Be a Boy Suggestion

Requests/submission are open! Be the boy you wanna see in the world!!

[witchgays]

boys with big thighs? amazing, wonderful spectacular. lms if you agree

[mlmguardian]

this just in

autistic gay guys are amazing and deserve the world

[bullgod1997]

Gentle reminder that aromantic guys exist.

Aromantic guys of colour exist.

Aromantic trans guys exist.

And all aromantic guys are valid

[pastelwest-blog]

positivity post for fat boys

you are handsome

you are valid

you are not “gross”

you deserve just as much respect and validation as anyone else

I hope you’re having a great day

[amongie]

since no one else is gonna say it

shoutout to the trans boys who are excessively masculine to help ease their dysphoria

shoutout to the trans boys who learned how to use makeup just to make yourself appear more masculine. shoutout to the trans boys who dont want to touch makeup even for that just because of feminine connotations

shoutout to the trans boys who are teaching themselves to walk like a typical male would to avoid their hips naturally swaying

shoutout to the trans boys who are repulsed by their body and how feminine it is

shoutout to the trans boys who hunt, woodwork, work on cars, or partake in any other traditionally masculine activity

shoutout to the trans boys who have to completely reject traditional femininity to feel less dysphoric

[boysdeservelove]

I wanna cuddle and watch Netflix with boys.

[beaboysuggestion]

Be a boy who thinks Neil Cicierega should be president of the United States 

[beaboysuggestion]

Be a boy who gets anxiety from even the mildest discourse 

[beaboysuggestion]

Be a boy with OCD

[tritonvevo]

????????????

How is this a suggestion????

[beaboysuggestion]

I thought about it, and I can see how this can be misconstrued. Lemme explain my thinking. The emphasis of this blog is the "be a boy" part. I made this blog because I can feel invalidated by random stuff that doesn't even seem linked to gender, and thought maybe others do too. The suggestion is not meant to be to "get" OCD (though I completely understand how it could have been viewed that way), but that if you do have OCD, you can be a boy with OCD.

[beaboysuggestion]

Be a boy who loves the McDonalds monopoly and has won like 5 Now TV passes

[fatphobiabusters]

Do y'all have any suggestions for feminist, anti-fatphobic blogs/spaces that are specific to men? Even particularly straight/cis? I don't want to detract from the spaces that are generally really good for women or LGBT, but sometimes I feel really isolated from the positive conversations I see here and in other places, and I suppose I hoped you all might know of good places to look. I appreciate this blog, and I am not looking to leave, just kind of wanting to target my needs more specifically.

To be honest, most of the blogs I know that are specifically for men are extremely anti-feminist and don’t address issues in a way that I would consider accurate; for example, they’d argue that men and women are equally oppressed or that men have it worse than women, and not understand how issues of fatphobia relate to oppression. Most are pretty fatphobic, too. 

The only thing I can think of is guys-positivity, which I have seen say a few problematic things (like attacking geekandmisandry for believing in patriarchy), but I hear is run by a woman who wants to help men? I guess? I don’t know.

Honestly, I’m not sure you can find what you’re looking for. I’m sorry. Maybe our followers would know? You could also just follow more fat men like @fumbledeegrumble. 

-Mod Bella 

[geekandmisandry]

Haha, yeah, that blogger used ableist slurs against me for existing and talking about the patriarchy. Someone did message me a positivity blog, anyone know of any?

[living-for-fiction]

I don’t know any blogs specific for straight and/or cis men… @fatmlm is a body positive blog for mlm run by a nonbinary transmasc person, but it is specifically for mlm, not straight guys…

[geekandmisandry]

Yeah, like… I know anon probably means that he doesn’t want to take away from trans men or anything, but wanting a cishet male positivity blog is a bit… Eeeeehhhhhhhh

[fthgurdy]

He did specify ‘feminist’ and I’d bet the other implication is trans-inclusive. He didn’t even say it needs to be a positivity blog.

I don’t think it’s ‘eeeeeh’, honestly, there should be places where cishet guys feel free to talk about themselves that don’t encourage them to blame everyone else, especially queer people and women, but to place themselves honestly in their privilege and toxic upbringing. I think that’s a healthy need and I’d love to see spaces like that, instead of all this meninist crap being the only ‘support’ available.

I mean where’s your dude who isn’t queer and is pretty damn privileged, but conscious of this gonna go if he wants to talk about himself without stealing focus? The patriarchy doesn’t want to hear his honest self-reflections, they wanna poison him again. And they love giving him the idea that feminists don’t allow him to talk at all and completely disregard his feelings.

There’s listening but also there’s talking, and that’s something people need to do, even the privileged ones. I’m not gonna go into PoC spaces and expect to be given room to talk about my issues battling the harm I can do as a privileged white person (tried that once, got smacked :P) . I’m gonna keep listening to PoC but talk to other white people. But they gotta be white people who won’t try to coddle me and say i’m never to blame because racism doesn’t exist. 

So, you know, I think healthy spaces for men who are not disenfranchised in too many ways but are conscious of their privilege are necessary, and I honestly think the anon is doing a good job asking for one. Look at his criteria:

feminist

anti-fatphobic 

where he won’t steal space from women or LGBT people

where he won’t feel isolated and can address his specific needs

Looks fair to me. I hope you find a space like that, anon- or get some people together and make one??? there’s probably (hopefully) more guys like you needing this.

[zywritesporn]

If anyone finds this thing, lemme know.

[fatphobiabusters]

Wow, this lead to some really interesting commentary.

You’re right, and this is what concerns me. Every guy positive space I can think of is anti-feminist, is dedicated to talking shit about women, the lgbtqia community, people of color, etc., and talks about cishet white guys as if they are the most oppressed of all. I can’t think of a space that isn’t like that. 

I agree, given the criteria set by the anon, he wasn’t asking for anything bad. It’s a shame he can’t find this. 

Hm, maybe someone could consider making one?

-Mod Bella 

[lesbianpeachs]

Yes this is something I’ve been talking about recently - how can we expect guys to be better if we don’t think they deserve spaces to be better in and feel like its normal? Spaces that are /for them/ but aren’t chock full of influential behaviors that they want to avoid?

And given the criteria of the question, its likely the asker is fat himself and fatphobia is pervasive no matter what privileges you have otherwise. Wanting a space you can fit in that’s not toxic is normal, and its frankly very worrisome that there isn’t a space for guys like that. Fat guys need encouragement, trans or cis.

I mean there wasn’t even a place for fat mlm until I started that blog!

Boys need spaces to express themselves and be themselves without having to worry about talking over other people all the time, but also don’t have to worry about toxic masculinity and the patriarchy and other corruptive forces.

I mean if I started up a blog that was feminist/anti-fatphobic etc. for guys in general would others be willing to mod?

[beaboysuggestion]

Hi I run this blog for all men (I'm kinda bad at being active but I try) and there are quite a few blogs which are feminist,anti-fatphobic, anti racist etc space for all types of men. (I'll tag some later, don't have the spoons rn)

[beaboysuggestion]

Be a boy with OCD

[beaboysuggestion]

Be a boy who tries to express himself even though it's hard

[allboysarelovely]

boys:

if a girl is making you uncomfortable, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SAY IT.

fucking crush the stereotype that men are always supposed to “want it”

[iamryanhenly]

[beaboysuggestion]

Be a boy who can touch his nose with his toungue

[beaboysuggestion]

Be a boy who hates pineapple on pizza