Joel (AKA Barpie)

abandoned blog, message me for new blog name!

[barpies-blunderland]

hey? friendly reminder: you are

NOT.

ALLOWED.

TO REBLOG.

MY POSTS.

IF YOU ARE A PROSHIPPER.

if i find out you are a proshipper and you have reblogged my post, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY and TOLD TO DELETE MY POST.

NO EXCEPTIONS.

[barpies-blunderland]

well, congratulations! you’ve won. i’m leaving this blog because i know that i am not going to be left the fuck alone. message me if you’d like to know what it is!! i’m not going to put it here because, well, obviously.

i don’t care if im letting them win, i have better things to do with my life, and im literally just fifteen year old who wants to be left alone.

sayonara, you ugly motherfuckers.

and to my mutuals and followers, goodbye my sweet lovely angels i love you so much smoochies.

[barpies-blunderland]

OKAY. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE NOW. I’M FIFTEEN. YOU’RE ALL ADULTS.  DON’T YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO BE DOING? I DIDN’T HARASS ANYONE. YOU’RE THE ONES ACTIVELY GOING AFTER ME. PLEASE JUST STOP. I’M BEGGING AT THIS POINT. IT’S BEEN AN HOUR AND IT’S ALREADY TERRIBLE PLEASE JUST STOP.

[barpies-blunderland]

Fiction affects reality on a 1:1 basis because every time I watch Hannibal I go out and murder/eat the first person I see. And it didn’t even occur to me to be attracted to my twin brother until I watched GoT but hey an idea is an idea and I have no other life experiences informing my moral choices.

Dude, sometimes things are symbolic. Sometimes the younger character in an age gap fic is your younger self. Sometimes it’s an abstract concept of innocence. Sometimes the rapist is the concept of capitalism fucking you over made literal. Sometimes a cigar is more than a cigar and I’m sick of people sticking to knee jerk simplistic reactions.

People don’t “address the harm these things have done” because it’s fucking obvious that this shit is terrible irl. I don’t begin every post with “well obviously I have to address the fact that abuse/grooming is real and I don’t condone it” bc I know my target audience is here to fantasize about that teacher they had a crush on in high school and what would’ve happened if they had kissed at prom, and those disclaimers kill the fucking mood.

oh great, we've got a fuckin english professor in here. listen pal, i'm gonna give it to you straight.

i don't give a fuck.

no, seriously. what, did you expect a dignified response? i'll let you in on a little secret: i'm not the bigger person.

anyways, you're telling me things i already know. don't talk to me like i'm fucking stupid. i already said that i have the capability to look at things with nuance. you're allowed to write darkfic, you're allowed to write about terrible things. but portraying them in a positive light, for any reason, is fucked up. i don't care if you wanted to bone mr. jenkins in freshman year, keep it to yourself. write, sure, but don't fucking post it, you freak. because it's not you anymore. that stand-in isn't actually you or your audience. it's a character you made/a character from something you like that's supposed to be a minor.

i like darkfic. it's cool, and it opens up interesting storylines and possibilities. but that's not darkfic. that's just really fucked up wish fulfillment. you can write whatever you want, dude, i can't stop you. seriously, i cannot stop you. but you don't have to post everything you write for the whole world to see.

freedom of action, not freedom of consequence. you can do whatever you want, but so can everyone else. you write weird things, don't be surprised when people start calling you names and making fun of your bedroom fantasies.

because allow me to remind you: there's such a thing as private information. your fucked-up fantasies are one of them. i don't mean to be that guy, but social media is a space filled with minors. it's 13 ad up. if you wouldn't want a thirteen year old to see it, take it somewhere else.

also, put the disclaimer, pussy. i don't care if it ruins the mood.

tl;dr- don't patronize me, you piece of shit, go fuck yourself.

[barpies-blunderland]

hey. ive been seeing an influx of proshippers reblogging/liking my content, so let me explain something real quick for all of you.

i’m not an anti shipper. i’m an intelligent human being with reason who knows that things should be looked at with nuance, and i know that you can’t die on literally every hill. but i’m sure as shit not a proshipper.

it is scientifically proven that what you’re all doing is going to fuck you over. you’re just pavloving yourselves into bringing this shit into the real world. you might “not condone it” now, but soon you will. because that’s just how human brains work. and just because something’s a coping mechanism doesn’t make it a good one.

fiction does affect reality. every time you’ve been scared by a horror movie, or cried because your favorite character died- that’s fiction affecting reality. have you ever started dressing or talking a certain way because you like a character? that’s also fiction affecting reality. everyone and everything is affected by fiction. that’s how propaganda is a thing.

your arguments are null. all your left with is your own fucked up actions now. i cant make you stop doing anything. and i honestly don’t care. but i know that it’s not just this. call me accusatory all you want, but you are turning yourself into a monster. that’s just how this works. and i am sorry for most of you. you’re around my age and you were groomed into this. adult proshippers, all of them, are groomers. yeah, i don’t care, i’ll accuse them of that.

this isn’t an issue of censorship or purity culture like you try to make it out to be. it’s an issue of real life things that hurt real life people, and people refusing to acknowledge that. ive been hurt by this, so have thousands and thousands of other people. even if i’m wrong, you are still hurting real people. if you don’t care, then fine. but that does give everyone actual reason to want you off of whatever site you’re on.

anyways, rant over. all that being said.

stop reblogging my fucking posts, you freaks.

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

Dude living downstairs has been loudly rapping for like 10 minutes, then suddenly did a high pitched scream, and now its silent down there

[postnuclearophelia]

he got raptured

[barpies-blunderland]

hey! how are you today? 👀

sighs what do you want

[barpies-blunderland]

HAPPY 413!!!! homestuck is 13 years old now this is so fucked up

[barpies-blunderland]

starting hunter x hunter today. please let me know if i’m making a grave mistake

[lowqualityhomestuckedits]

Karkat is the reason Gibby died

KAR BATTERY!

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Kanaya: What’s Wrong With Les Mis?

Rose: Victor Hugo failed in his duty to visit a psychic before writing it who would have warned him that 150 years in the future his decision to include nine shippable twinks as minor characters in his magnum opus would lead to the development of one of the most insufferable fandoms of the twenty first century

[barpies-blunderland]

i have no fucking clue why i hold this opinion that i do. like, it will always elude me as to why. because he seems like the type of character i’d be all over.

but i just like. sorta hate sollux

and there’s no reason for it either??? like i love aradia and feferi, the lowbloods are based as fuck, i love mituna, i just don’t like sollux. i’m a proud sollux disliker. i just think he’s mid. i also think he’s ugly as balls, but i think saying that would get me swatted so. whatever.

anyways here’s a sollux hate post like to power him up reblog to kill him again

[barpies-blunderland]

the next installment in the yeaststuck story and the life of yeastradia

her creation

yeastradia is a lovely little sourdough starter that i’m going to inevitably murder by baking, i’m so excited

[barpies-blunderland]

a young yeast stands in her bedroom. it just so happens that today, april 4th 2022 is this yeast’s first birthday- thus she will be given a name. what will the name of this young yeast be?

a fucking homestuck joke.

anyways i’m doing a school project where we have a “pet” yeast dough and i named mine aradia.

so said hello to my daughter yeastradia. i’ll be posting updates on her

[saintsatellite-deactivated20240]

i hope everyone is ready to celebrate International Down With Cis day on April 4th.

[kraftpunk]

[stretchscreamers-news]

Just thought I’d fucking Gnome all my idiot followers

[barpies-blunderland]

not homestuck related but tumblr has officially convinced to start OFMD. starting it today wish me luck my fellow queers