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Rin: Haru... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Haru: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Rin: Rin: I wrote sanitize, Haru.
Rin: Haru was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some. Haru: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it. Rin: Haru, you ate a chair.
Mine, struggling to keep upright in her 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me Ayame, pointing at her and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.
Shigure: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on. Kyo: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Tohru isn’t
Rin: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Kyo: I'm a knife. Tohru, from across the room: He’s the little spoon.
Store Worker: Would a Ms, Rin please come to the front desk? Rin, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: points to Haru and Momiji Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Haru and Momiji, simultaneously: We got lost :( Rin: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
Kyo: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? Tohru : >:O language Yuki: Yeah watch your fucking language Haru: OKAY WHO TAUGHT YUKI THE FUCK WORD? Rin : 'The fuck word'. Momiji: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Yuki: Oh my god they censored it Rin : Say fuck, Momiji. Haru: Do it, Momiji. Say fuck.
Kyo: Rules are made to be broken. Yuki: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Haru: Uh, piñatas. Momiji: Glow sticks. Tohru: Karate boards. Rin: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Kyo: Rules. Yuki:
Kyo: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat* Yuki: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents Kyo: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you Haru: Actually I did the math, Yuki would have $225, not $0.15. Yuki: I’m right here.... Momiji: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Kyo: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please? Momiji: Sorry I only have a dollar Kyo: fuck u Haru: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Yuki would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent Momiji: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice Haru: You can buy anything you want with $22,500 Tohru: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice Haru: Apply juice to what Rin: Directly to the forehead Yuki: Great chat everyone
Tohru: Rin, can I talk to you for a second? Rin: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Kyo are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Tohru: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.
Rin: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Tohru: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Rin: Absolutely not.
Kakeru: *Accidentally hits Yuki in the face* Kakeru: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'* Kakeru: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?! Yuki : What’s wrong with you?!
Kakeru: I made tea. Yuki : I don’t want tea. Kakeru: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. Yuki : Then why are you telling me? Kakeru: It is a conversation starter. Yuki : That’s a lousy conversation starter. Kakeru: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.
Haru: *Kicks the door down looking panicked* Yuki : What did you do? Haru: Nobody died. Yuki : WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Yuki: Haru... Haru: Oh no, 'Haru' in b-flat. Haru: You're disappointed.
Rin: You often use humor to deflect trauma Haru: Thank you Momiji: She didn't say that was a good thing Haru: What I'm hearing is, you both think I'm funny
Haru: I wasn’t that drunk last night. Momiji: You were flirting with Rin Haru: So what? She’s my partner. Momiji: You asked her if her were single. Haru: Momiji: And then you cried when she said she weren't.
Rin: We need a distraction. Haru: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Momiji, whispering: My time has come
Hatori: This is such a bad idea. Shigure: Then why are you coming along? Hatori: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
Shigure: How's the sexiest person here~? Hatori: I don't know- Ayame, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!
Hatori, driving Haru and Momiji: So how was your day? Momiji: We almost got surprise adopted! Hatori: What? Haru: We almost got kidnapped. Hatori: Oh, okay. Hatori: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!













