Genre: Angst with happy ending, hurt/comfort, established relationship, soft romance, miscommunication, featured Soobin of TXT
Synopsis: Juhoon has always loved quietly. So quietly, in fact, that sometimes you can’t tell where his affection ends and distance begins. After one devastating argument pushes you out the door for hours, Juhoon is left alone with the horrifying realization that he may have finally broken the one thing he loves most.
Warning(s): Emotional argument, insecurity, jealousy, crying, panic attack, hurtful words, fear of abandonment, heavy emotional themes, LOTS of comfort
Word Count: ~18.9k+
A/N: Hai!! I know I’m writing another Juhoon fic…but I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS MEANT FOR HIM I DON’T KNOWWWW!! I know I haven’t been getting to my requests lately but I might need more time on those so I might just open up my requests again and get to them when I can instead of feeling the need to finish them all at once. I hope you guys really enjoy this one!! 🥰
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The first time you met Soobin, Juhoon was already regretting it. Not because anything was wrong exactly.
…Actually, that was the problem.
Everything was right immediately.
The backstage waiting room buzzed softly with overlapping conversations, makeup artists moving around hurriedly, half-empty coffee cups abandoned across counters while staff members rushed in and out through the open hallway door.
You sat tucked beside Juhoon on the couch scrolling lazily through your phone while waiting for him to finish discussing some last-minute schedule adjustments with staff.
Your legs rested across his lap absentmindedly. One of his hands stayed loosely around your ankle while listening to the coordinator speaking beside him, thumb brushing occasionally against your skin without him even realizing it.
Comfortable. Automatic. Like it was second nature.
That was how loving Juhoon always felt. Quieter, smaller things.
The coordinator finally left after another minute, and Juhoon exhaled softly before leaning farther back into the couch cushions.
“Tired?” you asked immediately.
His eyes flicked toward you.
“A little.”
Your expression softened instantly. Without hesitation, you shifted closer and pressed a quick kiss against the side of his jaw.
“There. Better.”
The corner of Juhoon’s mouth twitched faintly.
“Magic.”
“Obviously.”
He hummed softly, fingers squeezing your ankle once before his gaze drifted toward the hallway again.
Then suddenly-
“Juhoon-ah!”
A familiar voice echoed from outside the room moments before someone appeared in the doorway. And immediately, the entire atmosphere shifted brighter somehow.
Soobin walked into the waiting room with easy warmth radiating from him, oversized hoodie sleeves pushed halfway over his hands while he smiled the second he spotted Juhoon.
“There you are.”
Juhoon straightened slightly.
“Hey.”
Soobin’s eyes flickered toward you curiously almost immediately.
“Oh?”
You sat up quickly while Juhoon’s hand slid absentmindedly from your ankle to your knee instead.
“This is-”
“My partner,” you finished for him teasingly when he paused too long.
Juhoon glanced at you briefly, the tiniest bit embarrassed already.
Cute.
Soobin immediately broke into a grin.
“Finally! I was starting to think he made you up.”
You laughed instantly.
“Oh my gosh.”
Juhoon sighed quietly beside you.
“You’re dramatic. Do you not watch our promotions.”
“Not often…we just had a huge comeback,” Soobin defended while walking farther into the room. “Besides, every time I asked about dating you acted like I was interrogating you.”
Juhoon looked deeply unamused.
“You were.”
“He’s lying,” Soobin informed you solemnly before extending his hand. “I’m Soobin.”
You shook it warmly.
“I know.”
“Oh no,” Soobin gasped dramatically. “He talks about me?”
“Unfortunately.”
Juhoon physically rolled his eyes this time, but you caught the way his fingers slid lightly against your knee again beneath the conversation.
Still there. Still touching you.
Something soft settled in your chest automatically.
The conversation flowed strangely easily after that. Almost too easily. Soobin had one of those personalities that naturally filled silence without overwhelming it. Sweet without trying too hard. Funny in a soft, effortless way that kept making you laugh before you even realized it.
And honestly?
It felt comfortable immediately.
The three of you stayed in the waiting room talking for almost forty minutes while schedules delayed things repeatedly outside. Mostly you and Soobin talking.
Juhoon noticed that first. Not in a jealous way initially. Just observationally. You asked Soobin questions easily. Reacted quickly to his jokes. Interrupted him halfway through stories because you got excited and already knew what he meant.
And Soobin responded just as naturally.
“WAIT,” you laughed at one point, sitting up straighter. “You were the one who spilled ramen inside your manager’s suitcase?”
Soobin immediately pointed across the room.
“HE TOLD YOU THAT?”
Juhoon looked up from his phone calmly.
“You deserved it.”
“That was private information.”
“You smelled like broth for two days.”
You dissolved into laughter again, leaning sideways automatically until your shoulder bumped against Juhoon’s.
Instinct.
His eyes lifted toward you briefly at the contact. Softening instantly.
There you are.
But then Soobin continued the story animatedly, and your attention drifted back toward him again just as quickly.
Juhoon’s expression remained neutral.
Mostly.
Still, something unfamiliar pressed quietly beneath his ribs while he watched the interaction continue around him.
Not because anything inappropriate was happening. Nothing remotely close.
It was just…
Easy.
You laughed differently around Soobin. Freer somehow. Conversation moved effortlessly between you both while Juhoon found himself mostly listening instead of speaking.
Which normally…wouldn’t bother him. Juhoon had never been the loudest person in a room. He preferred listening. Preferred observing quietly while other people filled space around him.
But sitting there now, watching you beam brightly at another man while talking faster and more openly than you sometimes even talked with him, made something uncomfortable curled slowly inside his chest.
Small, but there.
“So then he tells me-”
Your hand landed briefly against Soobin’s arm while laughing again, and Juhoon’s gaze dropped automatically toward the touch before immediately lifting away.
The feeling worsened.
Not anger.
Something sadder.
By the time Soobin finally got called away by staff nearly twenty minutes later, you were both still smiling.
“I’m stealing you next time too,” Soobin informed you jokingly while backing toward the hallway.
“You absolutely should.”
“Traitor,” Juhoon muttered quietly beside you.
Soobin pointed dramatically.
“See? Possessive.”
Then he disappeared laughing down the hallway before either of you could respond.
Silence settled briefly afterward.
You leaned comfortably against Juhoon’s shoulder again almost immediately.
“That was fun.”
“Mhm.”
You tilted your head slightly.
“You okay?”
Juhoon looked down at you…and there it was again.
That immediate softening. Always immediate with you.
“Yeah.”
Then quietly, after a second-
“You like him.”
The statement sounded neutral enough that you didn’t think twice about it.
“Obviously,” you smiled, nodding your head a bit. “He’s really sweet.”
Juhoon nodded once.
Sweet.
Right.
Your fingers found his free hand automatically, intertwining with his while resting against his lap.
And Juhoon squeezed back instantly.
Automatic. Because no matter what uncomfortable feeling had settled quietly beneath his ribs over the last hour, you were still here. Still reaching for him first. Still choosing him.
So why did he suddenly feel so strangely left behind anyway?
♡
It started small after that. So small neither of you noticed immediately.
The first few times Soobin came around afterward, everything still felt normal.
Comfortable.
The four of you occasionally grabbed food together after schedules, sometimes met backstage during overlapping promotions, and once ended up wandering around a convenience store at nearly midnight because Soobin wanted ice cream and somehow convinced everyone else to come too.
And every single time, you and Soobin clicked together effortlessly.
“Wait no because listen-” you started one evening while sitting across from him in a restaurant booth. “If you had to survive a zombie apocalypse with one Cortis member who would it be?”
Soobin nearly spit out his drink laughing.
“That’s evil.”
“Answer.”
Juhoon sat beside you quietly pulling apart chopsticks and rubbing them together while listening automatically.
Soobin pointed across the table immediately.
“Not James.”
James looked offended.
“I’m intelligent.”
“You’d sacrifice me immediately for survival.”
“Correct.”
You physically folded over laughing.
Juhoon smiled faintly without meaning to.
There it is again. That sound. He loved your laugh. Loved it enough that hearing it usually softened every sharp edge inside him almost instantly.
But lately…lately there had been strange moments where hearing you laugh with someone else only made his chest ache instead.
And he hated himself a little for it.
Because Soobin was genuinely kind. Gentle. Easy to be around. There was nothing to dislike.
…which meant the problem had nowhere to land except back onto himself.
“You know who I’d choose?” you asked suddenly.
Soobin perked up.
“Who?”
You turned immediately toward Juhoon without hesitation.
“Him.”
Juhoon blinked once. Your hand slid absentmindedly onto his thigh beneath the table while smiling softly.
“He’d survive anything.”
Something warm flickered through his chest instantly.
There you are.
Soobin pointed dramatically.
“That’s because you’re in love.”
“I am in love.”
The words came easily. Casually.
Like they always did with you.
Juhoon glanced toward you again quietly, and suddenly guilt hit him hard enough to make his stomach twist.
Because you looked at him so openly. So honestly.
Meanwhile he’d spent the last week silently wondering why talking to someone else seemed easier for you than talking to him sometimes.
The thought made him feel sick immediately.
So instead of sitting farther inside that ugly feeling, Juhoon did what he always did.
Buried it. Deep.
Until even he couldn’t separate insecurity from silence anymore.
♡
The problem was, you noticed changes in Juhoon the way other people noticed weather.
Slowly at first. Then all at once.
It happened one night nearly three weeks later while the two of you were curled together in bed after another long schedule day.
Or…mostly curled together.
Usually, nighttime with Juhoon looked the same. You climbing into his space first, your legs tangled together beneath blankets, face pressed into his chest while his arms automatically wrapped around you afterward. Even if he was tired. Even if he was quiet. He always responded. Always melted eventually.
But tonight, something felt different.
You’d tucked yourself against his side almost ten minutes ago now, one arm draped loosely across his waist while soft rain tapped quietly against the apartment windows, and Juhoon still felt strangely still beside you. Not rejecting you, just…not reaching back.
Your brows furrowed slightly against his shoulder.
“Baby?”
“Hm?”
“You’re quiet.”
A beat of silence.
Then-
“Tired.”
Normally that answer wouldn’t bother you.
Except lately? Lately it was always tired.
Always fine. Always nothing.
You tilted your head slightly to look at him in the dim bedroom light. His eyes stayed fixed upward toward the ceiling, expression unreadable and distant in the dark.
Your chest tightened a little.
“You sure?”
This time his gaze finally shifted toward you.
And immediately softened. Because it always did.
“Mhm.”
But still-
His arm never tightened around you afterward.
And for the first time in months, falling asleep beside Juhoon felt strangely lonely.
♡
The feeling should have disappeared after that night. Honestly, you expected it to.
Everyone had off weeks sometimes. Busy schedules. Exhaustion. Stress. Juhoon had never been overly expressive to begin with…so you tried not to overthink it.
For a few days, you convinced yourself everything was normal.
Then little things started stacking. Tiny things. The kind that looked harmless individually but somehow felt heavier together.
Like the fact that you were almost always the one reaching for his hand first lately.
Or how he still smiled when you kissed him, but rarely leaned down first anymore.
Or how conversations seemed to end quicker than they used to.
Not cold, but shorter. Like Juhoon was always standing one step farther away than before.
♡
“Hold still.”
Juhoon glanced up from the couch.
You stood in front of him holding your arms out dramatically.
He blinked once.
“What?”
“Hold still.”
“…why?”
Instead of answering, you leaned down and pressed a quick kiss directly onto his forehead.
Then another.
Then one on the tip of his nose.
Juhoon physically froze.
You grinned.
“There.”
His ears turned slightly pink immediately.
“Ridiculous.”
“You smiled.”
“No I didn't.”
“You absolutely did.”
The corner of his mouth twitched.
Evidence.
You pointed immediately.
“AHA.”
Juhoon reached out without warning and caught your wrist before you could continue celebrating. Gently, he tugged down, and you stumbled directly into his lap with a startled squeak.
“Juhoon.”
“Quiet.”
Your heart immediately betrayed you.
Because even now, even after weeks of weird distance, moments like this still existed.
His arm rested loosely around your waist while the television played forgotten in the background. Comfortable. Warm.
Normal.
For a second you thought maybe you'd imagined everything.
Then your phone buzzed.
You glanced down.
SOOBEAN 🫘:
“did james actually put hot sauce in his coffee or was that a lie”
You laughed instantly.
“No way.”
Juhoon's gaze dropped automatically.
“What's funny?”
You showed him the message.
“Oh.”
Something flashed briefly across his face.
Gone so quickly you couldn't catch it.
Then he looked away.
“James probably did.”
You typed back immediately.
SOOBEAN 🫘:
“HE DID???”
YOU:
“apparently 😭”
SOOBEAN 🫘:
“that man is terrifying”
You laughed again.
And beside you, Juhoon went quiet.
♡
The problem wasn't Soobin. Juhoon knew that. He knew it every single day.
Which somehow made everything worse…because if there had been something concrete to point at…or something inappropriate…Juhoon could've justified the feeling. Instead he was left sitting alone with an ugly realization.
The problem was himself.
One evening, nearly a month after the first meeting, Juhoon found himself standing in the kitchen pouring water while your voice floated from the living room.
You were on speakerphone.
Laughing.
Again.
"So then he actually did it?" you gasped.
Soobin's voice crackled through the phone.
"I'm serious."
"No he didn't."
"He absolutely did."
Your laughter echoed through the apartment.
Bright, easy…effortless.
Juhoon's grip tightened slightly around the glass in his hand.
The thing was…you laughed with him too.
Every day.
So why did hearing it now feel different?
Why did it sound easier?
Why did it sound like the version of yourself he loved most seemed to come out naturally around somebody else?
The thought made him feel awful immediately…because it wasn't fair.
Not to you.
Not to Soobin.
Not even to himself.
Still, the feeling stayed.
♡
A few nights later, the four of you ended up meeting for dinner after schedules.
It should have been fun.
And honestly?
For everyone else, it was.
You sat across from Soobin sharing fries while arguing about movies, James looked one comment away from starting a fight, and Martin had somehow convinced the waiter to bring extra sauce.
The table buzzed with conversation.
Meanwhile Juhoon mostly listened. Which wasn't unusual.
Except tonight he noticed something.
Every time something funny happened, you looked at Soobin first.
Not intentionally.
Not consciously.
Just naturally.
The realization hit harder than it should have. Because there had been a time when you always looked for him first.
To share reactions. To exchange little glances. To silently communicate entire conversations with one expression.
Now…sometimes you still did. But not always.
And suddenly Juhoon couldn't stop noticing it. Couldn't stop noticing every laugh. Every conversation. Every easy interaction.
The insecurity grew teeth.
♡
"Baby?"
Juhoon looked up.
You stood in the bedroom doorway holding two shirts.
"Red or black?"
"...black."
"Thank you."
You disappeared again.
Three seconds later-
"Actually maybe red."
Juhoon sighed.
"Then wear red."
You immediately reappeared.
"You're so smart."
He snorted softly.
And despite everything, despite all the stupid feelings clawing around inside his chest lately, his gaze softened automatically. Because there you were.
Hair messy.
Half dressed.
Looking at him like he hung the stars.
The exact same way you always had.
The realization made guilt settle heavily in his stomach again. Because if you still looked at him like that...
Why couldn't he stop feeling so insecure?
♡
The breaking point came quietly. Like most things with Juhoon.
Not dramatically…or all at once. Just one small moment too many.
It happened on a Sunday afternoon. Rain tapped softly against the apartment windows while the two of you lounged around doing absolutely nothing. One of those rare schedule-free days.
You sat curled beside him on the couch scrolling through your phone while your legs rested across his lap.
Comfortable, lazy, and peaceful.
Then your screen lit up.
A message.
Your face immediately brightened.
Juhoon's stomach dropped before he even knew why.
"Soobin sent me pictures."
"Hm."
You laughed softly.
"Oh my gosh."
"What?"
"He found that giant capybara café."
Another laugh.
Then another.
And another.
Your attention remained completely glued to the phone.
Five minutes passed.
Then ten.
Then fifteen.
At some point, Juhoon's hand had stopped absentmindedly resting against your ankle.
You didn't notice.
At some point, he'd stopped listening to the television entirely.
You didn't notice that either. Because you were still smiling down at the screen.
Still typing.
Still laughing.
And suddenly something painful twisted deep inside his chest.
Not jealousy…not really. Something lonelier.
Something sadder.
Like he was sitting directly beside you and somehow still couldn't reach you.
The feeling lingered long after the conversation ended. Long after your phone got tossed aside. Long after your head found his shoulder again.
Because now he couldn't stop hearing a thought that made him feel sick.
Why does talking to him seem easier than talking to me?
And for the first time, Juhoon didn't know how to make the feeling go away.
♡
The thing was… Juhoon wasn't imagining it.
At first he'd genuinely tried to convince himself he was.
…Because Soobin was nice. Ridiculously nice, actually. The kind of person who remembered everyone's coffee orders after hearing them once…and the kind of person who held doors open without thinking and somehow always ended up carrying three people's bags despite nobody asking him to.
Which meant every interaction felt impossible to be annoyed about.
Because what was Juhoon supposed to say?
"Stop being kind to my girlfriend?"
That sounded insane.
So instead he kept it to himself.
And kept it to himself.
And kept it to himself.
Until it started becoming impossible to ignore.
♡
A week later, practice had ended late.
Everyone was exhausted. The studio lights felt too bright after six straight hours of rehearsal while half-finished water bottles and abandoned hoodies littered every available surface.
Martin was lying face-down on the floor, James was attempting to convince everyone he could survive solely on protein bars, and Keonho was threatening violence.
Normal things.
You were sitting cross-legged against the mirrored wall scrolling through your phone while waiting for everyone to finish packing up.
And beside you, Soobin.
Again. He came in to visit and brought that said pack of protein bars.
Juhoon's eyes drifted toward the two of you automatically.
You were laughing.
Not dramatically.
Just smiling, head tilted slightly.
Shoulders shaking once.
Then twice.
Soobin said something else.
You immediately covered your face.
"Oh my gosh, stop."
He looked far too pleased with himself.
"No, because you should've seen it."
"You're exaggerating."
"I'm literally not."
"You are."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm not."
You pointed at him.
"There."
"That wasn't proof."
"It was proof."
Juhoon looked away immediately before anyone noticed. Before anyone could see the ugly feeling settling somewhere deep inside his chest.
Because it wasn't just this.
It was everything. The accumulated weight of hundreds of little moments.
Soobin texting you memes, Soobin sending you photos from schedules, Soobin asking your opinion on things, Soobin sitting beside you at award shows, Soobin showing up at the studio.
Soobin.
Soobin.
Soobin.
And every time Juhoon told himself he was being stupid. Because nothing inappropriate was happening.
Nothing.
You weren't flirting, and neither was Soobin.
You still kissed Juhoon every morning, still stole his hoodies, still crawled into his lap during movie nights, still reached for his hand automatically.
But somehow, it still hurt. And Juhoon hated that.
Because it felt childish.
Insecure.
Embarrassing.
"Juhoon."
His head lifted.
You were smiling at him immediately. The second you smiled, his chest squeezed.
Every single time.
"Yeah?"
You held up your phone.
"Look."
He walked over automatically, and you shifted closer to make room beside you.
And for a second the horrible feeling eased.
Because this was familiar.
This was yours.
You.
Beside him.
Your shoulder touching his, the scent of your shampoo, the warmth of your arm. His.
Then Soobin leaned over too.
Looking at the phone.
Close enough that his shoulder bumped yours.
And suddenly Juhoon felt ridiculous all over again.
"What am I looking at?" he asked quietly.
You grinned.
"The comments."
Juhoon glanced down, then immediately regretted it. Because apparently someone had uploaded a behind-the-scenes clip from an interview earlier…and the comments were full of people losing their minds.
"Soobin and Y/N are actually siblings."
"Their energy is identical."
"I need them on a variety show together."
"Best friendship ever."
"Juhoon third wheeling again 😭"
That one.
That one hurt.
His stomach dropped.
You laughed.
"Oh my gosh I do not want you as my brother."
Soobin laughed too.
"Not the third wheel allegations."
Martin looked up from the floor.
"Those have been happening for weeks."
"Martin."
"What?"
"You are not helping."
"I'm just saying."
Juhoon smiled. A small one. Convincing enough apparently because nobody noticed.
Not even you.
But the comment sat in his chest for the rest of the night.
Juhoon third wheeling again.
Stupid. So unbelievably stupid.
And yet, by the time everyone headed home later that evening, he couldn't stop thinking about it.
♡
The apartment was quiet. Comfortably quiet. The quiet that usually helped after a long day.
Usually.
You were brushing your teeth, and Juhoon was changing into sweatpants.
Normal, ordinary…domestic. Everything he loved.
When you finally emerged from the bathroom, Baymax was already sitting on the bed. The tiny plush slightly squished from years of affection.
Its little white body looked ridiculous next to the black bedding.
You smiled immediately.
"There he is."
The Baymax plush had become something of a mascot at this point.
The two of you had won it together years ago at Tokyo Disney after an embarrassingly intense carnival game battle. Since then it had survived tours, moves, schedules, arguments. Everything.
You picked him up, poked his head, then crawled beneath the blankets.
"Come here."
Juhoon followed a moment later, sliding into bed beside you.
Normally this was the part where you immediately attached yourself to him. Like a koala. Every night without fail.
And tonight was no different. You rolled closer automatically, arms wrapping around his waist, and your face pressing lightly against his shoulder.
"Hi."
A tiny smile tugged at his mouth.
"Hi."
Then silence. Comfortable. Warm.
Except tonight, Juhoon couldn't stop thinking.
Couldn't stop comparing.
Couldn't stop replaying things.
Couldn't stop wondering.
Did you laugh harder with Soobin now?
Did you text him more?
Were you happier around him?
The thoughts were awful and irrational.
…And he knew that.
But they stayed anyway.
Your fingers lightly hooked into his shirt.
Waiting, without realizing it.
Usually, Juhoon would pull you closer. Wrap an arm around you, press a kiss into your hair, something. Always something.
Tonight he just...stayed still.
Not intentionally, or to punish you, or because he was angry.
But because suddenly every movement felt strange. Like he wasn't sure if he deserved them anymore.
You noticed almost immediately.
Your brows furrowed slightly against his shoulder.
"...you okay?"
Juhoon's eyes closed immediately.
Because there it was.
The question he'd been avoiding.
And he wasn't ready. Not yet.
So quietly, very quietly, he answered,
"Yeah."
You didn't look convinced. Not even a little.
And unfortunately for Juhoon, you knew him far too well.
♡
The next few days passed strangely.
Not bad, or enough for anyone else to notice. Just...
Different.
Because Juhoon really was trying. That was the frustrating part.
He wasn't trying to be distant, wasn't trying to punish you, wasn't trying to make some dramatic statement.
He just couldn't seem to stop retreating into himself.
Every time the ugly feeling surfaced, he swallowed it.
Every time jealousy twisted somewhere in his chest, he buried it.
Every time he wanted to ask,
"Do you even notice?"
he forced himself not to.
Because the question sounded ridiculous.
So instead he got quieter.
And unfortunately...quiet was where Juhoon lived best.
Which made it difficult to spot at first.
Until eventually you started noticing the little things.
Like how he stopped reaching for your hand first. Not completely, no. Just...less.
How his responses got shorter.
How he'd smile when you spoke but somehow still seem miles away.
How he kept staring at nothing whenever he thought nobody was looking.
And most importantly, how he stopped responding the way he normally did when you initiated affection.
That one hurt. Because affection had always worked a little differently between the two of you.
You were sunshine. Movement. Warmth.
Juhoon was quieter. Softer. Less obvious.
So naturally you were usually the one throwing yourself at him. Wrapping around his shoulders, kissing his cheek, stealing hugs, curling into his lap.
And Juhoon always responded. Always.
Maybe not dramatically, but he responded.
A hand on your waist, a kiss to your temple, his fingers in your hair, pulling you closer.
Little things.
Important things.
Which was why the change became impossible to ignore. Because now...you were the only one moving.
♡
The realization hit hardest one evening after practice.
Everyone had finally escaped the studio, the sun had already disappeared outside, and the city glittered through the windows.
You were exhausted. The good kind actually.
The kind that came after a really productive day.
Juhoon sat beside you on the couch in the shared dorm lounge while everyone else wandered around doing their own thing.
Martin was arguing with James about ramen and Keonho was trying to steal snacks. Normal chaos.
You smiled softly and leaned against Juhoon's shoulder. Then, you wrapped your arms around his waist.
Usually, without even thinking, his arm would've immediately settled around you.
Tonight...nothing happened.
Not rejection. Just...nothing.
Your smile faded slightly. Maybe he didn't notice? So you squeezed him gently.
Still nothing.
A tiny ache settled in your chest.
Across the room Martin paused mid-conversation.
His eyes flicked over.
Then immediately away again.
Because even he noticed.
You slowly released Juhoon, trying not to think about it.
Maybe he was tired? Maybe that was all.
Except, this kept happening.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Until eventually it stopped feeling accidental, and started feeling personal.
The breaking point arrived five nights later.
You were home, finally.
No schedules, no rehearsals, and no cameras.
Just the apartment.
Rain tapped softly against the windows again as the television played quietly in the background.
Juhoon sat at the kitchen island scrolling through something on his phone as you stood nearby making tea…and for almost ten minutes you found yourself watching him.
Waiting. For something. Anything.
A smile.
A glance.
A touch.
Nothing came.
Your chest tightened…because you missed him. And the stupid thing was, he was sitting right there. Five feet away. Yet somehow he felt farther than ever.
The kettle clicked off.
You set down two mugs, walked over, and then carefully placed one beside him.
Juhoon looked up immediately.
"Thanks."
That was it. Just thanks.
Something finally snapped. Not dramatically.
Just enough.
"Okay."
Juhoon blinked.
"What?"
You folded your arms.
"What is going on with you?"
Immediately, his stomach dropped. Because he'd known this conversation was coming eventually.
He just hadn't been ready for it.
"...nothing."
Your eyebrows rose.
Nothing.
Of course.
Always nothing.
"Juhoon."
"I'm fine."
"You're not."
He looked away…which unfortunately only proved your point. The frustration building inside you for nearly two weeks finally started spilling over.
"Can you stop saying that?"
His jaw tightened.
"Saying what?"
"'I'm fine.'"
Silence.
"Because you're obviously not."
Juhoon stared at the countertop…and you hated that.
Hated that he wouldn't look at you.
Hated that every difficult conversation felt like dragging words out of someone determined to keep them buried.
"Talk to me."
"I'm trying."
"No you're not."
The response came too quickly. Too honestly.
Juhoon's expression shifted immediately.
There.
A tiny crack.
"You think I'm not trying?"
"I think you've been shutting me out for weeks."
His chest tightened.
Weeks.
So you noticed. Of course you noticed. You always noticed.
"Juhoon."
Your voice softened slightly.
"What happened?"
For one horrible second, he almost told you.
Almost.
The jealousy, the insecurity, the fear. All of it.
But then embarrassment surged up again.
Because how was he supposed to explain this?
"I'm jealous of my friend because you laugh with him."
It sounded insanely pathetic. So instead, he shook his head.
"Nothing happened."
Your patience finally started wearing thin.
"Then why won't you hold me anymore?"
The question landed like a grenade.
Juhoon's head snapped up. Your eyes were already shining slightly.
Not crying. Not yet.
Just hurt.
And somehow, that hurt worse.
Because suddenly he realized this wasn't just affecting him.
It was affecting you too.
But instead of making him speak, it made him retreat further.
"...that's not true."
"It is."
"It isn't."
You laughed softly.
Not happy. The kind of laugh people make when they're trying not to cry.
"Juhoon."
Your voice cracked slightly.
"You barely hug me back anymore."
His chest physically hurt…because he knew.
He knew.
And still, he couldn't explain why.
The silence stretched. Long enough that your expression slowly changed. From confusion…to realization…and then to
something else.
Something that made Juhoon's stomach sink.
"...is it me?"
Immediately, his head lifted.
"What?"
"Did I do something?"
"No."
The answer came instantly. Too instantly.
Because despite everything, that wasn't true.
You hadn't done anything. Not really.
And yet...the conversation was finally moving toward the thing he'd been trying to avoid.
Toward Soobin. Toward the jealousy. Toward the ugly feelings he'd been carrying alone.
And unfortunately…once the door cracked open, it was becoming harder and harder to keep it closed.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
A/N: So…I need to split the story up now because I’ve reached my spacing limit. 🙁 BUT! Part two will be out like right after I post this so no need to wait!! STAY TUNED!
Hey yall! I’d like to say that this creator right here actively uses AI or ChatGPT to write their work. And you know, using AI to write your stories is one bad thing but not even admitting it is another. Since another blog replied to my comment and my reply isn’t visible (I won’t blame the creator for deleting it maybe it was a glitch, just to get it straight) and obviously I have proof, as a person who has read hundreds of fics in every platform trust me I KNOW when someone is using ChatGPT it’s literally soooo obvious 😭 idk how people don’t realise that but ok. Just because someone says “oh no I didn’t steal that” while literally holding the stolen thing would you believe them bc they just said it? (Random example) anyway, here’s the proof, I scanned about a quarter or so of this work and it obviously came out with these results:
You can imagine that if I sat and processed all of the fic it the results would be even higher. But quite frankly, by this “paragraph” (let’s call it that even tho ChatGPT can’t form a coherent sentence with more than 200 hundred words) right here, can’t you tell it’s 100% AI? Be fr, and if not, you’re totally getting scammed as you get older by AI scam deals lol.
And honestly?— that’s growth ✨ hahahahahahah
Anywayno2, I have a post on my page on why it’s wrong to use generative AI especially on fields that involve creativity. It’s really an unnecessary parasite to have around and yes it should be called out, and the “writers” if you can even call them that have to be called out all the way too. Take responsibility and act maturely, I can understand that some people want to get involved in stuff whether that’s art, or something related but not everything is for everyone. If you really want to get into your ideas or have a hobby like that you should work hard and as practice comes you naturally get better. No one should rely on easy, brain rotting solutions that are just an illusion of your own creative work (if there is any and it’s not constructed to the bone by AI)
That’s all! My point was proven correct and I hope one day generative AI stops existing to places where it doesn’t belong. (Again you can check out my other posts about this topic) love ❤️
hi! don’t worry—I looked and she didn’t delete your comment, you just can’t see a thread too deep on mobile bc I can’t see my replies to you either 🙂↕️
me being the person who replied to your comments on the post (and pointed out ai detectors are not largely accurate due to bias against neurodivergent writers and writers where English is not their first language) I wanted to do my own homework since you were so convinced you did your research well.
the ONLY one that said “100% ai detected” was the one you looked at and as you can see below in my screenshots—wonton’s work (which was the same 400 word excerpt from the middle of the post in each detector from the post you reblogged versus the 200 hundred you ran)
I’ve been following wonton for awhile now and have enjoyed a lot of her works. she does not know me irl but she has spoken out AGAINST ai use on her profile and also talked about how she’s been practicing her writing a lot more and, if I’m not mistaken, she’s even talked about taking classes to improve her writing. SHE HAS WORKED HARD on her writing and I think it’s shitty if you to slander her
If you’re so protective over creative integrity but actively accusing writers of using ai when they aren’t then you aren’t protecting creative integrity—you’re policing a writing style you don’t enjoy
anyway—HARD AGREE that ai in creative spaces (and most other spaces lbh) is a HUGE fucking problem and if you can’t write without the use of ai then in my opinion you just shouldn’t write—same with drawing, videography, etc. like get ai out of creative spaces PLEASE but at the same time don’t go putting consequences on people that don’t deserve it 😤
Ok girl since you insist AI detectors are unreliable (which by the way in order for most of the results to come back positive you have to copy the text the exact same way WITH the same construction and all spaces etc cuz big paragraphs are not ai’s thing so i guess it messes up the results) but im not gonna give to much gravity on this one since you think it’s not reliable.
So i simply pasted her prompts (pairing, synopsis, genre and warnings) to chat gpt and here are the results (don’t worry about my precious time here either it only took a sec) you don’t have to read it all, you can skim through it but do let me know if you noticed the clear as day pattern between what chatgpt generated for me and her work, her construction, the same words which ok they might be a coincidence (which isn’t) the weird way AI cuts between the scenes in this and surprise surprise her work. Putting some words together to make an acceptable tiny paragraph does not mean it wasn’t written by chatgpt. Jeez open your eyes and see:
# Don’t leave me
Juhoon had never been good with words.
Not when he was tired. Not when he was stressed. Not when he was scared.
Especially not when it came to you.
Everyone else saw him as calm and dependable. The idol who always knew what to say during interviews. The member who kept his composure under pressure.
But honestly? Loving you was different.
Loving you made him afraid.
And fear had a funny way of turning into silence.
---
You sat in the passenger seat of the company van, staring out the window while the city lights blurred past.
Across from you, Soobin chatted comfortably with one of your members.
Juhoon sat beside you.
Silent.
Again.
Your relationship wasn't a secret among your closest friends, but it wasn't public either. Between CORTIS and his schedule, finding time together was already difficult.
And lately?
It felt impossible.
You couldn't remember the last time he'd held your hand without you reaching first.
The last time he'd texted good morning first.
The last time he'd looked at you and smiled the way he used to.
You knew he loved you.
At least you thought you did.
But sometimes his love felt so quiet that it disappeared completely.
---
Later that night, you finally snapped.
The argument started small.
It always did.
"You could've at least told me you were staying late."
Juhoon barely looked up from his phone.
"I was busy."
Your chest tightened.
"You're always busy."
He sighed.
Not loudly.
Not dramatically.
But enough.
Enough for it to hurt.
"What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know, Juhoon."
Your voice cracked.
"Maybe that you miss me."
His jaw tightened.
"I see you all the time."
The words hit like a slap.
You stared at him.
"Do you?"
Silence.
Dangerous silence.
The kind that grows teeth.
"You know what?" you laughed bitterly. "Forget it."
"I'm tired of having the same conversation."
"Then maybe listen for once."
His head snapped up.
"I DO listen."
"No, you don't."
You stood.
"You just shut down every time things get uncomfortable."
"Because every conversation turns into this."
"This?" you repeated.
"Me asking if you still care?"
The room fell still.
Juhoon's face hardened.
And then he said the thing he'd regret for the rest of his life.
"If you're that unhappy, then maybe leave."
The second the words left his mouth, his expression changed.
Instant regret.
Immediate.
Visible.
Horrified.
But it was too late.
Because you froze.
And for the first time in your relationship...
You looked genuinely broken.
"Fine."
Your voice was barely audible.
"Maybe I will."
---
The door slammed.
And suddenly the apartment felt wrong.
Too quiet.
Too empty.
Too cold.
Juhoon stood motionless.
Waiting.
Waiting for you to come back inside.
Waiting for the door to open again.
Waiting for you to text.
Call.
Something.
Anything.
---
One hour.
Nothing.
Two hours.
Nothing.
Three hours.
Nothing.
His calls went unanswered.
His texts remained unread.
The panic started as a small knot in his stomach.
Then it spread.
Into his chest.
His throat.
His lungs.
Breathing became difficult.
His hands shook.
A hundred awful possibilities flooded his mind.
What if you were crying somewhere alone?
What if something happened?
What if you never came back?
What if he really ruined everything?
---
By the fourth hour, he was barely holding himself together.
Soobin found him sitting on the apartment floor.
Still in the exact same spot.
Phone clutched in trembling hands.
"Juhoon?"
No response.
Soobin crouched beside him.
And immediately understood.
His face paled.
"How long has she been gone?"
"Four hours."
His voice broke.
"She won't answer."
The panic finally spilled over.
Juhoon's breathing became uneven.
Fast.
Sharp.
Painful.
"I told her to leave."
Soobin's eyes widened.
"You what?"
"I didn't mean it."
Tears blurred Juhoon's vision.
"I didn't mean it."
"Okay. Okay."
Soobin placed a hand on his shoulder.
"We'll find her."
---
You hadn't gone far.
Just far enough.
A quiet riverside bench hidden away from cameras and schedules and expectations.
You sat there crying until your eyes hurt.
You hated fighting with him.
Hated it.
But what hurt most wasn't the argument.
It was the possibility that maybe you cared more than he did.
Maybe you always had.
Your phone vibrated.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Thirty-seven missed calls.
Most from Juhoon.
A few from Soobin.
Your stomach dropped.
---
When you finally answered, Soobin picked up immediately.
"Oh thank God."
His relief was obvious.
"Where are you?"
You told him.
There was a pause.
Then:
"Stay there."
---
Ten minutes later, a familiar figure appeared.
Running.
Actually running.
Juhoon.
His hair messy.
Eyes red.
Breathing hard.
As if he'd sprinted the entire way.
The second he saw you, he stopped.
And immediately started crying.
---
Your anger vanished.
Instantly.
Because you had never seen him like this.
Not once.
Not ever.
"Juhoon..."
"I'm sorry."
His voice shattered.
"I'm sorry."
He repeated it over and over.
Like he couldn't stop.
Like if he stopped apologizing, you'd disappear.
"I didn't mean it."
He took another step forward.
"I swear I didn't mean it."
Tears streamed down his face.
"You don't understand."
His shoulders trembled.
"The second you left I wanted to take it back."
You felt your own eyes filling again.
"Then why did you say it?"
The question broke him.
Because he didn't have a good answer.
Only the truth.
"I was scared."
His voice cracked.
"I know that sounds stupid."
"It doesn't."
"I thought I was failing you."
His eyes met yours.
"And instead of admitting it, I got defensive."
You stared at him.
Listening.
Really listening.
For once.
"I know I don't say things enough."
He swallowed hard.
"But I love you."
His voice shook violently.
"I love you so much it scares me."
More tears.
More honesty than he'd ever given before.
"Every time I think about losing you, I feel sick."
Your heart clenched.
"And tonight..."
His breathing hitched.
"I thought I'd finally done it."
---
For several seconds, neither of you spoke.
Then you stepped forward.
And wrapped your arms around him.
The sound that left him was somewhere between a sob and a gasp.
His arms immediately tightened around your waist.
Like he was terrified you'd disappear again.
"I'm still angry," you mumbled into his shoulder.
A weak laugh escaped him.
"That's fair."
"And you're an idiot."
"Very fair."
You pulled back enough to look at him.
"But I love you too."
The relief on his face was devastating.
Like someone had finally let him breathe.
---
Later that night, back at the apartment, neither of you wanted to let go.
You sat curled against his chest while his fingers traced circles across your back.
Genre: Angst with happy ending, hurt/comfort, established relationship, soft romance, miscommunication, featured Soobin of TXT
Synopsis: Juhoon has always loved quietly. So quietly, in fact, that sometimes you can’t tell where his affection ends and distance begins. After one devastating argument pushes you out the door for hours, Juhoon is left alone with the horrifying realization that he may have finally broken the one thing he loves most.
Warning(s): Emotional argument, insecurity, jealousy, crying, panic attack, hurtful words, fear of abandonment, heavy emotional themes, LOTS of comfort
Word Count: ~18.9k+
A/N: Hai!! I know I’m writing another Juhoon fic…but I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS MEANT FOR HIM I DON’T KNOWWWW!! I know I haven’t been getting to my requests lately but I might need more time on those so I might just open up my requests again and get to them when I can instead of feeling the need to finish them all at once. I hope you guys really enjoy this one!! 🥰
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
The first time you met Soobin, Juhoon was already regretting it. Not because anything was wrong exactly.
…Actually, that was the problem.
Everything was right immediately.
The backstage waiting room buzzed softly with overlapping conversations, makeup artists moving around hurriedly, half-empty coffee cups abandoned across counters while staff members rushed in and out through the open hallway door.
You sat tucked beside Juhoon on the couch scrolling lazily through your phone while waiting for him to finish discussing some last-minute schedule adjustments with staff.
Your legs rested across his lap absentmindedly. One of his hands stayed loosely around your ankle while listening to the coordinator speaking beside him, thumb brushing occasionally against your skin without him even realizing it.
Comfortable. Automatic. Like it was second nature.
That was how loving Juhoon always felt. Quieter, smaller things.
The coordinator finally left after another minute, and Juhoon exhaled softly before leaning farther back into the couch cushions.
“Tired?” you asked immediately.
His eyes flicked toward you.
“A little.”
Your expression softened instantly. Without hesitation, you shifted closer and pressed a quick kiss against the side of his jaw.
“There. Better.”
The corner of Juhoon’s mouth twitched faintly.
“Magic.”
“Obviously.”
He hummed softly, fingers squeezing your ankle once before his gaze drifted toward the hallway again.
Then suddenly-
“Juhoon-ah!”
A familiar voice echoed from outside the room moments before someone appeared in the doorway. And immediately, the entire atmosphere shifted brighter somehow.
Soobin walked into the waiting room with easy warmth radiating from him, oversized hoodie sleeves pushed halfway over his hands while he smiled the second he spotted Juhoon.
“There you are.”
Juhoon straightened slightly.
“Hey.”
Soobin’s eyes flickered toward you curiously almost immediately.
“Oh?”
You sat up quickly while Juhoon’s hand slid absentmindedly from your ankle to your knee instead.
“This is-”
“My partner,” you finished for him teasingly when he paused too long.
Juhoon glanced at you briefly, the tiniest bit embarrassed already.
Cute.
Soobin immediately broke into a grin.
“Finally! I was starting to think he made you up.”
You laughed instantly.
“Oh my gosh.”
Juhoon sighed quietly beside you.
“You’re dramatic. Do you not watch our promotions.”
“Not often…we just had a huge comeback,” Soobin defended while walking farther into the room. “Besides, every time I asked about dating you acted like I was interrogating you.”
Juhoon looked deeply unamused.
“You were.”
“He’s lying,” Soobin informed you solemnly before extending his hand. “I’m Soobin.”
You shook it warmly.
“I know.”
“Oh no,” Soobin gasped dramatically. “He talks about me?”
“Unfortunately.”
Juhoon physically rolled his eyes this time, but you caught the way his fingers slid lightly against your knee again beneath the conversation.
Still there. Still touching you.
Something soft settled in your chest automatically.
The conversation flowed strangely easily after that. Almost too easily. Soobin had one of those personalities that naturally filled silence without overwhelming it. Sweet without trying too hard. Funny in a soft, effortless way that kept making you laugh before you even realized it.
And honestly?
It felt comfortable immediately.
The three of you stayed in the waiting room talking for almost forty minutes while schedules delayed things repeatedly outside. Mostly you and Soobin talking.
Juhoon noticed that first. Not in a jealous way initially. Just observationally. You asked Soobin questions easily. Reacted quickly to his jokes. Interrupted him halfway through stories because you got excited and already knew what he meant.
And Soobin responded just as naturally.
“WAIT,” you laughed at one point, sitting up straighter. “You were the one who spilled ramen inside your manager’s suitcase?”
Soobin immediately pointed across the room.
“HE TOLD YOU THAT?”
Juhoon looked up from his phone calmly.
“You deserved it.”
“That was private information.”
“You smelled like broth for two days.”
You dissolved into laughter again, leaning sideways automatically until your shoulder bumped against Juhoon’s.
Instinct.
His eyes lifted toward you briefly at the contact. Softening instantly.
There you are.
But then Soobin continued the story animatedly, and your attention drifted back toward him again just as quickly.
Juhoon’s expression remained neutral.
Mostly.
Still, something unfamiliar pressed quietly beneath his ribs while he watched the interaction continue around him.
Not because anything inappropriate was happening. Nothing remotely close.
It was just…
Easy.
You laughed differently around Soobin. Freer somehow. Conversation moved effortlessly between you both while Juhoon found himself mostly listening instead of speaking.
Which normally…wouldn’t bother him. Juhoon had never been the loudest person in a room. He preferred listening. Preferred observing quietly while other people filled space around him.
But sitting there now, watching you beam brightly at another man while talking faster and more openly than you sometimes even talked with him, made something uncomfortable curled slowly inside his chest.
Small, but there.
“So then he tells me-”
Your hand landed briefly against Soobin’s arm while laughing again, and Juhoon’s gaze dropped automatically toward the touch before immediately lifting away.
The feeling worsened.
Not anger.
Something sadder.
By the time Soobin finally got called away by staff nearly twenty minutes later, you were both still smiling.
“I’m stealing you next time too,” Soobin informed you jokingly while backing toward the hallway.
“You absolutely should.”
“Traitor,” Juhoon muttered quietly beside you.
Soobin pointed dramatically.
“See? Possessive.”
Then he disappeared laughing down the hallway before either of you could respond.
Silence settled briefly afterward.
You leaned comfortably against Juhoon’s shoulder again almost immediately.
“That was fun.”
“Mhm.”
You tilted your head slightly.
“You okay?”
Juhoon looked down at you…and there it was again.
That immediate softening. Always immediate with you.
“Yeah.”
Then quietly, after a second-
“You like him.”
The statement sounded neutral enough that you didn’t think twice about it.
“Obviously,” you smiled, nodding your head a bit. “He’s really sweet.”
Juhoon nodded once.
Sweet.
Right.
Your fingers found his free hand automatically, intertwining with his while resting against his lap.
And Juhoon squeezed back instantly.
Automatic. Because no matter what uncomfortable feeling had settled quietly beneath his ribs over the last hour, you were still here. Still reaching for him first. Still choosing him.
So why did he suddenly feel so strangely left behind anyway?
♡
It started small after that. So small neither of you noticed immediately.
The first few times Soobin came around afterward, everything still felt normal.
Comfortable.
The four of you occasionally grabbed food together after schedules, sometimes met backstage during overlapping promotions, and once ended up wandering around a convenience store at nearly midnight because Soobin wanted ice cream and somehow convinced everyone else to come too.
And every single time, you and Soobin clicked together effortlessly.
“Wait no because listen-” you started one evening while sitting across from him in a restaurant booth. “If you had to survive a zombie apocalypse with one Cortis member who would it be?”
Soobin nearly spit out his drink laughing.
“That’s evil.”
“Answer.”
Juhoon sat beside you quietly pulling apart chopsticks and rubbing them together while listening automatically.
Soobin pointed across the table immediately.
“Not James.”
James looked offended.
“I’m intelligent.”
“You’d sacrifice me immediately for survival.”
“Correct.”
You physically folded over laughing.
Juhoon smiled faintly without meaning to.
There it is again. That sound. He loved your laugh. Loved it enough that hearing it usually softened every sharp edge inside him almost instantly.
But lately…lately there had been strange moments where hearing you laugh with someone else only made his chest ache instead.
And he hated himself a little for it.
Because Soobin was genuinely kind. Gentle. Easy to be around. There was nothing to dislike.
…which meant the problem had nowhere to land except back onto himself.
“You know who I’d choose?” you asked suddenly.
Soobin perked up.
“Who?”
You turned immediately toward Juhoon without hesitation.
“Him.”
Juhoon blinked once. Your hand slid absentmindedly onto his thigh beneath the table while smiling softly.
“He’d survive anything.”
Something warm flickered through his chest instantly.
There you are.
Soobin pointed dramatically.
“That’s because you’re in love.”
“I am in love.”
The words came easily. Casually.
Like they always did with you.
Juhoon glanced toward you again quietly, and suddenly guilt hit him hard enough to make his stomach twist.
Because you looked at him so openly. So honestly.
Meanwhile he’d spent the last week silently wondering why talking to someone else seemed easier for you than talking to him sometimes.
The thought made him feel sick immediately.
So instead of sitting farther inside that ugly feeling, Juhoon did what he always did.
Buried it. Deep.
Until even he couldn’t separate insecurity from silence anymore.
♡
The problem was, you noticed changes in Juhoon the way other people noticed weather.
Slowly at first. Then all at once.
It happened one night nearly three weeks later while the two of you were curled together in bed after another long schedule day.
Or…mostly curled together.
Usually, nighttime with Juhoon looked the same. You climbing into his space first, your legs tangled together beneath blankets, face pressed into his chest while his arms automatically wrapped around you afterward. Even if he was tired. Even if he was quiet. He always responded. Always melted eventually.
But tonight, something felt different.
You’d tucked yourself against his side almost ten minutes ago now, one arm draped loosely across his waist while soft rain tapped quietly against the apartment windows, and Juhoon still felt strangely still beside you. Not rejecting you, just…not reaching back.
Your brows furrowed slightly against his shoulder.
“Baby?”
“Hm?”
“You’re quiet.”
A beat of silence.
Then-
“Tired.”
Normally that answer wouldn’t bother you.
Except lately? Lately it was always tired.
Always fine. Always nothing.
You tilted your head slightly to look at him in the dim bedroom light. His eyes stayed fixed upward toward the ceiling, expression unreadable and distant in the dark.
Your chest tightened a little.
“You sure?”
This time his gaze finally shifted toward you.
And immediately softened. Because it always did.
“Mhm.”
But still-
His arm never tightened around you afterward.
And for the first time in months, falling asleep beside Juhoon felt strangely lonely.
♡
The feeling should have disappeared after that night. Honestly, you expected it to.
Everyone had off weeks sometimes. Busy schedules. Exhaustion. Stress. Juhoon had never been overly expressive to begin with…so you tried not to overthink it.
For a few days, you convinced yourself everything was normal.
Then little things started stacking. Tiny things. The kind that looked harmless individually but somehow felt heavier together.
Like the fact that you were almost always the one reaching for his hand first lately.
Or how he still smiled when you kissed him, but rarely leaned down first anymore.
Or how conversations seemed to end quicker than they used to.
Not cold, but shorter. Like Juhoon was always standing one step farther away than before.
♡
“Hold still.”
Juhoon glanced up from the couch.
You stood in front of him holding your arms out dramatically.
He blinked once.
“What?”
“Hold still.”
“…why?”
Instead of answering, you leaned down and pressed a quick kiss directly onto his forehead.
Then another.
Then one on the tip of his nose.
Juhoon physically froze.
You grinned.
“There.”
His ears turned slightly pink immediately.
“Ridiculous.”
“You smiled.”
“No I didn't.”
“You absolutely did.”
The corner of his mouth twitched.
Evidence.
You pointed immediately.
“AHA.”
Juhoon reached out without warning and caught your wrist before you could continue celebrating. Gently, he tugged down, and you stumbled directly into his lap with a startled squeak.
“Juhoon.”
“Quiet.”
Your heart immediately betrayed you.
Because even now, even after weeks of weird distance, moments like this still existed.
His arm rested loosely around your waist while the television played forgotten in the background. Comfortable. Warm.
Normal.
For a second you thought maybe you'd imagined everything.
Then your phone buzzed.
You glanced down.
SOOBEAN 🫘:
“did james actually put hot sauce in his coffee or was that a lie”
You laughed instantly.
“No way.”
Juhoon's gaze dropped automatically.
“What's funny?”
You showed him the message.
“Oh.”
Something flashed briefly across his face.
Gone so quickly you couldn't catch it.
Then he looked away.
“James probably did.”
You typed back immediately.
SOOBEAN 🫘:
“HE DID???”
YOU:
“apparently 😭”
SOOBEAN 🫘:
“that man is terrifying”
You laughed again.
And beside you, Juhoon went quiet.
♡
The problem wasn't Soobin. Juhoon knew that. He knew it every single day.
Which somehow made everything worse…because if there had been something concrete to point at…or something inappropriate…Juhoon could've justified the feeling. Instead he was left sitting alone with an ugly realization.
The problem was himself.
One evening, nearly a month after the first meeting, Juhoon found himself standing in the kitchen pouring water while your voice floated from the living room.
You were on speakerphone.
Laughing.
Again.
"So then he actually did it?" you gasped.
Soobin's voice crackled through the phone.
"I'm serious."
"No he didn't."
"He absolutely did."
Your laughter echoed through the apartment.
Bright, easy…effortless.
Juhoon's grip tightened slightly around the glass in his hand.
The thing was…you laughed with him too.
Every day.
So why did hearing it now feel different?
Why did it sound easier?
Why did it sound like the version of yourself he loved most seemed to come out naturally around somebody else?
The thought made him feel awful immediately…because it wasn't fair.
Not to you.
Not to Soobin.
Not even to himself.
Still, the feeling stayed.
♡
A few nights later, the four of you ended up meeting for dinner after schedules.
It should have been fun.
And honestly?
For everyone else, it was.
You sat across from Soobin sharing fries while arguing about movies, James looked one comment away from starting a fight, and Martin had somehow convinced the waiter to bring extra sauce.
The table buzzed with conversation.
Meanwhile Juhoon mostly listened. Which wasn't unusual.
Except tonight he noticed something.
Every time something funny happened, you looked at Soobin first.
Not intentionally.
Not consciously.
Just naturally.
The realization hit harder than it should have. Because there had been a time when you always looked for him first.
To share reactions. To exchange little glances. To silently communicate entire conversations with one expression.
Now…sometimes you still did. But not always.
And suddenly Juhoon couldn't stop noticing it. Couldn't stop noticing every laugh. Every conversation. Every easy interaction.
The insecurity grew teeth.
♡
"Baby?"
Juhoon looked up.
You stood in the bedroom doorway holding two shirts.
"Red or black?"
"...black."
"Thank you."
You disappeared again.
Three seconds later-
"Actually maybe red."
Juhoon sighed.
"Then wear red."
You immediately reappeared.
"You're so smart."
He snorted softly.
And despite everything, despite all the stupid feelings clawing around inside his chest lately, his gaze softened automatically. Because there you were.
Hair messy.
Half dressed.
Looking at him like he hung the stars.
The exact same way you always had.
The realization made guilt settle heavily in his stomach again. Because if you still looked at him like that...
Why couldn't he stop feeling so insecure?
♡
The breaking point came quietly. Like most things with Juhoon.
Not dramatically…or all at once. Just one small moment too many.
It happened on a Sunday afternoon. Rain tapped softly against the apartment windows while the two of you lounged around doing absolutely nothing. One of those rare schedule-free days.
You sat curled beside him on the couch scrolling through your phone while your legs rested across his lap.
Comfortable, lazy, and peaceful.
Then your screen lit up.
A message.
Your face immediately brightened.
Juhoon's stomach dropped before he even knew why.
"Soobin sent me pictures."
"Hm."
You laughed softly.
"Oh my gosh."
"What?"
"He found that giant capybara café."
Another laugh.
Then another.
And another.
Your attention remained completely glued to the phone.
Five minutes passed.
Then ten.
Then fifteen.
At some point, Juhoon's hand had stopped absentmindedly resting against your ankle.
You didn't notice.
At some point, he'd stopped listening to the television entirely.
You didn't notice that either. Because you were still smiling down at the screen.
Still typing.
Still laughing.
And suddenly something painful twisted deep inside his chest.
Not jealousy…not really. Something lonelier.
Something sadder.
Like he was sitting directly beside you and somehow still couldn't reach you.
The feeling lingered long after the conversation ended. Long after your phone got tossed aside. Long after your head found his shoulder again.
Because now he couldn't stop hearing a thought that made him feel sick.
Why does talking to him seem easier than talking to me?
And for the first time, Juhoon didn't know how to make the feeling go away.
♡
The thing was… Juhoon wasn't imagining it.
At first he'd genuinely tried to convince himself he was.
…Because Soobin was nice. Ridiculously nice, actually. The kind of person who remembered everyone's coffee orders after hearing them once…and the kind of person who held doors open without thinking and somehow always ended up carrying three people's bags despite nobody asking him to.
Which meant every interaction felt impossible to be annoyed about.
Because what was Juhoon supposed to say?
"Stop being kind to my girlfriend?"
That sounded insane.
So instead he kept it to himself.
And kept it to himself.
And kept it to himself.
Until it started becoming impossible to ignore.
♡
A week later, practice had ended late.
Everyone was exhausted. The studio lights felt too bright after six straight hours of rehearsal while half-finished water bottles and abandoned hoodies littered every available surface.
Martin was lying face-down on the floor, James was attempting to convince everyone he could survive solely on protein bars, and Keonho was threatening violence.
Normal things.
You were sitting cross-legged against the mirrored wall scrolling through your phone while waiting for everyone to finish packing up.
And beside you, Soobin.
Again. He came in to visit and brought that said pack of protein bars.
Juhoon's eyes drifted toward the two of you automatically.
You were laughing.
Not dramatically.
Just smiling, head tilted slightly.
Shoulders shaking once.
Then twice.
Soobin said something else.
You immediately covered your face.
"Oh my gosh, stop."
He looked far too pleased with himself.
"No, because you should've seen it."
"You're exaggerating."
"I'm literally not."
"You are."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm not."
You pointed at him.
"There."
"That wasn't proof."
"It was proof."
Juhoon looked away immediately before anyone noticed. Before anyone could see the ugly feeling settling somewhere deep inside his chest.
Because it wasn't just this.
It was everything. The accumulated weight of hundreds of little moments.
Soobin texting you memes, Soobin sending you photos from schedules, Soobin asking your opinion on things, Soobin sitting beside you at award shows, Soobin showing up at the studio.
Soobin.
Soobin.
Soobin.
And every time Juhoon told himself he was being stupid. Because nothing inappropriate was happening.
Nothing.
You weren't flirting, and neither was Soobin.
You still kissed Juhoon every morning, still stole his hoodies, still crawled into his lap during movie nights, still reached for his hand automatically.
But somehow, it still hurt. And Juhoon hated that.
Because it felt childish.
Insecure.
Embarrassing.
"Juhoon."
His head lifted.
You were smiling at him immediately. The second you smiled, his chest squeezed.
Every single time.
"Yeah?"
You held up your phone.
"Look."
He walked over automatically, and you shifted closer to make room beside you.
And for a second the horrible feeling eased.
Because this was familiar.
This was yours.
You.
Beside him.
Your shoulder touching his, the scent of your shampoo, the warmth of your arm. His.
Then Soobin leaned over too.
Looking at the phone.
Close enough that his shoulder bumped yours.
And suddenly Juhoon felt ridiculous all over again.
"What am I looking at?" he asked quietly.
You grinned.
"The comments."
Juhoon glanced down, then immediately regretted it. Because apparently someone had uploaded a behind-the-scenes clip from an interview earlier…and the comments were full of people losing their minds.
"Soobin and Y/N are actually siblings."
"Their energy is identical."
"I need them on a variety show together."
"Best friendship ever."
"Juhoon third wheeling again 😭"
That one.
That one hurt.
His stomach dropped.
You laughed.
"Oh my gosh I do not want you as my brother."
Soobin laughed too.
"Not the third wheel allegations."
Martin looked up from the floor.
"Those have been happening for weeks."
"Martin."
"What?"
"You are not helping."
"I'm just saying."
Juhoon smiled. A small one. Convincing enough apparently because nobody noticed.
Not even you.
But the comment sat in his chest for the rest of the night.
Juhoon third wheeling again.
Stupid. So unbelievably stupid.
And yet, by the time everyone headed home later that evening, he couldn't stop thinking about it.
♡
The apartment was quiet. Comfortably quiet. The quiet that usually helped after a long day.
Usually.
You were brushing your teeth, and Juhoon was changing into sweatpants.
Normal, ordinary…domestic. Everything he loved.
When you finally emerged from the bathroom, Baymax was already sitting on the bed. The tiny plush slightly squished from years of affection.
Its little white body looked ridiculous next to the black bedding.
You smiled immediately.
"There he is."
The Baymax plush had become something of a mascot at this point.
The two of you had won it together years ago at Tokyo Disney after an embarrassingly intense carnival game battle. Since then it had survived tours, moves, schedules, arguments. Everything.
You picked him up, poked his head, then crawled beneath the blankets.
"Come here."
Juhoon followed a moment later, sliding into bed beside you.
Normally this was the part where you immediately attached yourself to him. Like a koala. Every night without fail.
And tonight was no different. You rolled closer automatically, arms wrapping around his waist, and your face pressing lightly against his shoulder.
"Hi."
A tiny smile tugged at his mouth.
"Hi."
Then silence. Comfortable. Warm.
Except tonight, Juhoon couldn't stop thinking.
Couldn't stop comparing.
Couldn't stop replaying things.
Couldn't stop wondering.
Did you laugh harder with Soobin now?
Did you text him more?
Were you happier around him?
The thoughts were awful and irrational.
…And he knew that.
But they stayed anyway.
Your fingers lightly hooked into his shirt.
Waiting, without realizing it.
Usually, Juhoon would pull you closer. Wrap an arm around you, press a kiss into your hair, something. Always something.
Tonight he just...stayed still.
Not intentionally, or to punish you, or because he was angry.
But because suddenly every movement felt strange. Like he wasn't sure if he deserved them anymore.
You noticed almost immediately.
Your brows furrowed slightly against his shoulder.
"...you okay?"
Juhoon's eyes closed immediately.
Because there it was.
The question he'd been avoiding.
And he wasn't ready. Not yet.
So quietly, very quietly, he answered,
"Yeah."
You didn't look convinced. Not even a little.
And unfortunately for Juhoon, you knew him far too well.
♡
The next few days passed strangely.
Not bad, or enough for anyone else to notice. Just...
Different.
Because Juhoon really was trying. That was the frustrating part.
He wasn't trying to be distant, wasn't trying to punish you, wasn't trying to make some dramatic statement.
He just couldn't seem to stop retreating into himself.
Every time the ugly feeling surfaced, he swallowed it.
Every time jealousy twisted somewhere in his chest, he buried it.
Every time he wanted to ask,
"Do you even notice?"
he forced himself not to.
Because the question sounded ridiculous.
So instead he got quieter.
And unfortunately...quiet was where Juhoon lived best.
Which made it difficult to spot at first.
Until eventually you started noticing the little things.
Like how he stopped reaching for your hand first. Not completely, no. Just...less.
How his responses got shorter.
How he'd smile when you spoke but somehow still seem miles away.
How he kept staring at nothing whenever he thought nobody was looking.
And most importantly, how he stopped responding the way he normally did when you initiated affection.
That one hurt. Because affection had always worked a little differently between the two of you.
You were sunshine. Movement. Warmth.
Juhoon was quieter. Softer. Less obvious.
So naturally you were usually the one throwing yourself at him. Wrapping around his shoulders, kissing his cheek, stealing hugs, curling into his lap.
And Juhoon always responded. Always.
Maybe not dramatically, but he responded.
A hand on your waist, a kiss to your temple, his fingers in your hair, pulling you closer.
Little things.
Important things.
Which was why the change became impossible to ignore. Because now...you were the only one moving.
♡
The realization hit hardest one evening after practice.
Everyone had finally escaped the studio, the sun had already disappeared outside, and the city glittered through the windows.
You were exhausted. The good kind actually.
The kind that came after a really productive day.
Juhoon sat beside you on the couch in the shared dorm lounge while everyone else wandered around doing their own thing.
Martin was arguing with James about ramen and Keonho was trying to steal snacks. Normal chaos.
You smiled softly and leaned against Juhoon's shoulder. Then, you wrapped your arms around his waist.
Usually, without even thinking, his arm would've immediately settled around you.
Tonight...nothing happened.
Not rejection. Just...nothing.
Your smile faded slightly. Maybe he didn't notice? So you squeezed him gently.
Still nothing.
A tiny ache settled in your chest.
Across the room Martin paused mid-conversation.
His eyes flicked over.
Then immediately away again.
Because even he noticed.
You slowly released Juhoon, trying not to think about it.
Maybe he was tired? Maybe that was all.
Except, this kept happening.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Until eventually it stopped feeling accidental, and started feeling personal.
The breaking point arrived five nights later.
You were home, finally.
No schedules, no rehearsals, and no cameras.
Just the apartment.
Rain tapped softly against the windows again as the television played quietly in the background.
Juhoon sat at the kitchen island scrolling through something on his phone as you stood nearby making tea…and for almost ten minutes you found yourself watching him.
Waiting. For something. Anything.
A smile.
A glance.
A touch.
Nothing came.
Your chest tightened…because you missed him. And the stupid thing was, he was sitting right there. Five feet away. Yet somehow he felt farther than ever.
The kettle clicked off.
You set down two mugs, walked over, and then carefully placed one beside him.
Juhoon looked up immediately.
"Thanks."
That was it. Just thanks.
Something finally snapped. Not dramatically.
Just enough.
"Okay."
Juhoon blinked.
"What?"
You folded your arms.
"What is going on with you?"
Immediately, his stomach dropped. Because he'd known this conversation was coming eventually.
He just hadn't been ready for it.
"...nothing."
Your eyebrows rose.
Nothing.
Of course.
Always nothing.
"Juhoon."
"I'm fine."
"You're not."
He looked away…which unfortunately only proved your point. The frustration building inside you for nearly two weeks finally started spilling over.
"Can you stop saying that?"
His jaw tightened.
"Saying what?"
"'I'm fine.'"
Silence.
"Because you're obviously not."
Juhoon stared at the countertop…and you hated that.
Hated that he wouldn't look at you.
Hated that every difficult conversation felt like dragging words out of someone determined to keep them buried.
"Talk to me."
"I'm trying."
"No you're not."
The response came too quickly. Too honestly.
Juhoon's expression shifted immediately.
There.
A tiny crack.
"You think I'm not trying?"
"I think you've been shutting me out for weeks."
His chest tightened.
Weeks.
So you noticed. Of course you noticed. You always noticed.
"Juhoon."
Your voice softened slightly.
"What happened?"
For one horrible second, he almost told you.
Almost.
The jealousy, the insecurity, the fear. All of it.
But then embarrassment surged up again.
Because how was he supposed to explain this?
"I'm jealous of my friend because you laugh with him."
It sounded insanely pathetic. So instead, he shook his head.
"Nothing happened."
Your patience finally started wearing thin.
"Then why won't you hold me anymore?"
The question landed like a grenade.
Juhoon's head snapped up. Your eyes were already shining slightly.
Not crying. Not yet.
Just hurt.
And somehow, that hurt worse.
Because suddenly he realized this wasn't just affecting him.
It was affecting you too.
But instead of making him speak, it made him retreat further.
"...that's not true."
"It is."
"It isn't."
You laughed softly.
Not happy. The kind of laugh people make when they're trying not to cry.
"Juhoon."
Your voice cracked slightly.
"You barely hug me back anymore."
His chest physically hurt…because he knew.
He knew.
And still, he couldn't explain why.
The silence stretched. Long enough that your expression slowly changed. From confusion…to realization…and then to
something else.
Something that made Juhoon's stomach sink.
"...is it me?"
Immediately, his head lifted.
"What?"
"Did I do something?"
"No."
The answer came instantly. Too instantly.
Because despite everything, that wasn't true.
You hadn't done anything. Not really.
And yet...the conversation was finally moving toward the thing he'd been trying to avoid.
Toward Soobin. Toward the jealousy. Toward the ugly feelings he'd been carrying alone.
And unfortunately…once the door cracked open, it was becoming harder and harder to keep it closed.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
A/N: So…I need to split the story up now because I’ve reached my spacing limit. 🙁 BUT! Part two will be out like right after I post this so no need to wait!! STAY TUNED!
Hey yall! I’d like to say that this creator right here actively uses AI or ChatGPT to write their work. And you know, using AI to write your stories is one bad thing but not even admitting it is another. Since another blog replied to my comment and my reply isn’t visible (I won’t blame the creator for deleting it maybe it was a glitch, just to get it straight) and obviously I have proof, as a person who has read hundreds of fics in every platform trust me I KNOW when someone is using ChatGPT it’s literally soooo obvious 😭 idk how people don’t realise that but ok. Just because someone says “oh no I didn’t steal that” while literally holding the stolen thing would you believe them bc they just said it? (Random example) anyway, here’s the proof, I scanned about a quarter or so of this work and it obviously came out with these results:
You can imagine that if I sat and processed all of the fic it the results would be even higher. But quite frankly, by this “paragraph” (let’s call it that even tho ChatGPT can’t form a coherent sentence with more than 200 hundred words) right here, can’t you tell it’s 100% AI? Be fr, and if not, you’re totally getting scammed as you get older by AI scam deals lol.
And honestly?— that’s growth ✨ hahahahahahah
Anywayno2, I have a post on my page on why it’s wrong to use generative AI especially on fields that involve creativity. It’s really an unnecessary parasite to have around and yes it should be called out, and the “writers” if you can even call them that have to be called out all the way too. Take responsibility and act maturely, I can understand that some people want to get involved in stuff whether that’s art, or something related but not everything is for everyone. If you really want to get into your ideas or have a hobby like that you should work hard and as practice comes you naturally get better. No one should rely on easy, brain rotting solutions that are just an illusion of your own creative work (if there is any and it’s not constructed to the bone by AI)
That’s all! My point was proven correct and I hope one day generative AI stops existing to places where it doesn’t belong. (Again you can check out my other posts about this topic) love ❤️
Hii. Sorry to bother. I've come from your post pertaining to the use of chatgpt/ai in writing!
Thank you for talking about it! I actually wanted to ask a question bcs im genuinely afraid, rather, I'm worried bcs i have used chatgpt (secondary to Google) for information or clarity on things I don't understand. I do, of course, try not to feed it details or actual writing! Most of the time its general entries such as "difference between defect and rogue" or "are there websites where i can find this or that..." or if im struggling to remember a particular word, I'd give the characteristics so it can be narrowed down.
I do my best to research everything myself via articles, social media posts, YouTube etc. But in a writers field, there's so much unexplored territory and I'm sure at times we're all desperately looking to clue up & bring our characters/their lives & situations to life. I do understand that resorting to ai will never be the answer! But it's there as tool. If one is putting in the effort before resorting to ai as I've mentioned before, would it be okay?
Id love to hear your take on this!
(If you advise against even that kind of usage then I'll stop the use altogether)❤️
Hi! Thank you for your kind question. My take on ai writing was pretty simple on where I stand on the writing community. Now your question is very important because unfortunately as much as anyone doesn’t want to admit it AI has become a part of our lives. We use it for pretty much everything, for information, ideas, news, dumb-stuff, work, school and the list goes on… Ai/Chatgpt can be and is a very useful tool. Personally I’m not against using it for simple tasks but I draw the line where Ai/ChatGPT literally interferes with human arts, such as writing, painting, photography, animations, acting etc things that are meant quite obviously for real people. With real emotions, real critical thinking, real life, real imagination, real opinions and again the list goes on. As a world we have proved that we do not know of limits and do not know how to separate what’s helpful and what’s stupidly unnecessary.
And it’s very serious because you can ask anybody, and they will not remember life without Ai/chatgpt because it’s so deeply engraved in our lives since it came out. Everyone has used Ai, me, you, everyone. What’s necessary is to know how to place limits on how we use it.
People have lost creativity, have lost patience, have forgotten how to imagine, create and put real effort to something because of Ai. Yet, we should ask if it’s really AI’s fault or ours and that leads back to my previous point.
I cannot tell you what to use or not and where to get your access to your information because like I said Ai can be helpful sometimes and depending on how you use it. What you can do is try to not get yourself deeply attached and immersed in it and know how to stop, not to lose yourself or your mind to the point of brain-rot.
Again, I loved your question and hope that my take helped you even a little ❤️🖤
It honestly breaks my heart to see what’s been happening to fanfiction spaces lately.
I’ve been on Tumblr for around 6 years, Wattpad for 7 as well as other platforms and I’ve been through pretty much every corner of fandoms you can imagine. I’ve written my own stories and I’ve read hundreds (probably thousands) of fics across different universes. Fanfiction used to feel like this messy human thing. Even when a story wasn’t perfect at least it had actual effort. That’s what made it special.
Now A lot of what I come across lately just doesn’t feel human anymore. The structure is the same, the phrasing is the same, the pacing is so similar and that translates automatically to empty. You start reading and within a few lines, you can already tell. It’s written by ai/chatgpt…….. and TRUST me when i say it’s painfully obvious guys. So much so that you can ready one or two paragraphs and immediately tell, so when ai writing is clearly there I quickly unlike and scroll. ALL the fics that I find since 2024 MAYBE 2023 (I really don’t remember when this whole chatgpt writing ordeal started) are the same lame ass generic constructions that makes you roll your eyes.
And I think that’s what bothers me the most is not even about “good” or “bad” writing anymore. I would gladly read something imperfect if it meant that a real person sat there and created it. Those stories have actual meaning. They reflect someone trying and putting real effort and thinking there. That’s what fanfiction has always been about.
What’s hard now is feeling like that’s getting drowned out.
And I want to be clear this isn’t aimed at everyone. I’m sure there are still writers out there who genuinely care, who put effort into their work, who are still creating with their own thinking. You can feel it when you read their stuff, and it’s honestly refreshing every time. Those people are the reason I haven’t completely given up on these spaces.
But it’s getting tiring. It very much is.
I’ve noticed myself going online less because of it, which sucks because reading used to be my favorite part of the day. It was something I looked forward to getting lost in someone else’s imagination. Now, most of the time I click on something and immediately lose interest because it feels so artificial and fake like I said.
And that makes me sad in a way I didn’t expect. Fanfiction was never supposed to be perfect, it was never supposed to be soulless and the exact same generic stuff. I just miss that feeling when I read something and knew with ease that there’s a person behind it and not a stupid chatbot.
