Inspiring Cosplayer/Gamer @battotousai - Tumblr Blog

Collection of thoughts

February 4th, 2017

This is just a collection of my own thoughts in life, in what the world has become and about to become, and in how I feel about things around me. If I do post this I hope you can understand how my mind thinks. I’m trying not to make sense for others because this is my own collection of thoughts, so I hope you have critical thinking. I do not support the U.S.A. Democratic Party nor the Republic Party. I do support some of there ideas and policies but not 100%. I fear the world has become upside down, a mirror of what it is suppose to be. What we think is justice and peace is in fact not. What we think is equality only spread inequality. What we say has become double standard to fit what we think is “True” but really its only “true”. The one thing that is “True” is that we are now a world of hate. All things that you can relate to hate is what we have become; even the peace we seek is tainted with it. I know that we are not perfect, life tells us so but we are blind ourselves with the idea of perfection and equality. Even now My United States spread hate for what they claim is just.

While the rest of the world reap the benefits of acting the just and peace, they are raped, mugged, and murdered for being so. Is there no more good in the world? Or is it just “good intentions”? Can good intentions save us or are we already to far away from good that we cannot save ourselves from our individual goals? I choose not to believe so but it is so hard to believe my own thoughts and word though. Confusing times we live in now. People so blind to violence to see that their good is bringing so much hate to their own people. Fearing to be label something they wish not to be but by not accepting the responsibility, hate spread like an active volcano. Those who can do something are label enemies by the people who are afraid and blind. These people try to think rational and logical but their words cannot reach the feared only because they blindly follow a tyrant who cloak themselves with false good and “good intentions”. Truth is cloaked by the lack of respect of one another. Do you truly believe you are full good that you blind yourself for no other answer? History as taught me that their is never true good or true evil but the combination of it. We humans are capable of becoming demons or angels but like the idea of Satan, Satan is the father of lies. How are we suppose to know who is demon or angel? In saying this, peoples actions won’t be able to tell the difference? The only “true” answer I can come up with is letting your own soul tell the difference between who is demon or angel, evil or good, just and unjust. Reason and Logic can help if only if you take a moment to stop thinking about the cause, stop thinking about who is right or wrong. To stop and be still will clear a path of what is right and wrong but will never help who is right and wrong. Life is not perfect so why does everything has to be right or wrong? Finding the balance between them, now that is something I can live with.

Is being an American so bad we choose to leave that part out? If so why stay in a land where you hate? Ignorance used to be bless but now ignorance just makes you hate. To not follow only makes you the enemy and to know is to be ignorant now. Confusing times we live in now. No idea what self is anymore, the idea of self just makes you the enemy and selflessness makes you strong and proud. How can you have pride and honor without knowing yourself anymore? Everything is tainted with hate. Blinded by you’re Crusade or Jihad, evil seeps in to you’re soul. Hate is such a powerful thing. You cannot truly stop hate unless you cut it off. Even then after cutting the hate away you are left with the scare where it use to be. Forgiveness is the only reasonable thing to do, but when is the right time to do so? After cutting hate or before? This is question is what I have a hard time solving but then I think, life isn’t perfect. Could both be the answer? Sometimes before? Sometimes After? I wish I could have this answer.

I care for nothing but care for it entirely. I care because I am apart of this world but care for it not because how much hate people have in their souls. I wish I could live in a world less of hate, less of justice, less of the idea of perfection. But what I wish will never happen. I am one person in a world of life. The only way to survive is to care for it not. Only focus on the self. What I can do and what I hope to do. Is it evil to think so? I choose not to think so but others do. Why should they worry about my thoughts? My thoughts are for me and me alone. My thoughts do not harm anyone nor change the world but why do they care? Insecurity? Selfless justice? Promoting good onto others? or is it that they too think the same and want to escape these evil thoughts by thinking for others? Fearing to choices in life. Instant is what we hope but like a relationship instant is never there.

I choose. I choose to think self should never be evil. We think selflessness is good but for me it is the evil the drives the world. Thinking for others is not free-will but a impulse of thinking of doing good. How can you help others if you cannot help yourself? I know from experience you cannot truly help others when you yourself is already broke. To help others before yourself is not free-will but slaves in believing that it is. Fate; believing in helping others will bring good things in life but it is an illusion. How can you predict that in helping others before you will lead you to a good? I choose self and believe that is a path of true good. Satisfying yourself before others is the truth in free-will. I choose to believe that I create my own path, I choose to help others after helping my own needs, I choose to live my own freedom and not a life to satisfy others. Peoples opinion are useless unless it breaks the realm of reality. Dreams and reality should be balance in opinions but never cross path from one another. I choose free-will overall and in doing so I choose to believe you’re words or not but that doesn’t mean you’re words are fault. I make the best of what I’ve been giving and hope for the best in the world. I hope you do so to.

hey! (at Hollywood Bowl)

So last minute with friends (J.C & Ramil) concert with the Lumineers (at Hollywood Bowl)

Forgotten Website

-Haven’t been writing random stuff on this website.

Hopefully I’ll get back to posting random blogs again

I’ve been doing new stuff lately and experiencing life and I hope in the near future they will be positive.

Updates on what I’ll be doing is beginner blacksmithing, beginner leather worker, beginner seamstress, and beginner prop making.

This is just a random blog to keep me and check and if you enjoy a little read of what I’m am doing keep on reading.

Random stories in my head will be on this site to see if you like it or not.

Judge me or not I enjoy a good hate or love response

So far for beginner blacksmithing I’ve acquired 3 different hammers, some iron pipes (for bending the metal plates), an masonry chisel, and a tool bag to keep them nice and neat. All I need now is to build a table, a table vice, and an anvil which is in the works. Total cost is going to take a while before even getting started but it will be all worth it in the end.

Found some templates for making armor and props that will be in my possession real soon.

For the sowing and leather working; that will be last on the list of getting things done.

Lets see if I can make a suit of armor that I desire and present it to the nerd I’ll be wearing it for at Comikaze Expo, WonderCon(2017), and San Diego Comic Con(2017)

Went full weabu #hatsunemiku (at Microsoft Theater)

#hatsunemiku

Upgraded thanks to #ecigcity5 and big help from my boy BJ and Mark

#ecigcity5

Being an Hero?

It’s been a while since I wrote a blog about something or someone that is me or around me. I guess it’s time for me to start writing! A few months back from this day, (5/27/2015), I decided to go to the city of Burbank to pick up some thermal plastic, worbla, at a shop called Plastic Depot. As I got my thermal plastic and some other supplies from the shop, I called up my sister informing her that this shop was “stupid amazing, and this will be our shop for any costume we want to make!” After calling my sister I prepared myself for the long drive back home to the city of Covina, and that is when things got supernatural. If you don’t know how to get to Burbank, you would have to get on the 5. Burbank to Covina, I had to hope on the 5 south to the 134 east to get back. About ten to fifteen minutes on the 5 south I notice the hood of my car was open, and was being held by the hook only. For safety, I decided to pull off the next exit so I could safely secure the hood. As I pulled in to the closest parking lot, near the exit I just took, I saw a white SUV parked on the driveway to the parking lot I wanted to park. At first my first instinct was to ignore this SUV and the person who was in the drivers seat, park my car, secure the hood of my car, and get back home as soon as possible. Most Californian would think the same and act upon those instincts; Californian don’t help others even if they are dieing. But if you don’t know anything about me; I’m no ordinary Californian. I always do my best to help those who are truly in need.

When I parked my car in the same parking lot the man in the SUV did, the man did not even ask for my help. My guess is that he thought I wouldn’t help him or he didn’t speak any English, which he did but not good. I decided to approach this man in the SUV and asked him if he needed any help. He replied with broken English “si please”. Now this was a very big SUV and was on a incline but when I started pushing the SUV from the back of the vehicle, I had more strength than I realized, and was able to push the SUV with ease. It was as if three other people was helping me push this big SUV. As I help push and guide his SUV to one of the parking lot, he thanks me in both English and Spanish. It is always a good feeling to truly be thanked from someones heart. Even though he explained his situation to me in Spanglish, I figured out what had happen to him that got him into the situation he was in. His car ran out of gas, he phone was dead, and he was in a hurry; no one he know was anywhere close, and he was at a all time low for the day. That’s when I showed up out of nowhere and helped him. Now I’m no big believer in gods or faith but if I were, I would say that his god caused my hood to detach itself and forced me to pull over to find him.

I like to think of myself a hero for him that day but when I got back into my car and drove back home to Covina, I started thinking that what if it was gods will to send me to help this man that I did not know? That would be an amazing thing to think about. If I can be selfish about it; I was gods instrument that day to help that man in need. Now, I hate being used for anything such: being used for other peoples profit or being used without knowing until the end of it. But if this was gods will and it used me to help this man, I would happily do it again.

#hero

My sisters and I first attempt to making a copy of my head what do yall think?!?!

Rare selfie moments! On the roof of my building saving a soccer ball. Things I do for kids

Rocking the hello kitty jacket!!!! Be jello people!!! #wondercon

#wondercon

A Haunting Past, Fury of the Future

Just a random blog My cosplay blog thing for me is now on the low low (still working on costumes its not the main subject no more). 2014 made me think a lot about what I want for myself. I have done tons of exciting and weird things in 2014 such as talk to random people, cosplaying in public, sacrifice time and money for others, and being honest to myself. 2014 for me should be called the year for soul searching. I didn't really have a goal but to have fun the whole year, I didn't achieve it but got pretty close so I guess that is better than not even trying. This year, 2015 I think I started very daring. I am going back to school, I took a very long break (5+ years) because I didn't know what I wanted to do and to be frank I'm not school material and convinced myself that I shouldn't even try but hey I'm enrolled and with help got a few classes with a plan to start my career. I did plan to start this year to move to a different state and start working in the railroad industry but that didn't pan out so will. It broke my spirit a little that I didn't achieve that career move but it's for the best. Made me think what I want for myself. Long story short about my life, most of the things I do are for others or someone else wanting me to achieve it for personal gain and status. All the things I do for myself are usually shuned upon and discouraging to make me feel inferior or small (figure of speech). {Side note: distance yourself as best you can to negative energy because they will hold you back, if you want something for yourself do it. You won't know until you try.} This made me think a lot about me. Who am I? What influence me to be me? Who do I want in my life? Should I change my life? Or should I just fade away? At this moment it's sort of a blur of how I signed up for college and getting class but I do remember one important event in my life that influence me to just do something. One of my good friend asked me to help him with his homework last fall semester. Practically my help was just telling stories, out of all the stories that I told to him one stood out. It was a story of me helping a young teenage girl crying sitting in a park bench all my herself. The short version of this story is that Everyone walk passed this girl as if she was a ghost. With no hesitation knowing nothing about this girl I walked up to her and offer help. I brought her in my building to clean herself up, offered her some water and a chair to relax. Didn't ask her about her situation, just told her if she wanted to talk I have ears and if she wanted anything else just need took nothing but ask. She didn't speak to me this whole experience but her facial expressions and body language told me her story and didn't need to say anything. She left me a note of how grateful what I did for her and will remember that the world is not always evil. At the end of this story my friend who I was telling this story told me that this was a sign from God of what I should be doing. To help people who needed help, now I'm no believer of his faith but he had a point and honestly this was the first good advise someone told me even if it was intentional. I guess this is how I started my year by deciding to go to school so I can help people and I thank him for guiding me to this path. I started this year with a new path in life. I only hope that the people I am force to be surrounded by won't influence me to stray from the path that was presented before me for their own personal gain. This year I know I will face my own demons and will struggle a lot. No one will notice it, I have a good poker face for my friends. Not saying that I hate my friends but it will be my problem and if they see pass my fake smiles or attitude when the time comes, I will need your help and thank you in my own way. Wish me luck in my journey and if you want to be apart of this, all you have to do is.... If I have to say it then you won't be mention or heard in my journey ^_^

Super Duper Very Late Update! End of the Year (400-Something)

Day 400-Something (it is way pass a year) Yes it has been a while! But I am back on this to finish my days of attempting to be a cosplayer for a whole year. If memories serve me right I did start this blog around late October, Stan Lee's Comikaze is where I got my inspiration to do cosplay. I did have plan to produce at least five costume but life does not work as you planned.

Money, Greed, Drama (human and personal), friends, and time; all these things I did not consider into making costumes and paying for conventions. My insight of making costumes was extremely costly and the choices I had to make was a real concern. Let me give you an example: I did pre-planned my money so I can have fun with my friends and still have enough to pay for supplies to buy my materials for the different costumes I wanted to make. But like life, the future is unpredictable.

I don't hate the reasons why I would delay or procrastinate mostly because I am the definition of procrastination. Life always gives me challenges and I do my best to overcome them (with the best of my abilities) but even doing so, other do not have my will to do what needs to be done. Now I'm not saying that I am a better person than everyone else but sometimes people need help, any help and I hate to admit it but deep down inside of me I do care for others. Just to be clear I only care for those who I believe will return the favor sometime in my life-time whenever I need help or people I can consider "people I love". Sounds cheesy but I do go out of my way to help others, but in doing so it does cost money to be kind-hearted. Some of my pre-planned money did go to those special situation where I did go rescue people from there own insanity or their extremely bad luck when everything that can go wrong, will. But most of my pre-planned money did was used to relieve me of my own stress.

My work and work environment does not stress me out. I personally believe that my work is really easy and the environment that I do work in (even if their is drama) I can handle. I live by a code, "I don't give a fuck". If you are not important in my life I don't care for you, even if you think you are important I don't. The number one cause for my stress is my home. I don't hate my family but I know they do release their stress on me. I normally would just take all the stress and not complain about it but I can only handle so much. I used to go out and just relief the stress to a local gaming cafee and spend most of my money there and hang out with my friends but they closed down a while ago (I believe I did post a blog about it). Without the gaming cafee and no other means to relieve my stress I feel that I carried my entire family stress with me every time I would go home and to this day I do but that will change soon I hope with my own hands ^_^.

With all this in mind I did complete at least two costumes and did go to 2 conventions to cosplay! My first costume was a "clicker" from the game "The Last Of Us". (I have a few pictures posted up on my Facebook if you want to see them just find me and scroll through my pictures.) The first convention I went to while cosplaying was called Anime-Expo. This was the first time I went to a convention with a costume and now I know why people are crazy enough to go to a convention and dress up (Cosplay). A lot of people who never been to a comic/anime/manga/nerd convention may ask "why do you do something embarrassing as putting on a costume when its not even Halloween?" The answer is simple; the main reason why people cosplay is to bring their favorite characters to life. Another reason to cosplay is to get recognition for the hard work you put into your costume and be brave enough to go out in the public. Almost all the costumes that people wear to conventions are all hand made to bring their fantasies to life and let me say this: "Good costumes or bad I have tons of respect for the nerds who cosplay." I took a lot of pictures with other cosplayers that day and a lot of attendee of the convention took pictures of me or with me. The greatest moment for me for this convention is that some of the attendee who took pictures of me were professional photographers and now I'm on someone's website ^_^. It showed me a new perspective of going to conventions and I do truly enjoy it. I plan to keep on making costumes for conventions.

I took a lot of pictures with other cosplayers that day and a lot of attendee of the convention took pictures of me or with me. The greatest moment for me for this convention is that some of the attendee who took pictures of me were professional photographers and now I'm on someone's website ^_^. It showed me a new perspective of going to conventions and I do truly enjoy it. I plan to keep on making costumes for conventions.

The second costume that I finished was not for a convention but for work. My department ( a party of over 15 people) wanted to do Disney theme for a Halloween competition/party. At first I did not want to participate because I would have only one week to finish a whole costume from scratch. But my department convinced me to join them and that I can do anything I want to whichever character I desire, I could not resist. I had told my coworkers and colleagues that I do make costumes for conventions and now I have motive to prove to myself that if I put time and effort to whatever costume I want and to show that to my coworkers/colleagues that when I'm passionate about something I go HAM (Harder than a Mother Fucker). The character I decided to pick was the Mad Hatter but making a traditional mad hatter with a green hat and some fluffy dress up gown, I created a new idea of how I see the Mad Hatter. I love zombies and tons of gore, so I decided to make this costume as if the Mad Hatter was banished and stuck in the swamps of wonderland. Fungus, moss, blood and tissue ripping off the body, skin turning white for not having enough sun on the skin, the black roses painted red attached to the coat to be a reminder that he was banished, it was a zombie fungus Mad Hatter that I have created.

After a few days of very little sleep and help from my sister it was finally complete (posted a few pictures on my Facebook if you want to see it). I had to admit I was very proud of completing this costume and even more proud that it turned out amazing. I convince two of my coworkers to come with me to the Halloween competition/party with me and be take part in the competition with our department. Long story short I met a lot of important people who work for the city of Baldwin Park such as city council members, supervisor of city management and public works. The competition was split up into four category; best group, most cute/beautiful costume, best costume overall/most creative costume, and most scary. My department was the biggest group to compete and in my opinion was the most active but we didn't win the best group but I did win best costume/most creative costume and when I came up to get my award everyone cheers and positive feedback I can say I was satisfied. I was happy to represent on behalf of my department by winning something and left the party/competition happy.

After this event I decided to go into the public with this new costume I made and cosplay at the Comikaze comic book convention the next day to see if I did do a good job and just because I could. In all honestly I got a lot of good feedback from the convention. A lot of people knew who I was and love my interpretation of the Mad Hatter and a lot of other gave me a lot of good advise to what to use for the next time I want to make costumes. The greatest satisfaction of this convention for me was that I was an inspiration for the young kids who went with there family. I took a lot of pictures of young kids who absolutely loved my costume. I also got a few professional photographers took pictures of me and was happy that they enjoyed my costumes just as much as I did. I also took a few pictures with professional cosplayers and got a few compliments from them (that made me blush a little ^_^).

A lesson that I learn that day is that you don't have to make your own costume to get great praises from others, My good buddy Chin dress up as Freddy Mercury and got tons of praises from professional cosplayers and the public because he looked and acted like Freddy Mercury (if you don't know who that is its the lead singer of The Queens). Chin did not make the costume but bought it, but he looked amazing and I even gave him my praises as he so should deserve. Honestly I was happy that he stole a lot of the spotlight because when I was walking alone or with my other friends who didn't dress up I would get some spotlight on me and be taking pictures with, I just wanted to dress up for fun ^_^. Comikaze was fun a great experience this year for me.

Over all my experience of this year trying to complete multiple difficult costumes in a single year has been a good lesson for me. Even with passion, time, help, saved up money, and equipment; life and human contact will always be their to and should always be included with any projects you dire. I did complete at least two costumes for conventions and still have many more that are half done. But with the two I did complete I learned a lot. It's good to be appreciated with hard work and dedication but it's more fun when you do it when friends and family who will support it. I will continue to making more better and more crazy costumes for the years to come with the knowledge I have acquire and finish all my other half done costumes that I have started and show the world that if you want to be more than who you are, the hardest thing to do is to take those first steps. For me this little blog journal the has lasted more than a year was my beginning for what I hope to be one of my greatest journey to come.

I started this blog because of my friend Chin who inspire me by telling me about one of his favorite Batman comic called "Year One" and it is about the tales of Batman starting be the cape crusader. Batman didn't become legend from the start, he had to learn from his mistakes and be better (if you think this comic sounds interesting to you than go get the complete set and read it). So for me this was my first year and will hope to be better for myself and inspire others who are struggling to do something with their life or be an awesome cosplayer. I will end this blog that this will be the last of the "year one" blogs and will be posting other random blog ether related to cosplaying or with random acts of kindness that I actually do. Please enjoy blogs and spread my blog for others to read, I did post these up on the internet because I do want random people to read it so help a Shy Dorky Kid and repost these blogs ^_^

My many few selfies happy haunting

Yeah I went! Be jello! (Hatsune Miku)

Death has come to my house so I can rock with the ghost of japan!

Best food ever!

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