Pumpki π

They/Them | Queer | 20s Long term obsessions: Half life/Portal, Minecraft, and various Bugs or Creatures (the priority of these shift frequently)

[flotorshi]

Literally every episode of My Cat from Hell

[sinningsleepingandshitposting]

Neatly summarized as: people not knowing how to properly take care of cats

[impuretale]

The episodes that don’t conform to this formula are also always the most interesting. These situations include:

1) I Didn’t Know My Cat Had PTSD and Has Gone Blind.

2) Your Cats Fight Because One of Them Doesn’t Know How to Speak Cat, and They’re Both Kinda Mad/Confused About It. 

3) Your Cat Sprays Everywhere? Get Them Fixed. Surprise Twist: They Were Fixed But It Was a Botched Operation.

4) We’re Going to Rescue 50+ Kittens, Take Them to Vegas, and Adopt Them All To Loving Homes.

5) This is Not a Cat. This is a Dog. 

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Hang on what was number five?

[teamvoorhees]

@libertarirynn   #5 was - 

[lastcupofsorrow-deactivated2024]

THATS A DOG?

[krystal-prisms]

This is one of the least dogs I’ve ever seen

[snissel7]

I would like to apologize to #5 for laughing

[thecrumbez]

Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).

I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.

[erratic-dragon-fruit]

out of the tags with you

[fipindustries]

ok this looks ultra mega based, are you kidding me? can you imagine the bullshit i could get up to with this bad boy? fuck yes i want ten

[mint-corset]

Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.

[such-justice-wow]

Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch

[lectorel]

Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are

[domina-honoribila]

I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.

[teaboot]

"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen

[sunderwight]

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

[dogpuppy]

[bewbin]

in World War 1 around 8 million horses died but in World War 2 it was under a million which can only mean horses started to evolve bullet resistance

[lordoftablecloths]

im sorry i couldnt just let these slide

[asundergrowth]

[nyxiemeow]

[windoftime]

[loulooser]

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

[spinostarz]

i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny

[loulooser]

why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????

[jarsjam]

THERE'S TWENTY ONE THIS TIME???

[fangedjester]

[fangedjester]

This video is getting big so I just want to add something-

This video is cute because millipedes are cute. They love nothing more than dirt, cucumber, and each other. They enjoy the walks of life and, even hesitant, continue to explore it. And they don't walk or crawl, they skip and gallop! Learn something from them and eat some cucumber, talk a walk, and maybe skip while you're at it.

[sentimentalslut]

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

[sentimentalslut]

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

[sentimentalslut]

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

[sentimentalslut]

framing these tags and hanging them up in my office to remind me that it can always be worse

[mevil]

[lizholmes]

[miragefannumber3]

creates a porn sideblog and you look in there and its just pictures of fucked up stairs leading nowhere

[vexwerewolf]

"They go to SEX CLUBS and pretend to be DOGS!"

Yeah well you go to church every Sunday and pretend to be a good person

[mens-rights-activia]

[overcookedsandwich]

next: masculine ways to penetrate your homies

please its urgent

[mens-rights-activia]

On it boss 🫡

[saturniidace]

[mens-rights-activia]

Yes thank you! This post is directly referring to this exchange

[roswellsoup]

bonus/proof:

we tipped her well dw. best waitress ever 🍒

[mf-dude]

[d0ggyd0g]

[rika-mortis]

Life is beach