Baz Pitch

Simon Snow DNI

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

vampires who volunteer at nursing homes so they can meet people their own age

[basiltonpitch]

Snow is lying in bed across from me, huffing and puffing. Thumbs violently tapping against his keyboard. It really is so easy to get him worked up.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

Actually, I'm fighting goat haters on the internet. And people who think scones taste bad. Nice try though <3

[basiltonpitch]

Of course the golden boy never fails to come to the defense of the weak, or inanimate it seems.

[basiltonpitch]

Snow is lying in bed across from me, huffing and puffing. Thumbs violently tapping against his keyboard. It really is so easy to get him worked up.

[basiltonpitch]

I wish you weren’t an insufferable, incorrigible stubborn nightmare of a boy. I truly wish you’d believe me. Maybe then you’d see how he’s hurt too.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if we were on the same team.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

I can help you find who killed your mum, Baz. If you want. Prove the Mage innocent and avenge your mum at the same time. A real, proper truce. Not one about being straight or a vampire.

[basiltonpitch]

Fine. Truce. I’m not letting my feelings about the Mage go, but perhaps I can be less vocal about them. If you’re willing to help. A proper truce.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

Proper truce then. With magick, since you're across the room from me. However that works, I want you to magick it. So we have to help each other and you can't just decide to launch a chimera at me tomorrow during tea.

[basiltonpitch]

Sure, I’ll cast the spell. I’m not going near your bed though, it stinks. You can come to me. Surely you can use your words in real life? We are in the same room so that’s no need to keep posting about me online.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

It's easier to talk to you here when I don't have to sort through the million insult I want to throw at your face. Or rather, I can sort through them without potentially breaking this now magicked truce.

[basiltonpitch]

I see, your phone functions as the brain-to-mouth filter you so clearly lack. Well I admit it does make conversing with you significantly more tolerable.

[basiltonpitch]

Crowley, he’s figured out how to reblog. Now I have to endure this too.

[basiltonpitch]

I wish you weren’t an insufferable, incorrigible stubborn nightmare of a boy. I truly wish you’d believe me. Maybe then you’d see how he’s hurt too.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if we were on the same team.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

I can help you find who killed your mum, Baz. If you want. Prove the Mage innocent and avenge your mum at the same time. A real, proper truce. Not one about being straight or a vampire.

[basiltonpitch]

Fine. Truce. I’m not letting my feelings about the Mage go, but perhaps I can be less vocal about them. If you’re willing to help. A proper truce.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

Proper truce then. With magick, since you're across the room from me. However that works, I want you to magick it. So we have to help each other and you can't just decide to launch a chimera at me tomorrow during tea.

[basiltonpitch]

Sure, I’ll cast the spell. I’m not going near your bed though, it stinks. You can come to me. Surely you can use your words in real life? We are in the same room so that’s no need to keep posting about me online.

[basiltonpitch]

I wish you weren’t an insufferable, incorrigible stubborn nightmare of a boy. I truly wish you’d believe me. Maybe then you’d see how he’s hurt too.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if we were on the same team.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

I can help you find who killed your mum, Baz. If you want. Prove the Mage innocent and avenge your mum at the same time. A real, proper truce. Not one about being straight or a vampire.

[basiltonpitch]

Fine. Truce. I’m not letting my feelings about the Mage go, but perhaps I can be less vocal about them. If you’re willing to help. A proper truce.

[basiltonpitch]

I wish you weren’t an insufferable, incorrigible stubborn nightmare of a boy. I truly wish you’d believe me. Maybe then you’d see how he’s hurt you too.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if we were on the same team.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

Okay well I told him about his mum coming to visit me. Was nice and helpful and all that and in exchange he tells me it’s the Mage’s fault. Why do I even try to do something nice for him?

[basiltonpitch]

Ah yes, everyone gather around to congratulate the Chosen One on doing the bare minimum. Thank you for informing me weeks later.

[basiltonpitch]

It’s rather interesting how I happened to randomly disappear against my will, right when the veil opened. Almost perfect timing actually. You’d think it was planned that way. Almost like a certain someone was plotting. Ironic.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

Sorry, you were kidnapped? You? Basilton Tyrannus Grimm-Pitch? Who kidnapped you? Where are they? Should I get my sword?

[basiltonpitch]

This is a joke. You’re joking, right? As if you don’t know who kidnapped me. Don’t play dumb.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

I’m supposed to know who kidnapped you? Baz I asked Niall and Dev no less than twenty times where you were. I figured you were off… I don’t know. Plotting. Like you always do. I’m not gonna let there be someone going around kidnapping kids at Watford. That’s a danger to the school and the World of Mages entirely.

[basiltonpitch]

Of course I wasn’t plotting I was bloody kidnapped and starved! I had no chance to even contemplate a singular plot, not that I ever am plotting when you accuse me of such.

[doiiboy]

trade offer, I bite you and then you bite me till we’re both covered in bite marks

[kishibe-rohansbf]

date idea: i lay down on ur lap and you pet my head and tell me im not too much

[basiltonpitch]

It’s rather interesting how I happened to randomly disappear against my will, right when the veil opened. Almost perfect timing actually. You’d think it was planned that way. Almost like a certain someone was plotting. Ironic.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

Sorry, you were kidnapped? You? Basilton Tyrannus Grimm-Pitch? Who kidnapped you? Where are they? Should I get my sword?

[basiltonpitch]

This is a joke. You’re joking, right? As if you don’t know who kidnapped me. Don’t play dumb.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

So, hypothetically speaking, how long of a wait is too long to tell your roommate you met his dead mother?

[basiltonpitch]

You WHAT?

[simonsnowsalisbury]

Oh hey Baz! Wow you’ve stumbled upon my completely, totally hypothetical post. Uh… meet me in our room in five?

[basiltonpitch]

Hello, Snow. Sure…i’m here waiting for you.

[basiltonpitch]

It’s rather interesting how I happened to randomly disappear against my will, right when the veil opened. Almost perfect timing actually. You’d think it was planned that way. Almost like a certain someone was plotting. Ironic.

[simonsnowsalisbury]

So, hypothetically speaking, how long of a wait is too long to tell your roommate you met his dead mother?

[basiltonpitch]

You WHAT?

[basiltonpitch]

You are thirsting so hard

For whom? I’m not familiar with the slang. I don’t believe i’m “thirsting” over anyone.