happening again but in the 2030s
u ever have cravings that are like “you WILL eat a rice krispies treat or there will be consequences. you have 24 hours”
[puts several things in my coat pockets] inventory
me in a pet store: i’d like to speak with your manager
cashier: what’s the problem?
me: you have ratatollie over there in a cage with no equipment… nothing to cook… you think these are fair living conditions? he lives to cook
Are you there god It’s me your bastard child
(Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan)
he makes a serious point here
who was i before i found out i had adhd. Like Oh my almost never works but im fine
i got distracted and accidentally omitted the word Brain. this post was performance art
when ur drunk any bathroom is a save point
i have no memory of writing this
never trust a person who talk to their pets in their normal voice
NOT TRUE before my nephew leaves my home he always looks my dog straight in the eye and says “Delilah. You are a wonderful woman. Have a good day.”
socks on Christmas
8 year old me: what the fuck I said I wanted toys
me now: *crying* thank you.. thank you sweet christ my feet are always so cold.. so very very cold
Promoted
my wife: i’m leaving you
me: why?
my wife: you feel the need to use the alignment chart in every aspect of life and i can’t take it anymore
me, quietly: lawful evil behavior
I like ginger ale. Light carbonation and flavor… it’s a neat little drink lol
no, ginger ale.
no the post is tea
it’s about ginger ale