[mirethos]

[s3b4s7ian]

[inkpressedpetals]

[beautifulimperfectionsz]

Too Young for Toxic Love

I could see it in your eyes

So dark and so cold

How could we be so broken?

I’m only 18 years old.

I search your face for even a drop of love,

I’m met with the opposite, a push or a shove

I wish so many times that things could be different

& you put the mask on and pretend that you’ll listen

I finally gather strength and you beg and you plead

“I promise I’ll change. I can be what you need.”

I stay and I pray that this time is for real

I try harder and harder to make sure you can feel

The love I have for you is so fucking strong

So why is it so difficult to just get along?

Physically, sexually and mentally, you establish control

You’re breaking my heart and crushing my soul

But you’re broken too and I think I can help

I gather all my needs and tuck them away on a shelf

Because maybe if I love you in a way you’ve never had,

You’ll realize I’m worth changing for and be so glad

You’ll be so proud and grateful and maybe you’ll cherish me,

But we go out in public and again you embarrass me

You yell and you scream and you spit in my face,

You tell me I’m worthless and such a disgrace

You call me annoying, ugly and fat too

You remind me the only person that could love me is you

My love is a gift, it’ll heal you; just let it

I’m trying everything, why don’t you get it?

This hurts so much, I’m trying to hold on

But Im struggling, I can only take this for so long

I stare at the wall and I wonder why,

I get so depressed, all I do is cry

It takes some time, but finally I see

While trying to fix you, you’re breaking me

It hits me and I realize, my love cannot save you

You were so selfish, and I always forgave you

This hurt more than “no one likes you”

This hurt more than the way that my pain excites you

This hurt more than the girls, the lies and manipulation,

It hurt more than the name calling and the constant accusations

It hurt more than the yelling and all the disrespect

It hurt more than the rejection and constant neglect

It hurt so much more than the black eye and bruises,

I’ve given my all and still he refuses

To change and be better and love me just right

I never wanted to leave, but I have nothing left in me to fight

My first real taste of pain and God does it sting

I tried to leave before, but I just couldn’t bring

Myself to finally do it, but I have to, I know it

I wanted to feel loved, but you just couldn’t show it

This hurt more than “stop crying, I can’t stay hard when you’re like that”

This is my reality and I just couldn’t fight that

I plan my escape and there’s one more chance for you to notice

But my pain and tears just were not your main focus

So I left in the morning, this time I held my tongue

I sobbed quietly and felt my heart shatter,

God I was too young

[tiredandlonelymuse]

This is how I originally wrote it. One of those that starts as a poem and then begs to be a song. I posted a fragment of this on tumblr a while back, but here’s the initial piece in its entirety 🤍

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Anaïs Nin, from The Voice

[tiredandlonelymuse]

by Sarah Pardini

[heylsgowt]

[a-little-less-than-okay]

I’m so scared you’re the only good thing I’ll ever have

[a-little-less-than-okay]

[stephaniesblogxx]

Marilyn Monroe, 1949.

[rudy10-blog]

Small acts of kindness make the world a better place

[ivynightshade]

[text id: i am too little, and too much, and never enough.]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am tired of making a religion out of my suffering’.

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, from i mother it the absence of her, iii. i am not a person that can be loved for a very long time excerpt from moony moonless sky.

[ashstfu]

forever in awe of people who pay attention. people who wait for you while you tie your shoes while the others have walked away. when they continue listening intently while the rest of the group stopped listening. noticing your moments of silence when everyone else hasn’t. “this made me think of you” noticing things you never even noticed about yourself. people who say “text me when you get home safe.” people who make you laugh until you cry. childhood friends who keep in touch. people with genuine intentions. people who are soft when the world has given them every opportunity to turn hard. the “let’s get ice cream” at 3am friend. the turn up the music in the car and sing friend. people whose actions match their words. people who make the world feel less chaotic. kindred spirits. the trustworthy and honest. hard workers. good listeners. clear communicators. people who love you for who you are. people who don’t ask you to be anything other than yourself. people who choose you. people who stay.

[beautifulimperfectionsz]

😭

[stuckinapril]

are u ever sick w longing. and i don't just mean romantic longing. i mean longing for a place you barely get to see, longing for friends you no longer have, longing for feelings you might have left behind in your childhood, longing for creativity, longing for a rich and more expansive life, longing for less inhibition. longing for more passion. longing for ur life to be so incandescent w something it thaws all the frost in ur bones. are u ever so consumed w it it rends ur heart in two. do u understand me

[stuckinapril]

this is not just "look out the window and sigh" longing. i'm talking you're at the grocery store and you're suddenly hit w a wave of grief bc you don't have it. you don't have whatever it is you ache so badly to have. you go about your everyday life and yet it throbs under your skin moment by moment, almost as though it has a life of its own. that's the kind of longing i mean.

[tiredandlonelymuse]

when it rains it pours,

but how big must a puddle grow

before it is considered a pond?

when does a pond become a lake?

i’m drowning,

but i insist that i’m dry.

insist i couldn’t die.

now every single day is overtime.

is extra credit.

is derealized.

i’m drowning but i

wring my clothes

and promise that i’m dry.

it’s good for the flowers, they say.

that’s very good.

you’ll need them soon.