*packing my suitcase for a 3 day trip* hm, but what if I need my terracotta warriors..

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we're not kids anymore.

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@beanershnitzle
*packing my suitcase for a 3 day trip* hm, but what if I need my terracotta warriors..
girl it’s just a 3 day trip, you do not need to bring your terracotta warriors 🙄
randomly remembered “i have d cups, grandpa. the waitress thinks you have dementia” tonight so i decided to find the original tweet again and
[ID: A Tweet and self-reply by Twitter user Akira.
The original Tweet says "At a certain magnitude of cunt severity, getting misgendered by your family stops hurting and starts being funny. I have D cups, Grandpa. The waitress thinks you have dementia."
The reply reads: "UPDATE: she was right". End ID]
NEW TUMLER VIRUS
this shark is hungry. dangerous.
this shark wants to eat your blog.
if u dont reblog this cyber shark you’re blog will be delieted DONT RISK IT
youve angered it
just a reminder that someone sent me a death threat over this post
mutuals feel free to do this
I love this lil guy he looks so happy ;_;
if you've never been clinically depressed, this is the short version
The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!
well maybe i am "the faggot america"
are you sure?
I have a client who communicates exclusively via Microsoft Word.
If she has something to tell me, I’ll receive an email with nothing in the body, but a Word doc attached. That’s where she writes her message.
Whenever she wants to email me a photo, she does so via an empty Word doc with said photo set as its background.
But my favorite thing was the first time I witnessed her visiting a website. She had me spell the URL (“W… W… W… dot…”) and with my own two eyes I watched her type it into Word, made it a hyperlink, and Ctrl click it to go there.
I was so fascinated I didn’t even say anything.
a different microsoft world
i wish people were nicer about the whole transgender thing
then what
humans will see a swamp and build a city on it and then spend the next 2,000+ years struggling to keep it from turning back into a swamp
everybody saying a different city is cracking me up
"Kill your local sex offender!" Oh, you mean the guy who went streaking at his local college football game on a dare one time? That's a sex crime.
"No, I mean-"
Oh, maybe the woman who had to pee in a public park that only had pay toilets, so she tried to hide behind the bushes but got caught? Public urination is a sex crime.
"What? No, I mean-"
Oh, maybe you mean the homeless guy who had to strip down to get his clothes in the laundromat to clean them for the first time in weeks? He tried being subtle, but someone called the cops on him, and now he's on the sex offender registry for public nudity.
"Rapists and pedophiles! Kill rapists and pedophiles!"
Oh, like the trans woman who got called a pedophile groomer for helping a trans kid escape her abusive parents?
Or maybe the black man who got labeled a rapist because he came on to another man's wife, and he decided to get back at him by charging him with rape?
How about the 17 year olds who were fooling around, fully consensually, in one of their bedrooms? That's still technically underage sex and thus rape of a minor.
Oh, or maybe you're talking about the doctor who performed genital reconstructive surgery in a state that just voted to get that classified as rape?
People will do everything they can to get you convinced rape and pedophilia are the worst crimes possible, then accuse whoever they like the least of being either a rapist, a pedophile, or both, counting on you turning on them just for being accused of the crime.
"Oh, so you're saying you don't want to kill a serial rapist?"
That's exactly what I'm goddamn saying.
Once we decide a group is okay to kill, the government will do everything they can to convince you that their political enemies are either part of that group, or just as bad as that group, to get you to kill their enemies for them.
The only way out is to accept every life as worth saving.