Your secrets are safe with my indifference

profile pic by @Pearl-in-the-sky-with-diamonds

[brattylikestoeat]

[queenqueso]

[curioscurio]

I think cis women should be allowed to get top surgery even if its not for a medical reason like breast reduction or cancer. I think they should be able to get it even if they're completely cisgender. Some women are just sick of dealing with them and would be much much happier never needing to wear a bra again

[nattousan]

Cis Women: if there was no social stigma/blowback, would you like to get top surgery?

Yes

No

i'm scared of surgery, if they just popped off my chest then yes, otherwise no

Remaining time: 6 days 15 hours

[oldshrewsburyian]

I finally saw The Odyssey, and one of my takeaways is that Robert Pattinson was tragically born too late to be a queer-coded antagonist in 1930s swashbucklers. That man is clearly meant to strike campy poses and get into his rival's personal space and be in slutty swordfights.

[sharpsarcasm]

Like this?

[oldshrewsburyian]

Exactly like this. Also like this:

[angel-derangement]

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

[angel-derangement]

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

[ablubluh]

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation

[thestenchofcheeseandregrets]

just as an aside, this is the only cool update this website has ever done

[whitepeopletwitter]

[nynehells]

YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART

[littlestpersimmon]

Blessings Of The Wool Dragon

[owenhcrper]

Grace + 👏 Project Hail Mary (2026)

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[smokingchagga]

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

[pansyfemme]

it really is crazy how there are so many influencers with millions of followers i have never heard of in my life

[pansyfemme]

every day someone is like ‘have you heard about the situation with johnny youtube?’ and i go. pardon. who the hell is that

[smokinghorse]

just had a really good mango it was so good that i had to illustrate how it made me feel afterwards.

[catstrat]

op’s tags are so fucking important to me

[enjoylentgreen]

[irenes-tender-world]

art nouveau enamel and pearl pendant by falize

[surprisemoose]

What kind of Millennial™️ are you?

Avocado toast millennial

I am bird watcher now.

I ran a marathon for fun?

Yes, I am currently working on five fiber art projects…

Other millennial stereotype that I will write in the tags.

I am unfortunately not part of the greatest generation aka here for the result

Remaining time: 5 days 4 hours

Please share!

[etirabys]

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

[argumate]

hello, fellow apes

[spitoutthedaisyhoratio]

The lead up to that sentence is gold:

[consistantly-changing]

[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]

[roach-works]

imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.

[obeliskthetormentorsfeetpics]

Addition approved

[coffeenonsense]

apparently the director of the no fucking til marriage movie is like "it's not the sex purge movie, that's not what it's about" but my guy I'm sorry you made the sex purge movie. that's what you did. like describe it however you want but conceptually the film is about a nation wide sex fest on the one day a year fucking is permitted by the state, that's a sex purge. the film can be about a wholesome romance happening during the sex purge but it is definitely the sex purge.

[coffeenonsense]

Wait ok so vanity fair just came out with an article describing the rules of the sex purge & apparently it's enforced bc the us government literally chipped its citizens like dogs with biomoniters that glow green when you're allowed to fuck. what in the conservative vanilla hell 😂😂😂

also apparently queer people in this universe just said "no thanks" when it came to this ban which is kind of based actually:

[charlesoberonn]

Necessary and sufficient

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

Adding a second lock was not necessary.

[charlesoberonn]

Understanding the difference between necessary and sufficient is necessary, but not sufficient to earn a math degree.

[charlesoberonn]

Part 2

[charlesoberonn]

Gladly!

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[itseasytoremember]

I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

[shofarsogood]

[ekjohnston]

The Cake Wrecks blog is one that I miss.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[beggars-opera]