The Lonely Lady
The Comedian notices a beautiful, lonely lady. But how lonely is she actually?
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“ –and then I said to him, ‘We backed down, and we gave up...’”
His heart calmed down, as the room burst into roaring laughter. This joke routine has, thankfully, rather gone well from that gig he did at Upper Flagley last week, where not a single person had made a sound, ‘Posh twats’ he thought.
His eyes examined the room, a couple in a dark corner were so busy snogging that they barely noticed a man choking on his beer behind them, his mates thumping hard on his back.
His eyes eventually drifted to the dark front row corner table. He noticed that a short young woman was laughing at all his jokes with a genuine laughter, not something she had forced herself to.
After the audience had settled, and the laughter had dried out, he started his next segment, Audience Work.
“I am seeing a lot of single ladies and lads, I guess that's why only the people with miserable lives come to my show.”
The audience burst into laughter, again.
His eyes drifted to the woman in the corner, still laughing.
“You seem quite lonely,” he pointed to her “for a woman full of lively laughter.”
The woman laughed harder at this.
“I am not alone,” said the woman in faux offense, ”my boyfriend is coming but he’s a little late…”
The crowd groaned.
“Dump his arse!” said a drunk man from the crowd.
At this, the crowd got louder. Even the snogging couple had stopped to watch.
“That man is right, you should dump his arse! That bloody arsehole should’ve treated you better!” said the comedian.
“He is very busy at work," said the woman, still grinning even wider, “he has an important job after all…”
“What? Is he defeating dark lords or something?”
Her grin grew even wider at this, like Christmas has come earlier.
“Depends on the day, mate.”
“Can he fight?” asked another man from the crowd.
“Well…he only knows one spell…”
“I knew he was a prat from the beginning.”
The crowd then shifted their heads to the other direction where a baby started crying.
“Shh! Keep quiet, duck!” said the baby’s mother who had it in her arms.
“Who brings a baby to a standup comedy show?” said a man angrily in the crowd.
The comedian then referred to the man who was talking about throwing a bachelor party after the show tonight. Then a woman who was talking about her recent breakup with her boyfriend.
In the last twenty something minutes of the show, a man came, trying to be stealthy but easily got spotted, sat beside the lonely, red haired woman from earlier, gave her a kiss and whispered something to her after which, she left out a laugh.
“Well, well, well, look who decided to show up.” said the comedian.
The crowd started playfully booing at him.
The man looked confused whilst the woman was bursting with laughter.
“Can we have spotlights on this lad please?”
The spotlights moved to the man. And what he saw, was a face he was seeing in the prophet since the past year.
His face looked younger in real life than the paper showed, and his green eyes looked more lively.
“That's Harry bloody Potter!” said a voice shouted from the back.
Yes, the comedian thought, he was indeed Harry bloody Potter.
And the woman, who was now doubled over from laughter, was Ginny Weasley.
And Harry Potter looked like he had been caught in a joke that he’s not a part of, which was, technically, true.
