Tired of life

27y female | sharing some sad thoughts on this blog to help me cope with being in a dark place sometimes

[been-in-hell-still-in-hell]

I feel this excruciating pain on the inside. I hate it because I feel like I should not feel like this, I should be happy with this life. It is more than most people have. But I hate this life, I hate myself, I hate the things I didn't do because I am scared to be alone, I hate me as a friend, as a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, a colleague. I hate that my brains won't shut the fuck up when I try to have fun, when I try to do better. I will never fit in, be good enough. Especially not good enough for me. I tried so so hard to accept myself in the past years, but this mental health journey has only caused me to despise myself even more. I desire life, I want to feel free and loved and confident. But this is not life. This is nowhere near life. And life is completely out of reach.

[nightlongnight]

Do you ever just cry in frustration because you feel there's something wrong with you no matter how much you try to fix it?

[paralysing-sadness]

[perfeqt]

“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.”

— Robin Williams (b. 21 July 1951)

[sunnydaysseemfaraway]

[professionallyunstable-deactiva]

i hate myself a little extra when i open up to someone.

[stresslessnext]

Just because I pretended to handle it well doesn't mean that I did.

[thoughtcascades]

i’ve been told to open up by people who couldn’t handle the surface

[perfectfeelings]

“I loved you in a way I wished someone would love me.”

— Mahmdou Darwish

[stay-close]

“Stop asking me to trust you while I’m still coughing water up from the last time you let me drown.”

— Unknown

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— william wordsworth (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[emotionalwords]

[sulfatto-deactivated20241018]

[thoughtcascades]

i don’t want healing, i want someone to sit in the dark with me and not ask why

[nitrogen]

by Joesee

[been-in-hell-still-in-hell]

My little world

I am trapped in a small cage underwater, in my own small world. I hear other people in the water talking softly. I feel their pain, I feel their screams for help but I cannot help them. The feeling strangles me, stabs like knifes in my chest. I am trapped. I whisper to myself 'hang in there, you will find a way to escape', wondering how much time I have left before I cannot breath anymore.

[undertheinfluencex1]

I want to be chosen without asking, remembered without reminding, loved without performing