grout white shark
Claire Keane
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

blake kathryn
Today's Document
$LAYYYTER

Product Placement

JVL
The Bowery Presents

bliss lane
cherry valley forever
Xuebing Du
d e v o n

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𓃗
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oozey mess
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shark vs the universe

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@manapeer
grout white shark
I think it would be funny to write a murder mystery where not only did every single character involved have an obvious motive to kill this mf, they were actually all attempting to murder him first, but the murder attempts all cancelled each other out all except for one. Two people tried to poison him but the poisons just happen to work as antidotes for each other, and instead of killing him only gave him the shits, and due to having the shits he couldn't go hunting that day like he had planned, foiling the plans of the one who had conditioned his favourite hunting horse to panic and bolt at the cue of a whistle, and the other murder attempt of tampering with his gun so that it would have exploded his whole face off.
The whole mystery isn't about who could have done it or how, but who was the one who got lucky and actually succeeded.
Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.
When I was in high school a friend of mine would host murder mystery dinners once or twice a year. They were the kind you could buy as a kit -- I don't even know if they exist anymore -- and everyone was assigned (or chose) a character, then received a booklet of clues to share. The idea was to spend an evening in a one-shot LARP designed like an Agatha Christie novel.
I was a year above most of them at school so they threw a "goodbye" murder mystery for me just before graduation, and about 2/3 of the way through the game we all realized that everyone had at least attempted to kill the victim. The game then shifted from "whodunnit" to "who succeeded in dunninit" which we all felt was not only super fun but above the usual level of narrative complexity for those games.
After we solved it, we discovered that the game wasn't from a kit -- the host had written it herself and meticulously printed out the booklets in replica style of the kits. It was the best going-away party I think I could possibly have had.
reminders i need to like, tattoo on my brain:
1. if you feel judged and hurt by others, try sleeping
2. if you feel judgmental and resentful of others, try eating (the classics)
3. if you feel uncomfortable, try showering
4. if you feel directionless and afraid, go sit outside for a bit and maybe then you'll calm down. maybe even a walk if youre feelin crazy
5. take it easy, but by god, take it
oh and how could i forget. final boss. take your fucking medication
My dad and I once had a disagreement over him using the adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
I said, "That's just not true. Sometimes what doesn't kill you leaves you brittle and injured or traumatized."
He stopped and thought about that for a while. He came back later, and said, "It's like wood glue."
He pointed to my bookshelf, which he helped me salvage a while ago. He said, "Do you remember how I explained that, once we used the wood glue on them, the shelves would actually be stronger than they were before they broke?"
I did.
"But before we used the wood glue, those shelves were broken. They couldn't hold up shit. If you had put books on them, they would have collapsed. And that wood glue had to set awhile. If we put anything on them too early, they would have collapsed just the same as if we'd never fixed them at all. You've got to give these things time to set."
It sounded like a pretty good metaphor to me, but one thing I did pick up on was that whatever broke those shelves, that's not the thing that made them stronger. That just broke them. It was being fixed that made them stronger. It was the glue.
So my dad and I agreed, what doesn't kill you doesn't actually make you stronger, but healing does. And if you feel like healing hasn't made you stronger than you were before, you're probably not done healing. You've got to give these things time to set.
this speaking as a cis person. Nothing brings me more joy seeing people find gender euphoria in becoming a mediocre representation of humanity. And I mean that so genuinely. Local boy finds joy and fulfillment wearing a cargo shorts and t-shirt combo. Local girl has transitioned to look like someone's disheveled aunt, has never been happier. Local person experiences gender euphoria rocking the world's worst bowl-cut. Without a scap of irony, this shit makes me see the wonder and whimsy in just, being a human. An average, person going through their day-to-day, is a wondrous thing? That's amazing. And heteronormativity has stripped these experiences of their joy. Like you're right, wearing a basic girlypop skirt should make my heart sing. Why not? Why are these expressions lesser because they're normal? All this to say. Shoutout to all the basic bitches out there. Yes that polo shirt does make you look like a divorced golfer dad. Yes, that too is kind of a slay, now that I think of it.
it just pisses me off that we can't have anything without the dumbest loudest motherfuckers on earth telling us we're being Loud and Unreasonable and Frankly Hysterical (About Seeing Imaginary Character As Trans, Given The Textual Evidence)
it's deranged!!!!! it is genuinely warped thinking!!!! what is wrong with these people!!!
cisnormativity is an illness and the cure is [pulled immediately offstage]
The fastest way to accomplish The Project is to cease being afraid of The Project. The Project cannot maim you. The Project cannot kill you. The Project is more afraid of you than you are of it. It is okay if The Project turns out differently from how it was in your head, and it is okay if it has flaws. You are capable of engaging with The Project.
definitely the worst/funniest eye contact experience I ever had was about nine years ago, on a roof in a foreign country, too drunk to stand up and trapped in the company of a guy I’d fought in the street earlier that day
I was convinced he was going to instigate a rematch that I was too compromised to win, but also I was very unwell and unafraid to die, so I gave him a piece of my mind and rattled off a detailed list of everything I’d ever thought was wrong with him.
he didn’t reply—just stared me down, wordless, expressionless, cold unblinking eyes in the darkness.
a thought surfaced from the depths of my brain, washing ashore like a globster: this is exactly like wolves. this is a dominance display. a challenge. hold his gaze; do not break eye contact. keep your eyes open and relaxed to show that you are not concerned with his threat… too wide will show fear and submission, too narrow will suggest violence.
I held his gaze.
he moved forward, stalking towards me across the roof.
just like wolves, I thought.
he approached slowly, like he was moving underwater, or through a dream.
this is literally exactly like wolves, I thought.
he came closer.
wolves, my brain insisted.
closer still.
you’re handling this properly for sure.
uncomfortably close.
only when the tip of his nose was physically pressed against mine like fucking Marty McFly and his school principal did my brain finally admit that maybe, just maybe, this was NOT like wolves, and that maybe half-remembered dubious information I’d read in a kind of racist book about wolves once when I was nine years old was not applicable to my current situation.
then his lips pressed against mine and I realized that there are, in fact, other reasons adults make prolonged eye contact that really have nothing to do with wolf dominance displays.
actually you know what? it WAS a successful dominance display because when I didn’t kiss back and just kept terminator wolf staring he cringed and shrank back and was obviously chagrined about the whole thing and didn’t bother me again for weeks, so. #winning
yeah baby I can maintain direct eye contact. just like a wolf.
How can I get a full time job as the wandering stranger that comes into town and gets by on odd jobs and has their face partially obscured by a hood and/or cowboy hat
Pottery sounds terrifying to me. Every post I see is like "Here's this awesome art I made!! Pray for me that it survives The Kiln™ :')" I don't think I could cope with making art that could quite easily blow up and I have no way of controlling that. You guys are true heroes.
@bazanite you are so correct
"This is my weird son. He can't climb for shit, but he is handsome and strong."
#cats be like#is anybody adopt that#and don't wait for an answer
Everything that isn't food is a cat from the perspective of a cat. Cats can look upon the true form of eldritch monstrosities and keep their sanity. They'd just see another cat. A fucking weird-looking cat, but a cat nonetheless.
"Those tentacles will take a lot of licking to keep clean, but it's nothing I haven't dealt with before. Hold still, kitten."
awesome awesome interview with Emily Wilson
But seriously though. Learning to draw fat people will make you a much better artist. Understanding how skin and fat behaves and folds in certain poses, and being able to adapt complex poses to fit a fat body (as usually references are with thin models) will help you TREMENDOUSLY. Drawing fat being properly affected by gravity will aid you in ALL figure drawing in the future. Like if you have any sort of interest in drawing humanoid figures (AND furries) you really ought to learn how to draw fat of all kind.
on participatory art:
Beethoven’s “Hammerklavier” sonata, first published over two hundreds years ago, is notoriously considered one of the most difficult-to-play piano pieces of all time.
In particular, when Beethoven sent it to his publisher in 1818, he allegedly said, “Now you have a sonata that will keep the pianists busy when it is played 50 years hence!”, and much has been made of the fact that it wasn’t publicly performed in its entirety until eighteen years later, by Franz Liszt himself.
Except that’s a bit of a deceptive statistic. See, when Beethoven published Hammerklavier, public solo piano recitals/concerts weren’t really a thing yet. Symphonies, sure; concertos, definitely. But sonatas were “parlor” music—a thing played by amateurs, often skilled amateurs, but amateurs nonetheless, in little sitting-rooms for a bit of entertainment after dinner, or at private salons with a guest list in the low dozens. (And mostly they were meant to be sight-read! The culture of obsessively polishing a piece to make it “performance-ready” wasn’t as much of a thing, back then.) People bought these things the way they bought novels, and, just as someone might buy a copy of Joyce’s Ulysses today and enjoy puzzling over the thing, even if they never read the whole thing or feel like they fully “get” it, well… some folks would enjoy sonatas the same way.
So yeah, Hammerklavier didn’t have its first public performance until Liszt played it in the Salle Érard. But also, Liszt basically invented the format of “star virtuoso pianist hogging the stage for two hours” in order to get a public audience at all.
But in the meantime—I think about how wonderful it must’ve been, tooling around on the piano during that 18-year-span where there was no evidence that thing even was playable, or that, if playable, that the thing even made sense. Beethoven was nearly totally deaf by this point, after all, a fact that was publicly known—had he totally lost it? people had to wonder. And the only way to find out would be… well, trying it out yourself!
It has the sound of a gimmick. And I’ll bet it was, at least a little bit—but just because something’s more interesting to play than listen to doesn’t mean it’s failing in its goal. (Though fwiw it is very interesting to listen to.)
It also has the sound of, like, Dark Souls, to be honest. Proto-video game culture. A new game drops and people are asking each other: can anyone beat this boss? can you beat this boss? do you still consider your time on the game well-spent even if you never 100% it?
Biographies generally agree that Beethoven’s metronome markings (which only appear in his later work, and only *some* of his later work) are preposterous—often borderline-unplayable, and certainly not very musical. I couldn’t find a recording of anyone trying to play Hammerklavier at the marked 138bpm tempo, so I got a computer to do it—and burst out laughing at the result because, yeah, 138bpm is fucking NUTS. But whether intentional or accidental, I love the audacity of its being there, like a taunt: I dare you to do more. I dare you to do better. I dare you to try.
Much has been made of how difficulty’s a way of keeping people out—but it’s also a way of inviting people in, I think. It says: do this hard thing and you will be rewarded. You will be rewarded in the trying. Because the trying is the thing that makes the music live; there is no music without you.
Here’s an old bit from an interview with the game designer Porpentine:
“The purpose of a puzzle [in a game] is to provide resistance. For me, that resistance doesn’t need to be coercive or challenging, just interesting and aesthetic. My mechanics are to be touched. Games are perhaps the most intimate art because the player must remain touching at all times. They must touch or the game does not exist.”
So it goes with these sonatas, too.
Flavours of unreliable narrator:
Lying to the reader
Lying to themselves
Simply misinformed
Not paying attention
Has weird priorities
Assumed you knew
Hates you personally
Bad at communicating
Easily sidetracked
Will believe anything
Has weird prejudices
Just kind of dumb
Yeah, yeah, all the textile and fibre arts lead to each other, we all became trapped here long ago.
The danger zone is when they lead out of textile and fibre arts, into agriculture and woodworking and smithing and beyond.
I've got it!
The danger zone is always one or two steps beyond wherever I am now.
Not me trying to figure out how I could keep angora goats in our backyard rental.