B E C K W A N G

I mean, if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be.

[beckxwang-blog]

sashahart:

“Only probably?” Sasha grinned, leaning back against the headboard. She brought a hand down to swipe the hair away from Beck’s face, lingering only a second before it rested back against the comforter at her side. “Yeah, whatever, even I couldn’t make that shit look good. You’re doing a pretty okay job, though.”

“Everything’s been fine,” she says easily. Mostly, it was the truth. She slept in for the first time since the start of the season and with little else to distract her, she looked over her review materials. If the information sometimes swam before her eyes, if she slept in only after turning in at dawn, if she ate less than she should, there was no one around to call her on it. “Really boring, but whatever,” She took in a breath. Now that Beck brought it up, it’d kind of be a dick move not to reciprocate interest. “How was, uh, Philadelphia?” 

“Definitely,” Beck replied, with a roll of her eyes. And she meant it. A wistful hum made its way out of her throat, content to lay against Sasha without so much as a word. Sometimes, they’d just lay there, saying nothing, doing nothing, filtering through their own, private thoughts. It was nice, she... She felt safe in the other’s girls company. Unlike most people, Sasha wasn’t someone she had to constantly perform around: she could be angry, or honest, or just quiet and sad. She could bury herself in the small of the other girl’s back and feel...home.

Sasha’s lie didn’t blur past the intricacies of her brain, but she smiled regardless, knowing the girl had the means to see through her. “It was nice,” she replied, then, “a little lonely. A cat showed up on our doorstep, which was nice, though. Yeah. I’ve got a friend who’s having trouble getting back on her feet, so a lot of my break was spent helping her or helping out in my house. I don’t know if relaxation is something I’ll ever quite be able to grasp.” She let out a light laugh, looking up at the girl. “So, uh, Winter Banquet. Do you have any plans, or like?”

[beckxwang-blog]

📩 teddy ⇄ beck

teddy: that was the most education text i have ever received

teddy: will a screwdriver still work if i use a mug i have no fancy glasses

teddy: i have no glasses at all

teddy: i broke them

beck: ah, sorry! I hope it was helpful, at least

beck: I’m sure it will! I think presentation can augment or detract from the impact of a drink, but the container is hardly necessary with regards to the drinkability, I think

beck: And oh no! That’s okay-- I don’t own any glasses except for a few that I borrowed from the dining hall

beck: kitchen supplies are vastly interesting, though! I hope to accumulate a large amount someday

[beckxwang-blog]

juliettedrake:

“Yes, him. I mean, I’m pretty sure there was more drama but after the halftime show, I kind of get amped up on cheer and I can’t really watch the game. I guess I don’t really get it… cheer is one of those things that has been cathartic enough for me.” Being one cog in a bigger machine. It was comforting in the same way that thinking about how, in the end, her life was inconsequential in the universe. That the stars at night were probably half burned out by now and there were billions of stars she might never see because their light was too far away. Being one part of a whole was comforting. It was weird to explain to people. She bit into her snack to cover up the introspection.

“Juliette. We probably have met, there are just a lot of people. Easy to forget. Not that– Oh my god, not that any of you are forgettable, it’s just… overwhelming.” She blushed, realizing what she was saying. It was too easy to babble and get in her own head. At least in cheer everything was choreographed. She couldn’t bumble like that. She bit her bottom lip and took another bite. “I… Actually I was just going to take that hot shower and then find an all night breakfast diner or something and gorge myself. Sleep on the bus on the way back. Super crazy, I know.”

Beck nodded, laughing lightly. It suddenly dawned on her that the notion of “action” could  be absorbed differently based on one’s proximity to the court: something she’d been piecing together through her transition back into the goal. As a dealer, the court had seemed so much larger-- she lacked the vantage point of a static location. Comparatively, in the goal everything seemed...clear. Mapped out and in place. She could hardly imagine what the Vixens saw and how their roles intersected. The girl’s words earned a head nod from her, though she couldn’t claim to share Juliette’s experience. As a player, she was always fixated by what was happening on the court, even when she was benched or just watching. Then again, watching cheer was something she appreciated but didn’t nitpick.

“Tell me about it,” she replied, grinning lightly. Overwhelmed was, in all honesty, a great way to describe how Beck felt in the majority of her interactions-- buzzing lightly with nervousness, hands ruffled through hair in a desperate search for something to anchor her. Left foot tapping every so often. “That sounds great,” she replied, honestly. Her own body was so tired it could practically collapse. A call from a teammate signaled that the bus was set to leave, tossing a smile towards Juliette before following suit. “Well, uh, there’s my call,” she said, looking out towards the departing Foxes. “It was nice meeting you-- I’m sure I’ll see you around soon. We could get breakfast sometime? Anyway, yeah, uh, I’ll see you later.”

[beckxwang-blog]

1. Post a picture of u?

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

5. Can you commit to one person?

6. How do you look right now?

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

8. How often do you listen to music?

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2015?

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

13. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

16. Are you going out of town soon?

17. When was the last time you cried?

18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

23. Are you nice to everyone?

24. What are you sitting on right now?

25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

30. Does anyone hate you?

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

33. Are you a jealous person?

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

35. Did you have a dream last night?

36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

43. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

44. What’s the best part about school?

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

48. Were you single over the last summer?

49. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

50. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

SEND ME NUMBERS AND I WILL ANSWER.

[fuckyeahdirtylittlesecret]

Visit Original Link

“I Wanna” - The All-American Rejects

[beckxwang-blog]

sashahart:

Sasha tried to school her features into something less telling, anything that didn’t give away her pathetic relief. It didn’t amount to much since hearing anyone– hearing Beck, say she missed her, kind of made her want to cry. She rolled her eyes instead “I.. yeah, I missed you too.” The admission felt more incriminating than anything, and she kept her face hidden in the other girls’ shoulder to mask how red her face must be. If she stayed there for longer than was strictly necessary, well, that was between her and the sleeve of Beck’s shirt.

It occurred to Sasha that asking about her holiday was probably the thing to do in this situation. The idea was immediately shot down on the grounds that she was pretty sure she didn’t want to know. There was no way that hearing about Beck’s time with her family would do anything good for her mood. It was petty, but Sasha never claimed not to be. She pinched the collar of Beck’s shirt, pulling her further into the room. “Corporate sponsorship looks good on you,” she teased.

She gave a small intake of breath, pleasantly surprised by the length of the hug, grinning lightly as she held onto the other. It’d been too long since she’d seen her, taken in her familiar scent. Laid her chin on one of Sasha’s soft sweaters. She still wondered how they’d gotten here, sometimes– so different, yet similar in ways no one else could read. As if every molecule, every fiber of their being, was all or nothing. Either that, or more simply their draw towards destruction.

Whatever the case, she bit her lip as the girl pulled her forward, clearing pens off the bed as they sat. “Yeah?” She replied, raising an eyebrow, almost cheeky in her subtle flirtation. She couldn’t hold it, not for long, anyways, and quickly broke into a smile. “I feel like one of those pseudo angsty skater boys, to be honest. At least I don’t have to think about clothes anymore. Not that I feel like you’ve ever had that issue, but if you did, I'd still probably think you were pretty, so uh…” She cringed lightly at her own rambling, blushing red before burying her head in the other’s lap. “How’s everything been, anyway? I know breaks can be tough, so…”

[beckxwang-blog]

juliettedrake:

“I mean that one kid, Trask, tried to start a fight– and you totally killed the game, winning in a shut-out. That’s not like, a calm, casual game. You guys played so well.” She shifted her shoulders, a little, it was colder now that the game was over, she had to find where she put her sweatpants in her giant duffel bag. And a snack, god she could use a snack. Juliette shifted it around her shoulders, digging in to find her granola bars and pulling two out. Chocolate chip and dried strawberry. She held one out to Beck with a small smile, “Want one?”

She pulled out her jacket, shifting her bag around while she pulled it on, covering up over her uniform. The long sleeves and high collar were nice for cold months, but somehow the cold always seeped in when she wasn’t jumping around and dancing. It was a lot nicer with the jacket on. “I think we’re staying, it’s late, you know, it’ll be crazy late when we get back and I know I am dying for a hot shower. And not a locker room shower. One in a nice hotel bathroom with the little soaps. Which sounds… totally stupid, but I love those little soap bars.”

Beck raised an eyebrow, smiling lightly, before slinging an orange duffel over her shoulder. “Logan? Yeah– he’s going through a lot. Playing alone isn’t enough catharsis, sometimes, so… you know.” She nudged the girl, reassuringly, realizing most Vixens weren’t completely in tune with the inner workings of the team. They intersected, more than Foxes and most other students, anyway, but still, they were miles apart. Her eyes widened at the gesture, taking whichever was pushed forward, blushing slightly as she raised it to her mouth. “Oh, word, thanks a lot.” 

Her grin widened, not having realized how hungry she was, satiated– for a bit. Maybe this Vixen, like most of whom she’d met, was alright. “I’m Beck,” she offered, “I‘m sure we met at least once, at the house, or something, but yeah. Thought I’d formally introduce myself or whatever.” She stuck out her hand, only somewhat awkwardly, before shifting from side to side. As her gaze brushed the sky, she realized it was getting fairly dark– something that consistently seemed to be happening earlier. Wymack, as usual, had made the right choice in booking them all a hotel. “Yeah, I could use a shower too,” she agreed, laughing lightly at the mention of soaps. “Tell me about it. I used to stock up on all the free hotel stuff when I was in high school– saved me from having to spend what I didn’t have on shampoo or whatever. Do you have any plans for tonight, or…?”

[beckxwang-blog]

📩 teddy ⇄ beck

teddy: what does one mix with vodka??

teddy: i know yall dont drink this shit on its own

teddy: educate me

beck: You can mix vodka with vodka if you want! That’s what most Foxes do, anyway.

beck: Just kidding! (With regards to the first part, not the second.) Anywho, I took to the internet and figured out that orange juice is apparently a great mixer! If you want to take it up a notch, you can grab a fancy glass and mix one part vodka, one part orange juice, and one part orange soda to construct a popular mixed drink commonly known as a “Screwdriver!” Hope that was helpful! Other fruity drinks/juices work too. Vodka tends to be fairly flexible.

[beckxwang-blog]

√♔⁇

√ for a long winded confessing text, ♔ for an angry text, ⁇ for a worried text

BECK (√): Hey, Sasha~ I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to word this and idk. Bear with me through the incoherence if you can. I just wanted to let you know that I really care about you and am here to support you whenever I’m wanted. I often feel like my needs are solely burdens upon others because of previous experiences, but am actively working against that in the hopes of growth and change. I don’t know. I’ve realized that internalizing all of my hurt isn’t helpful, so I’ve been taking a chance and reaching out lately. It’s fucking terrifying tbh, but idk. I don’t want to lose my hope in humanity. I want to believe that things and people can be good. I don’t see other people’s hurts/needs as burdens, so if you ever need/want me and think that reaching out would be helpful, I’m here. I wouldn’t want to push you into doing that, but the offer stands. Hope you’re well~ I care about you!

BECK (♔): Okay so my fucking boss never gives me days off except on fucking game days WHICH I’M FUCKING BUSY DURING and tbh idek if that’s legal, but I’m like a literal hair away from quitting. Seriously though. People can fucking learn how to turn their computers off and on by themselves– it’s not that hard.

BECK (♔): Sorry that was really aggressive I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be taking out my anger on people who are just trying to fix their stuff. I’m sure it’ll get better once we find someone else who can work too.

BECK (⁇): Hey! Just checking in. Sorry I’ve been so busy with work/finals/etc. Anyway, for some reason you haven’t seemed as angry as usual and idk if that’s just my perception or if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I just wanted to see where you were if you wanted? ahh. Here 4 u!

[beckxwang-blog]

juliettedrake:

“That was some game.” Juliette leaned over to the person next to her, trying to strike up a conversation. She’d never been good at that, getting a conversation going. She as used to just being popular enough that people talked to her. She had a reputation to coast on. Here she was just a nobody; which had it’s own unique set of challenges. Like how she had next to no friends. But the routines went well, the crowd was pumped, she only missed one or two beats, and she landed all of her flips– not to mention the game itself was killer. She hadn’t seen that much tension on a field in a long time.

“I mean– not that I’m, like, an expert in Exy games or anything I’ve just seen a lot of them but I still don’t always… I’m… rambling, sorry. It was just… some game, you know?” She cleared her throat, looking away. It was stupid to say something, what was she thinking? She wasn’t capable of holding a conversation with another person without someone there to make her seem less… bland.

There was a certain pride that came only with victory— even when the stands weren’t primed to revel in it. The rush of adrenaline, helmets hot in the peel-off, sweaty hair flipped fast in blinding lights. It was this (and in some ways, only this) that made everything worth it, allowed Beck to feel like all the effort she made was worth while. That, and cheers from her own team eased the guilt she felt in locking eyes with the swath of crestfallen Tornadoes.

Her gaze shifted as she realized a Vixen had raised contact, nodding lightly at the other’s words. “Yeah, it was fairly uneventful, which is nice, for a change. Four-none’ll definitely boost our season record.” The brunette smiled, warmth emanating as she chugged from her water bottle, turning red as a squirt of water splashed aggressively onto her face. “You guys were great out there,” she replied, running a hand through her hair. “Are y’all staying overnight, or heading back, by the way?

[beckxwang-blog]

√ ☠

√  for a long winded confessing text, ☠ for a misguided advice text

BECK (√): Hey, Zia! Was reflecting on the interactions I’ve had with a lot of Foxes and just wanted to let you know that you’ve been a really good friend to me. I hold you close in a lot of ways! Thanks for accepting my past and not pressuring me to tell anyone else– it means a lot, truly. No one has ever been this cool about all my shit before and past traumas make it really hard. I know you see yourself as fairly cold and emotionless, but you’ve held me when I needed it most and I honestly don’t know what would’ve happened that night at the banquet without you. I admire you a lot and really value you as a friend– please let me know if there’s anything I can do in return. Name it and I’m there, honest.

BECK (☠): ON A TOTALLY UNRELATED NOTE– DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN EAT RAW SEA CUCUMBER? I feel like that’d be a great experience for us to share and I’d totally advise it

[beckxwang-blog]

♠ ☏ ☢

♠  for a drunk text, ☏ for a vague text, ☢ for a desperate text

BECK (♠): Heyyyy have you seen sasha anywhfer> dontt ypu guys libe toggethr?? can you tell herr that she’s prettyy for meee <3333

BECK (☏): Do you think we’re merely amalgamations of our pasts or do you think we can extend beyond them? Like, if we’ve been shitty before, does that mean we’re shitty now, or like, destined to be shitty forever? #askingforafriend

BECK (☢): Eli, this guy won’t fucking stop hitting on me and I’ve tried everything. This is super awkward, but like, can u pretend to be my gf or something and save me? Like, FAST, if possible

[beckxwang-blog]

⁇

⁇ for a worried text

BECK: Hey, Juliette! Was our paper due yesterday or did it get rescheduled like I thought it did? High-key freaking out because I checked the syllabus five times and can’t find the email our prof sent us? Thanks! #actuallylosingit

[beckxwang-blog]

♣

♣ for a text not meant for you

BECK: 生日快乐，奶奶！我想你。我希望你健康。我迫不及待地回家。我爱你！

[beckxwang-blog]

☢

☢ for a desperate text

BECK: Hey, Marley? Idk if you’re up right now, but I’m processing some shit related to the drive we took and my past and stuff and could really use someone. Sorry sorry. I didn’t really know who else to text and I hate burdening others like this. I’m sorry. I know you’re going through a lot too, which makes this twice as bad but idk what to do. Can I call you? I’m really sorry.

[beckxwang-blog]

√

√ for a long winded confessing text

BECK: Hey, Colin! I’m in Philadelphia and feeling really weird and tbh I didn’t know who else to text about this. Idk idk idk. Sometimes I just feel like my social anxiety is really paralyzing in a way and you always seem so sure of yourself, so… Like, you just go up to people and say how you feel and I wish I could do that. Idk. I just feel like I know such few people and before I was okay with being alone, but having friends and a team has made me realize that, yeah, I can get lonely a lot of the time and that sucks. Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is (UGH this is really awkward and hard to type), but like, idk how to make friends and idk idk help me if u can ahh. Sorry to bother you.

[beckxwang-blog]

⁇ √ ☼

⁇ for a worried text, √ for a long winded confessing text, ☼ for a congratulatory text

BECK (??): Hey, Grant! Haven’t seen you in a while and just wanted to check up on you. All okay?

BECK (√ ): To be honest, the team hasn’t been the same without you and wherever you are, I just wanted you to know that we’re here to hold you. I know I’m not someone you’re particularly close to, but I wanted to let you know how different this team is compared my high school one and why that means a lot to me! Take what you want from it. Idk. Anyway, my old team, (if you could even call it that tbh), was really just a business. Our captain was a complete jerk who actively excluded players and instated a hierarchy that was purposefully cruel and honestly really fucked me up. I don’t know. My coaches were complicit in the sense that they only treated me as a utensil who could guarantee them wins during games, and in a lot of ways, I became that. That’s how I got the leg injury that put me back in the goal about a month ago, because they pushed me past my limits. Idk where I’m going with this exactly, but I super appreciate the fact that you’ve invested a lot in helping the freshmen become part of this team– me especially. I know I’m weird and quiet and reclusive, which can be hard to work with,  but I’ve honestly come a long way. I don’t know. Anyway, yeah, I just wanted to thank you for that. I admire your work and can honestly only hope and work hard in the hopes of growing into as strong of a team member as you.

BECK (☼): DID I JUST SEE YOU GET A CUTIE’S NUMBER IN A COFFE SHOP? Congrats, ahh! Totally wasn’t creeping on you or anything.

BECK (☼): ….. saying that just made it creepy, didn’t it? .___.

BECK (☼): AHH SORRY omg.

BECK (☼): tbh I think I’m just making this worse, wahhh

BECK (☼): gonna gracefully float away now~