Lemon

Call me Jack because I have all the trades just very badly COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!! artist, animator, youtuber

[beeominous]

˚⊱🪷⊰˚Intro post˚⊱🪷⊰˚

⊹ ࣪ ˖Howdy hey, I'm bee! Previously known as nugget-glitch. Deleted my previous account after some issues with my mom but I'm sooo back baby!

°❀.ೃ࿔*Birthday is July 10*.ೃ࿔.❀°

My commissions are open! Here is my post for that if you're interested:3

Post by @beeominous · 10 images

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 0 · Commissions page₊˚ʚ 🌱 ₊˚✧ ﾟ. · I want to be able to help my mom pay for bills and invest in my own things like a car withou

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆Hyperfixations: The walking dead, crk, Dan da dan, the hunger games, the maze runner, Pokemon, red dead redemption, TMNT, alpha drive one, death note, forsaken

.🌸˚𑁍.ೃ࿔*:･Daryl Dixon, Arthur morgan, and Simon Riley are my pookies･:*.ೃ࿔𑁍˚🌸.

. ݁₊⊹. ݁˖. ݁🐸Favorite movies: a whisker away, words bubble up like soda pop, to all the boys I've loved before, leap!, rottmnt: the movie, over the moon, 10 things I hate about you, legally blonde

𓈒⟡₊⋆∘˚⊹ ࿔🍮Music: laufey, mitski, ALD1, ghost9, enhyphen, BTS, Katseye, Conan gray, lace, beabadoobee, EXO, WALLOWS, Selena, TxT, true blood, Jorge Rivera herrans, Rihanna, Olivia Rodrigo, Britney spears, Arctic monkeys, Bruno Mars, cas, Billie eillish

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐My peakalicious stories: Forsaken Dawn (MY PASSION PROJECT), A Canary's Lament (my second passion project and my hunger games fan story), Fractured Memories (a side story that I work on for funsies when I get on a creative rut)

[beeominous]

WRAP ME IN PLASTIC WAS KPOP?!?

[beeominous]

The phantom of the opera doodles I did during camp. I really got into it and uh it’s my favorite musical now

[zorymochuu]

Too bright

[beeominous]

I went to church camp and while I had a good time with the preachings and I had a good encounter with God, I didn’t have a good time with people.

I’m disappointed with myself because I have a friend from one of the church’s that always goes. Like it’s the same church we see all the time along with other church’s bcuz we’re all like close? Idk. So this church is in the state over from my state and also the state we had church camp in. That friend is nicknamed Panda Express (bcuz he’s kinda big, but it’s like just Mexican things ig. He told out friend group to call him that I promise I’m not fat shaming) and we’ll address him like that for privacy reasons.

So me and panda were rlly great friends like three or four years ago and like we js got along great. He’s just a great guy to be around. Well I saw him again at camp after not seeing him in around two years and not talking to him for the same amount of time bcuz he’s 1) in a state over, 2) because I lost his number after I switched phones, and 3) bcuz my toxic ex got rlly jealous when I’d talk to other guys like a crazy amount of jealous even tho panda is like a couple years older than me. I’m pretty sure he’s already graduated rn. Like I mean ig you’re partner would get jealous if your talking to other guys, but like he always made me feel worse about it. He’d always put me down, even when I dropped almost all my friendships for him. Friendships I can’t get back bcuz of him even now that we’ve broken up.

Anyways, I saw him at camp and I legit don’t know what happened to me. All my social skills are gone. I lost all my form of communication. Talking makes me sound like a 5 year old with how utterly dumb I sound and how much worse my stuttering and stumbling has gotten. Like even listening to myself talk is hard because I’m like dang i sound so dumb I need to stop talking. I’ve already talked about this to a friend, but I feel like writing this in my online diary bcuz again, my phone is out of storage to write in my journal or notes app.

I wanted to say hi to him or anything, but I was so scared and just terrified that he wouldn’t recognize me bcuz I change every year and sometimes ppl have a hard time recognizing me. Or that he just wouldn’t remember me if it told him my actual name or if I should’ve introduced myself with the nickname given to me by the friend group we had (which was zuzu) or if he’d even remember at all. I was just so terrified that if he didn’t remember me I would’ve made a fool out of myself and made things awkward. Like I had so many chances I could’ve came up to him and said hi or something . THERE WAS A POINT WHERE WE WERE FACE TO FACE BCUZ WE WERE IN THE SALAD LINE TOGETHER GETTING SALAD AND I COULDNT SAY ANYTHING. I COULDNT SAY “hey (name)!” I COULDNT EVEN MUSTER THE COURAGE TO LOOK AT HIM.

It doesn’t help the fact that I was jumping from group to group with the girls from my youth because I just didn’t wanna be alone. Even if that meant following behind them like a lost puppy. Like I don’t talk as much anymore, I’m not as outgoing and I genuinely don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Like there was a girl who had a bag decked out with miku things and I love miku so much. It took me an entire day to muster up the courage to even say a simple “hey I rlly like ur keychains!”. A whole fricking day.

When I was telling my friend about all this, I mentioned how maybe my social skills started going down while I was with my ex. Cos there was this one time we went to a youth rally and my ex came bcuz we were still together at the time. When we went, I ended up making a friend from a church im very familiar with bcuz I got along rlly well with the pastors sons from that church. Like one of the pastors sons from that church that was around my age wasn’t there bcuz he was on a missions thing, but the older son that was in his twenties? Was there so I got to reconnect with him and just catch up bcuz we got along so well. Well my ex got jealous about it and was like “am I js not enough for you? Like what does he have that I don’t. I never make you laugh the way he made you laugh.” And he thought me and the other guy had smth going on when I was 14, he was in his early twenties AND had a girlfriend. So I just started pushing people away bcuz of him so I wouldn’t upset him. So the next youth rally we had, my ex didn’t go but my friends from that other church were there. All three of them were. And one of the pastors daughters from my church mentioned “hey aren’t those your friends? You should go talk to them.” Bcuz I was with her the entire time being silent bcuz I didn’t have any friends instead of trying to make friends and be with ppl my age. And I ended up making some lame excuse like “yeah but they seem busy with eachother. I don’t wanna bother” because my ex just made me feel so bad about my friendships and stuff that I just started isolating myself from others.

When I was telling my friend all this she mentioned how at the end of the school year that just passed, that I seemed like I wanted to isolate myself so bad that now when I’m going back to try and talk to people and being social it’s uncomfortable. And I told her that she’s right. I was tryna isolate myself because I was just so tired of repeating the same cycle of having to leave people bcuz of my parents or leaving ppl bcuz my ex forced me to/make me feel obligated to or ppl leaving me that made me think what’s the point? It’s better to be alone. I can’t get hurt if I’m alone in my own little bubble. And I felt like I’ve just been slowly going into my bubble where no one can touch me or bother me.

But now I wanted nothing more than to get out of the bubble and talk to panda bcuz I knew that if I didn’t fit in with the girls from my youth group, I’d atleast have him and I wouldn’t feel lonely. Bcuz ig technically I wasn’t alone since I was forcing myself into groups that didn’t even want me around, but I was still lonely. And I couldn’t even muster up the courage to say something as simple as “hi”. Like all I did this week was sleep during free time instead of going and doing something bcuz it was hot, we barely got any sleep bcuz of the schedule, and bcuz what was the point if I didn’t have anyone? Like what would’ve been the point just wandering around the camp in hot weather for no reason other than to wander around like a stray dog? If I would’ve taken initiative to atleast say something, ik going out to sweat in the 100 degree weather would’ve been worth it to hang out with him so I wouldn’t have been lonely.

But I didn’t.

[beeominous]

Always the artist never the muse

[beeominous]

Always the artist never the muse

[beeominous]

The movie “10 things I hate about you” changed my life so here’s my slightly edited version of kat’s poem because it’s my favorite thing rn.

I hate the way you talk to me

I hate the way you cut your hair

I hate the way you drive me nuts

I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb ego

And the way you read my mind

I hate you so much it makes me sick

I make sure to tell you all the time

I hate the way you’re always right

I hate it when you lie

I hate it when you make me laugh

Even worse when you make me cry

I hate it when you’re not around

And the fact that you barely call

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you

Not even close

Not even a little bit

Not even at all

[beeominous]

I have an ahoge like in the animes but it’s just a singular hair sticky straight up

[beeominous]

Me and my mom were yapping on the way home from church bcuz we got lunch together and coffee and she was telling me how when she was younger she thought she’d be with some older guy bcuz she rlly liked older guys.

I was shaking and holding myself back from telling her my undying love for Daryl Dixon. Oh Daryl Dixon the man you are. He may be older than my dad and my step dad, but he’s so fine idec. No one understands me 💔💔

Like I’d be the first one dead because I’d be staring at Daryl’s forearms. And as much as I miss season 1 Daryl, I LOVE season 5 Daryl with his long hair. Like grrr yes sir<3. Who needs boys from school when M E N like Daryl exist?

[zorymochuu]

[beeominous]

Sometimes I wonder if the people I used to talk to on the internet still think of me like I think of them

[meowboys]

tagged by @lycheemetamorphosis from my main but i will answer on my sideblog hehehe

rules: Go to pinterest, search for ‘my vibes’ + a color you like and post the 9 pics you find most aesthetic

i tag anyone who wants to do it !!! but i will call out @paintandichor @lipsticklens @will-grahams-fawn @hyperfixatinglove @floralpotions

[lilyyyevans]

Thanks for the tag!!!

@alphabetically-deranged @flavouredpotayto @b4rty-r0s13r-w1ll-fck-y0ur-m0m @altair-meadows-pb @anything-for-my-moons @somecluelessidiot-moots @soythesauce @casuallllfollower @silentsupernova @cassiopeia-rising @ladymacbethisasmash @ineffablelyqueerwolfstarshipper @space-girliee

[ladymacbethisasmash]

Ty @ineffablelyqueerwolfstarshipper for the tag as well x

But highkey that's me..

@nomnomwotsits @notprongs @a-sucker-for-a-sucker-offical @yourteandyourtoast @poladroid +open

[a-sucker-for-a-sucker-offical]

OMGGGG @ladymacbethisasmash YOURS LOOKS SO KOOL ESP THE TEETH AND CAT

@everlong-777 @gaster-wd @sleeplessangel777 @pyra-lightningbolt @thegayriley @mqlintent-main <- fallen icon @cuttlefishnoodle @sw0ape4ter @yourlocalavian @seriouslythisisagoodname @notprongs @sirsamueloflydia @sunshine-snake @therollypolly @emotional-traffic-cone @dexxius @ember-ladida @very-normal-tape-recorder @carlthehedgehog

[sunshine-snake]

prev, i love yours sm

open tags! (who i'm tagging below the cut) :) /nf

@beanzdabean @gaysnake43 @iicor @yourlocalavian @wiltingtu1ips @ver-astroii @autopilotangel @toadfree @maedaeeee @elilovestrafficsmp @iwishfishwerereal @biteygremlinanon @nerd-alerts @mcytobsessedshine @foxeroni @purrrrplecats @bucket-of-axilotl @fledgeheart @goodtimeswithshane @sea-jellie-thoguhts @ellie-star @ihavebeenstrippedfrommywhimsy @dawn-but-different @opalizedninjacat @vivaciousmessypixie @chocolate-croissant50 @mare-the-gupxolotl @cherryseed7 @merthaevelynk @blue-jay27 @i-had-a-bad-feeling @sparkleblast73 @lavendersongz @kitkat-moon-flameflower @raynilikescats @vinyl-cat @sparkleblast73 @em-the-mushroom815 @twistinghalo @skystarstudios @peskybirdonxy + anyone else :)) /nf

[iicor]

sunnie i love yours! very fitting :D

@aussiebeth @autopilotangel @depressionanddrama @vickysnowpawz @sunshine-snake @coppperrrcoinnnn @aries0nmars @manesetgalaxies @maedaeeee @mars2moons @moon-storm @kitab00m101 @phoenixrainsfire413 @colliet-collector @deltenner @ver-astroii @sage0clock @tabbykai @landofw0nder /nf + open tags!

[ver-astroii]

iicor, yours is so pretty <3

@maimaitheartist @thunder-dexy @simplyasthat25 @callme-marco @akiastar24

[akiastar24]

Ty for the tag!!

My Pinterest knows me so well 🥹💓

tag list! @karib3rry @carb0n-m0n0xide @elronthemage @afteas2003 @meetmeataliminalspace @thunder-dexy @butt3r-toast +open tags!!

[afteas2003]

ty for the tag!!! Yours is such a viiibe. So much whimsy

@warjestershire @i-am-a-living-god @dettiqueen @sickeninglysweetzzz @ghostlychaosfoil

[beeominous]

@riseriot @shiroart-white @shipperofthenineseas @lilic0211 and open tags cos I’m lazy

[beeominous]

I just got an Instagram reel about the actor for Rodrick in the original 2010 and 2011 films for diary of a wimpy kid and Rodrick rules, and it’s funny because it made me think about how when I was little I had a massive crush on Greg and as I got older I lost that crush but drifted to Rodrick

[beeominous]

Actually crying because it just dawned to me that I’ve been receiving emails from a CHRISTIAN college because I applied and my pfp is Arthur Morgan in all his rugged beauty…they’re gunna think I’m some cowboy with a beard </3

[beeominous]

Posting some of my favorite mafioso and chance drawings I made when I was knee deep in the forsaken fandom about a year ago. I haven't been active in the fandom for a while ever since it was released to the public that the creator of forsaken, which is a bad person, was still operating and receiving money behind the scenes. It made me stop playing and it got me out of the fandom. I was cleaning out my tablet so I could download my cookie run games on here to free up some space on my phone and found these hidden gems.

[beeominous]

As much as I have a disdain for romantic relationships now and I’m so scared of being committed to someone again to the point where I’ve given up, a part of me still yearns.

It still yearns for something it can’t have. It yearns for the feeling of being wanted by someone. It yearns to be loved by a yearner. It yearns to be held close at night. It yearns to hear those soft “I love yous” in the middle of the night. It yearns to feel close to someone’s soul and it yearns to be known in a way only that one person knows.

I do nothing but yearn. It yearns to break the cycle. The constant cycle of divorce and separation and hatred in my family.

I yearn for something soft. I yearn for a gentlemen who’ll look stupidly in love when I walk down the aisle. I yearn for all the corny things in a relationship.

I yearn and all I do is yearn.