How about we try it blindfold?

found family and OT3 give me life | the old guard | the musketeers | leverage | BazinMousqueton on ao3

[bazinmousqueton]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

The Leverage: Redemption team are hired to investigate Merrick Pharmaceuticals following a suspicious death in South Sudan. They embark on a con, infiltrate Merrick’s HQ… and find some unexpected prisoners in his research lab.

Rating: General Audience

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Spoilers for The Old Guard

Inspired by this genius post -- thank you @chimaerakitten:

There are at least 31 leverage/the old guard crossovers on AO3 and yet I’m pretty sure none of them have gone the objectively funniest route wherein the third act of TOG goes entirely off the rails because Parker Hardison and Eliot were halfway through scamming Merrick and happen to have already been in the building when Andy gets dragged in

[alias-milamber]

I think, some days, of a post I saw on livejournal - if not before - that used a trick of paragraphs to fool you to thinking it was just a post, but sadly, you're already toast, for it's, in fact, a verse of hallelujah.

[radicarian]

The hoax took place in Florence in about 1409... The victim was a carpenter named Manetto, known as Il Grasso, "the Fat Man." Manetto specialized in carving ebony and owned a shop in the Piazza San Giovanni, not far from Filippo [Brunelleschi]'s house. He was prosperous and good-natured, but one day had the misfortune of incurring Filippo's ire after missing a social gathering. Never one to resist retaliation, Filippo resolved to exact his revenge for this perceived slight by persuading a wide cast of characters to convince Manetto that he had metamorphosed into someone else.... As Manetto closed his shop one evening, Filippo went to his house near the cathedral, picked the lock, slipped inside, and barred the door behind him. When Manetto arrived a few minutes later, he rattled the door and then, to his alarm, heard what sounded like his own voice (in fact, Filippo doing an impersonation) ordering him to go away. This impersonation was so convincing that eh retreated in bewilderment into the Piazza San Giovanni. There he met Donatello, who inexplicably addressed him as Matteo, and shortly afterward a bailiff, who likewise hailed him as Matteo and then promptly arrested him for debt. He was taken to the Stinche prison, where his name was entered in the jail book as Matteo. Even his fellow prisoners--all of them party to Filippo's prank--addressed him by this alien name. The carpenter spent a sleepless night, fretting over events but solacing himself with the thought that he was merely a victim of mistaken identity. This comfort evaporated the next morning when two strangers--the brothers of the real Matteo--arrived at the prison and claimed him as their kin. They paid his debt and liberated him, though not before chastising him for his supposed gambling and profligate living. More bewildered now than ever, he was escorted to Matteo's home on the other side of Florence, near Santa Felìcita, where his protests that he was not Matteo, but Manetto, appeared to fall on deaf ears.... He was then put to sleep with a potion supplied by Filippo and carried, unconscious, back across the river to his own home. He was laid on his bed in a reversed position, with his head at the foot and his feet at the head. Awakening many hours later, the poor carpenter was confused not merely by his position on the bed but also by the disarray of his house, for his tools had been completely rearranged. His perplexity grew with the arrival of Matteo's brothers... greeting him as Manetto and relating the curious story of how the previous evening their brother Matteo conceived the fantastic notion that he was someone else. The story was soon confirmed by Matteo himself--the real one--who arrived at Manetto's house to describe his puzzling dream of having been a carpenter. The disarray of the house was explained by the fact that in his dream Matteo noticed how his tools were out of order and in need of rearrangement.

Source: Brunelleschi's Dome, Ross King

What the hell was going on in 15th-century Florence. You miss a party and get elaborately mindfucked by a pissed-off goldsmith and his buddy Donatello. Manetto ended up moving to Hungary over this and who can blame him

[mumbo-isthemoonbig]

i was so naive in thinking that spirk shippers were exaggerating. what the fuck is wrong with these two.

[mumbo-isthemoonbig]

SPOCK HAS A MATING CYCLE?????

[destinationtoast]

Cultural Insights of Our Own: Lessons From a Newly Decoded Digital Archive

Interplanetary Journal of Cultural Studies Volume 16, Issue 3, Pages 322-340

Abstract

The recently decoded Internet Archive includes the digital artifact called “Archive of Our Own” (AO3) from early third millennium Earth.  AO3 is unusually well backed up and therefore is presumed to contain some of the most significant -- perhaps even sacred -- texts of the time.  In this paper we present our preliminary analysis of AO3 metadata, including new insights about the literature, gender and sexuality, religion, and scientific understanding of this historical era: 

I. LITERATURE. We describe the cultural centrality of figures such as the Winchesters and Reader.  We explore how they featured heavily in every dominant literature genre of the era, including Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, and Oral Sex.  

II. GENDER AND SEXUALITY. We review the overwhelming evidence that male-male relationships were the most culturally significant sexual and romantic relationships, but we also show that it was a culture with an unusually broad set of sexual and gender roles.  In particular, we highlight the unusual tripartite conceptualization of gender as including alpha, beta, and omega roles; we note the apparent prejudice against betas, illustrated in the prevalence of “no beta we die like men” and similar protest slogans. 

III. RELIGION. We describe a newly discovered religious taboo: doves were a common sacrificial animal of the time, but they were forbidden from being eaten.  

IV. SCIENCE. Finally, we present new insight about alternate universes.  While previous scholars hypothesized that the scientists of Earth may have developed a correct early theory of the multiverse by the late second millennium, our analysis of AO3 presents evidence to the contrary.  As late as the early third millennium, prevailing theories postulated highly specific universes, such as a universe in which everyone is in high school, or a universe contained within a coffee shop.  

Taken together, these historical insights show that further investigation is warranted into the valuable documents stored within AO3, perhaps even going beyond the metadata to examine the full texts.

[the-punforgiven]

I'd love to make like, an animated nature documentary about fantasy monsters and their hunting tactics

Like it's 100% nature documentary, detailing diets, genealogy, nesting rituals, ect. but any time it's time to show a carnivorous monster actively hunting its picking off a member of a steadily dwindling adventuring party every time

[the-punforgiven]

concept sketches

[bazinmousqueton]

I'm obsessed by MyTenderMadness's fic The Consortium of Genoa - aka History's Worst Closet. It's a Joe/Nicky The Old Guard AU set in a (very) alternative medieval Genoa, as told by a history podcaster.

The voice is perfect, the historical sources are hilarious, and underneath it all there is King Nicolò II (with the "the moral flexibility of a cathedral wall") and Yusuf ("Pirate. Prince. [...] Problem with cheekbones.") falling in love and making it the entire Court's problem. Highly recommended.

I couldn't resist making fanart calligraphy of this letter from Brother Benedicto - who just wants some peace in the library - to his Abbot.

Rough drafts and lettering experiments under the cut.

[leupagus]

Seraphinaverse fics, or, goddamn y’all

One of the highest honors that can ever be bestowed on a fanfic writer is to have someone else write fic of their fic. When I started writing “a kind of dwell and welcome,” I hoped it would be a short (lol) little story that would be fun and heartwarming and make people as happy reading it as it made me writing it.

Little did I know.

I’ve been meaning to draw up this list for a while, but you folks keep writing more incredible stories. So I’ll update this as needed but for now, here are the eleven (ELEVEN) fics-of-fic that are, truly, some of the best writing I’ve ever been fortunate enough to read. I am putting them in roughly chronological order for anyone who wants to have a treat of a weekend read.

These laboratories and those picnics by another_Hero

Trent and Seraphina get a bad cold and Ted comes over to make them chicken soup. That’s it — and it’s perfect. The first fic-of-fic written as well as the first chronologically, it absolutely floored me. One thing I absolutely adore about their writing is how tender they are with their characters, giving weight to moments and gestures that knock you clean out of your socks. I’m also a sucker for a good didactic story, and this one delivers in spades in re: teaching how to make chicken soup from scratch.

take me apart by ladyfairhair

A lovely, contemplative expansion of one scene within “a kind of dwell and welcome,” where Ted and Trent are still negotiating their romantic and sexual boundaries; it’s lovely and hot and shows a very new side of Ted, the side that is able to slow down just a little bit and take in all that Trent’s offering him. I also really adore Trent in this story, how in his own way he’s just as overwhelmed.

i like its hows by raedear

A cranky and stressed-out Trent gets the bubble-bath treatment with his boyfriend. I read this story with a giant grin on my face the whole time; raedear has a knack for getting you inside Ted’s headspace in a way that feels very natural, even restful. Also features Ted having a thing about Trent’s hair, which, who among us really.

you can call me loverboy by Waistcoat35

Oh my god — aka The Fic That Explained Fancams To Ted, And Also To Gus. I love the idea of Trent Crimm, Secret Fanboy; also given how hard he tries to give the impression of being an analog kid, the revelation that Trent knows more about TikTok than I do is a fucking delight. Ted’s baffled glee at seeing just how much Trent was into him even before they started dating is similarly incredible. Even if they never do watch the red panda video.

Camellia sinensis by reginahalliwell

TED VS TEA. This is possibly the greatest twist on the Five Times trope I’ve ever seen, with Ted finding out about various types of tea and his reaction to them in turn (spoilers: he has a VERY positive reaction to the last one, ahem). Each section is also its own story, which in turn is part of the larger story of how Ted and Trent love each other, and love other people; so much of this fic is just about care in all its forms. I clapped to myself multiple times reading this.

On this ground by praycambrian

Ted takes his family to Kansas for the family reunion — Trent, Henry and Seraphina, who all have differing reactions to the Midwest. Thank fucking God praycambrian wrote this, is the main thing I want to say; this story is written from Trent’s POV and praycambrian writes him in such an achingly poetic yet fiercely unsentimental way that I’m still agog, weeks after reading it for the first time. Ted’s family is both exactly like and nothing like I would have expected, as people who love Ted but don’t quite accept him, this “new” version of him, and the pain that inflicts on Ted makes you want to reach through to hold him yourself. But it’s also a deeply joyful story; we get to see how Trent views this relationship and what it means to him, how he loves so completely and utterly. Just breathtaking.

this bed thy centre is by kirazi

Set right after the family comes back from Kansas, this is fic-of-fic-of-fic, or Ficepton, and I could not be more astounded by it. Taking place over a day spent in bed, Ted and Trent recovering from their vacation (as you always need to do) and soaking up each others’ presence. What I like best in this story is the way they talk to each other; like adults with their own lives and priorities, but who have chosen — and who choose every day — to live those lives together, and to make each other a priority. Plus, there’s a JFK anal joke that has to be read to be believed.

Any Eden We Can Name Has Dinosaurs by gutterandthestars

Ted, Trent and dino-crazy Seraphina return to the Natural History Museum, this time as a family. Gutterandthestars has a gift for writing affection, if that makes sense; it’s hard to read this story without smiling, the way you do when you see loving families interacting with each other. There’s also a lovely OC (several, actually) who glances off their day in that way that sometimes happens, an encounter with a stranger that you remember fondly, even though you’ll likely never cross paths again.

Don’t You Ever Ask Them Why by Valonia

Seraphina gets her period. I absolutely ADORE how Valonia wrote the teenage Seraphina, completely recognizable but fortunately not quite the terror she was at 3 or 4. Ted is also wonderful here; there’s none of that sitcom-dad ridiculousness, merely a man who’s (understandably) never had to deal with this particular issue before, learning as fast as he can. (Also Ted getting psyched that Seraphina gets her period is actually so cute and would be SO ANNOYING, I love everything about it.)

And, delightfully, there are AUs of this AU!

Edge of the abyss (it’ll swallow you whole) by chanderson

A wonderful story that has Ted suffer his first panic attack in Trent’s presence much earlier in the relationship — this (as per the author’s note) can be read as a stand-alone if you prefer. It’s one of those stories that’s so clearly written not just from a place of experience, but a place of love and empathy. And the way that the author writes Trent as understanding but not fussing - even as Ted feels defensive and worried — is just great.

a real right thing by another_Hero

So another_Hero dropped this fic in my lap and ran away cackling, for which I will NEVER FORGIVE AND NEVER FORGET. It’s an AU that starts from before “a kind of dwell and welcome” even starts, giving a glimpse into what might have happened had Trent made a different choice, in Ted’s office. That first scene between Ted and Trent made me hold my breath the whole way through, because I really didn’t have a clue what would happen next. I have begged another_Hero to write an 85K fic but have been CRUELLY rebuffed.

I am so, so grateful to all the writers who devoted time, talent, energy and ideas to this universe; reading your works these past few months has been not just a privilege but a pleasure, and I would take you all out for drinks if I could. (And if I can, at some point, I will, so be warned.) Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[praycambrian]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Ted Lasso (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Trent Crimm/Ted Lasso Characters: Trent Crimm, Ted Lasso, Henry Lasso, Seraphina Crimm Additional Tags: Family Reunions, Late Night Conversations, Kansas, Children, Not Canon Compliant Summary:

Ted gives him a look. There’s a glint in his eyes despite the exhaustion, as if he can see right there on the inside of Trent’s skull how beautiful the moment is to him. “And you doubted there were things in Kansas worth driving to see.”

Ted brings Trent and the kids to the annual family reunion. Featuring: insomnia, metaphysical poetry, a very large fridge, and at least twenty bees.

______

like many people watching ted lasso right now, i was delighted by the @leupagus masterpiece “a kind of dwell and welcome.” (which, good lord, THANK you.) 

anyway! here’s some fic-of-a-fic that i had way too much fun writing. hope you enjoy ✌  

[kevinbparry]

A strange little film I made in 2010 about a mysterious, bearded man in the Arctic...

[alive2mila6]

Some domestic Porthamis moments🙏

I can't with them, they warm my heart ><

Shoutout to @malueris-art that gave me most of the ideas for these drawings!! I love you queen🫵🔥❤️

[bazinmousqueton]

I'm obsessed by MyTenderMadness's fic The Consortium of Genoa - aka History's Worst Closet. It's a Joe/Nicky The Old Guard AU set in a (very) alternative medieval Genoa, as told by a history podcaster.

The voice is perfect, the historical sources are hilarious, and underneath it all there is King Nicolò II (with the "the moral flexibility of a cathedral wall") and Yusuf ("Pirate. Prince. [...] Problem with cheekbones.") falling in love and making it the entire Court's problem. Highly recommended.

I couldn't resist making fanart calligraphy of this letter from Brother Benedicto - who just wants some peace in the library - to his Abbot.

Rough drafts and lettering experiments under the cut.

[raedear]

Right, which one of you works for Superdrug?

[tyrian-red]

my erotic fanfiction is more historically accurate than yours. here it claims that shes moaning 'yes,' however classical latin didn't have a word that corresponds to Modern English 'yes,' i.e. an affirmative answer to an interrogative. You could have easily avoided this glaring implausibility by allowing her to moan plus, 'more'—as exemplified in my critically acclaimed fic with an unprecedented number of kudos (eleven). I recommend that you log out of AO3 and return only after acquiring satisfactory knowledge of the subject matter.

[illustrate-her]

Hello! May I humbly remind you of the WW2 French Resistance BBC Musketeers AU - Chanson d’Automne - I started in 2014 and finished about this time last year? It’s an odd-sounding AU but trust me, it works!

This is kind of a specialist interest of mine, I did a shit-ton of research and I think it’s got some really lovely stuff in it if I am allowed to toot my own horn here (if I can’t do it here I don’t know where I can). Anyway! Maybe give it a read!

[ohlafraise]

virgin nicolò and experienced yusuf, but like, yusuf is an incurable romantic and nicolò has just forsaken a life of piety and chastity. yusuf wants to kiss sweet and slowly under the moonlight. nicolò wants to bounce on it in the middle of dinner. yusuf wants to read sonnets during lovemaking and nicolò wants to 69 on the floor.

[from-a-farther-room]

In a similar vein: Nicolò is technically a virgin and Yusuf technically isn't, however Yusuf has read a lot of erotic poetry that is beautiful and sensual and rather too heavy on flowery metaphor to be particularly instructive with respect to specific physical acts, and his personal experience is limited to a few mutual hand-jobs with peers who didn't know any more than he did about what else two consenting gentlemen might get up to together.

Meanwhile, Father Nicolò used to take confession from Genoa's Number One Gay Manwhore, who thought it was very funny to scandalize prudish priests by going into far, far too much detail on his many and varied transgressions. Joke's on him, Father Nicolò was into it. Father Nicolò was taking notes so as to better *cough* reflect *cough* on the nature of carnal sin *cough* privately later.

Suffice it to say therefore that Yusuf is not prepared when Nicolò shows up to the 'that kiss was great maybe we could do more??' conversation with crude but unambiguous diagrams of positions that sounded interesting and questions like 'so how extensive does the prep for rimming actually need to be, Anselmo was always unhelpfully vague on that point?'

[materassassino]

GUESS WHO FINALLY WROTE IT?

[firethesound]

So this was hilarious and hot and entirely delightful, go read immediately!

[hachinana87]

Joe 👁