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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@bartokthederpy
Bartok couldn’t help the snicker that left him and he raised an eyebrow at Mickey. “Hot dog? That made you sound more gay. Be happy I’m a nice guy, that could’ve been worse.”
"…What?" Mickey raised an eyebrow at the other and tilted his head at Bartok. "Why do hot dogs make me sound gay? I like hot dogs."
"Uhmmmmm.....it's nothing," said Bartok with a grin, still chuckling slightly. "It's fine, you're good, of course you like hot dogs, it's fine."
"Thought so. Good that I was right," said Bartok with a soft laugh. "And I use cinnamon incense just because I really like it, but it all depends on what your favorite smell is."
"Hm… I wonder if they do hot dog incense. But, then again, that’ll probably just make me hungry."
Bartok couldn't help the snicker that left him and he raised an eyebrow at Mickey. "Hot dog? That made you sound more gay. Be happy I'm a nice guy, that could've been worse."
"Didn’t think you would, but sometimes it’s the innocent ones you have to watch out for," said Bartok with a soft chuckle. "Honest about the incense though, it helps. I use it a lot. And hot chocolate is a good idea."
"Well, bud. I don’t think you have much to worry about with me. I’m pretty good at keeping myself occupied when I want to. And incense? What kind?"
"Thought so. Good that I was right," said Bartok with a soft laugh. "And I use cinnamon incense just because I really like it, but it all depends on what your favorite smell is."
Mickey laughed a little at the advice and held his hands in front of him, giving the other a small grin. “Uhm, thanks for the advice pal, but I really don’t think I’ll be using weed to relax. I’ll stick with hot chocolate for now.”
"Didn't think you would, but sometimes it's the innocent ones you have to watch out for," said Bartok with a soft chuckle. "Honest about the incense though, it helps. I use it a lot. And hot chocolate is a good idea."
"Exactly. Just chill. Doesn’t have to be as chill as that guy Callum, but every once in a while, you need to get out of it," Bartok advised. "And when things are too stressful? Handle it calmly, then go and chill out. You don’t have to make everyone else calm, but you need to do it to yourself."
Mickey smiled a little towards the other and then nodded softly. “Okay. I guess I can do that. Just… chill out.”
"There you go!" said Bartok with a grin. "Now, just...official disclaimer, even though I know you won't do part of it. No weed, but I can tell you that incense is pretty damn effective. Just as a tip since I don't think you've really put much thought into relaxing."
"You should stay single until you find someone stable or Nuka gets that way, yeah," said Bartok simply, shrugging again. "And by toxic I mean things that you know will make you sad. I mean, I used to try to talk to my parents but I stopped once I realized that every time I...
"Exactly. Just chill. Doesn't have to be as chill as that guy Callum, but every once in a while, you need to get out of it," Bartok advised. "And when things are too stressful? Handle it calmly, then go and chill out. You don't have to make everyone else calm, but you need to do it to yourself."
Happy. The kid just wanted happy. But goddamn, Bartok had never heard a more unrealistic idea in his whole life. And he had a technologically impaired Russian grandma who had tried getting apps on a rotary phone. But he couldn’t tell Mickey that. Quietly, he took a breath,...
"You should stay single until you find someone stable or Nuka gets that way, yeah," said Bartok simply, shrugging again. "And by toxic I mean things that you know will make you sad. I mean, I used to try to talk to my parents but I stopped once I realized that every time I did I only got upset. That's what toxic is. When you're never happy by the time it's over."
"Yeah, but there’s always something real about cartoons. Little dudes like us can be tough if we try," responded Bartok, sitting nearby. "Well do it anyway, it’s obviously no good if you aren’t."
Mickey stared over at Bartok and then rubbed gently at the back of his neck,...
Happy. The kid just wanted happy. But goddamn, Bartok had never heard a more unrealistic idea in his whole life. And he had a technologically impaired Russian grandma who had tried getting apps on a rotary phone. But he couldn't tell Mickey that. Quietly, he took a breath, then looked at Mickey. "Well that's what we all want, isn't it? I want my family okay, I want all of that. But Mickey, some things that are broken can't be fixed. And being happy all the time? You can't. Nobody can. I know it sucks, but it's life. There are people who aren't happy and there are things you can't fix fully. Like family. Like Nuka's mental state. If you want freedom, I say don't tie yourself down until you're sick of it. And then come back and work for your happy and don't get around all that toxic shit. That's not going to help." And then Bartok shrugged. It had all made sense to him. If Mickey didn't get it, he'd have to figure out something for himself.
Bartok sighed. “Mice can be tough too, you’ve never seen Tom and Jerry. And you know what? You can’t lose me, you didn’t have me to begin with. Go on, vent. Tell me about everything so it doesn’t trip you up later. What do you want?”
"Tom and Jerry is a cartoon." Mickey...
"Yeah, but there's always something real about cartoons. Little dudes like us can be tough if we try," responded Bartok, sitting nearby. "Well do it anyway, it's obviously no good if you aren't."
"Yes I do think you can," said Bartok seriously. "I think you can go in there and look him in the eyes and tell him you’re sorry but you can be friends. Stop thinking about what if because that didn’t happen. He’s alive and he needs someone right now and you’re the guy for...
Bartok sighed. "Mice can be tough too, you've never seen Tom and Jerry. And you know what? You can't lose me, you didn't have me to begin with. Go on, vent. Tell me about everything so it doesn't trip you up later. What do you want?"
Bartok was quiet. This didn’t seem all that complicated for him, but he had plans for everything. “You don’t have to get back together with him. Go in there as a friend. Like you haven’t dated. Clean slate. He’ll get it. He might be a little hurt, he might say some sad...
"Yes I do think you can," said Bartok seriously. "I think you can go in there and look him in the eyes and tell him you're sorry but you can be friends. Stop thinking about what if because that didn't happen. He's alive and he needs someone right now and you're the guy for the job. You're tougher than you think you are."
"You will be able to," said Bartok simply. "I looked in earlier, I was curious. He’s been up, he’s got one line and you can barely notice because he won’t stop hugging a pillow. He’s mostly stable, wasn’t crying. Hasn’t been crying. You’ll be able to handle it, Mickey....
Bartok was quiet. This didn't seem all that complicated for him, but he had plans for everything. "You don't have to get back together with him. Go in there as a friend. Like you haven't dated. Clean slate. He'll get it. He might be a little hurt, he might say some sad stuff, but I know Nuka, and he'll just be thankful he has a friend right now."
Bartok bit his lip. This whole thing was really painful, and he hadn’t even been there for it. “Well…I know you don’t know me too well, but I know you and Nuka. I think you can fix all this. Go to the infirmary later, talk to him. Maybe just start from being friends again. But...
"You will be able to," said Bartok simply. "I looked in earlier, I was curious. He’s been up, he’s got one line and you can barely notice because he won’t stop hugging a pillow. He’s mostly stable, wasn’t crying. Hasn’t been crying. You’ll be able to handle it, Mickey. You’ve just gotta be strong for him."
"You did?" Bartok was in slight disbelief. They had been so happy, what had gone wrong? "Well it wasn’t just you, you know. It was the rest of us too. Nobody is there for him…But I didn’t think he’d need it…"
"Well I was there for him… And I started pulling myself away a-and it just… it made him feel like he wanted to take his own life away… I should’ve just… stopped doubting things."
Bartok bit his lip. This whole thing was really painful, and he hadn't even been there for it. "Well...I know you don't know me too well, but I know you and Nuka. I think you can fix all this. Go to the infirmary later, talk to him. Maybe just start from being friends again. But you'll be able to fix it."
Bartok didn’t need him to say it. He had seen the ambulance and Nuka going in. “You think that was you? I doubt it.”
"…Bartok, I more or less broke up with him." Mickey responded, immediately feeling the guilt whack him in the stomach again. "I mean, that’s not what I was intending to happen, but things just got real intense and it just… it just happened."
"You did?" Bartok was in slight disbelief. They had been so happy, what had gone wrong? "Well it wasn't just you, you know. It was the rest of us too. Nobody is there for him...But I didn't think he'd need it..."
"What did you do, Mickey?"
"I… I made Nuka… I made him… I can’t even say it."
Bartok didn't need him to say it. He had seen the ambulance and Nuka going in. "You think that was you? I doubt it."
"I-It’s all my fault… I did this."
"What did you do, Mickey?"
