blorbo based introspection

☆ cringe and proud<3 ☆ ☆ they/she ☆ 21 ☆ ☆ jewish ☆ white ☆ free palestine ☆ go to “#gp posts” for content I contribute to ☆ seeing people on tiktok call 2017 old tumblr makes me uncomfortable bc i was here in 2017 ☆ some of my tags have typos i know about it i’m just to lazy to retag everything so i’ve committed to the typo instead ☆ Icon: Wormthing aka R3ver1e

[beetle-freak]

putmothmaninamongus > beetle-freak 🪲

[melancholic-whimsy]

they hate me for my flat facial expressions and inability to contribute to conversations

[remakesihavetoremake-deactivate]

Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin’ real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn’t want it, Archie’s dad! So what we got now is this old tree stump behind the construction lot! Everything’s built on that! That’s all we got, boy, fuckin’ all. So I hope you know that, even if you don’t never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on - and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you’ll kill me for needing somethin’ I don’t hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I’m not you… I can’t make it on a coupla high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me archies dad, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.

Well, why don’t you? Why don’t you just let me be? It’s because of you FP, that I’m like this! I’m nothin’… I’m nowhere… Get the fuck off me! I can’t stand being like this no more, FP.

[thesituation]

i don’t feel like debating that topic much farther bc truthfully if it comes down to “women will lose to men in every sport bc they don’t have as much testosterone!!!!!” my elite feminist response is honest to god “ok we will lose with honor as equals instead of having our own special Easy Mode Female category so we can win amongst ourselves” like i’m sorry i just can’t be persuaded. i’m a brick wall. i want co-ed sports

[thesituation]

i bring a sort of “women can lose at some sports against men if it means being regarded as equals” vibe to the debate that “testosterone objectively increases performance” people don’t really like

[animentality]

[catchymemes]

[simply-a-dream]

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

[creative-anchorage]

[suriandtaal]

[shilyas]

mlep

[bobbole]

Carrie Liao, Alien visitor

[my-2nd-account]

One night after a tough game, JJ convinces Shane to go to a bar with the rest of the team. He tried to turn him down bc he's beat and just wants to go to his hotel room and get some sleep before an early flight tomorrow, but JJ had already anticipated this and got Hayden in on it so he wouldn't let Shane into the room. They end up going to the nearest bar they find "Come on Cap just an hour or two and we'll let you go it's right around the corner" and said bar happens to have a mechanical bull riding machine (no clue where these exist in Canada just dw bout it). Shane's competitive ass sees everyone there including his teammates fail miserably, so he decides to give it a shot to show them how it's done. Everyone is like haha until my boy is up there and lo and behold Captain Hollander is... really fucking good at bull riding? They all know Shane never half asses anything in his life but where the fuck did he learn to ride like this!? And Shane deadpans "It's about balance and relaxing your hips to move in rhythm with the movement instead of fighting it" and everyone's like ok sure??? Anyways, someone in the bar is a hockey fan and recognizes Shane and takes a video of him bull riding. In less than 15 minutes the clip is blasted all over social media and everyone is collectively losing their shit over Hollander wearing a backwards cap moving his hips in a way no human should be allowed to and riding like his life depends on it under dim sexy red lighting.

Cut to Ilya Rozanov hundreds of miles away up at 3 in the morning almost breaking his phone screen from how hard he's gripping it after replaying the 7 second clip for the 200th time and he's never been more hard in his life.

And he's the only one who knows where Shane Hollander learned to ride.

#not his first rodeo

[closet-keys]

"I would kill to protect my family" (<- wants to kill people)

"I would die to protect my family" (<- passively suicidal)

I think a lot of men just add "to protect my family" after all their fantasies

[hookshot22]

Not leaving this in the tags

[bogwizzerd]

in case you ever encounter such a person, there is a foolproof rebuttal

[orchidvioletindigo]

It should 100% be illegal for companies to make you give them your payment information when you sign up for a free trial version of their product. It is not necessary and there is no good fucking reason for them to do it. It’s blatantly just so they can steal forgetful customers’ money.

[saint-batrick]

oh hey, thanks for reminding me to cancel a free trial i had going on.

[tattooedzombigirl]

Reblog to save an unnecessary charge cause it also reminded me to cancel a trial lol

[userfish]

genuinely crying laughing

[myriapoda-1306]

I often feel like a forager wasp when I'm buying dairy for my family

(Self portrait)

[ghsot]

everyones got that fic they chip away at like michaelangelo sculpting david. and brother? its penis month

[ghsot]

asked my friends if they knew what i was referencing and they said no. we all know that post where someone divided how long it took michelangelo to sculpt david by it's size and went "yuuuuup. whole month spent on penis" right. sure, my search history is full variations upon "michelangelo penis month tumblr" to no avail, but we all know it. right.

[itriedonce]

Hi, that was a MBMBAM bit. But i see you and i hear you and i dont know if someone already said something

[ghsot]

oh my god youre right.

[transformativeworks]

[ID: Screenshot of a transcript.

Travis: Yeah. It well--but it's seventeen feet tall divided by twenty-four months means that every month he crafted point seven--so like about three-quarters of a foot. Right? So, nine inches. So yes, I could say that just statistically speaking, there was a wiener month.

Griffin: Okay. "So how was your September, Michelangelo?" "It was, it was intense."

/ID]

[freesiadotcom]

inspired by the scariest words my dm has ever said to me and the subsequent coolest (AND SCARIEST) scene of my life

[meirimerens]

conversation i just had

[meirimerens]

#mystash

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