This is where I became who I am.

............................….………

[beautifuladolescents]

Do you still love your ex

It is complicated but even if I still do, I shouldn’t. We are total opposites.

[beautifuladolescents]

Are you in love with someone?

Not someone that exists. Someone that I thought existed. HAHAHA complicated?

[beautifuladolescents]

Why do you always write poems?

It is my form of self-expression. ;)

[beautifuladolescents]

So what would yo do if someone u know,not really a friend,came to you and said he likes you.

I have previously answered this question: “I’ll tell him I’m not ready for love because my heart is busy elsewhere and I’m still going through my healing phase.”

[beautifuladolescents]

“ I think the worst of it all is that we never got to talk about what you did. I mean what can I possibly tell you? It’s not like I can go ahead and notify you that now I know why your phone was always kept private or why you were always questioning my honesty and loyalty. It’s not like I can ask you if you weren’t afraid of the day you’ll lose me when you cheated. It’s not like my currently drained mental status can listen to your excuses or handle your defense mechanism. I know that you never really told me everything and that I was skeptical with all the sirens that screamed “HE IS A JERK”. But I always thought I was harsh on you; at least that’s what you made me feel. Turns out I was a fool for your games and lies. How could someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles have the ability to dig deep wounds into a young girl’s open and clean heart? I gave you everything and all I ever got was pain.”

Hanya Grida Rants

[beautifuladolescents]

What would you do if someone came to you amd said he likes you?

I’ll tell him I’m not ready for love because my heart is busy elsewhere and I’m still going through my healing phase.

[beautifuladolescents]

Who is the boy you wrote to him all that

I don’t have to be writing everything for myself, I often write to help other people relate. Honestly though, I write about my ex most.

[beautifuladolescents]

Why are you so arrogant?

Confident*. I keep a confident outer shell but the people who know me deeply know that I have my moments.

[beautifuladolescents]

Are you selfish?

Umm no, at least not with the people I love.

[beautifuladolescents]

Dear babe, I miss the way you walk. I miss how your left leg swipes the floor clean to meet with your right one slowly, repeating that as you look around. I miss how you used to empty the chewing gum pack and bite on a huge gum ball. I remember the movement of your profile and the sharpness of your jawline. I miss the sound of your laugh. Spontaneous. Random. Genuine. Like those waves last summer. The waves that were too big to swim through so I used to fall in deep through them but I pull up smiling even though I lost breath. The blue hue captured me just like your laugh and the thought of it makes me smile. You smile when you catch me smile. I miss your smile. It smells like a breeze in my backyard after it rains. On your smile....... The safety it screams. The peace sparkles it emits. One more glimpse of the dark-cinnamon swirls of brown in your eyes and one more push against those pink petal-like lips of yours can ease what I've been going through. "

Hanya Grida

[beautifuladolescents]

You taped my mouth; locked all the music... You stitched the singer inside of me; claimed it isn't art... You denied the existence of psychology in fear I'm ADD... You raised me in fear of gaining weight and spanked my ass to tell me it is not toned enough... I grew up with eating disorders, anemia, confidence issues, learning disabilities, and so many songs I lost the ability to sing... Now, you punish me for being in pain...

Hanya Grida

[lilpieceofmyworld]

[beautifuladolescents]

I know exactly which details in you that I’ll miss, if I ever have to miss you. How your eyes sparkle after two second of the twinkle. I know like the back of my hands that when you are feeling down that sparkle may not keep pace. Sometimes, your eyes may not sparkle. But that’s not a problem for I have other things to miss………. The sweet/sour scent of your breath mixed with your favorite pasta from the restaurant where not a single serveur missed our too good to be true kiss. If not mixed with pasta then it’s still good, so good I sometimes lose memory of. But that’s not a problem for I have other things to miss………. The feel of your lips pushing against my lips: Young Mignon Safe Scared Let pink symbolize safe        Blue symbolize scared Our kiss is pink and blue; no, pink but blue; I mean we smile when it’s pink, smile when it’s blue; Our kiss our pink our blue. And if I don’t know if I should miss the pink or the blue, I have an infinite number of other things to miss.

Hanya Grida

Watching his basketball practice 

[nicolethedopefiendqueen]

She's a girl who wants nothing more than to be loved and to do drugs and the two not interfere with each other.

sick of people who love me leaving me when i get high again.  (via nicolethedopefiendqueen)

[beautifuladolescents]

Take me somewhere nice. Take me somewhere free of hate. Take me somewhere I won’t be back-stabbed, not even front-stabbed. Take me to the world of poetry and give me the strength to not pay attention to any distractions. Take me somewhere nice.

Hanya Grida

[matchagirl]

[beautifuladolescents]

    I don’t want to hurt you out of love. This world is full of tough love that would slit deep wounds on your wrists. We don’t have to go through that; we don’t have to go through that together. I do not want to put flaws to our fantasy with all the ruins that my past filled me with. You are so damn clean from the inside and I’m not sure I can keep up with that.

    Behind the love I show you lay quitting thoughts that I feel are drawn from issues my dad carved in me. I inhale commitment issues and exhale trust ones, for a second or two. But then, I fall in love with your fresh facade and fresher within. You are my comfort zone and greatest fear and it causes me tension and mind art.

     I thought I didn’t belong in this world; I thought I was a victim of this world, like I was meant to be in another world. Turns out I’m not alone, fitting in a spotless world as unpolluted as you are. It wasn’t in my plan to welcome someone on my journey but you make it so worth it, just this tension behind the scenes.

      But I’ll still do me and watch you do you, side to side and making memories as memorable as the complexion of our bond’s beauty deserve. For how true you are to yourself, this tension will not draw us apart.

-       Hanya Grida (Thoughts I can’t help but write out)

        11/1/2017

        Chemistry Class