Things Customers Need to Stop™ Doing Right Now:
-putting your shit on the absolute farthest corner of the register so that I have to reach to get your shit
-not pushing your shit forward after you see me reaching for it
-handing me one item, and then telling me it’s supposed to be on sale, and doing that for every sale item
-getting pissed when your sale doesn’t come off .2 seconds after I scanned it (it’ll come off at the end, be patient)
-taking your shit off the counter after I’ve scanned it and angrily putting it in a bag (if ya wanted a bag, fucking ask me)
-asking for me to bag dumb ass fucking items like a 12 pack of Coke or a 24 pack of toilet paper
-saying “wow, you guys should have a bell” when you’ve only been standing at the register for 3 seconds (I saw you come up to the register on the camera and came right out, you shithead)
-coming up to the register and asking me to get something down off the shelf for you when I’m literally in the middle of checking someone out
-asking me to get something down off the shelf for you and bitch when I have to go get a ladder
-asking for the bathroom key and then not buying anything afterwards (honestly, people asking for the bathroom is annoying in general because adults should be smart enough to take care of that before they leave their house, but mostly it’s just people who abuse it)
-saying stupid jokes as an answer to my obligatory “did you find everything okay?” (if you’re one of the people who say “yeah, too much!” you aren’t funny)
-telling me why you’re buying something or telling me a story about what you’re going to do with what you bought (literally just pay for it and get out. don’t talk to me)
-bringing up an item to the register, seeing it isn’t on sale, saying you don’t want it, and leaving it there (did you know that if you’re only buying a product because it’s on sale that you don’t need it? shocking)
-complaining to me about the company’s coupon policy or return policy or whatever policy
-putting your basket on the register and having me unload it (you put the shit in there, you can take it out. it takes longer and is annoying as hell to unload your shit)
-giving me a $50 or $100 when your total is only $8.75 or it’s the beginning of the day (retailers need to hang onto their change so they have enough to last; giving you $30 in 5′s is gonna fuck us over)
-getting cash back without asking if I have that in my drawer or not/asking me for specific change/asking me to break a bill (we’re not a bank)
-finding me on the floor as you’re walking up to the register and saying “I’m ready to check out now” (I check the register every minute or so, so you’re not helping, just pissing me off)
-pointing out that the store is a little messy when you have no idea why it’s a mess (and, in the first place, it’s none of your business. maybe we don’t have enough hours to clean it, maybe we’re doing inventory, maybe we’re in the process of cleaning up. it doesn’t matter to you as long as you get your shit, so shut the fuck up)
-writing a check, quibbling with change, or asking me multiple questions when there’s a whole ass line behind you
-asking me when we’re getting a specific product back in stock (you think I know what they ship us? check back in a few days)
-calling the store and asking if we have something, if we can tell you the price, and if we can hold it for you (come. to. the. fucking. store. yourself.)
-asking me where each and every item on your shopping list is (go look for it yourself, it isn’t that hard. i’m not here to shop for you)
-being vague when asking me where something is like: “do you have gloves” (? like latex gloves, dish-washing gloves, medical gloves, winter gloves, work gloves. like what kind of fucking gloves?)
-being vague about the cigarettes you want like: “give me Marlboro’s” (????? box? lights? menthol? 100s?)
-bitching about having to give me your ID to buy tobacco products (listen. it ain’t my choice. believe me, I can tell that you’re old enough, but I’m not about to get fired and fined because you’re not grown-up enough to hand me a piece of fucking plastic for the two seconds I need it)
-assuming we don’t have other shit to do besides immediately checking out your selfish, urchin ass
Add more as is needed. I will as well.
turnnoffyourmind
prguitarman
discoholicmusic
2087
snowghoul
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